Rentaro woke up, and for a brief moment, he couldn't tell if he had ever truly fallen asleep. Looking at the bright light emitted by the sun through the window, his mind began to wonder "Now what?"
Laying silently on the bed he thought to himself "is my situation even normal? Even without memories I can instinctively recall stuff that any human would know… but… how…?"
Now sitting at the edge of the bed
"Thinking about it right now will not do any good, I should go to the bathroom to wash up"
Just then he heard a loud *THUD* coming from another room and a person yelling
"heh?...What-"
Confused, Rentaro decided to check out where that loud noise came from, a few doors ahead of his room he noticed one slightly opened door so he decided to check it out
Reaching his hand out, just before he could open the door, a voice came from inside.
"—Lilou, stop!"
Another thud, followed by the sound of something clattering to the floor.
"I…uhh…should I… probably not…"
Just as Rentaro though that
"Ah—!"
"Don't move," a calm voice said
Rentaro felt uneasy but curious
He slowly pushed the door open to reveal Lilou who stood atop a small stool, gripping a pair of scissors, her tongue sticking out in concentration. Strands of dark hair littered the bathroom floor and in front of her sat Shizuka…
"Ehh…"
Rentaro glanced at Shizuka whose hair was now longer and messier than yesterday, reaching down to her neck
"Good morning… Rentaro." Said Shizuka while still looking in the mirror
Rentaro stared
"…Why are you cutting her hair?"
Lilou turned around
"M-Miss Marlene is late today so shizu a-asked me if I could cut her hair!"
To that Rentaro did not know what to say
Shizuka noticed Rentaro's confused stare and coldly stated
"If you're wondering as to how…" Shizuka paused, "my hair grows faster than normal…"
Thinking back to yesterday her hair was abnormally shorter than most girls, she probably cuts it short so it doesn't effect her that much
"Y-yesterday, Shizu tried cutting her hair herself b-but… i w-was busy, so it turned out like that…" said Lilou with a slightly sad-like expression
Well that explains it
"Usually Marlene helps me with my hair but she's is busy these days"
Rentaro though to himself that Lilou did a pretty good job even if she is a bit clumsy most of the time
"In any case" Shizuka said abruptly "Bernard told us to let you know what he'll be waiting for you downstairs"
"...Right…"
He remembered his proposition with Bernard, he felt glad that an old man like him was kind enough to let him stay even tho he was a complete stranger
Rentaro noticed that Shizuka was glaring at him through the mirror
"I should probably go downstairs…"
As he was about to go Lilou hopped slightly on her feet, grinning up at him.
"H-Have a good first day, Ren!"
"Ah…ehh… thank you…Lilou "
***
The stairs creaked softly beneath his steps as he made his way down. The smell of roasted beans and fresh bread grew stronger with every step
Bernard was already there, standing behind the counter. Beside him stood a woman that Rentaro vaguely recognized, a woman with purple hair and… horns…
"Ahh there you are!" Said Bernard "Right on time"
The woman took a moment to to analyze Rentaro until she realized who he was
"Ohh, it's you, I remember you!"
"H-huh-"
Rentaro barely had time to react before she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a firm,almost crushing hug.
"Huh? W–wait—!"
"Ren, this woman is Marlene, she works as a baker a few streets down from the cafe, she comes around every week to help around the store and the orphanage" said Bernard "although… I presume you already met before?"
"You're adorable!" said the woman without hesitation. "Skin and bones, too. Bernard, you should really try feeding him properly!"
Bernard sighed
After a few seconds, the woman finally let go of Rentaro while keeping him at arms length
"So, you finally choose a name for yourself huh Rentaro, it's nice, it has a nice ring to it!" said the woman proudly
"I…uhh…thanks miss Marlene…"
"Hehehe—"
Marlene turned around, rummaging beneath the counter before pulling out a folded set of clothes and pressing it into Rentaro's hands.
"This is your very own personally made work outfit!" Said Marlene excitedly
Looking at the clothes she gave to him… he began to think if those were appropriate "serving" clothes
"You see Ren" said Bernard "today you will be working alongside Marlene and Shizuka, so I'll have them help you out on learning how we do things here"
Rentaro thought to himself "if Marlene is willing to work for Bernard, then they must be really close friends"
Before Rentaro could ask anything, Bernard stepped past him toward the back of the shop.
"I'll move the supplies before the morning rush," he said casually.
What followed made Rentaro pause.
Bernard crouched, gripped a large wooden crate meant for two people, and lifted it with little to no effort. He carried it across the room and set it down neatly against the wall.
Rentaro stared at Bernard "he is quite strong for an old man" he didn't really realize it before, but Bernard physique was also abnormally buff for his age
"Ahh Marlene, i forgot to mention that Ren over here needs so more work appropriate clothes, I can't have him work in a servitors outfit outside of the shop after all"
"Ofcourse ofcourse, I'll go pick out a few clothes for him later, but if there is anything specific he wants I'd be happy to sew it for him!"
"...I'll keep that in mind…"
"Oh,oh I should take your measurements first!"
Just before Marlene could take Rentaro's measurements, a creaking sound echoed from the nearby stairs
Rentaro turned as a small figure emerged, Lilou hopping down the last step while tightly holding Shizuka's hand. Shizuka followed more slowly, her expression calm
even though her hair was… uneven
Marlene froze
"…Oh."
