While diplomats accidentally created alliances over teacups, the world's intelligence agencies entered a new era of chaos:
Everyone was spying on everyone else, and nobody understood anything.
It was not the Golden Age of Espionage.It was the Beige Age of Paranoia.
British Intelligence (MI-Slightly Lost)
MI analysts poured over photos of German construction sites.
The photos showed:
highways
bridges
factories
and suspiciously beige paint supplies
The British concluded:
"Infrastructure = Mobilization."
They never considered the alternative conclusion:
"Germany just really likes highways."
French Intelligence (Bureau des Sighs)
French agents infiltrated a German office and stole a top-secret folder titled:
"SEWAGE MODERNIZATION PHASE II."
The French assumed "sewage" was a code word.
Code for what?Nobody knew.They debated for hours.
Eventually they concluded:
"Phase II implies Phase I, therefore plans are advanced."
They sighed, naturally.
Italian Intelligence (Directorate of Biscotti Affairs)
Italy intercepted a railway schedule. Just a normal timetable.
Italy deemed it "deeply significant."
Their report stated:
"The Germans will move goods or people at unspecified times to unspecified places!"
Which, admittedly, was true of most railways.
Soviet Intelligence (Owl Division)
The Soviets didn't steal anything.They just stared, took notes, and made everyone uncomfortable.
Their final assessment read:
"Uncertain. Observe more."
Historians later praised this as the most accurate report of the decade.
Destiny Pushes Final Corrections
In Universe HQ, Destiny stared at the cosmic timeline dashboard.
Historian A: "Spies successfully misinterpreting everything."Historian B: "Diplomats confused, alliances forming, factories humming, beige saturating."Historian A: "Activate Final Adjustment: Paranoid Confidence Boost to Foreign Powers."
A cosmic lever was pulled. Confidence surged internationally.
Nobody knew why they felt bold. They just did.
Tajdin Attempts Plan C (New Genius Strategy)
Tajdin decided to derail the momentum of history using a radical new approach:
Public Transparency.
He held a national broadcast and admitted everything:
the highways were highways
the factories made factory stuff
the paint was beige
the knitting guild was peaceful
the sewage plan was literally about sewage
He hoped the world would relax.
It did not.
International Reaction
Britain:Transparency is suspicious.Conclusion: "He hides something deeper."
France:Transparency is emotional manipulation.Conclusion: "He hides something sinister."
Italy:Transparency confirms biscuit superiority.Conclusion: "Destiny favors biscotti."
Soviet Union:Transparency is capitalist espionage trap.Conclusion: "Observe more."
United States:Asked, "What did Europe do now?" then went back to baseball.
Destiny updated:
TIMELINE CORRECTION: 99%
Cabinet Meeting of Doom (But Polite)
Tajdin slammed his hands on the table.
"I have tried treaties, tea, transparency, transportation, teacups, biscuits, and BEIGE. Why won't the universe stop misinterpreting everything!?"
His ministers exchanged thoughtful nods.
Minister of Defense (misreading completely):
"He demands bold action. Understood."
Minister of Propaganda (even worse):
"We must appear stronger than we are."
Minister of Biscotti (Italy's ambassador who never left):
"And add biscuits!"
Destiny whispered, "Almost there…"
End Scene: Destiny Smells Victory
As Europe buzzed with rumors, alliances, spies, treaties, railways, knitwear, and incomprehensible spreadsheets, one cosmic truth became clear:
Tajdin had tried with all his might to STOP history.
History, being deeply stubborn and mildly petty, insisted on happening anyway.
TIMELINE CORRECTION: 99.6%
One final push remained.
The universe prepared the shovel.