CHAPTER 90: MOTHERHOOD CHALLENGES
Evelyn screamed at 2 AM. Then 3 AM. Then 4 AM. By 5 AM I was crying along with her.
"I don't know what's wrong." I rocked her desperately. "She's fed, changed, not too hot or cold. Why won't she stop crying?"
William took her from my shaking hands. "Go back to bed Kate. I've got this."
"You have work in three hours."
"So do you." He bounced Evelyn gently. "And you're running on maybe two hours of sleep total. Go."
I wanted to argue but exhaustion won. I collapsed into bed and passed out immediately.
When I woke up three hours later, panic hit instantly. The house was too quiet.
I rushed downstairs to find William at his laptop with Evelyn sleeping in a carrier strapped to his chest. He was typing one handed while the other supported her head.
"You're working." I stated the obvious.
"Conference call in ten minutes. Figured I could do both." He didn't look up. "She finally fell asleep twenty minutes ago. I'm too scared to move."
"William, you can't work like that."
"Watch me." He hit send on an email. "Besides, she seems to like it. Every time I stop moving she wakes up."
I poured coffee with hands that still shook from exhaustion. This was our life now. Two weeks of interrupted sleep, constant feeding schedules, and a tiny human who demanded everything while giving nothing back except dirty diapers and occasional smiles that were probably just gas.
"The board meeting is today." I remembered suddenly. "The merger finalization."
"Postpone it." William stood carefully, Evelyn still asleep against him. "You're exhausted Kate."
"I can't postpone. This is literally the biggest deal of my career." I gulped coffee like my life depended on it. "My parents' company merging with yours? I have to be there."
"Then bring Evelyn. We'll put her in the nursery we set up at the office."
"With who watching her?" I laughed bitterly. "We can't afford a nanny yet and Tina's at work."
"I'll watch her during the meeting." William said it like it was obvious.
"You're presenting half the merger terms. You can't do that with a baby strapped to you."
"Why not?" He challenged. "She's quiet when I hold her."
"She's quiet right now. Give her twenty minutes." As if on cue, Evelyn started fussing. "See?"
The next four hours were chaos. Getting dressed while feeding Evelyn. William on conference calls while changing diapers. Both of us snapping at each other from stress and lack of sleep.
By the time we reached the office, I wanted to cry again.
"Mrs Dray!" My assistant rushed over. "The board is already in the conference room. And there's a—" She noticed Evelyn. "Oh my God, you brought the baby."
"Long story." I adjusted Evelyn's carrier. "Is everything set up?"
"Yes but Kate, your mother-in-law is here."
My stomach dropped. Helena Dray had made exactly one visit after Evelyn was born. She'd held her granddaughter for maybe thirty seconds before handing her back like she was contaminated.
"Why is she here?" William appeared beside me, his face dark.
"She said she needed to speak with you both. About the merger." My assistant looked uncomfortable. "She's been here for an hour."
We found Helena in William's office, sitting in his chair like she owned it.
"There's my son." She didn't stand. "And my daughter-in-law looking exhausted as usual."
"What do you want Mother?" William's voice was ice.
"To save you from making a terrible mistake." She gestured at the merger documents on the desk. "Combining your company with Jones Corp? William, that's business suicide."
"Actually it's brilliant strategy." I set my bag down harder than necessary. "Our combined resources will—"
"Will dilute the Dray name." Helena cut me off. "My husband built that company from nothing. I won't let you destroy his legacy for some misguided attempt at romance."
"This isn't romance, it's business." William's jaw clenched. "And it's my company Mother. Not yours."
"A company you're running into the ground apparently." She pulled out a folder. "I've had my lawyers look at this merger. The terms heavily favor Jones Corp. You're basically giving Kate half your empire."
"That's not—" I started but she kept going.
"She's using you William. Just like her uncle used her parents. It's in her blood."
"Get out." William's voice dropped to something dangerous. "Now."
"I'm trying to protect you—"
"You're trying to control me like you always have." He moved to the door and opened it. "Leave. Before I have security escort you out."
Helena stood slowly, her face tight with anger. "You'll regret this. Both of you."
She left and the office felt immediately lighter. Evelyn started crying like she'd been holding it in.
"I need to feed her." I was already unbuttoning my shirt. "Can you give me ten minutes?"
"Take twenty." William collapsed into his chair. "God, my mother is exhausting."
"At least she's consistent." I got Evelyn latched after some struggle. "Always finding new ways to make me feel inadequate."
"Kate—"
"It's fine." But my voice cracked. "She's right though. I am exhausted. I can barely think straight anymore."
