Harry had received a call and had to leave, and since then, Airam couldn't help but think of him. He lived rent-free in her mind. She wasn't even sure what she was feeling, much less what Harry's feelings were.
"It's been three days since Harry left. Have you called him?" Jane asked.
"No, I don't have his contact, and I'm sure he's fine. Besides, why should I care?" Airam snapped at her sister, who could already tell she was worried about him.
"I was just asking. Since he said he didn't get along with his father, and he left in a rush that morning, I thought there was a problem," Jane said, genuinely concerned. The whole family had come to like him and accept him as one of their own.
"I'm sure he's okay. I've got to go," Airam said, kissing her mother goodbye. She turned to leave.
Harry walked in.
Airam found herself smiling before she even realized it.
"Hey, Harry, is everything okay?" Laila asked.
"Yes, everything is fine," Harry said, but his eyes were still on Airam. Everyone noticed, and when Airam finally did too, she wiped the smile off her face quickly.
"See you guys. Bye," Airam said, suddenly unsure whether she should say hello to Harry. Hug him? Kiss him? She wasn't sure what to do, and the confusion irritated her.
"Hey, Airam," Harry said, as if he could read her mind or at least her body language. He leaned forward and gave her a friendly side hug, a gentle kiss brushing the top of her head in the process. It felt awkward… but she didn't push him away. And for the first time in a long while, that didn't feel like a threat.
Airam managed to move past the awkward moment, forcing a smile as she turned to leave.
"Breakfast."
She stopped and turned. Harry was holding out a paper bag from Anni's, one of the top restaurants in the city. She reached for it, and her fingers brushed his by accident.
A harmless touch, except her chest tightened. A warm tingle shot up her arm. Her breath paused for just a second.
She swallowed and took the bag. "Thank you, Harry."
He just smiled gently, unforced and familiar.
As Airam walked away, something felt strange. Her heart was beating too fast. For no reason. She tried to refocus, but her hands suddenly felt clumsy around her bag.
Annoyed, she exhaled sharply.
~~~~~~~
At work, Airam seemed to be smiling more than she usually did.
"Are you leaving already?" Hakeem asked.
"Yes, I'm leaving soon," Airam replied.
"I see. Soon doesn't mean now, so tell me, what's his name?" Hakeem asked. He was her coursemate and colleague, but like every other man, she kept him at a distance.
"Whose name?" Airam asked.
"The guy making you smile. You seem to be in love, and I just want to know. Are you in love?" Hakeem asked. He had silently liked her for six years, and all of a sudden, she seemed happier than he had ever seen her. It made him wonder.
"Hakeem, if you have anything work-related to discuss, you should. If not, goodbye," Airam said in her usual professional tone. She walked away.
But somehow, she couldn't shake what Hakeem said. Love? Impossible. She had seen what loving someone could do to you. She couldn't let anyone love her, much less let herself love someone.
The feeling was overwhelming and consuming, and it felt like something completely new. If there were such a thing as a factory reset for emotions, she would gladly take that option.
It was the kind of stress and unease she couldn't explain or push away like carrying a heavy burden she couldn't outrun.
She decided not to go home yet and take a walk to clear her mind. At the park, she wasn't watching where she was going and bumped into someone. She lifted her head.
And there he was.
The man living rent-free in her mind.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked, concern softening his features.
"Nothing," she answered too quickly.
She tried to walk past him, but Harry gently touched her elbow, stopping her, not forcefully, just enough to make her look at him.
"Airam… talk to me." And there it was. Not the touch. Not even the words.
His eyes.
Those stupid, warm eyes that looked at her like she was someone worth listening to. Someone worth caring for. Someone worth knowing.
Her stomach dropped. Her heart fluttered. Her hands shook.
Oh no.
The realization hit her like a whisper turning into thunder.
Could she really be falling for him? Not because he was handsome.
Not because he helped her family.
But because he saw her, really saw her, without her having to earn it or hide behind strength.
Harry stepped a little closer. "Airam, you've been avoiding me. Did I do something wrong?"
She shook her head. "No. It's not you. It's… me."
"Okay," he said gently, "then let me understand you."
And just like that, her chest ached.
Because how do you tell a man you're terrified?
Terrified of needing someone.
Terrified of being happy. Terrified that he could break her in the smallest, quietest way.
She looked away, unable to hold his gaze. "I don't want to have this conversation."
"Why?" he asked softly.
"Because…"
Her voice cracked before she could stop it.
"…I don't know what to do with someone like you."
Harry's expression softened painfully soft. "Someone like me?"
"Yes," she whispered. "Someone who makes me feel things. Things I don't understand, things that leave me constantly confused."
Harry took a step closer, slow, careful, giving her every chance to pull away.
She didn't.
"Let me clear your confusion," he said, voice low and honest. "I'm not here to hurt you, Airam. I'm here because… I care. More than I should."
Her heart skipped.
A second realization struck her,
He feels it too.
She blinked rapidly, stepping back as her emotions threatened to spill over.
"I need to… breathe," she murmured.
And she walked off quickly before the truth written all over her face betrayed her completely.