I woke up in a dank, cold room. I'm surrounded by every other student in my class still asleep. I step over each one to exit the room. I walk down the hollow hall.
I entered the dojo with every weapon you could think of brandished on the wall. I took a katana off of the wall before I noticed someone else in the dojo with me. He was around my height with brown hair and brown eyes.
"I want a rematch," he said.
It came back to me who this was. Yesterday we were sparring and this boy was beating everyone. He started getting cocky so I wanted to humble him by challenging him in front of the whole class. I beat him with ease, but unlike anyone I've beaten before he had this look of despair. Now I find him training by himself in the middle of the night for a rematch I was not privy to.
"Sure," I said with a shrug.
He charged me immediately as he did in our first fight. There was no patience in his fighting style, only aggression and the want to kill. What was odd was his change in demeanor between duels. In the first he fought as if he was untouchable, like he couldn't be stopped. As I started winning the duel it seemed as if his only purpose in life was being ripped away. It felt like I was slowly destroying this delusional world he had built around himself. He fell to the ground after being defeated, but the way he looked up at me, the pure hatred. It scared me.
He fought now with that same hatred; his weakness was his unbridled rage. Our swords clashed, but from the start he had already lost.
When I jolted awake, the thought of his face haunted me once again. It felt like I was back in that moment, killing his dream in front of his eyes. I washed my face off and grounded myself back in reality.
The mistake I made can never happen again. I walked over to the training area and focused on improving my footwork. I decided, I have to be perfect so this will never happen again.
"I know you're busy, but I was wondering if you want to go on a run with Nathan and I?" John said.
I jolted out of my focused state, I took a minute to gather my thoughts.
"Uh, yeah, give me a minute and I'll go," I mumbled.
"Damn, you were really going at it. Just meet us outside when you're ready, we'll be waiting for you."
I quickly took a shower and got dressed out of excitement to spend some more time with my boys. When I walked outside Nathan and John stopped talking to look towards me.
"Killer, your determination is making me want to get after it. Good stuff," Nathan said kindly.
"Thanks, how about we start?" I asked.
His compliment made me very uncomfortable. I had no idea how to respond to something that kind.
We started the run and I was trying to push the pace. Nathan kept up, but John was falling out again. John caught back up with a newfound determination.
"Killer and Nathan, do you kill every criminal you run into?" he choked up barely getting his words out.
"Do you not kill?" I asked.
"No, I use two escrima sticks to incapacitate, but not to kill. I think you guys should really try not to kill. I think everyone in this world deserves to live and their fate should be put in the hands of the justice system. Not put in our hands."
Nathan and I looked at each other as John started to fall back out.
"I mean, I've never really thought about it past survival," Nathan said.
I went silent as I came to the conclusion that they both will judge me if I'm honest with them. Nathan and I finished our run lost in our own thoughts, but for different reasons.
When I entered the facility, I made my decision. Maybe if I stop killing, I'd finally be someone worth caring about. I wanted to feel loved.
A few days later I woke up in the middle of the night. I went to go to the bathroom before I witnessed Victor come crashing through the door. He rushed over to me as I stared at him confused.
"Killer, get John you're both going immediately to an apartment complex nearby. There are armed gang members causing a disturbance there. This is your chance to redeem yourself," Victor said out of breath.
I got John up and we sprinted to the complex hopping from rooftop to rooftop. John unsheathed his escrima sticks, and I wrapped my hands in muay thai ropes as we approached the complex.
"You ready, Killer? I'm glad you've decided not to kill anymore, it says a lot about your character."
"John, you are an amazing friend. You inspired me to change for the better. I will have your back no matter what."
"You are the reason you're changing for the better my brother. Before I left Victor briefed me and said the gang members were harassing people from floor one to five while being armed with guns. To save as many people as possible I will start clearing the complex out from the bottom and you start from the top, got it?"
I nodded before we split paths. I noticed a ladder leading to the top floor of the complex, so I sprinted towards it.