Her eyes locked onto Shizuka's head
"Oh no. Oh no, no, no—"
She rushed over, crouching in front of Shizuka and gently lifting a strand of her hair between her fingers
"I'm so sorry, Shizuuuu," Marlene said quickly. "I really meant to fix it properly yesterday, but the kids wouldn't cooperate and then Bernard asked me to—ahh, it's my fault."
Shizuka tilted her head slightly whilst trying to avoid eye contact with the woman
"…It's fine…"
Marlene looked like she was about to get scolded by Shizuka, practically at the verge of tears
"I should've done better,guhhh" she muttered before straightening up. "Ah,Ah—right! Speaking of which."
Marlene turned around, facing Rentaro
"Since you just got your servitor outfit and all, you might as well start helping out properly," she said with an apologetic smile
"Shizuka was about to prepare the vegetables, and she could use an extra pair of hands."
She gestured toward the back of the shop
"Nothing complicated," Marlene added quickly "Just peeling and sorting. I'll handle the rest later!"
Her gaze flicked briefly to Shizuka, then back to Rentaro
For a moment, the room fell into a thick, uncomfortable silence, no one quite sure what to say next.
"...Please?"
***
The back room.It wasn't as big as the other rooms of the cafe but it wasn't small either, pots hanging off of pot racks and knives neatly placed inside knife holders
A wooden table sat in the middle of the room, scattered with vegetables, Two knives. A half filled basket and on each side of the table stood Rentaro and Shizuka
Her knife came down in steady motions. Peel, turn, slice. Each piece falling cleanly into the basket. No hesitation. The sound was soft and rhythmic, almost calming.
Rentaro watched for a second.
Then he tried to copy her
He picked up a vegetable, adjusted his grip to match hers, and brought the knife down.
The blade slipped
The peel came off too thick, the cut was uneven
Shizuka paused. She glanced at his side of the table, then back to her own work
"…You're holding it wrong"
"...Right. Like—this?" Rentaro shifted his grip, mimicking her posture more closely
"…No."
She reached over without asking, gently moving his fingers into place. Her touch was brief and precise
Hold it here," she said. "And don't press so hard"
Rentaro nodded. "Got it"
The result was… slightly better. Still crooked
Shizuka sighed. Quietly, but audibly
She looked at him again, just for a moment
"…You're thinking too much."
"Uhh…About vegetables?"
"…About everything."
Silence settled back in.
Shizuka resumed cutting.Rentaro followed, slower now, watching her hands instead of his own. After a few seconds, he spoke again.
"So… you work here a lot."
"…Yes."
"With Bernard and Marlene."
"…Yes."
"…You don't get tired of it?"
Her knife didn't stop moving
"…It's work."
"Right. Yeah. That makes sense."
He cut another piece. This one
was usable
"…You're from Palem, right?" he asked
"No."
Shizuka hesitated. Just a fraction of a second
"…Neither are you," she added.
Rentaro didn't truly know how to respond to that claim
"...I wouldn't know…"
They worked in silence again. The basket on her side filled steadily. His lagged behind
After a moment, Rentaro spoke up
"Lilou seems attached to you."
"She doesn't really have anyone else" Shizuka stated "she's… quite shy"
"...what about… the other kids at the orphanage?"
Shizuka stopped cutting
"...they don't like her…"
"Oh…"
Rentaro thought the conversation would end there
"But…" Shizuka started cutting again "I tolerate her. I do not support her energetic behavior but it doesn't bother me that much anymore"
Rentaro thought back to Lilou's… interesting shenanigans and how she'd probably often cause trouble for Shizuka, a thought that made him chuckle for a split second
"That is kind of you"
"Mhm"
***
"Now that we're done with cutting up the vegetables, I'll teach you how to grind up coffee beans"
Rentaro blinked, surprised it was her saying it.
"…You will?"
Shizuka was already wiping her hands, moving toward the counter as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"You were assigned to help," she said. "If you don't learn, I will have to do it"
Ah. There it is
Rentaro followed her
So this wasn't kindness. This was self-preservation
She set the grinder down between them and demonstrated once, efficiently and precise
"Like this," she said "Keep consistent presume and don't rush it"
He tried to mimic her. The grinder slipped slightly
"…Too fast," she said, adjusting his hands. "Slower"
"Got it," he muttered. "So this is you avoiding extra work, right?"
She paused for half a second
"…Correct."
That made him chuckle under his breath
She stepped back, arms folded
"Finish it"
Rentaro resumed grinding, the motion steadier this time
Shizuka took the grinder from him once he was done and checked the grounds with a brief glance
"…it's acceptable, you'll need to work for on that"
She turned toward the kettle. Water heated. Grounds measured. She poured slowly, deliberately, steam rising between them
Rentaro watched, trying to memorize every step, inherently failing to focus
The coffee finished brewing just as footsteps approached from the front
"Oh? You're already on that?" Marlene said, peeking over the counter. Her eyes brightened when she saw the mugs lined up
"Perfect timing!"
She clapped her hands once and slid a tray toward Rentaro
"Alright then—since you helped make it, you get to serve it."
Rentaro stiffened. "…Me?"
"Of course," she said, already placing cups onto the tray. "You can't learn without doing."
He hesitated, glancing at Shizuka
She had already turned back to her work.
"...try not to spill it," she said flatly
Very encouraging
"...fine I'll do it…"
Rentaro took the tray, adjusting his grip, and stepped toward the front of the café
Just as he was about to reach the table where the "costumer" was, he noticed that the apparent consumer was Lilou sitting on a wooden stool
"...huh?"
