Chapter 28: The Harem War
The Forbidden Villa on Dragon's Cliff had survived centuries of harsh winds, chaotic mana storms, and the haunting of a Void Beast Remnant.
It survived my cooking experiments. It survived Anya playing tag with fireballs.
But I wasn't sure it would survive Lady Seraphina.
It had been three hours since the "reunion" in the plaza. In that time, Seraphina—formerly Lilith, the Demon Queen—had moved into Villa Number 1 with the subtlety of a hurricane.
"Ugly," Seraphina declared, standing in the living room. She pointed at the couch I had bought from the Black Market. "Burn it."
"That's high-grade Spirit Silk," I protested from the kitchen, where I was hiding/making tea.
"It's peasant trash," Seraphina countered. She waved her hand.
Flash.
The couch vanished into a dark dimension. In its place appeared a massive, gothic chaise lounge made of Midnight Velvet and Dragon Bone. It radiated an aura of pure luxury and darkness.
"Better," she sniffed, sitting down and crossing her legs. "A Queen cannot sit on hay."
Ria stood in the corner, holding a feather duster like a weapon. Her silver eyes were twitching—a sign that her logic processors were overheating.
"Master," Ria's voice was icy. "The intruder has replaced 40% of the furniture with unauthorized demonic artifacts. The feng shui is compromised. Also, she insulted my cleaning."
"I didn't insult it," Seraphina smirked, looking at Ria with violet eyes full of rivalry. "I merely stated that a machine cannot clean with soul. You missed a spot of dust on the mantle. Typical of a Construct."
Ria's grip on the duster tightened until the handle snapped.
"I am not a machine. I am a Divine Spirit Artifact. And that 'dust' is a microscopic structural imperfection in the stone, which you would know if your eyes weren't blinded by vanity."
Sparks flew between them. Literal sparks. Silver lightning vs. Violet demonic mana.
I sighed, pouring three cups of tea.
"Ladies, please. The villa has enough structural issues without you two turning it into a battlefield."
I walked into the living room and placed the tea on the new Dragon Bone table.
"Seraphina," I said. "This is Ria. She is Antakala. You remember her?"
Seraphina's expression softened slightly as she looked at Ria. She swirled her tea.
"I remember," she whispered. "The sword that never broke. The silent shadow that followed you everywhere."
She looked at Ria. "You were with him when he died the 9th time, weren't you? After I... left?"
Ria nodded stiffly. "I held his soul until the reincarnation cycle took him. I was the last thing he saw."
"Lucky metal," Seraphina muttered, taking a sip of tea. Then she grimaced. "This tea is weak. Where is the Blood-Nectar? Where is the Soul-Wine?"
"We are in a Low-Level World, Seraphina," I reminded her, sitting beside her. "We drink Oolong here."
Seraphina leaned her head on my shoulder, her demeanor shifting instantly from imperious queen to clingy wife.
"I don't care about the tea," she purred. "As long as I'm with you. Do you know how boring the Aethelgard Clan is? They wanted me to marry the Crown Prince of the Middle World! He wears pink! Can you believe it?"
"Pink is a bold choice," I mused.
"He wouldn't last five seconds against you," she said, tracing a finger on my chest. "Nobody compares to my Demon Paragon."
Ria loudly cleared her throat. "Master, dinner preparations are delayed. The new resident has filled the refrigerator with... questionable items."
"Questionable?" Seraphina scoffed. "Those are Abyssal Tentacles! They are a delicacy!"
"They are moving," Ria stated flatly. "And they tried to eat the Young Miss."
I stood up. "Okay, kitchen inspection. Now."
The Kitchen War.
We walked into the kitchen. Anya was sitting on top of the refrigerator, holding a broom, looking terrified.
"Big Brother!" Anya cried. "The calamari is fighting back!"
On the counter, a pile of purple, slimy tentacles (which Seraphina had brought from her spatial ring) were writhing around. One of them was holding a knife.
"See?" Ria pointed. "Health code violation."
"They are fresh!" Seraphina defended. "You just have to stun them with Killing Intent before you cook them!"
I grabbed the knife-wielding tentacle and squeezed.
Squelch.
It went limp.
"Okay," I said. "No live food in the house. Anya is still in training; we don't need her food eating her."
I tossed the tentacles into the disposal.
"Tonight, we eat normal food. Spirit Beef Stew. I cook. You two... set the table."
"I will help you cook, Darling!" Seraphina rolled up her silk sleeves. "I took a cooking class in the Middle World to prepare for our reunion!"
"I am the Head Maid," Ria stepped forward, blocking her path. "Food preparation is my jurisdiction. Your presence increases the risk of accidental poisoning by 80%."
"Move, metal girl," Seraphina hissed, her eyes glowing. "I want to chop the vegetables."
"You will chop the counter," Ria countered.
"Anya!" I shouted.
Anya looked down from the fridge. "Yes?"
"You are the judge," I said. "Who sets the table better?"
Anya looked at Seraphina (who produced a bag of glowing Middle-World Candies from her sleeve).
Then she looked at Ria (who produced a plate of Double-Fried Pork Ribs).
Anya's eyes darted back and forth. The political pressure was immense.
