Lucy POV
I knew my interpretation of recent events was too good to be true. Believing that triggering Bernard's mid-game event early would be the only anomaly was too naive after all.
In the game, his route was the easiest to complete. He pretty much only cares about fighting and breaking through strong defenses. So once the player has a chance to show off their shield spell, they receive a big boost to Bernard's affinity, and the friendly spar event would trigger. If the player has decent proficiency with light magic by that point, they would pass the event.
However, Bernard's route differed slightly from the others' because of his 'act first, think later' personality. When his affinity reaches the halfway point, the early marriage proposal event triggers.
So if you plan out your approach well, you can rush through his route really quickly, which was a nice find when I was trying to get all the endings, but I really thought I was in the safe range here still.
Since I had zero interactions with him beforehand, I believed it was okay to do the friendly spar event with him, but apparently for some reason his affinity increased beyond what was possible in the game by this point. Did I stand out that much at the student tournament or did I do something special during the spar?
I really don't know, but it doesn't matter anymore. I was genuinely surprised when he asked me to marry him and it felt incredibly strange. Developments like this aren't uncommon in otome games, but seeing a handsome guy look at me with such serious eyes while giving a marriage proposal, did make me feel really out of my depth. In my past life such a scene happening to me would be downright absurd.
But at least I managed to keep my wits about me and refused his proposal, though it felt really awkward…
Still, if events follow the game's course, my refusal shouldn't affect things too much. Originally if you accepted the proposal, you just got locked into Bernard's route and the game goes on with the main story. But even if you refuse, you can still return to his route later if you decide to pursue him after all.
So it was probably just a design choice to keep in line with how rashly Bernard would act after getting a bit of interest in someone. But for me it also brings up a large problem that I have been afraid of ever since I ended up as Lucy here.
This world's Bernard… Did he propose because he actually likes me, or because his affinity had simply reached the halfway mark? In other words, were those his true feelings, or had the world's will forced him into it just because I'm Lucy?
I don't even know how to find a definitive answer to that. This is exactly why I wanted to avoid capture targets as long as I could.
"Just how much longer do you plan on spacing out?"
"...! Ah, I'm sorry Miss Julia, I'll get back to it…"
Coming back to my senses, I remember that I'm supposed to be in the middle of light magic class, yet I've just been sitting in front of a special, magical withered plant in the forest clearing doing nothing for who knows how long.
"Like you could do anything with your head in the clouds during this entire lesson."
"..."
"What, are you still thinking about how the tournament ended?"
"Huh? The tournament…? Ah, not really."
With everything going on, that hasn't been on my mind lately. Honestly I can't even tell if it was a good or bad idea in the end, but well, not like it matters anymore and I have bigger problems now anyway.
"Then, have you already found something else to be sad about so quickly?"
"..."
I know Miss Julia is supposed to be a colder, more cynical character, but that phrasing feels a bit off. Do I really come across as that melancholic?
"Haah… You always take everything so seriously. Your problem is that you always spend too much time overthinking things."
"Ow!"
She says in a scolding tone and suddenly flicks my forehead. Then she continues in a slightly softer voice:
"Sometimes it's okay to just do what you want to, and if things don't work out that's fine too. You can just stand up and keep going. But if you truly feel powerless and lost, it's okay to ask for help. There are always people near you who are ready to lend a hand. So, what's on your mind this time?"
"...!"
Even with the slight sting still lingering on my forehead, Miss Julia's words resonate with me. Her usual cool exterior melts away as she looks at me with a gentle, caring expression. I'm left speechless for a moment with a warm feeling building in my chest.
"Wh-why… why would you treat someone like me so nicely?"
"This kid… To be blunt, you give off the feeling of someone who you wouldn't be able to do anything on their own."
"Ugh."
"That being said, you might be a helpless brat, but you're an endearing helpless brat. And I can see that you're always trying your best while being mindful of others. I believe someone like that deserves a bit of push every now and then, wouldn't you think?"
"I… don't know."
"You can ask me, that prince boy or your little tsundere friend, I think our answers would be more or less the same."
I… don't want others to be forced to follow a script by the will of this world against their desires, but I also can't let this world go down a bad end route.
While my recent situation with Bernard makes me uncertain of how much influence the game's story has over this world, it is also true that other people have acted out of character a lot as well.
Especially with Miss Julia now in front of me, overtly expressing her willingness to help me, something her in-game version never did, which does make me a little hopeful.
So… Maybe I'll let myself believe that they still have their free will a little longer and keep on trying my best. At least until I've secured a good ending.
"Miss Julia, thank you. Thank you for everything! Your words truly helped me a lot!"
***
Seraphina POV
Even after sleeping on it once, I still don't understand my feelings at all. I really want to talk to someone about it, but well I was never overflowing with friends. Especially with Lucy out of the picture since this is something I can't exactly ask her about.
Other than her there's maybe Arthur, we have been getting along somewhat better recently after all, but with his personality I feel like it would bring me more trouble than answers, so he's out too.
