My consciousness was returning slowly while I delighted in the clean sheet and a pillow at just the right height.
Only someone who has managed to sleep in late on a Sunday after a whole week of overtime knows the feeling I had when I woke up.
Well, at least until I decided to move. I tried to sit up, braced my arms on the edge of the bed and pulled myself up with a clumsy jerk. I felt a sharp pain in my belly and let out a grunt that could in no way be considered delicate or ladylike. I looked at the ceiling and recognized my room.
Great, probably the Vane guards found us in time...
I forced my mind to think. It was difficult, as it seemed sluggish, likely the effect of some drug to dull the pain.
I looked at my belly. I was clean, bandaged, and changed. The pajamas were a delicate pink I didn't remember packing for this trip. Abigail had undoubtedly taken care of me when I arrived unconscious.
I looked at my status window:
[Condition: Sedated]Penalty of -1 to all characteristics.Effect: Reduces pain, increases drowsiness.
I looked at the bandages again and noticed that apparently my effort to get up had opened my wound, judging by the scarlet stain spreading across the white sash.
"Holy shit..."
"Always so demure, my fiancée."
With effort, I turned my head toward the window, where the voice came from, and saw Lucian wiping his eyes and straightening his posture. On his cheek, a red fabric mark told me he had fallen asleep with his face pressed against the hard table where I had taken my tea.
"Forgive me, Your Gra..."
"Don't you dare finish," he cut in, his voice hoarse with sleep. "While we are alone, call me 'you', or Lucian."
He turned to me, red eyes reflecting the light of the candles that still burned.
"Sorry, as you prefer," I said, trying but failing to ignore the ever-present pain.
He nodded and looked at me, expression worried.
"Heal yourself, Shizuo." I was a little startled when he called my name. I still hadn't gotten used to the idea of being an ally of the "Dark Duke."
"Your... Lucian," I corrected myself in time. "When we were in your room, I asked you to call me Livia. It's best, helps avoid public slips."
"You're right, forgive me Livia. But my request stands, heal yourself." He made a strangely long pause, as if struggling internally against pride or protocol. "Please," he finished.
I couldn't hold it back and a smile formed on my lips before I could do anything about it.
I checked the mental interface. [Mana: 60/100]
Apparently, the sleep was more restorative than I expected.
"How long have I been asleep?"
"About twelve hours," he said.
Wow. Half a day of sleep. I would be happy in any other situation, but it was hard now, with my belly open.
I placed my hand over the wound and began to channel mana to my fingertips.
"Minor Heal."
The characteristic golden light illuminated the room from my abdomen. I looked at Lucian, still sitting. He wore an open military coat over bandages wrapped around his torso.
On the dresser was the muddy and bloody shirt he wore when he came after me in the forest.
In the low light and the silence that formed, I thought of Hana. She hadn't manifested, and her presence remained retracted.
My wound tingled, and sometimes I could feel a sting as the flesh closed.
It won't be enough, focus on the organs, Hana's voice whispered.
Hana then projected into my mind a technical image of internal organs from an anatomy book. Without answering her, I obeyed and immediately felt a deeper pain. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, feeling my muscles regenerating at a cellular level.
When I opened my eyes after stabilizing the bleeding, I saw the two live embers staring at me.
"Now rest, you seem to be in a lot of pain," he said.
I ignored him. I got up, feeling much better now, and approached him.
He raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
"Can you show me where the club hit you?"
He hesitated, the defensive posture of someone not used to receiving help. But then he nodded. I noticed he had difficulty lifting his arms and helped him remove the heavy coat. I knelt beside him and extended my hands over the stained bandages on his ribs.
"Minor Heal."
The light enveloped his torso. He let out a long sigh, tension leaving his shoulders.
"As you must know, this event shouldn't have happened," he murmured.
"Yeah... Any idea who did this? I don't recognize any of those guys. They were generic mobs."
"None that can be proven, however..."
"Suspicions?"
"Let's just say Fergus was extremely helpful when informed of your kidnapping. He promptly sent his best men to the city to investigate."
"Very concerned about my well-being..." I commented, cynical.
"Indeed." He looked at me with a complicit smile. "The kidnappers were mercenaries. Known in the region, professionals."
"The kind you would hire to kidnap me?" I asked, remembering the original script.
He stared at me for a few seconds, expression serious.
"Yes. Weeks ago, I would have hired them, yes."
"Not now, nor in the future?"
"I don't think I need to. I already have you here, don't I?"
I nodded, averting my eyes back to the wound, feeling my face heat up.
The image of a human skeleton appeared in my mind, superimposed on his body. Courtesy of Hana, no doubt.
You're blushing, she said, apparently more awake and provocative.
I'm not falling for that. You can't see our face.
And do I need to? I would be if I were you. And if I cared about romance.
"Livia?"
I looked up at hearing my name, fearing I had mumbled my mental conversation aloud.
"My wound," he said. "It's fully healed."
No, the bone is just in place, he better stay still for a few more days.
"I put the bone in place, yes, but don't overdo it. Better rest for a few days," I instructed, standing up and sitting in the chair opposite him.
"Lucian? How did you manage to find me?"