"I choose... both!" Anya declared, grabbing the candy and the ribs. "The table sets itself!"
She used her telekinesis (a new trick she learned) to float the plates onto the table.
"See? Done! Now feed me!"
I laughed. "Smart kid."
We sat down to eat. It was a strange sight.
A Reincarnated Sovereign.
A Robot Sword Spirit.
A Demon Queen in a noble's body.
And a Phoenix Child.
Seraphina spent the entire meal feeding me the choicest cuts of meat, glaring at Ria every time Ria tried to refill my water glass.
"So," Seraphina wiped her mouth gracefully. "About this Tournament. I looked at the roster."
Her expression turned serious. The playful wife was gone; the Demon General was back.
"The Divine Sky Academy—my current 'school'—isn't playing fair. The Envoys brought me here as a distraction, but the real threat is the teams from the other three Low-Level Worlds."
"Who are they?" I asked.
"The Iron-Blood World," Seraphina listed. "A world of constant war. Their team is led by a guy named Grom. He's a body cultivator. Half-Giant blood. He eats rocks for breakfast."
"The Mystic-Fog World," she continued. "Assassins and Illusionists. Their leader is Mist. Nobody has seen her face. She kills with hallucinations."
"And the Beast-Soul World. Shifters. Their leader is Fenrir. He can transform into a Golden Wolf. He tore a Core Formation elder in half last month."
Seraphina looked at me.
"They are all Peak Core Formation. Some are suppressing their cultivation to stay in the Low World. If you fight them with your current level... it will be annoying."
"Annoying is fine," I said, cleaning my bowl. "Deadly is better."
"I can kill them for you," Seraphina offered casually, summoning a ball of dark fire. "I can sneak into their barracks tonight and—"
"No," I stopped her hand. "I need the points. And I need the exercise. Besides, if you kill them, the Arbiters will notice you used Demon Magic."
"Fine," she pouted. "But if they touch you, I'm turning them into decorative rugs."
The Bedtime Crisis.
Night fell.
The villa was quiet. Anya was asleep in her room, hugging a plushie Seraphina had conjured for her.
Now came the real problem.
The Master Bedroom.
I stood at the door.
"Okay," I said. "I'm going to sleep."
"Goodnight, Darling," Seraphina smiled, walking right into my room. "Which side of the bed do you prefer? I like the left."
"Halt," Ria stepped in front of the door. "Protocol dictates the Master sleeps alone to maintain cultivation focus. Guests sleep in the guest wing."
"I am not a guest," Seraphina hissed. "I am his wife."
"Second wife," Ria corrected. "Historically, the Sword Spirit has proximity priority."
"You are a sword!" Seraphina shouted, losing her temper. "You belong in a scabbard, not a bed!"
"I am currently in a biological chassis," Ria argued calmly. "Therefore, I require a recharge cycle. The Master's proximity improves my mana efficiency."
"You just want to snuggle him!"
"I do not snuggle. I optimize."
I looked at the two most powerful women in the multiverse arguing over who got to be my pillow.
My head hurt.
"Out," I pointed to the hall. "Both of you."
"But—"
"Out!" I channeled a bit of the Beast Monarch. "I need to meditate. Seraphina, take the guest room next door. Ria, guard the hallway. If I hear one noise, I'm sleeping in the Ouroboros Ring with the turtle."
They both froze.
Seraphina huffed. "Fine. But I'm leaving my door unlocked."
Ria bowed. "Understood. Initiating silent patrol mode."
They retreated.
I locked the door and collapsed onto the bed.
"Peace," I whispered.
The Bracket Announcement.
The next morning, a golden scroll appeared in the sky above the Academy.
The Envoys had released the Tournament Brackets.
We gathered on the balcony to watch.
[Group A: Iron-Blood World vs. Beast-Soul World]
[Group B: Mystic-Fog World vs. Aerthos World (Stellaris Academy)]
"Group B," Seraphina analyzed, sipping coffee. "Mystic-Fog. That's tricky. They use mental attacks. Illusions."
"Illusions?" I smiled. "I have the Eye of Truth. Illusions are just bad movies to me."
"The match is in three days," Ria noted. "The format is Capture the Flag. The arena will be a randomized biome."
I looked at my team.
Seraphina (The powerhouse who couldn't fight officially or she'd be exposed).
Anya (The artillery who needed to be protected).
Ria (The perfect soldier).
And Valerian/Lyra/Kael (The baggage).
"We need to train the baggage," I decided.
"Train them?" Seraphina laughed. "Why bother? Just use them as bait."
"Because," I looked at the scroll. "The Mystic-Fog team doesn't just kill. They break minds. If Valerian and the others break, we lose due to disqualification."
I stood up.
"Ria, wake up the Prince. Tell him his vacation is over. We're going to the Dungeon. Level 50."
"Level 50?" Seraphina raised an eyebrow. "That's high for them."
"I'm not training their bodies," I said, my eyes turning silver. "I'm training their minds. I'm going to show them what real fear looks like so the illusions won't work."
I turned to Seraphina.
"And you, my dear Demon Queen... you're going to be the Boss Monster."
Seraphina's eyes lit up with sadistic delight.
"Oh? I get to traumatize the Prince? Darling, you know exactly what to get me for our anniversary."