In the end I decided to resort to the method I've always used when I didn't understand something. Find books on the given subject and try to find answers among the thoughts of different authors.
While I usually use this method for academic questions, trying to understand emotions through fictional stories should still have at least some value. So I subtly asked around in my usual circles, but with such special circumstances I didn't manage to find any books on the subject.
However, one supplier, while they said they couldn't help me, did give me an address for a shop that might have what I want.
So today I quickly wrapped up my student council duties and came straight to Academy City to find this mysterious establishment.
"You have to be kidding me…"
Just as I approached the address on the note, I found myself entering a painfully familiar alley. After confirming I came to the right place a few more times, sure enough it's that shady shop Lucy brought me to before.
"Haah. Whatever."
I push my doubts to the side for now and decide to at least give it a chance and enter the dimly lit shop.
"Ah, a returning customer. Welcome, have a look around."
That annoyingly alluring female voice says as the hooded shopkeeper is still behind the counter, just like before.
Why does she have to remember me? I'd have rather forgotten my entire time here.
I already feel like leaving, but I still force myself to look around. We came here mainly for clothes last time, but this shop is crammed full of everything one can think of. I remember seeing a few stacks of books before, so I head to a certain corner and flip through a few of them.
Hm, there's a dictionary, some sort of botanical research paper, and a children's book in the same pile.
Yep, just like I thought. It's impossible to find anything in this mess. Hoping that at least the books would be organised was wishful thinking after all. I could spend my entire evening searching through this place and still find nothing I want.
Ugh, do I really need to ask her about this? Or should I just give up?
I hesitate for a few seconds, but then I think back to the moment I heard Bernard's proposal to Lucy and I feel the same suffocating feeling in my chest again.
So after a deep breath I walk up to the counter.
"Oh? What can I help you with, dear customer?"
"...Do you sell fiction novels here?"
"Hmh, I have a wide variety of books covering all kinds of topics. Even stuff you wouldn't be able to find anywhere else hehe~ So what are you looking for?"
She explains in a teasing tone. I push my irritation aside and recount the same story I used with all my contacts.
"So I've been reading a certain novel where the protagonist has a best friend and the two of them enjoy their time together. The characters are both girls and then one day the best friend gets proposed to by a righteous noble, which should be a cause for celebration, yet the protagonist can't help but feel down about it. It's not jealousy, the book explicitly states that the protagonist truly wants the best for her friend. Do you have any novels that deal with similar ideas?"
If I keep my story vague like this, others shouldn't be able to connect it to me. Especially since Bernard's proposal was only witnessed by me and I haven't heard anyone gossip about it either. So this made up novel should be a perfect cover for me.
"Oh, it's an interesting premise. How did that story end?"
"It never did. The author died before finishing it, so the plot never got resolved. That's why I'm curious if any other authors dealt with similar themes in hopes to understand what the ending could have looked like for the original novel."
"Hm, does this novel have a name? Maybe I've heard of it before."
Tsk, why does this woman want to know so much?
"Like I said the story was never finished or published, the author died before she had a chance to do it. I only came across the manuscript."
"I see, I see. Came up with a pretty good story huh… The author I mean."
"...!"
The shopkeeper mumbles to herself, and I can't help but feel her words are testing me, but I try to keep a neutral face and keep going.
"Do you have anything like that or not?"
"I do or maybe I don't…?"
"Which one is it then?"
Does this old hag have a special ability to get on my nerves or something? I feel like I'm losing years of my life just by interacting with her.
"That depends. Are you here as the student Seraphina Lazarius or as a member of the student council of Golden Vow Academy?"
"...! H-how did you…?"
"Hehe, I have my ways. So, which one is it?"
She throws my question back at me with a playful tone.
"Why does it matter?"
"Well, as someone running a reputable shop like this one, I would rather not have the academy breathing down my neck. So I might have stock that I'd prefer to sell to customers who… wouldn't complain about what they bought?"
"..."
Every word this woman says just makes this whole place seem even more shady!
After my first encounter here I even looked into this establishment more. It's called 'Hidden Dragon' and it popped up a few years ago. I guess that's an okay name for a shop that hides a few good items among a bunch of fakes. But it doesn't even have a sign or anything like that so just getting its name took me a long time.
After looking further into it, a few locals did complain about it being a bit suspicious, but other than that it has a pretty much spotless record. However I have a harder time believing that with every second I spend here.
"...I'm here as a student."
"Hmh, good girl! Give me a moment to find something you'll like."
"..."
She goes to the back and after a few minutes she returns with a book in hand.
"While I do have some novels that go deeper into the subject you're curious about, I feel like those would be too high level for you. But I think you'll like this one."
She puts the book on the counter and explains with a slightly excited voice.
"Just… tell me the price."
If I left with nothing after this whole ordeal I'd feel even worse, so by now I don't even care about the details of this book, I just want it to get over with.