Chapter 1 - 7 months later and your presence is still here.

He would touch me everyday and now he doesn't, he would amorously glance at me but not anymore. He's gone, the one sentence I thought I would never hear come out my mouth but it did and I hated it and loved it at the same time. He made me so giddy at the time and I always looked so stupid but I felt so blissful. I knew that we were so young and barely had any knowledge about relationships but I loved the fact that I finally had someone who claimed they loved me. I've always wanted to be in love but this wasn't love, it was lust so strong that you craved more each second even if you knew it wasn't what you really wanted but in that moment that was all I wanted and all I had. The absolute piffle he would text me was absurd but even I myself still fell for it. I always tarted myself up for the school day and no I don't mean makeup that was never for him I mean my clothes or may I say my undergarments. Matching sets, lacy bras, shaved polished legs, and I would even stuff my bra more to give my breast that cleavage look I never once had. As the months passed along the so called "love" vanished and he never texted me to just "talk" it was always about sexual activity's and I hated it. "He was just an infatuation Eden nothing more" I always told myself but never had courage to Actually believe it. Limerence is not something to be played around with and is DEFINITELY not fun to feel or at least lose. I would say that was one of the best school years of my life but that was a fib. I always got so wistful thinking about that year and the memories that would flood my head and pour out my eyes leaving a loud thuds in my head afterwards. Besides January being so cold and depressing it was extremely dreary that week of his vacation. I felt alone and my body felt so quiet but so free at the same time. The moment the clock hit 8:30 am which meant class was starting I felt forlorn but free like all the bricks I was holding was now gone I felt liberated and it was the best feeling ever. I walked around with confidence instead of thinking "is he staring at me??" and I finally didn't have a stubborn little boy always aggravating me. The year finally ended but I felt not but apathy, the whole school year I feared the last day of school because it was the last day I would ever see his beautiful hazel eyes again and of course feel him close to me. He sent inconsequential messages to me in the summer and when I did respond of course no response back so I just stopped texting and soon finally blocked him on his birthday. I always found it so strange that his birthday was a day after mine but that never stopped me. I'm glad and thankful I don't have him in my life anymore. So to all the young women out there struggling with any lustful man that has no true intentions on pursuing you. Leave him and never look back even if he still pops up in your dreams wonce in a while that means nothing. He might've touched me with his hands but never with his kind or affectionate words so he meant nothing.