Part-1
Days are going faster than usual. And I guess the reason behind it, is my impatience of trying to talk to that girl. My peace of mind is hanging by a thread. And I still haven't figured out how to approach her. I think it's the side effect of living a shut-in life. Not interacting and socialising can also be the reason behind it. Just like a usual working day, I go to college. And only one thought haunts me the whole day
'What am I missing?'.
When I am drown in my own thoughts, I hear a guy who is talking about his love life. I don't want to eavesdrop but.. it can be helpful to me. So I quietly listen to him. He says-
"Yesterday was it? I saw her again after class and she was looking freaking pretty. It was raining heavily so I took out my umbrella but I noticed she didn't bring her. And just then I got a brilliant idea.."
His friends are listening to him with there mouths wide open. Is that how much they love hearing it?!
He continues-
"I lent her my own, she was kinda shy, so she hesitated at first but when I insisted her she accepted the help. I was all over the moon because just like that I got an excuse to talk to her again. Also today in the morning, she was smiling at me."
His friends, surprisingly, exclaim together, "Really?!"
"Yeah! That's right my heart is still beating in her name.. Lala..la... After that I started walking behind her. She never I asked me to but she is totally fine with it. Her gestures were all green to me."
As the story proceeds one of his friends says
"She is totally into you bro! Just confess her already and she will be in your arms in no secs."
With a bashful look, the loverboy says.
"Oh no! You are exaggerating man. Just shut up already."
Even kids are better than these guys. What rubbish are they talking about? Hmph! Ahh.. But I have no choice but to ask him only.
In the lunch break, I met him at the cafeteria.
"Hey, umm.. can I ask you about something?"
This is really awkward. I want advice on how to approach a girl. Me? Really?! But..
"Hey!! You are here to talk about a girl, ain't I right?" Suddenly, he says.
"Bu.. But.. How do you.."
"How do I know about it?! It's easy, earlier you were carefully listening to my story. And surprisingly just after that you are here to talk to me. We never had a conversation before, let alone the greetings. And I hunched that might be the reason, and I got lucky."
Ryuu Ichosuke. He is the strategist in the football team who once won nationals. He is sturdy and strong thanks to his practice sessions. He is black haired. I couldn't expect less from someone like him. By living here for 2 years I have almost learned Japanese. But still I lack the accent and pronunciation, so we usually speak in English at college. And despite being a native child, he is exceptionally fluent in English.
"Yeahh.. You are right. I am here for your advice."
"See! A bullseye!"
I sarcastically say-
"Why don't you go ahead and tell me what my problem is, then?"
"My! My! Look at you, how pathetic you look!"
"Excuse me?!" I say with an angry look.
"Just see yourself in a mirror. You look exactly like a beggar: Your hairs all messed up, you look like someone who hasn't taken a bath for days and you stink too."
So that's why he is sitting far away from me...
I disagree with my messy hair; it's a trend I mean, keeping hair messy is all over social media. Also Ahem!! I agree with not taking bath for months.
"You mean to say I gotta keep myself cleaned and live like a normal person. Right?!"
"Yes, that's what I am talking. Just stay clean and blend with today's fashion and see how girls will flock all over you."
I only need one girl to notice me. Not all. Also I doubt changing my looks will give me more confidence. Isn't it that the soul must be good rather than judging how you look from the outside.
"Ok! I understood."
"Then all the best with your girl bro!"
"Yeah thanks."
I stand up and start to walk toward the exit and then he suddenly in excitement, asks me
"Oh.. wait! Tell me one thing did I guess your problem correctly?!"
"Somewhat maybe?!" I reply normally.
(The next day)
I am walking again without any progress. I try to get closer to her to have nice look but in that instance I notice a fragrant smell coming from her. It mesmerised my mind for a moment. I am feeling like a bee who is attracted to a nourished flower, destined to collect it's nectar.. Ok! Now, that's creepy! Just walk fast and go ahead of her. For real it is kinda appealing smell making people to approach her. And how do I smell... Ackk!! Disgusting!! I am about to puke.. Is that how people felt around me.
So that boy was basically telling me the truth. And the first thing I do after coming home is to take a bath. I thoroughly rub every inch of my body part. Cleaned it with a sweet-smelling soap. Washed my hair thoroughly and rinsed it with a shampoo.