Turning around he saw Marlene behind the counter smiling deviously
"She probably wants to see if I'm capable enough of serving coffee"
He placed the tray onto the table.
Lilou as energetic as ever grabbed the cup of coffee and took a sip
"Blah—!"
Lilou's barfed-coffee now was covering the table
"I guess she doesn't like coffee that much"
Lilou wiped her tongue with the back of her hand, face scrunched in pure betrayal
"Bitter!"
Rentaro froze for half a second, then hurriedly grabbed a cloth from the counter and started rubbing the table
"You shouldn't drink it all at once you know…"
Marlene laughed behind her hand, completely unrepentant
Shizuka glanced at him disappointed, well, not exactly in disappointment, more like scoffing at Lilou's incompetence
The moment passed, more and more people started entering the cafe, a lively scenery indeed, it seemed like Bernard really was a popular face around town
With Shizuka guiding him, Rentaro carried cups, wiped counters, and took orders. Small things. Simple things. Always with a blank expression, not fazed by the obscure people around him. But a reacquiring thought closed his mind over and over
He didn't feel like he belonged in a place like this
***
The Arben forest, a small forest near the ends of the city, after Rentaro's work at the cafe, Marlene thought it would be a good idea to make Rentaro do some of the heavier tasks…
*THWACK* … *THWACK*
The axe bounced off the log and rattled up his arms
"You have to consecrate and hit the log at its center, Rentaro!"
"...that's easy for you to say, I've never done this before…"
"Hey now, don't be so gloomy, you can do this, just keep it straight and hit it"
Rentaro was chopping wood by the request of Bernard, he thought that it would be an easy job for him but he lacked any previous experience that he had knowledge off
The forest was quiet, calming even, Lilou was standing at the side of a lake splashing water and running around while Marlene tried to teach Rentaro how to chop wood
"...I… can't do it…"
"You definitely can!" She said "you're just… uhhh… thinking too much, that's all"
"...I am not thinking too much…" Rentaro muttered, adjusting his grip. "... I just don't get it…"
"Then stop trying to 'get it.' Take a deep breath and let it come down"
The forest air was cool against his skin. The lake shimmered quietly behind him. No shouting crowds. No whispers in his head. No weight pressing on his chest.
"...fine then…"
Rentaro took a deep breath whilst tightening his grip on the axe
"Go. Go. Rentaro!" Yelled Marlene while Lilou sneaked up behind her and joined with her
"Go. Go. Rentaro!"
"Go. Go, Rentaro!" Marlene called out not loud, but firm
Lilou tiptoed behind her, then suddenly shouted
"GO! GO! RENTARO!"
"Kyah–" Marlene flinched "Don't scream in my ear—"
But it was too late
The sudden noise jolted him forward
There were now two pieces of wood In front of him
He was victorious
***
after a while Rentaro barely learned how to chop logs correctly and so He, Marlene and Lilou were making their way back to the cafe, the way back was slow, they were carrying the wooden logs that Rentaro had cut so it took them some time to reach the city
The city air felt warmer than the forest. He could smell bread from somewhere down the street. Voices drifted from open windows
He didn't pay much attention to them, he just kept following Marlene's and Lilou's path to the cafe. It was as if he wasn't thinking anything, or either… thinking everything, with a blank expression and holding the hand axe he used
After a while the café came into view, its dark oak frame rising between taller stone structural pillars for support
The café might not have been as grand as the merchant halls near the central square, nor carved from pale marble like the noble estates farther uphill. It was older than that. Humble. Built from thick timber beams interlocked in a sturdy grid, the spaces between them filled with white plaster that had long since softened to a warm cream tone
But the building felt unique and recognizable
To Rentaro at least
"Ahhh we are finally here!" Marlene broke the silence "it's been a while but we are finaaaally home!"
Home? Rentaro thought. Is this home? Is this supposed to feel like a home? Am I supposed to see it in that way?
Lilou excitedly hurried ahead, nearly stumbling on the last step before the entrance
"I will sit at the window seat if it's empty!" she declared
Marlene laughed softly, shifting the bundle of logs in her arms
"Help me bring these inside first, you little rascal!"
Rentaro remained standing where he was for a second longer
Home?
The word echoed in his head, thumbing, yearning for a concrete answer
Home was supposed to be something warm. Certain. Something you didn't question
But what was home to someone like Rentaro?
Someone inconspicuous, someone unaware, someone undeniably lost from any self recognition
Had it not been for Lilou finding him and bringing him here, and for the support from Bernard
Would he have found "home"?
This building was wood and plaster. Flower boxes that needed tending. The faint scent of roasted beans seeping through the shutters
Yet when he looked at it, he felt like he still didn't belong to it
And that alone felt strange to him
He stepped forward
The wooden steps gave their usual quiet groan under their weight. The wooden door stood closed, sunlight glinting faintly off the worn handle
Marlene nudged it open with her shoulder, The bell above the door chimed light, familiar, steady
The interior was dimmer than outside, beams running across the ceiling like ribs. Small round tables stood arranged with practical care rather than elegance. A long counter stretched along the right wall, jars of beans and glass containers neatly aligned behind it
Shizuka sat near the far table close to the window, a book open in her hands, the light from the window resting across her shoulder
She must have finished her chores early
She briefly glanced up
Lilou spotted her immediately
Without warning, she rushed straight across the café and leaned over the back of Shizuka's chair, chin nearly resting on her shoulder
"Shizuu, What are you reading?"
