Her vision blurred, as if she were submerged back in the moon's murky water, seeing Nunes as a blur, the panic reactivating the memory of drowning.
"Wait... Let me help you..." He took off his helmet, revealing his concerned face, and extended his hand to her.
"No..." She spoke softly, her hand clutching her chest, her refusal weak. "No... no... noooo..." She closed her eyes, trembling, her body convulsing slightly.
Nunes noticed: her lips were almost white.
"I don't want to die..."
"Damn it... It's okay... I..."
"Mom..." She hugged herself, trying to feel human warmth, seeking comfort within herself. "I'm cold, Daddy... I... I don't want to go there... please... But it's because of this, okay...?"
...?
"Ah... of course... It's cold there."
...
"I'll go alone, relax, just breathe easy." He began to take steps, moving away from her, giving her space.
"NO!!! NO!!! WAIT!!! PLE... please..." She looked around, crawling on the floor, lost, panic returning with his departure.
"Caaaaalm down... What's wrong...?" His voice was calm, as if speaking to a frightened baby.
"My gun... Where... Where is it..." she cried, trying to see her gun on the floor, desperate for a point of control.
"Ketlen..." He chuckled, putting a hand to his face, a nervous laugh. "You're scared of me, aren't you?"
"No... no! I'm not!"
"I won't hurt you, just rest, relax..." She persisted in her relentless search for the gun, ignoring his words.
"Haaahh..." he sighed deeply, walking calmly to her, his patience tested. "Hey... Ketlen..." He gently took her shoulder, in an attempt to reconnect her.
"DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!"
SPLATT!—Liquid dripped down Nunes's cheek, hot like her rage, shock on his face.
"YOU ASSHOLE! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" she screamed, eyes wide, body trembling.
"Ketlen, damn it..." He wiped the spit with his suit sleeve, his voice a mix of frustration and understanding.
"Oh... Sorry! Soooorry!" She squeezed her eyes shut, trembling, the fit of rage turning into remorse. "Just don't hurt me, please... I beg you... Le... Leave me here... Don't take the gun and shoot meeee..." she cried, sobbing, her words dragging, revealing her deepest fear.
Nunes didn't know how to react. She was sitting, helpless, with her eyes closed, covering them with her hands and trembling, terrified by her own imagination. Her gun was loaded and on the table. She hadn't even taken it with her outside the ship. But... if he wanted to, this was the moment. Just one shot to her head and there would be no more insurgent inside.
But she wasn't just another insurgent... She was a woman... A very beautiful woman.
And cute...
And bipolar.
It was undeniable, he had a crush on her.
"Maybe she just tried forced self-control, trying to hide her past of anxiety and... suicidal tendencies?"
She was still an enigma to him; her true intention was a mystery to be uncovered... If he wanted to.
Of course, he wanted to. Nunes loved a constantly exploding girl.
"I'll go out there, you stay here. Relax, really," he said, his voice soft and comforting. "Take a deep breath... It'll get better soon. I'll be right back!"
"But... what if you don't come back?" she cried, flushed with shame, almost regretting asking, her vulnerability laid bare.
"I will. It's cool! Want some cold water? Not on your face... For you to drink." He tried to ease her, with a touch of gentle humor.
She offered a timid smile, a ray of light in the darkness of panic. "I do..."
"Great! Feeling sick? I have some Zofran in the drawer. Want some?"
"Mm-hmm." She nodded.
"Deal. I'll go grab it."
Ketlen watched him walk away, a peace gradually making her calmer, his retreating figure bringing a strange relief. She detested the feeling of patriarchy, but paradoxically, it gave her a sense of control, though she was reluctant to admit it, a contradiction in her being.
Her vision slowly returned to normal... The nausea was less intense, her hands stopped trembling, the cold lessened...
Her gun was now reachable and visible, gleaming on the table.
"Could it be...?" The treacherous thought arose.