Jay's POV
I was happy this morning when I woke up, probably because it was Friday and almost weekend but that wasn't the reason, it was maybe because I had plans with Keifer this evening, I really liked our hangouts where we can truly ourselves.
I went to classes as usual and after the classes ended Keifer came rushing to me and started speaking
K:"Jay, don't forget 5:30 our place" he said in a rush
J:"Okay, done but where are you rushing, come lets have lunch"
K:"I wish I could but I have some work. I will see you in eve. Don't forget"
I just nodded and went to have lunch with my friends. After lunch we went back to our dorm since we did not have classes and I wanted to rest a bit before going out. I took a shower at 4 and came back and started to get ready, I thought I should do my make up first before putting on the outfit, I did my usual light make up while humming my favourite song. I don't know why but I am excited about this evening and started to choose the outfit, I tried on 3 outfits but couldn't decide.
That is when I received a phone call from my father, which was weird he never really calls, I picked up the call.
Jay's Dad: " Come home immediately!" He said in a high pitched tone and cut the call. That's all no how are you? Is everything alright?
Just say what is needed to be said. I know I have leave immediately otherwise I have to face their wrath. So I quickly packed the essentials for the weekend and was about to leave and that is when I realised that I did not inform Keifer about the change in plans. I tried calling him but it was switched off, I texted him but as far as I know him, he will keep waiting until I show up. So I quickly asked Sara for a favour to inform Keifer about the change in plans.
I left for my parents home even though I did not want to, anxiety filled in me because I am returning to the place that gave me panic attacks but I have to because there is a reason they have called, otherwise they wouldn't give a damn about me.
I finally reached the place but I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do and what I was expected to do, I was welcomed by the cold feeling of being the reminder of their unhappy life.
I saw my dad sitting in the couch and he just gave me a nod and said, " It's time for dinner, let's eat"
I nodded and went to my room to freshen up and returned and the silence echoed in my ears, and I sat with and they started speaking
Dad: " So how's University treating you?"
I nodded and said okay
Mom: " That's all?" that's when my dad chimed in
Dad: " Have you ever thought to check in with us, at least make a phone call and ask if everything is fine here" he asked in a authorative tone
I was tongue tied, what was I supposed to answer was I supposed to say to the people who didn't even care enough to drop me at the university. Was I supposed say that I am getting lesser panic attacks because I was away from them.
So I did what I do to escape from them, I stayed silent and stared in the blank as if it would help. But I didn't, they continued eating and all I could hear is the sound of cutlery and the uncomfortable silence but I know this isn't over, it has just started and I had 2 more days to spend with them and I feared that thought.
The next day I woke up to the sound of utensils scattering and parents yelling at each other, it wasn't new to me but I still jerked at that noise.
I went down only to see my mother throwing everything angrily and father leaving and this was the sight that I was used too but still it made me anxious and this one of the reason I stayed away from people. I don't know how to communicate my feelings because I have never been able to express mine. And being here only reminds me of that.
I did not eat anything that day until I was called for dinner, I denied but my father said, " You can showcase your attitude somewhere else, this is my house and you will behave as I say" and tears started flowing as he said that so I went and sat in the dinning hall because If I didn't I know the consequences.
Dad: "How are studies going?"
Jay: "good"
Dad: "Make sure you are not wasting my money there"
I just nodded my head because no matter what at the the end of the day they make sure to make me feel like a burden that they never wanted to have. I just have to survive one more day and I can leave this place.
I wanted to talk to someone and I knew exactly who I wanted to talk to, it was Keifer but I couldn't I did not want to pass on my burden to him. That is when I noticed texts from him asking me if I was fine and wanted to talk to him, I just replied I was fine and will return after the weekend.
I started crying thinking about my situation last weekend I was really happy and this weekend all my fears and anxiety is back and I don't know how everything could change all of a sudden.
I remembered how I feared love and realised I should stay from away it and it means I should stay away from Keifer because I know he has feelings for me and maybe I do too but I cannot be selfish enough to pull him into my life and pass my burden to him because he deserves someone who he can be happy and peaceful with not with someone who suffers panic attack when they hear people raising their voices. Also because I can never handle the fact if Keifer starts to think of me as a burden, So it is better if I just stopped it even before it started, this way the pain will be less. The thought of avoiding and pushing him made my tears pour but I have to do this for him.
I just cried myself to sleep.
The next day passed as usual with them screaming at me and it was evening finally time to leave this place but my heart felt heavy because I have to stay away from Keifer, tears fall from my eyes I quickly wipe and started to leave.
Author's Note:
Will Jay be able to avoid Keifer?
How do you think is Keifer going to react?
What is going to happen between JAYFER?
Comments you thoughts as it will motivate and you will get the next chapter sooner.