The drive was short, but to Ryan it felt endless with the silence stretching between them. Adrian hummed along to the music playing, his tone low and calm, and his eyes forward throughout the drive.
Now and then, Ryan would steal a glance at him, catching a faint curve of his lips. And admiring how his hands rested casually on the steering wheel, effortlessly
Even though the silence was discomforting, Ryan dared not speak. Not a word. He feared breaking it would ruin the only chance he had, the only thread connecting him to his desperate hope.
A notification buzzed on his phone. Ethan. Where are you?
Ryan typed back carefully,
In a car with Adrian… I'm not sure where we're headed.
But before he could press the send button, Adrian's voice cut across the car. "Hop off," he said, calmly.
Ryan looked around, wondering when they had gotten there. It was a dimly lit garage in the underground of a tall building, completely foreign to him. Without asking, he slid out of the car and quietly followed Adrian.
The distance from the car to the elevator stretched even though it seemed close, with Ryan looking so out of it. The elevator doors opened to a long, dark hallway whose lights flicked on as they passed the wooden porches. Of course, everything screamed luxurious to Ryan. The size and ambiance of the garage, the design of the elevator, and this long hallway that somehow felt short.
Ryan's jaw dropped wider by the time Adrian stopped in front of a door, swiped a key card, a click, a swing of the door, and followed by an apartment, present, yet felt unreal.
It revealed its very high ceilings with wide open space and city lights glittering through the floor-to-ceiling windows.
The furniture, modernized in soft pastel tones, lined the areas of the lounge with smooth black couches, a shiny wooden table, and soft lighting gleaming from the chandelier at the center.
The kitchen at the far end looked like something touched once in a while, with its steel appliances, and utensils screaming orderliness gleamed with stainless steel appliances. And on one side, a staircase curved elegantly upward, hinting at another floor. The whole ambiance was scented with a savory sweet floor Ryan couldn't exactly place.
He took in the beauty of the place while instinctively comparing it to his own family home. The scene before him was just beyond average, beyond imagination, with each space bigger than his entire family house. And in this space where each décor whispered wealth and taste he could only dream of, he felt like an intruder. It gave him a thrill and awareness of how small, yet out of place, he was in this world... Of Adrian.
Even with that, he didn't take his eyes off the room, letting it roam freely and lingering on the fine arts on the walls, the cool, spotless floors... before the voice of Adrian, calm with an edge of sharpness, cut through it all. "What's your name?"
"Ryan," he whispered, turning to the good-looking man.
"Why do you want me especially to be your tutor?" Adrian asked, with a slight casual shrug, as if discussing a trivial matter. "There are plenty of others out there, why ain't you meeting any of them?"
Ryan swallowed hard. "You're the only senior I know about. And I know how to meet you."
Adrian squinted slightly, the faintest curve of amusement tugging at his lips. "Hmmm…" He muttered and went silent, gaze still fixed on Ryan sitting at the edge of the couch, knees drawn up, as if trying to make himself smaller. That motion was impossible to ignore
Adrian began striding forward in slow, deliberate steps and stopping when he was sure his presence towered over Ryan enough. Ryan's face lifted as he leaned closer, his dark eyes locking onto Ryan's. Those pleading, large, round, and vulnerably clear eyes that seemed to pull at him. Tugging at something deep, something that only lets surface once in a blue moon.
"You said you'd do anything," Adrian murmured, his voice now low-pitched, yet attractive.
Ryan nodded, whispering a "Yeah."
Adrian leaned closer, his gestures slow and openly deliberate. With every forward move from Adrian, Ryan felt himself pressing backward, until his spine was on the couch and he had nowhere else to move to. His flesh tensed up gradually with anticipation, confusion
and how Adrian wasn't showing any sign of pausing.
A veiny hand braced against the couch just beside Ryan's head as if denying him the freedom to move. Those controlled gestures and simple, yet close proximity between them stirred something in Ryan. It tugged at a sense he couldn't name but felt. A feeling, hot, burning his insides. It didn't feel bad, just a bit discomforting.
Before he could process the flood of thoughts, the unexpected, impossibly close warmth of soft flesh leaned into him. His heart picked up its pace, and a shiver went down his spine as their lips met. Suddenly, the wide space felt too enclosed with that pull tightening every time Adrian moved.
His mind went blank, as though unconsciously, telling himself to think of nothing and just focus on.
The kiss was warm, commanding, impossible to resist, and when he tried pulling back, his body refused to give in. It wanted that moment to linger... and it did with Adrian going from slow to an urgent pace, before pulling back slightly. A faint smirk curled up, his eyes studying Ryan. His every reaction. His chest was going up in a fast rhythm, his eyes wavering in confusion, yet wanting more. Adrian's gaze was curious, and his smile widened upon satisfying it.
