This is a total disaster!
My infiltration mission as "Bourbon" has collided directly with "Lupin's" objective.
The target this time is a hideout belonging to a hostile organization. They disguised it as an office in a mountainous region, though it seems the locals have been suspicious of them for quite some time. What a sloppy attempt at stealth.
My orders: pillage and annihilate.
I am to storm the hideout and retrieve a gem surrounded by ridiculous rumors claiming it "grants immortality."
I thought to myself: Isn't this a job for the "Phantom Thief Kid"? Have you lot turned into romantics despite being a criminal syndicate?
Or perhaps, am I being entrusted with a mission regarding "immortality"—a subject that touches the very core of the Black Organization?
Despite the thoughts racing through my mind, only one thing mattered.
Why are you making me undertake such a violent, dangerous mission alone!?
The target appears to be the enemy's main headquarters, and security is extremely tight. It is an arsenal teeming with weaponry, ranging from handguns to modified automatic rifles.
What are they thinking, throwing an ordinary person like me—armed with nothing but iron claws—into a place like this?
According to Pisco, they judged my past performance and decided I would have no trouble crushing this level of resistance.
Damn you bastards.
As usual, I infiltrated the perimeter until I reached the central zone, then smashed through the security door. Up until that moment, I had no idea Lupin was involved.
Lupin isn't the type to always send calling cards. He is a whimsical criminal who sends warnings whenever the mood strikes, purely for the thrill of it.
Panting from exhaustion, I took down the guards alerted by the crash, then sprinted through a hail of bullets. I had somehow acquired an uncanny ability to deflect bullets with my claws—though in reality, it was the result of instinct and tracking their lines of sight.
Finally, I reached the deepest chamber. The scene resembled science fiction: a massive vault sitting there like a giant space station.
The vault was already open. Beyond it, I found the target gem... and two men.
One had a monkey-like face with a distinctively playful expression, wearing an eye-catching red jacket. The famous "Lupin the Third."
The other was a samurai clad in a white kimono and hakama. Is that blade at his waist the Zantetsuken (the Iron-Cutting Sword)? It is Ishikawa Goemon.
The sudden appearance of such titans left me speechless, my mind reeling from the shock.
Wait, wait, wait... I'm done for. I'm dead meat.
Lupin lifted the gem, watching me from the corner of his eye with the mischievous grin of an unruly child.
"My, oh my. We have a dangerous guest here."
"...I never imagined my target and Lupin the Third's would be one and the same."
"We're the ones taking the gem, brother. Don't take it personally."
Beside him, Goemon silently rested a hand on his hilt, shifting into a side stance. Please, stop.
Frankly, even if I performed a miracle, I couldn't defeat Goemon.
But if I just stood there and let them go, the mission would fail, and I would face severe punishment. No doubt about it.
Forward was hell; backward was hell. It was the literal definition of being between a rock and a hard place.
Ah, screw it!
"You don't intend to hand that gem over to me, do you?"
"Do you think I would?"
"...If possible, I'd rather avoid doing something as terrifying as making an enemy of Lupin the Third."
"Tough luck, then. I know you, 'Bourbon.' The Organization's rabid dog... or was it the 'Bloodstained Wolf-Dog'?"
Had those embarrassing titles spread through the underworld enough to reach Lupin's ears?! Impossible.
Just the thought that the real Furuya Rei might hear about this made me shiver.
I never expected to write such a humiliating dark chapter in my life at the age of twenty-six... It wouldn't end with just a beating; it would be far worse.
"I'm just a nobody whose reputation grew bigger than reality."
"I don't think so. You killed everyone here. And entirely on your own."
"...Yeah, sort of."
If I had the luxury of holding back in the middle of that storm of bullets, I wouldn't call myself an ordinary person.
My bloodstained iron claws reflected the fluorescent light with a savage gleam, and my black suit was soaked in blood.
It was a gruesome, nauseating sight. In fact, I had thrown up once before reaching this room. My stomach hurt.
Lupin gripped the gem, winked lightly, and turned to leave.
"Adios, Bourbon. I can't hand this over to you guys. Goemon, I'm counting on you for the rest."
"Understood."
"You think I'll let you escape!"
I pushed off my right foot and unleashed a horizontal strike with full force.
Ishikawa Goemon drew his blade, the Zantetsuken, and parried my savage iron claw with the fluid grace of running water.
Aaargh! A samurai! Why is there a samurai here?! Though, of course, I should have expected this.
Click.
The faint sound of the blade clearing its scabbard triggered a violent reflex, forcing me to twist my body sharply to the left.
In that split second, a beautiful flash of steel sheared a few strands of hair right off my head.
Somebody save me... please...
The white blade flashed with terrifying speed, leaving only a faint afterimage. Three strikes. Four.
A high-pitched ring whined in my ears as I dodged with every fiber of my being, screaming on the inside.
Stop, stop, stop! That one just grazed me! It grazed me! I'm done for! Aaaargh!
I tried to thrust my claws through his openings, but Goemon slipped past them, his movements flowing like water.
Relying purely on instinct, I snapped my claws to my side the moment I heard the metallic hum of his sword cutting the air.
Impact.
The Zantetsuken screeched as it ground against the claws blocking its path.
Blood trickled from my cheek into my mouth, tasting of iron. In mere seconds, my body was covered in cuts.
Ah, one of my claws just went flying! He sliced through the metal alloy like butter. The man is a monster!
My opponent, on the other hand, remained virtually unscathed.
All I had achieved was severing the right sleeve of his kimono; it fell away where my claws had grazed the fabric. That was it.
Me against Ishikawa Goemon? There is no way I can win!
"What a pity."
"...What do you mean, Ishikawa Goemon?"
"I have never seen a beast as skilled as you. To evade my sword strikes relying solely on instinct."
I realized it the moment I saw Goemon reset his stance.
This incredible samurai hadn't been serious at all. He still had five more levels of power in reserve.
A chill of pure terror ran through me, and I leaped back like a frightened cat to put some safe distance between us.
"Hmph." Goemon nodded, looking at me with satisfaction.
"Your judgment to retreat the moment you sensed my seriousness just now... that, too, is impressive."
"...Please stop overestimating me. I've realized the gap in our strength, so could you turn a blind eye this once?"
"If I let you go now, you will pursue Lupin."
"Impossible. I wouldn't commit such a suicidal act."
At least I had left proof that I fought.
If I claimed I surrendered without resistance, punishment from the Organization would be certain. But saying I fought Ishikawa Goemon changed the equation completely.
If I lost to this "living exhibition of superhuman feats," even the Organization wouldn't blame me too harshly.
I backed away even further, leaving my final words while praying inwardly.
"I am withdrawing my claim on the gem. Ishikawa Goemon, it was an honor to cross blades with you."
"You beast. Next time, you would do well to learn human techniques."
"...I'll keep that in mind."
I did it! This is the guaranteed survival route!
Goemon lowered his sword, silently watching me go. An S-Rank complete victory! Life is wonderful!
I fired my remaining functional grappling hook and escaped through the ceiling to the outside.
I sprinted through the darkness of the night, and with that, today's mission finally came to an end.
What a truly harrowing experience.
But perhaps it is time I started learning martial arts seriously.
Hey, original self... please teach me boxing.
It really is baffling.