"Argh...!"(Slam!) I fall down by stepping my foot on the soap and got a head bump.
And here I am infront of the mirror. Woah! I really am twinkling like a star..or like a diamond whose value is immeasurable. My body feel a bit relax. So I now I gotta do something about my hair and beard. I go to the salon so unwillingly.
"Do I really have to cut my hairs. I grew them earnestly for these many years! Let's head back..!"
"Hey! Boy! Are you here to take a haircut?" The barber calls me.
"No! I was just passing by." I answer instantly.
"Hmm?! But look at you, are you a beggar or something?"
Huh? Beggar? Me?
"What are you implying?!"
"That's how everybody calls you right. Come here! I will give you a fine cut so no one would dare to talk so."
He is sweet-talking to me. But he isn't wrong, though.
"O..Ok. But just cut a few hairs ok?"
"Sure! Sure!"
And he starts to cut my beautiful, long hair.. I am about to cry seeing my hair falling down on me.
(Snip!)(Snip!)
"Hoo!! All done! Now, now who would dare to call you a beggar hahaha!!"
I can't believe is this really me. I am more handsome than usual. It is not even convincing that it is me.
"I can't help but wonder about how nice I look after the haircut."
Wait! Wait! What the hell have I been doing? I even changed myself just to approach that girl from earlier. Is this what they call post changes after enlightenment. She has her influence all over me. I didn't realise, and I ended up doing something out of the way. Something's special about her which I ought to find out sooner. Anyway I must use this as a boost to approach her.
Part 2
What it will take to speak to her. Although my confidence increased, but my story is still there. I thought, after this makeover it will be easy for me to approach her but only my 1/3rd of my heartbeat is normal around her.
I am sitting in a cafe with Chris right now and drinking coffee, for which I didn't give my consent.
"Alright! Quit staring at my face now." He is staring at me for quite a while now.
"Amazing lord! What have you been up to. Did the goddesses finally bestow mercy and bless you."
"It's nothing like that."
"So..then who is the secret girl my lord?"
Wh.. Whatt... the... (Splash) In shock, I accidentally spit out my coffe on his face.
"Seeing your reaction, it is true? Right? My Majesty?"
See right to the point . He is a clever demon who never misses a chance to devour someone.
"What secret.. girl!?" I reply, avoiding eye contact.
"Oh come on! My Lord! I am your only servant(friend). Who do you think will write an autobiography of a sadistic man who changed his life after you die. I am gonna need some content to write the cause of your great feats and achievements."
says the man whose intentions are revealed by a creeping smile on his face.
If I tell him about the girl. He will never miss a chance to tease me about it and how pathetic I am for not able to talk to her, even once. I am not sure if I can survive his torture.
"Oh shut up! It's nothing like you said! "
Even after declining, he keeps pestering for a while.
"You should tell me..! There's no point in hiding"
by asking this type of question.
"I am going in my room. It's getting late."
"Oh..but! You haven't confessed yet."
I decide to escape from his clutches for now. But he will keep buzzing around me about it like a bee.
Sigh*
Life's so tough lately. I head to my room to sleep soudly after this tiring conversation.
After few days.
I am searching for Ryuu Ichosuke. The man whose idea about looks got flopped. I need to ask him for another way. I am unable to find him. He isn't in the class nor in the football club. Ahh.. There are his friends, I should ask them about his whereabouts.
But what they told me about him really gave me chills down my skin.
"Wha.. What are you saying? Is that really true!"
"Yess!! As far as I heard, that's what everyone's talking about."
It is unbelievable. Ryuu ichosuke, an upcoming star in football, was arrested for attempted murder?!
He was taken into custody two days ago and currently he is in jail. And I didn't even know about it. How cruel this is! I mean I don't know what happened but the man who was cheerfully sharing his love story among his friends being all bashful and innocent, is in jail right now. Nevertheless, the one he attempted to murder was his crush, herself. How can a man who praises his girl infront of his friends do something like this.
It is unforgivable. And here I am selfishly searching for his advice. I should have taken a hint from the start itself. Anyway, if it has come to this. I have to do something on my own.
