"Wrong!"
"Completely wrong!"
"Strength can only make you a powerful ninja, but it will not make you a qualified Kage."
"With your current strength and prestige, you are certainly capable of claiming the title."
"But do you honestly believe you can *be* a qualified Kage?"
"I..."
Before Kitsuchi could finish speaking, Onoki had already interrupted him, his voice sharp with instruction.
"To be a qualified Kage, the most important skill is not how hard you can punch, but being able to seize the right opportunity."
"You must seize every chance to strengthen the village and expand its influence."
"If you do that, then even if your personal strength isn't the greatest, the people will still be willing to follow your commands."
"Yes, Lord Tsuchikage."
"This time, Sunagakure seized the opportunity perfectly and took a bite out of us."
"Reply to Sunagakure: only five million ryo. If they are not satisfied with that, then we go to war."
*Demanding fifty million right off the bat—do they really think Iwagakure is Konoha, with pockets as deep as the ocean?*
Iwagakure has nearly twenty thousand ninja to feed, and every year is a struggle to balance the books; there isn't much surplus left over.
The Land of Earth's annual funding for Iwagakure is only 250 million ryo. Demanding 50 million means taking a fifth of their operating budget. We wouldn't be able to survive the winter.
If this old man could actually pull out a 50 million surplus without blinking, why would we even need to fight Konoha for resources?
"Yes, Lord Tsuchikage."
***
The Land of Grass.
A small nation wedged uncomfortably between the Land of Fire and the Land of Earth, bordering the chaos of the Land of Rain.
Somewhere deep underground.
"Black Zetsu... where is Black Zetsu?"
A deep, aged voice rasped in the darkness.
"How long has this old man been asleep?"
"Hey, you."
"That's right, you, the one squatting on the ground drawing poop shapes in the dirt."
"I don't know how Hashirama's cells managed to cultivate a creature like you. Hurry up and tell this old man how long I've been asleep and what the current situation in the ninja world is."
"Lord Madara! Are you getting up to pee?"
"..."
Uchiha Madara looked gloomily at the smiling, swirling-faced figure who had happily run over.
*This idiot.*
His expression cold, he said, "How long has this old man been asleep, what is the situation in the ninja world now, and where is Black Zetsu?"
"Huh~, Lord Madara has so many questions right after waking up? Black Zetsu didn't tell me the details either. Wait a moment, Lord Madara, I'll go ask him for you."
Spiral Zetsu (Tobi) said sheepishly, "I've been wondering what poop feels like recently. It's a mystery of the human condition! Why don't you get up and take a pee first, Lord Madara, or maybe a..."
"Shut up, you idiot."
Madara's face was lined with frustration. If he weren't currently hooked up to life-support tubes and unable to move easily, he would have long ago hung this guy on the Gedo Statue to dry out like laundry.
*Why was I so reckless as to use Hashirama's cells for experiments without better quality control?*
*To create a guy like this!*
*Sure enough, Hashirama is an idiot, and anything created from Hashirama's cells is also inherently idiotic.*
"Hashirama, that idiot!"
He cursed his old rival once more in his heart.
***
The Pure Land.
"Achoo~"
Senju Hashirama sneezed loudly, startling the spirits nearby.
"Madara! It must be Madara calling for me! I knew it! I must go find Madara!"
"Enough, Big Brother. That Madara guy isn't here at all. You've looked three times already. He hasn't died yet."
Senju Tobirama, in his soul form, watched his elder brother obsessing over Uchiha Madara again, and his face darkened inexplicably.
*Damn Uchiha Madara, he must have faked his death back then. I wonder how Konoha is doing now. I hope the Monkey (Hiruzen) can handle whatever mess Madara left behind.*
"Damn Uchiha Madara! The inherently evil Uchiha!"
"Hmph, inherently evil Senju Tobirama, prepare to die! My brother will definitely destroy your precious Konoha."
A katana struck from behind Tobirama, but he dodged it effortlessly using the Flying Thunder God Technique.