I grabbed the top rung of the ladder and vaulted over the half wall. I landed in the exterior corridor of the complex. Two men with pistols aimed at a scared kid with brown hair. The kid backed up, locking his eyes with mine. I sprinted towards him before the gang members pulled their triggers. Time slowed and the sound of the gunshots echoed throughout the complex.
The kid laid lifeless on his stomach as the men fixed their pistols on me. I lunged left, then right, and charged the closest one. This man was much smaller than the one I encountered in the basement. His hand was shaking as I took control of the pistol in his hand with my left. I yanked the pistol toward me, setting him off balance. My right elbow crashed into his cheek. The pistol eased out of his hands. One more stood in front of me. I threw the pistol. The weight of it left my hand. The sound cracked his skull.
I lunged towards him as he stumbled backwards from the pistol hitting his face. I grabbed his gun with my left as I relentlessly punched wherever he wasn't blocking. I stopped once his grip left the gun in my hands only.
I looked at the other man as he rose back up with his legs shaking. I sent a side kick into his liver as he raised both hands to surrender, making him fall right back down to the ground.
My ropes dripped with blood, but this time I hadn't killed anyone. It felt good knowing I was getting closer to John and Nathan by not killing. It's not that big of a sacrifice since I feel indifferent towards killing.
I glanced back at the lifeless kid to find him gone. In front of me he stood with his eyes piercing into mine as he plunged a knife deep into my stomach. At that moment I realized who the kid was because of that look. That hatred.
His torso was soaked in blood. The gunshots were targeted towards non-lethal areas of his body. I groaned as he forced the knife deeper.
I couldn't believe my eyes, I thought this kid was dead. Why is he here now? I grabbed both of his shoulders and headbutted him with the little amount of strength I had left. He stumbled backwards and started to laugh.
"We're both dying Killer, and your only instinct is to kill. And my only instinct is to kill you," he yelled manically.
I had to use all of my strength to breathe properly. Where he plunged the knife was on fire. He rubbed his forehead and looked at the blood on his hand. He slowly got back to his feet as we stared intently at each other. It was all I could do, my will to fight was gone. His eyes stung into mine with that same hatred I saw many years ago.
"Killer, I will kill you. It is my only reason for living, for pushing myself. I fucking hate you, and while I'm training to kill you I find you playing superhero. After everything? You don't kill anymore?" he struggled to finish as he tried to hold pressure on his wounds. "I would love to see what the horde of people you've killed would think about that. You're worthless. When I kill you, no one will remember who you were — or forgive you for what you've done."
A twisted smile spread across his face.
"Since you want to larp and roleplay, you'll need a villain, right? So call me Lifesaver," he yelled while backing away. "This no kill bullshit won't last for long because I promise you, when we meet again, either you die or I die. And if you don't kill me I will never stop coming for you until one of us goes."
I fell to my knees and curled up. I felt defeated. I finally try to become something more than a mindless murderer, and this happens. He quietly left my view before someone approached me from behind. I felt hands grab me, and I looked up to see Chris. He looked so scared and worried for me.
Maybe this is what I get for trying to change too late.
"Oh no, no no no. Don't worry Killer I'll get you help, you'll be fine I'm here for you man just stay awake," he said with his voice shaking.
He got under my shoulder and lifted me. I groaned as the pain spread throughout my whole body. It burned all over and walking made it so much worse. Chris tried to make me as comfortable as he could while walking me.
When we went down the flights of stairs I witnessed multiple unconscious bodies scattered around John as we approached him. John stands over one of them beating him into the ground. John turns back and looks at me in horror. His eyes locked onto the knife laying dormant in my stomach.
"You're going to be fine, Killer. We'll save you," John said as he ran over to me and got under my other arm.
They hurried me to the ground floor where Victor was waiting by his car. He opened the door for me before John and Chris carefully put me in the backseat. Victor shut the car door and told Chris and John something before they ran off.
He hastily got into the driver's seat before driving us back to the facility in a jagged route. I rolled over groaning constantly; I couldn't deal with the pain as my eyes slowly shut.