Part 3
The next day
I start to run along the perimeters of the garden just like she does every day. I think doing something like her might help to get close to what I am trying to find in her. But I still won't get it. After running, I always get pretty exhausted. Not enough sleep is the cause. It also cause dark circles around my eyes, and I am barely able to keep it open in the morning. I don't want to speak to her in a drunken manner. I need to change my sleep schedule. It isn't easy, if I want to fall asleep at the scheduled time then I have to stay awake for two days. Doing so I will be sleepy at the designated time.....
And It is working just fine. I feel tired and exhausted and gets to bed in the nick of the time
After 2 weeks.
It is still all the same except for some of my bad habits. I wouldn't call them bad but society isn't governed by me. My only interest is the boy cut girl. My studies and other activities, even socialising, didn't catch my eye till now. They are banned from my world.
Today. Just a regular day.
But why is there no one today..? I get anxious. Why is there no one today. I ran myself, still no one arrived. It is late and still they haven't come. I sit down in their waiting. I don't know what I am feeling. Getting all worked up and worried. I waited and waited in but still my heart felt raging in pain. At last I gave up on my stubbornness and start to head back.
Just then she arrives. Alone, fearless and dedicated. Suddenly, my heart starts pounding so hard that it would burst.
But at the same time I feel warmth by her presence. She looks my way.. We hold proper eye contact. Types of flower blossom around her. I can't see anyone but her as the centre. Like the Queen of flowers, she blooms gracefully. She suddenly turns away. (What what was that?!) I ask to myself. The breeze, which felt heavier before she arrived, is now light as a feather.
I realise why I came to park every day. I enjoy watching her... Having fun with friends... And doing what she loves... I enjoy this momentary happiness. I happily leave the place.
After this day I know what she is for me. She is my joy. So I never missed a single day and visited the park regularly. Whether it would be raining, snowing or storming, whether I was injured or sick, I still went to see her. The craze increased in me day by day. And thus, it became harder to speak to her..
After few days.
Today is raining, nothing like usual.
"It's raining heavily today! I doubt she will come."
I don't want to take any chances. Let's take an umbrella and see if she is there or not. I leave the apartment. The weather is in a crazy mood, strong winds, thunderclashing! Making a loud terrifying sound. Water droplets are hitting the ground so hard, making big clattering sounds.
I reach the main gate. For my curiosity, she is present there. Holding a black colour umbrella at a distance from me. I feel relieved, also I am a little concerned about why she came in this stormy weather and why alone. I experience all emotions at once. As I am seeing from a quite a distance, a man approaches her wearing black clothes. With a mask on his face. They were talking casually. I mean why would I worry, why would anything go wrong. In the midst of their conversation, suddenly the man fetches something inside of his jackets. And takes out a sharp knife. Before I realise what is going on, he stabs her stomach 5-6 times. By covering her mouth, he doesn't even give her a chance to shout out her pain.
"Huh?!" My heart skips a beat.
"Wha..why..?!" I am not able to breathe properly. My breathing gets heavy.
"Huh?! What?!"
I was stunned but then I realised what happened.
The girl I never talked to..
The girl I admired the most..
The girl whom I enjoy watching...
The one I wanted to treasure is slipping like sand through my hand.
"Why, why, why, why, why?"
As terrified I could be, I don't know when I started crying. I fall on my knees.
"No, no! Why!!!!!!! This.. Is not real? Right?"
The horrifying scene in front of me immobilised me for a minute. Rain is weeping with me. The thunder is shouting in anger. My world is falling apart. He left her on the ground, fighting for her life. She silently cries. I come back to my senses.
" Hic...Hic..! Ah... I... I.. need to save her."
Hopelessly, I clean my eyes and start to crawl toward her. As fast as I can, I reach her. I take her into my arms. Her Blood is overflowing on the ground. It is my first time seeing this much blood.
"Hey..! Hey! Come on! Hic! Wake up! Don't close..close..your eyes! Hic... Someone please help us..! Anyone please.. "
My tears ain't stopping. She looks in my eyes. Helpless. I couldn't bear the pain of seeing her like this. I hold her cheeks and shake her to awaken her forcefully.
"Hey! Don't close your eyes..! Hey!Hic. "
I took a long breath to control my emotions and fear. To calm myself and assess the situation carefully. No one is coming, so I carry her in my arms to the main road. It is raining, so it becomes more difficult to find any taxi. Thankfully, one arrives.
"Hey! Hey! Stop! Hic... Stop, please!"
