"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's Conan Show! I'm your announcer, Bartiel Toos, and let's give a warm welcome to our host, Conan O'Brien!"
In the studio, as a high-pitched baritone voice echoed in the darkness, the lights instantly brightened, and the band began to play.
Conan O'Brien, with his small golden hair, ran out from backstage.
After twisting and turning, and striking a few flamboyant poses, Conan jumped with the drumbeat, spreading his arms to greet the audience.
"I know you're not here for my new haircut, so let's welcome tonight's main character: the most terrifying, most horrifying, and most verbose Megatron!"
Clap clap clap clap
kukukukiki
Amidst applause and cheers, Megatron was invited onto the stage.
Thanks to the early promotion of transformers, "Buy a Bed" (Megatron) had already accumulated a large following.
MGM even created a dedicated Facebook account for him, which gained over a million followers in just over a month, surpassing many celebrities.
To promote the movie, the transformers crew specifically came to participate in The Conan Show, which has been very popular in recent years.
Eric and Conan had met at the Emmy Awards, where Conan was one of the hosts, and Eric had a good impression of him.
As someone in the industry, Eric had also watched this show before his transmigration.
He first learned about this talk show through Dapeng.
At that time, Dapeng hadn't become famous with "Di Si Nan Shi" (even though "Di Si Nan Shi" was a rip-off of "Di Si Nv Shi").
The show he hosted then was "Dapeng De Ba De," and the show blatantly plagiarized the opening of The Conan Show, leading to public humiliation.
This incident caused some stir at the time, making Dapeng somewhat infamously popular, and also led Eric to watch The Conan Show for a period.
"Before the show officially begins, please allow me to say something.
I received news that a soldier who served in Afghanistan lost his 'dandan' in the war."
"Fortunately, someone donated his 'dandan' for a transplant, and that person is currently sitting in the audience."
As Conan spoke, the camera panned to a man with wise eyes.
Several women sitting nearby secretly peeked at his crotch.
Although they knew it was a joke, seeing the bandaged crotch, they couldn't help but cover their mouths and snicker.
"Sir, first of all, thank you for your spirit of sacrifice, but I truly don't understand.
After all, as a man, such a sacrifice seems a bit too great."
"I've heard of Santa Claus, but you really left yourself no way out."
The wise man proudly said, "It's nothing; if he needed it, I cut it off and gave it to him.
Anyway, it'll grow back in a while."
"What!" Conan looked at him in surprise.
"Why… why would you think that?"
"It told me," the wise man pointed to Megatron.
Conan looked at "Buy a Bed" (Megatron) again in surprise.
Megatron crossed his arms and shook his head slightly: "Sorry, I was a bit busy yesterday so I didn't hear clearly."
"Uh, at the time I thought you said 'cock.' If you lose a chicken, of course you can buy or raise another one, but I didn't realize you meant 'dick'."
"You really should express yourself clearly, or let Ratchet help out.
Perhaps he can install an electric one for you."
"You know, the Cybertron special edition."
Hahahahaha
Amidst the audience's laughter, the man's wise eyes looked up at the ceiling, making him appear even more comical.
At this moment, the camera again showed a female audience member, who was looking at Megatron's lower half with great interest.
"Oh my god! Don't tell me you're interested in the Cybertron special edition, madam."
"Why not?"
Hahahahaha… Conan clapped his hands: "Alright, alright, that's enough of the jokes.
Let's give a warm round of applause to invite the transformers crew to the stage."
Eric, Gadot, and Chris Evans walked out from backstage and sat on the sofa.
This was Eric's first time appearing on a variety talk show.
Generally speaking, he preferred to stay behind the scenes and show his face as little as possible.
Fame wasn't important to him; if he became too famous, he'd be secretly photographed and pointed at every time he went out, unable to enjoy himself with girls.
However, to promote the movie, he had no choice but to appear.
Thinking about how even Dong Wang and Obama had been on shows, he was nothing compared to them.
"You know what? Right now, you are the hottest stars in the United States.
Everyone is going crazy discussing you."
Chris Evans shrugged: "Gadot is, I'm not.
My Facebook followers aren't even as many as Megatron's."
"Because all Earth technology originates from me.
I can be as high as I want.
Didn't you watch the movie?"
"I did, but I didn't pay attention to that detail.
My attention was always focused on Gadot's legs."