Shizuka didn't flinch. She turned a page first. Then another half-second passed before she answered
"A book."
Lilou squinted at the pages
"What kind of book?"
"The kind with words."
Lilou's brows lowered with a disappointed look. "That tells me nothing…"
Lilou leaned closer, trying to peek properly this time. "Is it a story? Is there fighting? Is there a dragon? Is someone dying?"
"No."
"Then it's boring."
Shizuka finally lifted her gaze, calm and unhurried.
"You wouldn't understand it."
Lilou froze
"…What?"
Shizuka closed the book halfway, keeping a finger between the pages
"It requires patience," she said evenly. "And thinking."
Lilou straightened immediately. "I can think! I am smart!"
Shizuka tilted her head slightly
"If you say so."
Lilou gasped like she'd been struck
"I think all the time!"
"Yes," Shizuka replied. "About pastries. And sweet's."
Lilou puffed her cheeks out, crossing her arms
"You're a meany shizuuu..."
Lilou turned her head away with an exaggerated huff, though her eyes kept drifting back toward the book
"…Fine. Don't tell me," she muttered. "I didn't even want to know."
Across the room, Marlene shook her head faintly, then glanced toward Rentaro
He was still standing near the entrance, the hand axe hanging loosely at his side, his gaze was unfocused
"Rentaro," Marlene called gently."Can you help me for a moment?"
He nodded and followed her toward the back counter. She began arranging the logs they'd brought in, stacking them neatly beside the hearth
"Can I ask you something?" she said
Rentaro nodded
"Is everything okay?"
"…Yes."
The answer came out cold and flat. Even if he tried to act, they both knew that he was lying
Marlene tilted her head slightly."You've been thinking a lot."
"... isn't that normal?"
"No!" Marlene replied softly. "For you, it's a bit unsettling."
He looked at her then not defensive, just blank
"...I don't…"
"Huh?"
"...I don't understand any of it…"
Marlene was taken aback by his statement
"What don't you understand?"
"...life"
The word came out quiet. Almost detached. It was clear that that though was in his mind for a long time now
"…What about it?" she asked
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," he said quietly
Marlene didn't interrupt
"...I don't know how I'm supposed to act," he continued. "When to speak. When to feel something. Everyone else just… does it?"
His expression changed
"...I watch people around me act and smile as if it's their own instincts driving them to act like that, everyone so different and unique from each other, Lilou's energetic behavior and Shizuka stoic personality, Bernard, you…" He paused. "There's movement in all of you. There's something in you…"
He lowered his gaze
"...I don't feel that…I don't have that…"
The words came out abruptly. Marlene was surprised by Rentaro's words
"It's like I'm copying what looks appropriate. If someone smiles, I'll try to look less blank. If something serious happens, I'll try to look serious."
He swallowed
"...But inside, there's nothing reacting. I don't feel anything right now…"
Marlene's expression shifted not alarmed, but deeply attentive
"...I don't really want anything, I have no desires" he admitted. "I don't look forward to things. I don't miss things. I don't even know if I'm happy or sad that I'm even here."
He let out a slow breath
"...I just…" he paused."... I feel like a corpse that just hasn't fully died yet…"
Marlene stepped closer, not hurried, not panicked
"Rentaro," she said gently, "do you think corpses worry about whether they're alive?"
He didn't answer
"Do you think a corpse would question itself?"
His gaze shifted slightly
"You feel derealized," she continued. "That doesn't mean you're a corpse. It means that theirs yet something to peak your interest
She didn't reach for him, but her presence felt closer
"You notice others. You question
yourself. You're afraid of doing it wrong."
He looked unconvinced.
"...i-i really don't know how to want things…"
"Then don't start with wanting," she replied. "You can start by staying here with us!"
He didn't understand
"Stay," she repeated. "Stay at the cafe. Stay in a conversation. Stay when it feels quiet instead of running away."
"...what if I still feel like I don't belong? …What if… I still feel nothing…?"
Marlene gave a slight chuckle
"Then you stay anyway!"
Rentaro stood there, staring at her as if she had handed him something fragile
Stay anyway
He didn't know how to respond to that. Didn't know how to argue with it either
The café felt smaller all of a sudden. Warmer even
Lilou's muffled complaining. The soft turn of a page. The faint crackle of settling wood
"…I need air," he said quietly
Marlene studied him for a second, then nodded
"Alright… Just don't disappear on us...Okay?"
He gave a small nod
He turned toward the door
Lilou was still talking
"—come on shizuuu, just tell meee—"
Shizuka's page stopped mid-turn.
Just for a second her eyes lifted up to look at him
Rentaro's hand rested on the handle. He felt it. That quiet attention. but he didn't turn around. He didn't care enough
The bell chimed as he opened the door
Cool air slipped inside
When it closed behind him, Shizuka lowered her gaze again
And turned the page
***
Cool air met his face as the door closed behind him.
Rentaro stood still for a moment.
"…Stay anyway."
The words replayed in his head, but they didn't settle anywhere. They just drifted around, like something he was supposed to understand but couldn't quite reach.
He started walking.
He didn't have a destination in mind, he just didn't want to stay still
"...if I don't belong…"
His fingers tightened slightly inside his coat pocket.
"...what exactly am I staying for…"
People's desires usually seek no end, they have reasons, things they avoid losing because they see a part of themselves in them.
He tried to search for something like that inside himself.
