Only Captain America felt this way.
His mood plummeted again.
No.
Big Brother on the screen—what have I done to offend you?Why are you playing with me like this?
Miss Carter just kissed me!And now… this.I might actually die.(っ╥╯﹏╰╥c)
Miss Carter's hand quietly rested on Steve's waist.She was about to twist it.
Steve, who had already endured enough suffering, quickly pressed her small hand down.
Steve: "Wait, Miss Carter, there must be some misunderstanding!"
Miss Carter frowned at him.
Carter: "Misunderstanding?Steve! I actually believed your lies!When the first video played, you told me you would never cheat!But in the video… you kissed that blonde b***h in public!Tell me the truth! What gossip is this? Say it, and I'll spare you!!!"
Seeing Miss Carter transform from gentle to a ready-to-pounce tigress, Steve couldn't help but sigh.Women are terrifying creatures.
He wiped the cold sweat off his forehead.His mind raced.Steve felt like his brain was about to catch fire.
At this moment, he could only rely on intuition.No matter what he said, it would be wrong.But… he had to say something.
Finally, an idea flashed through his mind.He knew what to say.
Steve: "Wait, Miss Carter.See, the video of me kissing that blonde… uh, the blonde lady, is from the future.Doesn't that mean the gossip about me on the screen also reflects my future?So… let's wait and see what happens.I promise there will never be gossip like this about me again!!!"
Steve's eyes shone brightly.Sincerity radiated from him.
Miss Carter slowly withdrew the hand that had been about to twist his waist.She paused for a moment.It seemed… Steve might have a point.After all, the gossip about Captain America hadn't happened yet.
Time-travel gossip… chasing it across eras seemed unreasonable.It was true, but she didn't want Steve to see her suddenly calm down.
So Miss Carter still wore a face of anger.
Carter: "Steve Rogers, let's see what the video says first—(dragged tone)."
With his clever words, Steve had successfully persuaded Miss Carter.He breathed a sigh of relief.Hopefully… the next "Big Brother" on the screen wouldn't reveal too many explosive details about him…
Meanwhile, heroes from different timelines were also very interested in what was happening.After all, curiosity is human nature.If possible, everyone wants to enjoy the "watermelon patch"—sweet gossip every day.
Stark Tower.
Tony called J.A.R.V.I.S.
Tony: "J.A.R.V.I.S., record the next video!After it's done, I'll watch it over and over again!!!"
He poured himself a cocktail, sank into the sofa, ready to watch.
Tony had complex feelings toward Captain America.Though Steve had shown genius-like abilities as a child, Howard was never fully satisfied.He often said to Tony:
"You're worse than Captain America."
Tony had long resented Steve.Wasn't he just a soldier? Just an experimental product?What was so great about him?
He hated him as a child.But after seeing Steve in the Battle of New York, he recognized the light of humanity in him.
Still, Tony had deep-seated resentment.His view of Steve wouldn't change overnight.
Now, Tony's feelings toward Steve were a mix of admiration and…like having a bothersome but highly capable older neighbor.Though the neighbor is kind, there's still some awkwardness.
Now, the screen was about to show gossip about Captain America.Tony knew the meaning of "gossip."It usually highlighted the protagonist's embarrassing moments.
Seeing Captain America's gossip was like finally grabbing the neighbor boy by the collar.How could that not excite Tony?
He was in a great mood, even brought a bucket of popcorn.Pepper resignedly followed him, secretly grabbed another bucket, and sat next to him.She was ready to watch too.After all, women are far more enthusiastic about gossip than men.And this… was gossip about Captain America.A huge watermelon!Pepper Potts would not miss this.
Shield.
Director Nick Fury, the "hard-boiled egg," saw the upcoming video and was about to speak.Then he heard Hawkeye and Black Widow behind him:
Hawkeye & Widow: "Director, what are you doing? Sit down and watch with us."
The "black egg" turned around, squinting.Wow… I didn't even know the exact time.
The two had brought beer, fried chicken, and fries, and swapped the stiff chairs for soft sofas.
Fury widened his eyes in disbelief.
Fury: "When… when did you two do this!???"
Black Widow took a piece of fried chicken.
Widow (munching): "Director, don't talk (munch munch), come look (munch munch)."
Hawkeye grabbed a piece too.
Hawkeye: "Yes (munch munch), Director (munch munch). If you don't want to watch, don't block the screen (munch munch)."
Fury: "Oh… fine, I'm coming."
He didn't care about the small details.He sat next to them, eating fries and drinking beer while watching.
On the screen:
First GossipAnd the most important news:
Captain America is no longer a virgin!!!And his first partner was NOT Agent Carter!!!
Pfft!Pfft!Pfft!
Hawkeye, Black Widow, and Fury all spit out their aged wine.
Hawkeye: "What… what!???"Fury: "Bro, I love this screen! Was it always this big?"Widow: "Oh my god, Captain America's first time wasn't with Carter!???"
All three shouted in unison: Amazing!They had expected the gossip to be juicy—but not THIS explosive.
Black Widow, holding fried chicken, giggled.She knew… today she was definitely getting a big "watermelon" of gossip!!!
Back at the camp:
Miss Carter's face darkened.Steve's expression changed drastically.Howard beamed with joy and excitement.
As expected, human emotions were unpredictable.
Howard clapped Steve on the shoulder:
Howard: "My God, that's amazing, brother!You gave me a huge surprise!Tell me, when weren't you a virgin?!"
Miss Carter echoed:
Carter: "Yeah, Steve (dragged tone), I want to know when you weren't a virgin either.I'm really curious (dragged tone)."
Though both expressed curiosity, their attitude was hot and cold.Completely opposite.
Steve was sweating profusely.
Steve (thinking): Big Brother on the screen!You promised to only show future gossip!How did this happen!!!
Stammering, Steve said:
Steve: "Look… look at the video, I won't explain…"
Explain? What's left to explain?Steve just wanted to get out of this mess.Turn around, pretend to leave…
Suddenly, Miss Carter grabbed him.
Carter: "Steve, where do you think you're going? Don't leave, sit and watch with us."
Steve knew the situation was bad.It's over!
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