Eric feigned surprise, looking at him: "As the male lead, you didn't even watch your own movie carefully.
It seems the sequel should have a new lead."
"Whatever, everyone says Ryan Reynolds is the male lead anyway."
Hahahahaha
In just a few words, Chris Evans voiced many of the recent fan jokes, immediately eliciting laughter.
He continued, "I'm not even as good as Gadot; she's much better at fighting than I am."
Conan looked at Eric: "Director, your taste seems to be lacking; the male lead is a bit disobedient."
"It's alright, he just wants more action scenes, to appear stronger.
It won't be long; the next movie will satisfy him, just don't cry out in pain then."
"Of course, the more the merrier."
Eric smiled, "You'll see.
When captain america starts filming next year, just wait to go shirtless."
"Gadot, your female lead is truly a constant highlight.
Hoo-hoo-ha-hey, have you really studied Chinese kung fu?"
Gadot waved her hand: "Not at all.
I just followed Eric's instructions, exercising daily to make myself appear both beautiful and strong."
Conan pouted and leaned back defensively: "It seems so.
Your biceps are bigger than mine.
It looks like one punch could knock me out."
Hahahahaha
"I noticed in the final Las Vegas battle, you drove Bumblebee, performing highly difficult car stunts.
Did you use a stunt double?"
"No, I did it myself.
If you don't believe me, ask them."
"Then you must have gotten many injuries, drifting, tail-whips, sudden braking—that's not easy."
"Yes, scrapes, sprains, ankle bones, arms, back—injuries are common.
Every time I finish filming such scenes, I have to relax properly."
"Massage?"
"And spa.
But a strange thing happened once.
I went to a spa, a newly opened spa."
"The attendant led me in and said, 'This is the public bath, and this is the changing room.
You can take off your clothes and soak.'"
"I was a bit surprised at the time and asked him, 'Do I need to change into underwear?'"
"Then he told me no.
I thought he would say you could wear a bathrobe or something, but he said you had to be completely naked, and then I stared at him with wide eyes."
Conan said with interest: "Perhaps he only said that to you.
What a clever young man.
He should come work for me."
Hahahahaha
With the situation looking very promising, transformers launched an intensive promotional campaign, appearing on The Conan Show, the ellen show, and Jimmy Kimmel Live.
As for The Oprah Winfrey Show, Eric disliked that fat black woman; her character was even worse.
Even if she personally invited them, he forbade the crew from going.
On November 23rd, the first-week box office results for transformers were released.
Countless people, countless eyes, were fixed on it until the data was announced.
A box office of $880 million still dazzled everyone.
Without accounting for inflation, purely in terms of numbers, $880 million had already broken the North America first-week box office record.
The original number one was spider-man, and Peter Parker was once again kicked off the throne.
The second-place harry potter and the chamber of secrets could only move down a spot.
the matrix reloaded, which had only sat on the third-place spot for half a year, also had to obediently give way, returning the bronze medal.
This figure had genuinely exceeded Eric's expectations; he had originally predicted that the first-week box office reaching $700 million would be satisfying.
Analysts from BOX and other agencies had predicted a first-week box office of $550 million, even more conservative than Eric's forecast.
What was unexpected was that the Autobots and Decepticons were too powerful, and with the three-day weekend, students and office workers had ample time to relax.
With accumulated word-of-mouth, these people immediately rushed into movie theaters.
Among them, Friday's box office was the strangest, actually exceeding Thursday's by over $2 million.
The decline in Saturday and Sunday's box office also slowed significantly, maintaining at roughly within 15% per day.
This unique situation also caused transformers' box office curve to strangely surge to a small peak again on Friday.
According to surveys, the viewing demographic also showed a clear difference from typical blockbusters.
Students and teenagers were naturally still the main force, but the viewing group aged 35 and above surprisingly reached nearly 40% of the total, far exceeding the typical blockbuster's approximately 30%.
Having discovered a new business opportunity, MGM's team immediately expanded its promotional tactics.
They hired ghostwriters and online trolls to create buzz on the internet and in the media.
The focus of the promotion was to watch transformers and relive cherished childhood memories, vowing to draw another wave of middle-aged people into cinemas.
As for transformers' competitors, there was naturally a widespread wailing, with lamentations across various film and television companies.