"...but I still feel nothing…"
And truly, there was nothing.
No anger.
No excitement.
No regrets.
Not even loneliness in the way other people would describe it.
People keep on going because of those desires, their will's manifest based on them, but what are desires to someone like Rentaro? Someone whose will to keep going… never existed.
He truly… truly felt like a walking corpse.
His steps slowed as he reached the building beside the café. An… orphanage… was it?
Voices broke through his thoughts.
Children.
A few of them were playing near the entrance of the orphanage, chasing each other in loose circles. One of them tripped, another started laughing and another one looked worried.
Rentaro watched them expressionless .
The seemed… free.
They played, laughed, run, without hesitation, not a care in the world as if existing was just that natural.
He tried to imagine himself doing the same.
Running, smiling, laughing.
The idea felt strange, foreign, unnatural
Innocent and pure, is that what people mean when they say they're alive?
One of the kids shouted something incomprehensible and ran past the others again.
Rentaro's gaze stayed on them, but there wasn't warmth in it.
Just observation.
"You're thinking too much."
Bernard stepped up beside him, his heavy boots stopping a short distance away. His arms rested loosely at his sides as he looked toward the children running across the front of the orphanage.
"...I am…"
"They're just playing," Bernard continued.
"…They look free."
Bernard gave a quiet hum.
"They're kids."
"They don't hesitate," Rentaro said.
"They run, shout, laugh. Like it's
natural."
"That's because it is."
Rentaro was quiet for a moment.
"...I never got to experience this…"
Bernard studied his face for a second. Most people would expect shame,frustration, maybe even fear. But Rentaro looked exactly the same as always. Blank. Honest.
"…That's rough," Bernard muttered.
The kids had started arguing again, one accusing another of cheating at whatever game they were playing.
They stood there for a while in silence.
Then Bernard nodded toward the
orphanage.
"You know Lilou grew up there, right?"
"…I assumed..."
"she never got adopted."
Rentaro's gaze shifted slightly.
Bernard continued, his tone casual but quieter now.
"Plenty of families came through over the years. Kids got picked up one by one. I saw them all go."
"But never her."
Rentaro didn't interrupt.
"She didn't help her chances," Bernard added. "Didn't stick with the other kids much, never played with them either. Always wandering off. Talking back. Getting into trouble."
A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
"Spent more time sneaking into the café than staying here. She likes quiet places."
Rentaro imagined it.
Lilou, smaller, younger, sitting at one of the café tables like she belonged there.
"…So you adopted her?" Rentaro asked.
Bernard shrugged.
"Eventually."
Rentaro tilted his head slightly. A question he didn't expect asking came forward.
"Why?"
Bernard scratched the back of his neck.
"Because I understood," he paused, "This is where she belonged."
Bernard sighed.
"…And because she was already acting like it was her home anyway."
The kids' laughter rose again behind them.
Bernard looked at Rentaro.
"The point is, family isn't always something you start with. Sometimes it's the people you find comfort in"
His gaze softened slightly.
"So yeah. Whether you understand it or not…"
He gestured back toward the café.
"You're part of the family now too."
The words landed heavier than Rentaro
expected.
Not emotional.
Just… weight.
"…I see," he said quietly.
Bernard chuckled.
"You don't have to understand it yet. I'm looking forward to your accomplishments, Rentaro."
He stretched his shoulders.
"Anyway, I actually came to find you for a reason."
Bernard jerked his thumb back toward the café.
"We're running low on ingredients. So I need someone to head to the market."
"…Alright."
"Lilou and Shizuka are coming with you."
Rentaro looked back toward the café door for a moment.
Then he nodded once.
"…Understood."
Bernard clapped him firmly on the shoulder.
"Attaboy!"
***
The market district. Busy, noisy and full of… people?
Beings with humanoid characteristics casually walking everywhere. Voices overlapped from every direction, merchants calling out prices for things that Rentaro had never even thought existed, customers arguing over prices, carts creaking slowly through the crowded street. Stalls lined both sides of the road beneath patched cloth canopies, their tables crowded with baskets of vegetables, hanging cuts of meat, glass jars, and bundles of herbs tied with twine.
It was louder than the quiet streets around the café. Messier too. But people moved through it with practiced ease, weaving between stalls and vendors like it was second nature. Fairly a large area.
And toward that noise, three figures were making their way down the road leading from the café.
Lilou walked in the middle.
She held Rentaro's hand with one of hers and Shizuka's with the other, swinging their arms slightly as she marched forward with determination.
She had told Rentaro that she'd be the one to guide him through the market. And as she remarked "he would get lost" so she asked him to keep a tight grip on her hand. As for Shizuka, from the looks of it she was as clueless as Rentaro in her coordination of the place. So Lilou insisted on her guiding both of them through the streets of Palem's market.
She pulled them deeper into the market, weaving through the crowd with surprising confidence.
"We should get the vegetables first!" she announced.
"...alright."
Rentaro didn't argue. He simply followed, letting himself be dragged along while keeping an eye on where she stepped.
Shizuka walked on Lilou's other side, quiet as always, her gaze moving from stall to stall.
They stopped at a table stacked with cabbages and long bundles of greens.
Lilou leaned forward immediately, inspecting.
"This one looks nice!" she said, pointing.
The vendor chuckled and began gathering a few into a cloth sack.
Rentaro reached for the coin pouch Bernard had given him, fumbling slightly.
He just stopped, he didn't know what to do. How much was he supposed to give? How was he supposed to act?