"That's normal for new parents."
"Is it normal that I sometimes resent her?" The words tumbled out before I could stop them. "That I look at Evelyn and think about how my life was easier before?"
William's face went carefully blank. "Do you regret having her?"
"No. God no." I looked down at Evelyn nursing contentedly. "But I'm drowning William. Work, motherhood, being your wife, trying to honor my parents' memory. I can't do it all."
"Then don't." He came around the desk. "Postpone the merger. Take maternity leave. Actually rest."
"I can't." Tears spilled over. "If I postpone, the board will think I'm weak. Helena's right, this merger favors Jones Corp because my company was nearly destroyed. I need this to work."
"More than you need your health?" His voice had an edge now. "More than Evelyn needs a mother who isn't falling apart?"
"That's not fair."
"Neither is you killing yourself to prove something to people who don't matter." He grabbed his jacket. "I can't watch you do this Kate."
"So what, you're leaving?"
"I'm going to the board meeting. To present our merger. Alone." He stopped at the door. "Because apparently that's what you need me to do."
He left and I sat there crying while Evelyn ate, feeling like everything was crumbling again.
---
The merger passed. Unanimously. William presented both our sections flawlessly and the board approved every term.
I should have been happy. Instead I felt numb.
Tina found me in my office an hour later, still in the same chair, Evelyn asleep in her carrier.
"Heard you and William had a fight." She sat across from me. "Want to talk about it?"
"I'm a terrible mother." It came out flat. "And a worse wife."
"You're exhausted." She corrected. "There's a difference."
"Helena said—"
"Helena is a bitter woman who's never been happy a day in her life." Tina leaned forward. "Kate, you just had a baby. You're running a company. You're trying to honor your parents while building a marriage that started as a contract. Give yourself a break."
"William thinks I regret Evelyn."
"Do you?"
"Sometimes I regret the timing." I admitted. "But never her. She's perfect Tina. I just wish I was better at this."
"Better at what? Being human?" She laughed. "You're doing fine Kate. Better than fine."
"Then why do I feel like I'm failing?"
"Because you're holding yourself to impossible standards." She stood up. "Come on. Let's get you home."
William wasn't there when we arrived. His car was gone, no note, nothing.
My phone buzzed with a text: "Need space to think. Don't wait up."
Tina read it over my shoulder and sighed. "Men are idiots."
"He's hurt." I collapsed onto the couch. "And I hurt him."
"Then fix it tomorrow. Tonight, you sleep." She took Evelyn from me. "I'm staying over. You're going to bed and I'm handling night duty."
"Tina you don't have to—"
"Yes I do. Because you're my best friend and you look like death." She headed for the nursery. "Go. Sleep. I've got this."
I was too tired to argue. Made it to my bedroom and crashed immediately.
Woke up eight hours later to sunlight and the smell of coffee. William sat on the edge of the bed holding a cup.
"You're back." I sat up slowly.
"I'm sorry." He set the coffee down. "For leaving like that, for not understanding—"
"I'm sorry too." I cut him off. "You were right. I'm pushing too hard and taking it out on you."
"We're both adjusting." He pulled me close. "This is hard Kate. Harder than either of us expected. But we'll figure it out."
"Together?" My voice came out small.
"Always together." He kissed my forehead. "I actually have something for you. An anniversary present."
"Our anniversary isn't for two months."
"Close enough." He handed me an envelope.
Inside were photos of an island. White beaches, clear water, a small house nestled in palm trees.
"What is this?"
"Ours." William smiled. "I bought it six months ago, been having it renovated as a surprise. Thought we could use a place to escape. Just us, no work, no board meetings, no Helena."
"You bought me an island." I stared at the photos.
"I bought us an island." He corrected. "Somewhere Evelyn can grow up with sand between her toes and parents who aren't completely stressed out."
"This is insane."
"This is love." He cupped my face. "Kate, I need you. Not just as my wife or business partner. I need you happy and healthy and not drowning. So if that means buying an island so you can breathe, then I'll buy a hundred islands."
I kissed him, pouring everything I couldn't say into it. When we broke apart we were both crying.
"I love you." I whispered. "Even when I'm terrible at showing it."
"You're not terrible." He wiped my tears. "You're human. And I love every imperfect part of you."
Evelyn's cry came through the baby monitor. William stood up.
"My turn." He headed for the nursery. "You drink your coffee and exist for ten minutes without responsibilities."
I watched him go, this man who'd gone from contract husband to my entire world. Who bought islands and held crying babies and loved me even when I was falling apart.
Maybe we would figure this out after all.