The taxi stops.
"Hurry Up! And tak.. Take us to a nearby hospital.. Please!"
The taxi driver didn't ask anything and quietly took us to the hospital.
I cried the whole trip. Even though I wanted to calm myself but I couldn't help but vent my sorrow in the form of tears.
She is in the operating theatre right now.
By the time I reached the hospital, she wasn't conscious. After reaching, she was immediately taken into the operating theatre.
My last hope are the doctors. I wish somehow they could save her. The operation started, I waited outside, praying that everything goes right.
Seeing bloodstains on my hand. I talk to myself.
What if I was already able to speak to her? Maybe then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if I had reached the park a little earlier or maybe if I hadn't met her. I wouldn't have experienced this feeling, right?!
Silently, I grieve in anger.
'Not everything you seek is supposed to be yours.' That's what I think.
Part-4
(4 months later.)
Currently I am travelling in a train. I am visiting a function at my otaku friend's hometown. He invited me, saying it is compulsory to come or you know what he would do..
It has been 4 months since that incident. I never visited the park after that. Doctors said she was dead due to internal bleeding and heavy blood loss. I don't think it was, because I was late.
Fate had me in his palm to dance day and night.
I don't know what to do anymore. I am dead inside. I am like a dead soul who lost its purpose of living.
My joy, it's the only thing I look forward to, and that's what gives my life meaning. And it is taken away from me again and again.
Hairs and beard grew out again. Not having regular baths. The stinky smell I produce. It all came back to me.
I am not interested in anything except her, and she's dead too.
The train stops at the station. I step down. In this crowded place, I am the odd man out. I don't belong here. This place... is not for me. I am trying to get away from this crowd but I can't.
At that time I sense a presence of familiar personality. I smell a connection that was lost somewhere. I follow my instincts. I follow my eyes. The eyes which were always down, now they looked everywhere.
Desperate and Hopeful.
I see a glimpse of a similar haircut which I saw every day. I can't see her face. My legs moved quickly, following her like a snake in the crowd. The crowd sandwiches me. I make my way somehow to that person. And when I finally see her, I realise-
"It's her!"
Then I realise that I am already separated from the crowd. I am not one of them. It was because of her from the start.
Time freezes for a moment. The rest of the world goes black and white. The look on my face right now, is unforgettable.
At this time, I am not thinking 'how is she alive?' or 'what is she doing here?'
I am just relieved ro her.
To break the happiness that I searched for months, I see the same guy with the same black outfit who killed her before. He is approaching her from behind with a knife in his hand. My body knows what to do now and moves on its own. I don't want to live through the same incident twice. Pushing others back, I move forward. I don't want her to experience that pain again, nor I wish to see that look in her eyes. So I will be the one this time.
Before I knew what happened, I was in her arms. She looked worried. Why is she worried? It is me this time and she is safe.
I whisper to myself.
"Thank God! She is safe.."
The pain of stabbing is fading gradually. I am happy in the end but I can't enjoy my joy to the fullest. In the end, she is noticing me. I am happy to see her once again. That's all that matters...
---------------
"Hm...mmhmm..." Why is it so dark? Wait.. Didn't I just die.
"This might be the afterlife... Argh..! But I can't open my eyes."
(People talking indistinctively)
"Mnhmm.. Whose voice is this?"
My eyes are slowly opening. Why is it blurry? I rub my eyes. My body feels heavy.
(Girl speaking at a distance)
"Who is it?!"
(Footsteps approaching)
"Umm... She.. Is.. What is she speaking?" The same girl from the park, but my head hurts, and I am unable to hear her.
The voice becomes clear.
"You.. Woke up early!? You should rest more."
By saying this, she smiles slightly and looks relieved.
I look around but everything is vivid.
"Wher.. Where am I?" is the very first question that pops into my head.
"Alex.....ria.." I can't hear her because of the loud banging in my head
"Alex..!?"
"Yes! 'Alexandria' the land where gods and goddesses lives!
"Hm!?.. Oh! I see..." With a small reaction, I fall unconscious.
---Status---
Name:- Rayan Frost
Age - 20
His role in society - a student
Dead/alive - Unknown
What he likes:- junk foods and the boy cut girl
What he dislikes:- people meddling in his business
Where he is right now- Unknown