Before he could decide what to do, a hand slipped into the pouch.
Shizuka.
She took a few coins out without hesitation and placed them on the table.
The vendor nodded and pushed the sack toward them.
Shizuka closed the pouch and handed it back to Rentaro as if nothing unusual had happened.
"Let's go," she said simply.
Lilou had already wandered two stalls ahead.
Rentaro followed them, the pouch still in his hand.
They moved on soon after, Lilou still holding their hands as she led them toward the next row of stalls.
From stall to stall they gathered the things Bernard tasked them to, hand in hand.
From a distance, the three of them probably looked like a small family navigating the afternoon market.
They moved between stalls for a while longer, Lilou confidently pulling them along as she searched for the remaining ingredients, and Rentaro's mind wandered to one thing, one and only thing.
Disgusting.
Disgusting…
I feel… I feel sick…
I feel… empty…
Yet those feelings kept cultivation inside of him, expanding with each interaction, each blank stare, each thought that provoked what seemed to be thought "normal". But what he was experiencing was far less than normal.
He looked at Shizuka beside him, calm and unbothered, and then back at Lilou, laughing as she tugged at their hands.
Each step he took seemed heavier than the last, as if the world itself resisted him. The bright colors of the stalls, the warm smells, the bustle of people should have been alive. But to him, it all felt like a painting, flat and unreachable.
Lilou's hand tugged at his, insistently, but he barely noticed. Shizuka moved beside him, quiet, precise, calm. And he felt… nothing.
He tried to recall what it felt like to belong somewhere, to feel at home, to feel anything at all. His chest tightened, stomach twisting. Every laugh, every casual glance of a passerby that should have been wondrous it only reminded him of what he lacked.
Disgust. Emptiness. Confusion.
And underneath it all, a flicker of longing. A vague, wordless ache.
Do I really want this? he asked himself. Do I belong here? Could I belong anywhere?
The thought twisted in his chest. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to feel that warmth, that comfort, that sense of being… needed. But the hollow part of him recoiled, reminding him that he wasn't made for this. Not fully.
For a moment, he imagined it. Lilou's giggle, Shizuka's quiet attentiveness, the small, mundane rhythm of life in a home that was not his. And something deep inside him stirred not understanding it, not trusting it, but acknowledging it.
From the outside they really looked like a small family, and he acknowledged it, but was that what he longed for?
A family?
The question lingered in his mind like smoke, twisting and curling with no clear direction. He didn't know if he wanted it… or if he even understood what it meant to want something like that.
Lilou tugged at their hands again, bringing him back to the present.
"Is everything alright Rentaro?"
Rentaro glanced at Lilou
"... everything is fine…"
They moved on from stall to stall, gathering the last of the ingredients Bernard had asked for. Shizuka counted coins with quiet efficiency, placing the purchases carefully in their basket, while Lilou chatted about random stuff.
By the time the sun had reached its peak, noon had arrived. The baskets were full, the tasks complete. Lilou bounced happily beside them, chattering about what she wanted to do when they returned, while Shizuka simply glanced at her.
And so they started walking back to the cafe.
***
The streets grew quieter the farther they walked from the market district.
Lilou still held their hands, though her pace had slowed. The excitement of the market had worn off, leaving her humming quietly to herself as she skipped along the path.
Rentaro barely noticed.
The silence was worse.
Rentaro, now absolutely engulfed in his thoughts, with the same question in his head.
Why am I here?
The question returned again and again, circling through his mind without an answer, like a thought that refused to settle.
His grip around the basket tightened slightly. The weight of it wasn't heavy, but it grounded him enough to keep walking. Step after step. Just following the road back.
But the silence gave his thoughts room to grow.
What am I supposed to do here?
What am I supposed to be?
Everyone around him seemed to move forward without hesitation. They spoke, laughed, and argued over trivial things.
I don't get it…
The thought made his stomach twist.
Lilou suddenly let go of their hands.
She ran ahead toward a small pond beside the road, crouching near the edge and immediately dipping her hands into the clear surface.
"Look! Look!"
She splashed the water lightly, laughing to herself as the ripples spread across the pond.
Rentaro stopped walking.
The basket in his hands suddenly felt heavier.
Shizuka noticed first.
"You're thinking too much, Rentaro"
The words landed heavier than they should have.
I'm sick…
Rentaro stopped completely.
I feel sick…
For a second he just stood there, staring at the ground.
Disgusting…
Then something inside him snapped.
The basket slipped from his hands, thudding softly against the dirt.
"... I'm sick. I'm sick of it!"
His voice wasn't quiet anymore.
Shizuka didn't react.
Rentaro's shoulders trembled slightly as he dragged a hand through his hair. His knees hit the ground a moment later.
"Thinking too much… thinking too much…" he muttered bitterly. "Im sick of everyone telling me that."
He looked up at her, eyes sharp now, frustration spilling out before he could stop it.
"What the hell do you know about me huh? All of you, Bernard, Marlene, Lilou."
His voice rose.
"You tell me to stop thinking like it's that simple."
His hands clenched into the dirt.
"I don't even know who I am! My real name isn't even Rentaro!"
His breathing grew heavier.
"I woke up and everyone expected me to just… be someone I'm not. Do you know what that feels like? It feels like I'm walking around in a body that isn't mine. I'm disgusted by it, all of it."
The wind stirred lightly across the pond. Behind them, Lilou's laughter continued as she splashed the water with both hands.
