(Lira regrets everything immediately.)
The next morning at the Adventurers' Guild, Lira was actually having a good day.
She sat behind the counter, tea in hand, feet up, soaking in the rare moment of peace.
"What," she said aloud, smiling, "could possibly ruin this beautiful day?"
The air went still.
Somewhere, a divine being whispered: you fool.
Because right then the doors swung open.
And in walked Rex.
He had the world's most suspicious smile.
He also had a suspicious bag.
With a very suspicious gauntlet-shaped bulge sticking out of it.
And a sword hanging from his hip like he had been waiting his whole life to accessorize.
Lira stared at him.
He tried—oh, he tried—to look normal.
But his excitement was basically leaking out of him like steam from an overpressured kettle.
"Morning," Rex said, voice cracking with contained joy.
"…Morning," Lira said slowly.
He marched straight to the mission board, as casually as a gremlin trying to pretend it hasn't set the kitchen on fire.
He plucked a simple mission request: Boar Hunt (50 Boar).
Basic. Low risk. Good for beginners or hungover veterans.
He slapped it onto Lira's desk.
She eyed him, then the suspicious bag, then him again.
"Just that?"
"Ya," he said.
Which was the least trustworthy "ya" she'd heard in her entire career.
Cut to: The Forest — Rex Absolutely Overkilling Wildlife
Rex stood in a clearing, slipped the gauntlet onto his left hand, and whispered:
"Ignis."
FWOOOMPH.
A boar was instantly roasted.
He blinked.
"…Nice."
He said "Ignis" again.
Another boar cooked. Perfectly golden-brown.
And then he got excited.
He started frying them.
Not hunting—deep frying.
Boar after boar fell like they had walked into a culinary warzone.
He cooked them, carved them with his sword like some kind of unhinged campfire chef, and moved on.
Fire everywhere.
Trees smoking.
Wildlife fleeing.
Rex humming happily.
He needed to do 50 boar.
He did 100 in a quarter of the time.
Mostly because he forgot to count and just kept yelling "Ignis."
Back at the Guild — Lira's Jinx Comes Full Circle
Lira didn't even look up as he approached.
"Did it explode?" she asked, already preparing healing magic.
She finally raised her eyes.
And froze.
Rex stood there with:
A blood-dripping sword in his right hand
A smoking gauntlet on his left
The proudest smile she'd ever seen
"…Rex," she said slowly, "what did you do?"
He shifted slightly.
"Uhh… might've doubled the thing."
"Doubled. You doubled the boars."
"Ya."
Lira stared at him, knowing this meant paperwork.
A lot of paperwork.
But she handled it:
Filed the mission
Marked the official 50 boar
Bought the other 50 from him on behalf of the guild, which was definitely too much money
Wondered if she should start charging him a collateral fee for existing
And then Rex did the thing that made her soul leave her body for a second.
He grabbed a higher-level mission.
An Elemental Execution.
She grabbed his wrist. "Rex. Are you sure? This one is—this one is actually hard."
"Why not?" he said with a grin.
Lira closed her eyes. "Just… be careful."
He nodded and walked out.
Lira prayed.
The Elemental Lands — Rex's Confidence Dies Horribly
The air was molten.
Trees melted.
Rocks glowed orange.
This should've been Rex's first warning.
Instead, he muttered, "Huh. Warm today."
Then he saw the target.
A fully floating FIRE ELEMENTAL.
A creature made of pure, condensed flame.
Rex's eyes narrowed, and he whispered:
"…oh. I messed up."
The elemental noticed him.
And immediately created several fire orbs, launching them at him like magical heat-seeking missiles.
Rex ran.
The orbs followed.
He slid under a root—one orb hit the root and exploded.
He zig-zagged between rocks—another orb hit a boulder and exploded.
Rex ducked behind a tree, panting.
"I think I lost—"
An orb appeared behind him.
"…oh come on—"
It was too fast.
He couldn't outrun it.
His inverted silver eyes glowed briefly—silver going faintly green—and his left arm lifted on its own.
BOOM.
The orb slammed into the gauntlet.
The gauntlet held.
Rex did not.
He was launched into the dirt like a ragdoll.
"What the hell!?" he shouted.
Noir snapped, "IDIOT! You almost got us killed!"
Sage's voice chimed in calmly, "If Mr. Green Wise Wizard had better hosts—"
"Shut up!" Rex yelled.
Sage continued, "Doesn't matter now. We need to run."
"Run? Really?" Rex said.
Noir sighed. "Dude. Listen. I usually WANT to fight everything with a pulse. But that—" He pointed mentally at the elemental. "—doesn't have a pulse. It's pure elemental. You can only hurt it with magic. And YOU only have—say it with me—FIRE."
"Dammit…"
He hid behind another tree.
"So what do we do?" he asked.
Sage said, "Burn the forest."
Rex and Noir (simultaneously): "WHAT??"
Noir: "We said escape, not DIE."
Sage: "If you burn the forest—even just a few trees—it will block the elemental's sight."
Noir: "It'll also make it STRONGER!"
Sage: "Better it stronger than us dead."
Both in unison: "Rex, you decide."
Rex sighed.
"Well… I guess we burn the trees. We escape, it gets stronger… but we have to tell Lira."
Both: "Good. Finally."
Rex took a deep breath.
Raised his gauntlet.
"Ignis."
Trees ignited instantly.
Smoke rose.
The elemental roared in confusion.
Rex ran.
And ran.
And did not stop running until he reached the guild.
Back at the Guild (Again) — Lira Already Tired
He barged through the door.
Before Lira could get a single word out, Rex blurted:
"It's stronger, had to set a fire to escape, it absorbed the fire, now it's stronger."
Lira blinked.
Then nodded.
"Okay. You rest. I'll deal with it."
She walked away with the resigned calm of someone who has accepted her fate.
Meanwhile, In Rex's Head…
Rex collapsed onto a bench.
Noir muttered, "You took control of him while he was awake."
Sage replied, "Would you prefer no vessel at all?"
"…Yeah, okay, fair," Noir admitted.
"Just remember—we both want this body. And we don't want it dead. Or Rex figuring out what we are."
"He won't," Sage said confidently.
They were wrong.
Because Rex, blocking them out with half-focused magic, thought silently:
That's exactly why I'm learning magic.
To control both of you.
He closed his eyes.
The gauntlet smoked quietly beside him.