Chapter 52: The Karaoke Catastrophe
The karaoke bar is Howard's idea.
"Trust me," he insists over the noise. "This will be fun!"
"I don't sing," I tell him for the third time.
"Nobody sings. That's the point."
Penny's already three drinks in. Happy drunk, giggly drunk, making friends with the bartender drunk.
"Stuart!" She grabs my arm. "We're doing a duet!"
"I really don't—"
"Don't Stop Believin'! It's perfect!"
"Penny, I'm genuinely terrible at singing."
"So am I! That's what makes it fun!"
Bernadette's trying not to laugh. "Stuart, just do it. You'll regret it more if you don't."
"I'll regret it more if I do."
"Nope! Come on!" Penny's pulling me toward the signup sheet.
Leonard's watching from the booth. Drink untouched. Expression carefully neutral.
He's been doing better. Last week he actually joked with me about the Marvel gig. Progress.
But tonight—tonight he looks tired.
"NEXT UP!" The host announces. "Penny and Stuart with Don't Stop Believin'!"
"Oh god."
"Come on!" Penny drags me toward the small stage.
The music starts. That iconic piano intro.
Penny grabs the second microphone, grinning like this is the best idea anyone's ever had.
The crowd is generous. Drunk and generous.
"Just a small town girl—" Penny starts, off-key but enthusiastic.
My turn. "Living in a lonely world—"
I'm worse than off-key. I'm in a completely different musical universe.
Penny cracks up mid-verse. Doubles over laughing, still trying to sing.
I'm not even attempting to stay on melody. Just saying words near the rhythm.
"—STREETLIGHT, PEOPLE—"
We're both shouting now. Not singing. Just enthusiastically yelling Journey lyrics at a bar full of strangers.
Penny throws her arm around me for the final chorus. We're swaying, off-balance, destroying what was probably a perfectly good song.
The crowd cheers anyway.
Howard's recording this. Phone up, grinning like Christmas came early.
Raj is crying. Actual tears streaming down his face from laughing.
Bernadette's applauding, delighted.
Leonard—
Leonard's smiling. Small, but real.
Back at the booth, Penny's still giggling.
"That was amazing!"
"That was humiliating."
"Same thing!"
Howard's already watched the video three times. "This is going in the group chat immediately."
"Please don't."
"Too late. Sent."
My phone buzzes. The group chat exploding with reactions.
Sheldon: This performance violated multiple musical principles.
Raj: MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER WITNESSED 😭😭😭
Amy: Fascinating display of pair bonding through synchronized humiliation.
"Make it stop," I tell Howard.
"Never. This is gold."
Penny leans against me, warm and tipsy and happy.
"I love that you did that," she says.
"I had no choice. You literally dragged me on stage."
"You could've said no."
"Could I though?"
"Nope!" She kisses my cheek. "But you did it anyway. That's what I love."
The word hangs.
Love.
She said love.
Drunk, sure. Casual, yeah. But—
"I should probably not drink more," Penny announces. "I'm saying words."
"Good words," I say quietly.
"Drunk words."
"Still good."
She looks at me. Something soft in her expression.
"Yeah. They are."
I drive her home—she's too drunk, I'm sober enough.
She sings Journey the entire way. Still off-key. Still enthusiastic.
"—DON'T STOP—"
"Please stop."
"—BELIEVIN'!"
"I'm begging."
"HOLD ON TO THAT FEELIN'!"
I'm laughing too hard to drive properly. Have to pull over for a minute to collect myself.
"You're ridiculous," I tell her.
"You love it."
"Unfortunately."
She leans across the center console. Kisses me slow and tasting like vodka cranberry.
"Thank you for singing with me."
"I didn't really have a—"
"Thank you for being someone I can be ridiculous with. Dan hated when I got drunk. Said I was embarrassing."
"Dan remains an idiot."
"Confirmed idiot." She settles back in her seat. "You're not an idiot."
"High praise coming from drunk Penny."
"Drunk Penny is wise Penny."
"Debatable."
At her apartment, I walk her up.
She fumbles with her keys. I take them gently, unlock the door.
"Want me to stay?" I ask. "Make sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine. Just drunk." She leans in the doorway. "But you're sweet for asking."
"Text me when you wake up tomorrow?"
"Will do." She touches my face. "Stuart?"
"Yeah?"
"I wasn't just drunk talking. Earlier. The—" She hesitates. "—the L-word thing."
My heart does something complicated.
"Penny—"
"I know. Too soon. Too fast. I'm just—" She's struggling to find words. "—I'm just saying. It's heading that direction. For me. And I wanted you to know."
"It's heading that direction for me too."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
She smiles. "Okay. Good. Now go home before I say more drunk feelings at you."
"Goodnight, Penny."
"Goodnight, Stuart. Thanks for the worst karaoke performance of all time."
"Anytime."
Driving home, I think about the L-word said casually but meaning everything.
About Leonard's small real smile watching us murder Journey.
About Howard recording our humiliation for posterity.
About Penny admitting she's falling for me and not even being scared about it.
My phone buzzes at a red light.
Howard's made the video my ringtone.
When Sheldon calls, I'm greeted with my own terrible singing.
I should be mortified.
Instead, I'm grinning.
Dating Penny means public embarrassment and karaoke disasters and drunk confessions that might be too soon but feel exactly right.
And I wouldn't change any of it.
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