Rentaro barely heard it.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to feel.
I don't know what I'm supposed to want."
His fingers loosened in the dirt, trembling slightly.
"...I'm lost."
The word came out quieter.
"...Completely lost."
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
Shizuka watched him silently, her expression unchanged, though her eyes had sharpened slightly.
Then she asked.
"…When did you arrive in this world?"
Rentaro blinked at her, the words not fully registering at first.
"…What?"
Shizuka didn't look away.
"…When did you wake up here?"
Rentaro stared.
The pond rippled quietly beside them as Lilou splashed the water with both hands, humming to herself.
"…I don't know," he said after a moment, confusion creeping into his voice. "…yesterday… I think."
His brows tightened.
"…Why are you asking me that?"
Shizuka held his gaze for a second longer.
"…Because, Rentaro. You're the same as me."
Rentaro froze.
"…What?"
"You don't belong to this world. And neither do I."
The words hung there, heavy.
For a moment, Rentaro could only stare at her.
Shizuka glanced toward the pond briefly, making sure Lilou was still distracted.
She was.
Then she looked back at him.
"…Two weeks ago," she said quietly, "I woke up here. I don't remember how I arrived, for a moment I was in my world and the next I awoke here."
"…You're saying…" he started, voice unsteady. "…you're like me?"
Shizuka nodded once.
"…Yes."
Rentaro looked down at the dirt beneath his hands, his thoughts racing.
All the confusion. The unfamiliarity. The feeling that something about this world was wrong.
He was right.
"…Rentaro, I believe we were fated to meet."
"…Fated?"
"This world's nature is much more strange than you could ever imagine."
Rentaro slowly lifted his head.
"You keep focusing on what you've lost," she said. "Your memories. Your past. Your name."
Her gaze lowered briefly toward the dirt where his hands were clenched.
"Those things are not what make you function. If you keep acting like a pathetic, walking corpse you'll make yourself believe that"
Rentaro frowned, confused.
"…Then what does?"
"Experience."
The word was simple.
"You don't have your memories," she said. "But your body still moves. You still react to things. You understand speech. You know how to walk, how to hold tools, how to interact with people. Although a bit lacklustered you are getting used to it."
She tilted her head slightly.
"That means your experiences still exist."
Rentaro stared at her.
"…That doesn't make any sense..."
"It doesn't have to," she replied calmly. "Your memories are gone. But whatever shaped you before you arrived here is still inside you."
Shizuka continued.
"You said you feel like a corpse walking around in someone else's life."
She paused.
"That is incorrect."
Rentaro started tearing up.
"You are alive," she said flatly. "You are thinking, questioning, reacting. A corpse cannot do that."
Her tone didn't change, but the words carried weight.
"What you are experiencing is confusion. Disorientation."
Rentaro didn't answer.
For a moment, the only sound was Lilou splashing the pond behind them.
Shizuka watched him quietly.
Shizuka's eyes narrowed slightly, her tone cold, sharp.
"The way you're acting… it's pathetic."
Rentaro flinched, though he didn't look away.
"You wander around, whining about what you've lost, paralyzed by what you can't remember… If you can't come to terms with your amnesia, you're a lost cause."
The words hit harder than anything he'd heard yet.
"Y-you're wrong!" he shouted, voice shaking.
Shizuka's gaze didn't waver.
"Then prove it."
Her expression softened just a fraction, but the edge remained.
"I'll help you regain your memories."
Rentaro blinked, uncertainty warring with hope.
"...And?"
Shizuka's lips curved into the barest hint of a smirk. Her undoubtedly disturbing aura manifested at that singular moment.
"In exchange…" she said evenly, "you'll help me return to my original world."
The words hung between them, a quiet contract forged in the middle of the path, the ripples of the pond behind them carrying only the faintest echo of Lilou's laughter.
"I'm not looking to be your friend, Rentaro." She said. "But I do believe you can help me."
Rentaro swallowed, feeling the weight of it settle in his chest.
"So, answer me honestly, what is it that you desire, Ren-ta-ro?"
"...i don't know-"
A thought passed through his mind, Shizuka's words touched him to a level far beyond anyone could, his mind was begging for a reason to fight, for a meaning to his life
Rentaro, the nameless man, a person whose will was non existent, finally realized it, the one thing he was willing to fight for, the only desires he could manifest
With teary eyes Rentaro answered
"...I-i want… I-I want… I want to experience it!" He shouted. "A-All of it, e-every aspect of it. I want to experience happiness, I want to experience anger, I want to feel empathy, I want to care for people, I want to feel disappointed, I want to eat good food, I want to smell beautiful smells, I want to feel something, anything!"
Shizuka regarded him silently, her expression unreadable, the cold edge in her eyes softening only slightly.
"I want… I want to experience life…"
"…That's a start," she said quietly, her voice calm but unwavering.
Rentaro's chest heaved, his hands trembling as tears streamed down his face. He felt as if a dam inside him had finally broken, years of numbness and confusion spilling out at once.
Lilou's laughter echoed faintly from the pond, but he barely noticed. He only felt the raw intensity of his own declaration, the weight of finally naming what had been festering in his chest.
Shizuka's gaze met his, sharp and precise, as if weighing every word he had just spoken.
Rentaro's hands dropped to his sides, the trembling easing slightly as he blinked up at her. The tension in his chest had not vanished, but it had shifted. Something hard and undefined inside him had started to take shape.