Leading the charge was Miramax's eight below, which premiered three days before transformers, enjoying perfect timing but only earning $25 million at the box office.
On the fourth day, it faced the impact of the Autobots, and its performance was even more dismal, only raking in over $2 million at the box office in a single day.
Now, 10 days after its release, its performance barely reached $32 million, and even on Sunday, its single-day gross dropped below a million.
Russell Crowe, Peter Weir, Oscar Best Director, and Best Actor—none of it worked.
Compared to its high cost of $500 million, it was foreseeable that it would suffer significant losses.
When the media interviewed Harvey Weinstein, he said nothing, leaving with a dark expression.
It is said that all scheduled promotions were canceled.
With this level of quality, how could they even promote it? To promote how bad they were?
Now Miramax could only pin its hopes on the overseas market.
Perhaps the naval battle theme might do well in regions like Spain, the United Kingdom, and Southeast Asia.
If it still fails, windtalkers will be its fate.
eight below was swept into the dustbin, and other films were just as badly off.
the matrix 3's third-week box office was also squeezed, only taking in $14 million, with its current North America box office at $110 million.
Compared to the matrix reloaded in the summer, it was significantly inferior.
As many media and moviegoers commented, watching two the matrix films in one year caused some aesthetic fatigue.
Warner Bros. was too eager to make money; at the very least, it should have been like the lord of the rings, with one film per year being the limit, giving the market some time to recover.
Indeed, some die-hard fans were eagerly awaiting, wishing they could watch all three films at once.
But the endurance of ordinary audiences must also be considered.
When several equally exciting blockbusters are presented, will they choose films that are somewhat homogeneous, or those that feel fresher?
The answer is hard to say.
Eric felt that harry potter handled this aspect very well, maintaining a pace of one film per year or every two years all the way up to Deathly Hallows.
Not too fast, not too slow, keeping the audience's appetite whetted so the company could make big money.
Even though the matrix 3 was already doing quite poorly, it still held the second position in the weekly box office.
elf, in third place, was not just cut in half; compared to its $33 million box office last week, it only had $13 million this week.
People seemed to have been ignited by transformers, suddenly losing interest in films primarily focused on warmth and gentleness.
And Disney's big production, the haunted mansion, had a box office of less than $5 million, and it was uncertain if it would even reach $3 million next week.
As for the remaining small fry, it's not worth mentioning them.
Is the market miserable?
Of course it's miserable; except for transformers, all other movies are practically in tears, with many crews only able to humbly beg for help.
But if the audience doesn't like it, no amount of begging or playing the victim will help.
However, if you ask if the market is good?
It's also very good.
Because compared to the same period last year, the total box office performance increased by 11%, showing a clear upward trend—a very good sign, it's just that most of the benefits went into MGM's pockets.
Besides MGM, a portion naturally went to the cinema chains.
So, the cinemas that scheduled transformers were also very happy; they could earn significantly more money than last year, practically wanting to call Eric to thank him.
And cinema owners who overlooked transformers could only beat their chests in regret; it was too late to change anything.
Contracts were signed in advance; for at least a month, you could only show those specific movies.
Even if eight below only had one audience member per screening, the cinema still had to show it.
Even if there were no audience members, you couldn't show other movies.
Because major film and television companies all had investigators who would pretend to be audience members and randomly check cinemas.
Once violations were found, the film and television company had the right to sue, and the cinema would be left to pay damages.
If such a situation occurred, Miramax would certainly be very happy.
Because the compensation money could always make up for a portion of the box office losses.
However, even if the first month was missed, getting some scraps would still be good.
Even if there's no soup, washing the bowls is fine.
If there are no bowls left, at least let me smell it.
So, many cinema owners who missed out on transformers rushed to request film sources, hoping to earn a little something to make up for the losses caused by eight below.
Under a powerful publicity blitz, the date arrived at November 27th.
After another four days of screening, transformers once again raked in nearly $60 million at the box office, bringing its total to nearly $500 million in eleven days, still crushing all other films.
And on this very day, Miramax's long-promoted major film for November, kill bill, was released.
Media predicted that kill bill would take over from eight below and engage in a true dragon-tiger battle with transformers, using a samurai sword to chop off the head of the Autobots, now in its second week.
Movie fans and major companies were all watching, and cinema owners also hoped to further heat up the market.
But would it really be as they expected?