"Well, look who it is. Uchiha Izuna, the one I killed. What, do you want to taste the feeling of a pierced chest again?"
"Hmph, you underhanded Senju. Last time you ambushed me. Today, I will definitely kill you."
"Bring it on."
"Bring it on!"
"Oh dear... Tobirama, Izuna, stop fighting again."
Seeing the two about to tear into each other for the thousandth time, Senju Hashirama skillfully summoned a giant wooden Buddha to separate them...
***
Returning underground.
Uchiha Madara had finished listening to the report from the other White Zetsu clones.
"Heh heh, the ninja world is fighting again, just as expected. If Hashirama had listened to me earlier, none of this would have happened."
"Indeed, Hashirama was wrong. Only this old man is right. The Moon's Eye Plan is the sole path to salvation for this cursed world."
"Don't worry, Hashirama. Once I achieve peace, I will make sure you see it with your own eyes. I will prove how terribly wrong your naive ideology was!"
"Lord Madara, I have returned."
Just as Uchiha Madara was immersed in his beautiful future fantasy, Black Zetsu's raspy voice emerged from the ground.
"You're back. Report on the status of this old man's eyes."
"Lord Madara, your eyes are currently in Sunagakure. They were personally taken there by the Third Kazekage."
"Why are they in Sunagakure?"
Madara's brow furrowed. *Could it be?* He let out a cold snort.
"Are they coveting this old man's eyes? Did they discover the Rinnegan?"
"That brat should be grown up by now, right? How is he doing? Being targeted by greedy individuals, his life must be difficult, I suppose?"
"That's fine. More hatred will allow him to grow faster, making him easier to guide later."
"Uh~, well, Lord Madara... actually, after going to Sunagakure, his life has been quite good."
"He eats well, dresses well, there is no war, and he has his mother with him."
"Moreover, the current Kazekage adopted him as a godson and treats him very well. It doesn't look like they are after your eyes at all."
Black Zetsu said, scratching his round, pitch-black head.
Hearing this report, Madara was momentarily stunned.
Then he frowned deeply and slammed his hand against the armrest of his stone throne.
"Impossible! Absolutely impossible!"
"What are we talking about here?"
"The Rinnegan!"
"The legendary eyes of the Sage of Six Paths!"
"It is said that no one can resist the allure of such power."
"If the Kazekage of Sunagakure didn't take the boy there for this old man's eyes, then what did he take him for? Charity?"
"Maybe... he's after his mother~"
"???"
"!!!"
*What did he just say?*
Uchiha Madara, who had been resolute and calculating moments before, choked on Black Zetsu's words, unable to speak for a long time.
He stared blankly at Black Zetsu.
*After his mother!*
*Heh heh!*
After a long while, he finally recovered, his face twisting into an expression of contempt and mockery.
"Heh heh, just... just like that Hashirama guy?"
"All of them are men who crave beauty over power!"
"Fools who have lost themselves!"
"Idiots!"
*This old man, Uchiha Madara.*
*Known as the Shinobi World's Asura, capable of fighting the God of Shinobi—Senju Hashirama—to a standstill.*
*Back then, during the battle at the Valley of the End, if Senju Hashirama hadn't disregarded martial ethics and launched a sneak attack from behind—*
*He came to steal!*
*He came to deceive!*
*—and stabbed me using despicable methods, this old man would have won long ago.*
*But it doesn't matter.*
*This old man also had a backup plan. Overall, I was the winner.*
*Because that Hashirama guy is dead!*
*Afterward, I lived anonymously in the shadows because I needed to implement the Moon's Eye Plan.*
*The plan that Hashirama rejected.*
*I need to prove it to him.*
*Not to prove how amazing I am.*
*But to tell him personally that back then—*
*He was wrong!*
However, a small problem has now arisen in the grand scheme.
This old man's eyes—or rather, that Uzumaki brat who holds them—has been taken away to a secure location.
But it's not a big deal. This old man can handle it