"Relax," he murmured, his voice low and eyes still on Ryan, "Or… you don't like this?" He teased, knowing fully well every reaction Ryan failed to hide said otherwise
Ryan blinked against the face above him, covering the light above.
Did he like it? He didn't know what response to give. It wasn't unpleasant. And he liked how his lips tasted. A faint mix of mint and beer. "I… I don't know," he muttered.
As if that response mattered, Adrian leaned back in, continuing from where it stopped.
Of course, he doesn't need that answer to know what to do.
This time, it was more urgent, the rhythm faster, his tongue shoving into Ryan and sinking deep, trying to reach every corner of his mouth. Soft, faintly sweet, and carrying a subtle flavour of whatever he had eaten that evening.
Ryan couldn't keep up with the pace of Adrian's flow as his breath trembled under the rush of it.
With his mind failing to click at the fact that this was his first kiss, only a sharp, wild question kept running through it.
Why were they kissing each other?
He was starting to run out of air, gently pushing at Adrian to steal a moment to breathe. But Adrian's eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, and annoyance crossed his face.
Ryan's mouth flew open on instinct. "I'm sorry… I didn't… I didn't mean..." he stammered.
"You didn't mean what?" Adrian pulled back slightly, moving away from him.
He spiked up in panic and caught Adrian's index finger, in the haze of the moment, holding it desperately. "I'm really sorry," he pleaded, voice shaking and nearly on the verge of tears, "for pushing you away."
Adrian jerked his hands free, "Just… forget it. You've just ruined the mood."
Ryan's mind spun, going back to the endless thoughts of tutoring and grades. He was supposed to be focused, and instead his heart pounded as if it might burst. He was caught in Adrian's gravity, confused, scared, and… drawn.
Ryan reached for Adrian's hands again, holding them firmly. "Please…" he whispered, desperate. "I promise… I won't refuse anymore. I'm really sorry." His eyes locked on Adrian's, silently pleading, desperately, and asking him to see the sincerity in it.
Adrian's expression softened for a moment, heaving a sigh of retreat. He tossed his phone toward Ryan. "Put your number in. I'll text you." His tone was carrying a calm finality. Relief washed over Ryan as he hurriedly typed in his number.
Adrian turned and gestured toward the door. "You can leave, now."
Ryan hesitated, a weird mix of doubt and fear nestling into him, as questions flooded his head. Is this really over? Is this the last he'd see of him tonight?
Before he could question himself further, Adrian spoke again, his voice calm and almost reassuring: "I said I'll text you… Or do you want to spend the night here?"
He muttered a quick, "Thank you," and left, heart still racing, feeling like any small misstep would make Adrian change his mind.
_____________________
Every step he made felt heavy, with each one feeling like a heavy weight was put over him. His body felt weak, and his chest ached with exhaustion and adrenaline. The silent streets were dark and only broken by the occasional distant honking and screeching of a car.
It was late into the night, buses weren't running at that hour, and the few pedestrians he saw moved quickly, keeping to themselves.
He still walked slowly, every memory of the night, the kiss, and the sensation it gave him, replaying relentlessly in his mind. He had to stop more than once
He finally decided to book an online taxi after his legs gave and with trembling fingers, he navigated the app. The ride back felt endless, and by the time he reached the hostel, he was utterly drained, the soreness in his body reminding him of every step he had taken that night.
Ethan was waiting, eyes wide with curiosity and worry. "Ryan, what the heck happened? What happened to you? I kept calling and texting, but you weren't even picking up."
Ryan blinked, sluggishly lifting his phone.
Fifteen missed calls. Seven unread messages.
He had been so absorbed in the night's chaos that he hadn't even noticed his phone, still on DND, buzzing endlessly. "Uh… sorry about that," he said slowly, trying to sound as normal as possible.
"So… what happened? How did you and Adrian go?"
Ryan hesitated a bit, keeping his voice steady and careful. "He said he'd get back to me and just took my number."
He left out everything else. The walk to the car, the apartment, how his heart raced, the kiss. Those moments were private and embarrassing, something he'd be damned to let anyone know about.
Ethan pouted his lips, nodding slowly. "Well… that's progress, I guess. Did he say when it will be?"
"Nah," Ryan replied reluctantly and began climbing his bunk.
"Hey… man, you sure you're good?"
Ryan didn't respond. He rolled up his blankets tightly, silencing Ethan before he could pry any further. He tried to fall asleep, but the memories kept replaying, looping like a film he couldn't pause.
The weight of that night lingered, heavy and inescapable.