"I wanted to know if everything was in order, so I came to see how you were. When you didn't answer my calls, I opened the door and noticed the forced window. When the prince suggested searching the city, I decided to check the path to the woods. It wasn't difficult to track the cart wheels on the muddy path."
"And who brought us back?"
"Captain Vincent. I will introduce him to you at the end of this week, but... I imagine you already know who he is."
Yes, I knew. He was Lucian's trusted man, loyal to the point of madness. He does everything his master orders without ever questioning. The Vane watchdog.
A shiver ran down my spine, and Lucian noticed.
"Don't worry, he is just a reflection of my nature. I want to believe I am a slightly better man now."
I smiled at him.
"I think crossing kidnapping and false imprisonment off your list helps a lot."
"I'm happy to go up in your estimation, Shizuo."
Once again he said my name, but this time I didn't want to correct him. It sounded... personal.
Again.
What is it this time, Hana?
You blushed again. You're falling for him.
Since when are you a romance expert, Hana??
I don't need to be, we share a body, remember? The palpitations, the sweat on our hand, this stupid urge to laugh non-stop like an idiot.
That's ridiculous, we almost died, I'm just very grateful.
Don't blame yourself, he really is handsome. And charming, in a gothic and depressed way.
While the mental debate raged on, I observed Lucian's profile as he looked contemplatively out the window, watching the garden illuminated only by the lamps along the main path.
And you, have you ever been interested in someone? I asked to shift the focus.
Well, only once.
In 'him'?
Him?
Yes, you said yesterday that you only knew how to deal with one person, and that he wasn't around.
Ah. Yes. It was... Someone I respected a lot in the other life.
What was he like?
Well, he was sloppy, bossy, too uptight, complained about anything minimally outside the box...
I'm not sure I understand, and you were interested only in this guy? Your whole life?
Yes. Because he challenged me, made me improve... He saw me and didn't automatically roll out a red carpet just because I had talent. He looked at me and said: "You're late." And he trusted me and I trusted him and no one else.
Trust... That's important, right? I reflected.
I looked at Lucian and saw him studying me. On his face, a gentle curiosity that didn't match the villain I knew.
"Lucian, can I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"How did you know my name? I mean... Even if you also came from Earth, how did you know it was me here? How did you know I wasn't just Livia acting strange?"
That was bothering me, in the back of my mind. And when Hana revealed that she also knew details about my life... My thoughts were a runaway train, and suddenly I found myself irritated with the situation. I felt exposed.
Lucian took a deep breath and seemed to make a decision.
"Right. We're going to need to trust each other. No. I want you to trust me, so I'm going to trust you."
I felt my chest tighten, not knowing why.
"I am not from the same Earth as you. Where I came from, there is no game called PsychoLove, there is only a..."
"Manga," I interrupted, remembering my conversation with Hana. A flash of icy understanding.
"That's it."
"And this manga is an Isekai?"
He nodded, looking into my eyes so I could see his sincerity.
"I knew it very well, I read it whole many times. You are the protagonist."
The pieces clicked together with a terrifying sound.
How they both knew who I was. The holes in my memory. The blank parts of my life... They weren't missing, they were just details of a background that was never even created.
Sorry, Shizuo. Hana's voice sounded tiny.
I didn't answer. I couldn't. All I could manage was to think about how my cherished memories, my days suffering in a shitty company, my childhood, ending up in an unknown world... Was none of that real? Was I just a few lines written in Hana's notebook?
"Shizuo, there's no reason to feel bad about this."
"Knowing that my fucking life was a fiction seems like a hell of a reason to feel bad!" I exploded, standing up abruptly from the table. The chair scraped on the floor with a horrible sound.
I felt the tears forming, hot and furious, but I forced myself not to let them fall. I wasn't going to cry in front of the "reader."
Lucian stood up and raised his hand toward my face. He stopped a few centimeters away, giving me time to retreat. I didn't retreat. With the back of his finger, he delicately wiped the held-back tear and looked at me firmly.
"In my world, all this is true. You are a character. But not here."
"You don't need to try to console me."
"I am not. What does it matter how you came to be? This isn't the world I knew in my version of Earth. Here we bleed." He pointed to the red stain on my belly, and then to his own. "Your pain is real. Your fear is real. You are as real as I am."
I wasn't able to answer. I felt that if I opened my mouth again, this time I wouldn't be able to avoid breaking down crying. The validation was... solid. Physical.
Instead, I turned and sat on my bed, hugging my knees, reflecting. Lucian moved away from the table and covered me when I lay down. He checked the window latch and went to the divan on the other side of the room.
"I'll spend the night here, just in case," he said, lying down and closing his eyes, without waiting for an answer.
I wouldn't give one, and he knew it.
I was a whirlwind. Anger, apathy, sadness.
Shizuo... Hana tried again.
No, Hana. I know what you're going to say, but not today, please. Leave me alone in the lobby.
...Sure.
Her presence retracted again.
I watched Lucian, thinking about what he had said. And although nothing he said had helped make me feel good, at least he made me believe that he believes in me. That he sees me.
For now, it would have to be enough.
I don't remember at what moment I closed my eyes, but I had no more strength to fight and surrendered to sleep with the image of Duke Vane asleep, guarding my door.