Chapter 0060 Finding a Phone
I chuckled: "This is not the fake doll sold at the street stall downstairs. This is a consecrated item with spiritual power, created by a master using his magic." Brother Jiang nodded in agreement. He drove past a bank, withdrew some money, and paid me a 2,000 RMB deposit. I texted Frank Fang that he could ship the item.
The goods arrived half a month later. Since the daytime taxi shifts weren't lucrative, Brother Jiang had changed drivers and was now working the night shift. Inside his taxi, I opened the package and placed the Earth Guman Thong on the platform between the dashboard and the windshield. Looking at the statue, Brother Jiang said: "Brother Tian, why do I feel a little scared of this thing?"
"What's there to be afraid of?" I asked.
Brother Jiang replied: "Didn't you say there's a child's ghost soul inside? Although I've never seen a ghost, I always hear people talk about ghost-blocking walls (Gui Da Qiang) and bumping into ghosts at night. I feel a bit nervous."
I laughed: "No need to be afraid. I'm not asking you to go to a cemetery in the middle of the night. This is just an offering item, and the soul inside is bound by magic. As I said before, as long as you make offerings according to the rules, there won't be any problems. See this piece of paper? Go back and read it carefully. First, buy and place the offerings. Then, recite the mantra in front of the Guman Thong three times, preferably late at night. State your wish while reciting. If your wish comes true, you must increase the offerings to the Guman Thong, or it will get angry."
Brother Jiang held the paper, nodding repeatedly as he read, his face full of excitement: "Any wish is fine?"
I said: "Of course not! First, don't be too excessive. Don't immediately wish to be the country's president or find a hundred million dollars. Second, it must not be illegal or immoral, such as protecting you while you successfully rob the pancake stall downstairs, or making the young woman across the hall sleep with you. Those are not good."
Brother Jiang laughed heartily and handed me 2,000 RMB: "Don't worry, Brother Tian, I wouldn't do those things!"
I also laughed and said: "You're probably the first person in all of Shenyang to offer a Guman Thong in a taxi."
A couple of days later, I brought over a dozen amulets to Sun Xicai's amulet shop for delivery. The shop was clean and tidy, equipped with a refrigerator and a washing machine. Only Wang Jiao was home; Sun Xicai was out meeting a client. Wang Jiao was very happy to see me, but there was also a hint of sadness in her eyes.
Sitting on the bed in the back room, I asked Wang Jiao what was wrong. She sighed: "Don't even mention it, big brother. Xicai has truly become a different person lately. He's gotten smarter, and he doesn't conduct business like he used to, always trying to gain small advantages only to suffer a big loss. He's become much more mature."
I said that was a good thing, so why was she sighing? Wang Jiao said: "But he also has a bad side, mainly concerning his health. When he sleeps in the middle of the night, I can always hear him cough. His voice is completely different from his normal speaking voice, like an old man's. He never coughed like that before. Also, his gaze is wrong now. Sometimes, he looks at people with an icy chill, even his classmates say so. In addition, there's that... that aspect..."
Seeing her shy expression, I knew what she meant and asked: "Is his sexual ability declining again?"
Wang Jiao's face flushed: "Big brother, don't laugh at me. It's not a decline; he's completely incapable. He used to be quite normal and would have sex with me six or seven times a week, but now it's only twice a month at most."
I said: "It might be due to stress. He never ran his own shop before. If a man's focus is all on business, his energy might be diverted. You need to be understanding of him."
"That's not it," Wang Jiao said. "He's acting very abnormal now. He often touches me here and there on the street in broad daylight, which makes me extremely embarrassed. He wasn't like this before. At night, he's very proactive, but he always has the will but not the strength. Either he stalls halfway, or he can't even get started. I took him to the hospital for several tests. Guess what the doctor said?"
I shook my head. Wang Jiao said: "The doctor actually said his reproductive function has aged, just like an eighty-year-old man!" I wasn't surprised at all. I thought to myself that if I told her the truth, she would surely go crazy.
After chatting with her for a while longer, I casually lay half-reclining on the bed. Wang Jiao got up to pour me some water. She was wearing a tight white T-shirt today, and her full chest trembled greatly as she walked. I often wondered how girls grew up nowadays. They are so thin, yet their chests are so large. Is it because of too many fertilizers and hormones in food?
When Wang Jiao placed the juice on the small table beside the bed, I suddenly felt a wave of heat and a strong surge of desire. I reached out my right hand and grabbed the fleshy mass on the right side of her chest.
Wang Jiao immediately let out a low cry, backed away two steps, and looked at me with wide eyes, completely surprised. I quickly sat up from the bed, my expression awkward, but I couldn't think of anything to say for a moment. Wang Jiao quickly walked out of the inner room. I dared not follow her out and instead went to the bathroom, splashing cold water on my head to calm myself down.