I… have a will now, he thought, staring at the pond, watching the ripples spread across the surface. Something to hold onto. Something that is mine.
He felt a spark of clarity for the first time in what felt like forever. Not full understanding, not certainty, but the faint pulse of purpose.
For the first time in his life, he didn't feel empty.
Behind him, Lilou's small voice rang out, breaking through his reverie.
"Rentaroo! Shizuu! Let's go back!"
Rentaro's face this whole time was a blank mess, but seeing Lilou made him smirk a little.
The sound was light, cheerful, and grounding. Rentaro looked at Shizuka, who gave the slightest nod, satisfied, before she began walking back. Lilou ran ahead, tugging at both their hands as she bounced back toward the café.
For the first time, Rentaro's steps were steady. His path was unclear, yes, but now he had a direction. He followed them, hand in hand, toward the café, toward a life he had finally chosen to fight for.
***
The bell above the café door chimed as the three of them stepped inside.
Warm air wrapped around them immediately, carrying the smell of simmering broth and toasted bread. The late afternoon light stretched across the wooden floor, turning the familiar room golden.
"We're back," said Shizuka.
Marlene looked up from the counter where she was preparing vegetables, knife pausing mid-cut.
"Welcome ba—"
Her voice stopped for a moment when her eyes landed on Rentaro.
It was subtle. Most people probably wouldn't have noticed.
But the blank weight that usually sat behind his eyes… wasn't there anymore.
Marlene didn't say anything about it. She simply smiled and returned to cutting.
"Perfect timing," she said casually. "Dinner will be ready soon."
Rentaro stood there for a second, adjusting the basket in his hands.
Something inside his chest stirred faintly.
Confusion?
Emptiness?
No, something warmer… something small but yet…
So this is what it feels like?
Before he could think about it further, a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.
Bernard.
"Back already?" he said with a grin.
Rentaro looked up at him.
"Yeah…"
Bernard gave his shoulder a firm pat.
"Good work, kid."
That was all he said before heading toward the table, already setting down bowls and cups.
The room slowly filled with quiet movement. Marlene cooking. Bernard preparing the table. Lilou bouncing between chairs while Shizuka calmly placed the stuff they bought from the market on the counter.
It felt… warming.
And for some reason, that made Rentaro stand still for a moment.
They all gathered around the table not long after.
Bowls of warm stew were placed in front of each of them, steam curling gently into the air.
Rentaro stared at the food.
Hunger.
Real, undeniable hunger.
When was the last time I ate…?
He picked up the spoon slowly.
The smell alone made his stomach tighten again.
Without thinking, he took the first bite.
And for the first time since waking up in this world—
It actually tasted like something.
He didn't know that food could taste this good, the texture, the taste, the smell, a surreal feeling.
Rentaro took another bite, this time a little faster.
Across the table, Marlene noticed.
Her eyes lingered on him for a moment, watching the way he ate, the slight widening of his eyes, the way he didn't seem to pause between bites.
A small smile crept onto her face.
"I made the stew," she added with a light shrug.
For a moment he just stared at her.
Then he glanced down at the bowl again.
"…It's really good," he said quietly.
Lilou nodded enthusiastically beside him, already halfway through her bowl.
Rentaro looked back at the stew in front of him.
Then he took another bite.
And another.
His body was quick to remind him of something he had apparently forgotten.
He was starving.
Rentaro finished the rest of the stew faster than he expected.
The warmth settled deep in his stomach, spreading through his body in a way that felt almost comforting.
Around the table, the conversation continued.
Lilou talked endlessly about the market, exaggerating parts of the story while Bernard laughed and Marlene occasionally corrected her.
By the time the meal ended, the sky outside the café windows had darkened into evening.
Chairs shifted as everyone stood up from the table. Marlene began gathering the empty bowls while Bernard stretched his arms with a satisfied sigh.
Lilou was already yawning.
Rentaro remained seated for a moment longer.
Thinking.
The sounds of the café continued around him. Marlene moving dishes. Bernard wiping the table. Lilou mumbling sleepily as she leaned against the chair.
"…You should rest."
Rentaro looked up.
Shizuka stood near the table, her arms loosely folded.
"You look exhausted," she added matter-of-factly.
Rentaro stared at her for a moment before letting out a quiet breath.
"Yeah…"
Rentaro pushed his chair back and
stood.
Lilou was already half asleep at the table, her head resting against her arms. Bernard chuckled quietly as he lifted her up, carrying her toward the hallway while she mumbled something incoherent.
Rentaro lingered for a moment longer, then turned toward the stairs.
The wooden steps creaked lightly under his weight as he climbed to the second floor.
One by one, the sounds of the café faded behind him.
By the time he reached the hallway, it was quiet.
He stepped into his room and closed the door.
For a moment he simply stood there.
Then his eyes drifted toward the mirror.
Looking at the mirror for a second time he felt different. Unlike the last time, now he felt something.
Not disgust.
Something… more valuable.
He felt reassurance, he didn't feel empty anymore.
Rentaro continued staring at his reflection.
The face in the mirror was still unfamiliar.
I don't know my real name…
I don't know where I came from…
I don't even know why I've been brought to this world…
Rentaro let out a slow breath.
"…Starting tomorrow," he murmured quietly.
His reflection looked back at him, silent.
"…I'll live as myself…"
Rentaro turned away from the mirror.
"…I'll experience it. Even if I have to discover myself piece by piece."
My name.
Is.
Rentaro.