After wiping my hair dry and leaving the room, I saw that Sun Xicai had returned. I handed him the dozen or so amulets and several Positive Guman Thong statues. He calmly instructed Wang Jiao to register, photograph, record, and pay for the items. His words and actions were very seasoned, truly a world of difference from before. I thought, it must be tough for a man in his twenties to have the ghost of an eighty-one-year-old man inside him.
Sun Xicai asked Wang Jiao to go buy a few bottles of beer. Only the two of us were left in the shop. I wondered how the spirit inside Sun Xicai controlled him—was it constantly, or only occasionally? I subtly observed his eyes, trying to find some clues, but it was almost useless. I couldn't tell whether he was currently being controlled by the spirit or if he was in charge.
Sun Xicai lit a cigarette and smiled, saying: "Brother Tian, your cousin has a great figure, doesn't she?"
My heart skipped a beat: "Are you talking about Jiao Jiao?"
"Who else?" Sun Xicai exhaled two smoke rings. I laughed and said, "Of course. You're a lucky guy."
Sun Xicai's next words made me spray out the mouthful of juice I was drinking: "Then what do you think her chest feels like to the touch?"
I stammered: "Wha-what do you mean?"
Sun Xicai laughed: "You know yourself." My mind raced as I tried to figure out a countermeasure. Just then, Wang Jiao returned with the beer and some cooked food. The three of us started eating and drinking, and the topic was successfully diverted.
Back home, I couldn't figure out how he knew what happened. The only explanation was that Wang Jiao had reported me, but I was surprised that Sun Xicai wasn't angry. Later that night, just as I was about to sleep, I received a text message from Wang Jiao: "Big brother, why did you do that today?"
I quickly replied, saying I hadn't been feeling well recently and might have eaten something wrong. Wang Jiao said: "Don't do that again. If Xicai finds out, it will be terrible."
This surprised me. Did Wang Jiao really not tell Sun Xicai about it? I didn't want to guess, so I texted her directly to ask. Wang Jiao replied: "Of course, I didn't tell him. Otherwise, would he have been drinking with you this afternoon? He would have fought you to the death." I could only reply with an apology.
Wang Jiao said: "Big brother, I know you like me, but we are relatives, and Xicai is between us. It's impossible for us to be together. He's playing mahjong in the outer room, and the game is almost over. Don't reply to this text."
I couldn't sleep. I thought this affliction was bad. If I had an episode on the street and randomly touched some beautiful woman's butt, wouldn't her boyfriend beat me into a cripple? I called Frank Fang and asked if there was any way to cure it, but I still didn't want to take Sun Xicai to Thailand and spend that huge amount of money.
Frank Fang was probably asleep; his voice was heavy with sleepiness: "Of course, there's a way. It won't cost you a penny, and I guarantee you'll never get into trouble for harassing women again."
I quickly asked what the method was. Frank Fang said: "Never leave your home." I was furious. Before I could say anything, Frank Fang had hung up, and when I called back, his phone was off.
A few days later, using the excuse of meeting an online friend, I called Brother Jiang and asked him to pick me up when he was free. The Earth Guman Thong was placed on the platform in front of the car's windshield, surrounded by gummy bears, Xile yogurt drinks, a toy car, and two pieces of baby clothing. I smiled and said: "It looks like you prepared quite thoroughly."
Brother Jiang said: "I prepared plenty of offerings, but there's been no effect."
I asked him what wish he had made when he recited the mantra. Brother Jiang said it was nothing much, just wanting better luck and more unexpected money. I said the Earth Guman Thong is very powerful, but he needed to manage his expectations and not constantly think about finding things or winning the lottery; that would make it less effective.
It was already past 9 p.m. Halfway through the journey, a young man wearing glasses frantically waved on the roadside. Brother Jiang slowly pulled over. The young man urgently said to Brother Jiang and me: "Two big brothers, I need to go to Tiexi North Sixth Road. My girlfriend just called me saying she wants to commit suicide. I haven't been able to hail a taxi for ages, and now my phone is dead, so I can't contact her. Can you please help me with a ride? I'm almost dying of worry, please!"
Since he said that, saving a life was more important. Besides, I was going to Tiexi Ninth Road, which was generally on the way, so I agreed and let the young man get in. We reached the destination about twenty minutes later. The young man paid the fare, thanked us profusely, and left. When I reached Ninth Road, I also got out. When I tried to pay, Brother Jiang absolutely refused to take the money, so I let it go.
The female online friend was not pretty, and her figure was average. I was a bit disappointed. After chatting with her for less than ten minutes, I was already considering an excuse to leave, but she insisted I take her to karaoke. Just as I was feeling awkward, Brother Jiang called. He sounded mysterious: "Brother Tian, where are you? Quickly tell me, I'll come pick you up right away!"