"So, is Stefan here yet?" I asked Elena, sipping from my plastic red cup filled with cheap beer.
"I don't know," she replied, shifting uncomfortably.
"Jesus, just admit it, Elena." I groaned, rolling my eyes at Little Miss Innocent. "You think Peaches is hot and you want to jump his bones."
"Oh, okay… so he's a little pretty," she admitted sheepishly.
"Sure, a little pretty," I mimicked her voice. "That's why you were trading true-love stares in class. Seriously, it felt like Snow White and Prince Charming having eye sex."
"Did you just use Disney references with sex in the same sentence?" Elena asked, amusement dripping from her voice.
"Of course not," I grinned. "If I did, I would've said eye fucking instead."
"Seriously, Bonnie…" Elena sighed. "Sometimes you're the most responsible adult, and other times you sound worse than Care."
"It's my charm," I said proudly. I'd been reborn at thirty, now stuck in a teenage body with teenage hormones. Of course my conversations swung from serious to dirty in seconds.
"So Caroline told me you were stressed because of your Grams," Elena started carefully. "What's up?"
I gave her a blank look before sighing. In canon, they all knew about my supposed psychic powers from the pilot anyway. "My Grams has been hitting the bottle, claiming I'm psychic or a witch or some crap like that."
"Seriously?" Elena deadpanned.
"Yup. Complete crazy talk. Anyway, I'm going to find Caroline. Hopefully she's not man-eating some poor jock."
She nodded, and I left. No need to watch Stelena shooting "fuck me" eyes at each other. I'd catch the drama later when Vicky ran out of the woods bleeding.
"There you are, Buffy," I called when I found Caroline piss-drunk with some cheerleaders.
"Willow to my Buffy, what's up?" Care giggled at her own reference. I pulled her aside, pressed my hand to her temple, and whispered a spell. Instantly, my best friend wasn't acting like an uncontrollable child.
"Why did you do that?" she whined, conveniently forgetting the part about not behaving like a child.
"Because you were way too drunk, and I'll miss all the good vampire drama tonight if I have to babysit you," I said, rolling my eyes.
"What drama?" she asked, instantly intrigued. Of course she would—nobody loved drama more than the drama queen herself.
"Spoilers, darling," I grinned.
"Oh, come on, tell me," she pouted.
"Nope. Now let's go to the bridge to watch it happen." I tugged her along.
We reached the bridge just in time to see Stefan's eyes change. Caroline gasped—reading about it was one thing, seeing it was another. I, however, thought it was ridiculous that Elena saw a partial vampire change and didn't find it weird.
His eyes literally turned red with black veins. That's not a lighting issue. Even Bella Swan figured it out faster than Elena. She was officially below Bella on the stupid scale—and that's saying something.
We had a few more drinks before Elena's scream split the night. "Somebody help!" She and Jeremy stumbled out of the woods, carrying a bloodied Vicky. Caroline's eyes went wide, but I whispered, "She'll survive." She exhaled in relief.
We turned to see Stefan, struggling and failing to control himself, before vanishing into the night.
"Somebody call an ambulance!" Matt shouted.
"On it, Mattie," I said, dialing 911.
Oh well. What a party.
Matt went with Vicky to the hospital. Eventually, Caroline, Elena, and I were the only ones left.
"Hey, we're gonna go to Mainline Coffee, wait for news," Caroline said. Coffee sounded good.
"I gotta take Jeremy home," Elena said tiredly.
"Elena… watch your back," I warned, my voice serious. "This is only the beginning."
"You're sober, right?" I asked later, as Caroline sighed into her coffee.
"Yes, thanks to you," she replied. "Wish I wasn't."
"Then finish drinking," I said, rolling my eyes. "I gotta get you home. I gotta get me home."
"Why didn't he go for me?" she asked miserably. "Why do the guys I want never want me?"
"We all know Buffy and Peaches never worked, hon. You need your Spike instead, yeah?" I said, trying to lift her mood.
"You say that, but still… He's the new hot guy in town, and he falls for Elena. Typical." Caroline ranted. "I'm inappropriate. I always say the wrong thing. Elena always says the right thing. She doesn't even try, and he picks her. She's always the one everyone picks—for everything. And I try so hard, but I'm never the one."
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I like you just the way you are. Elena's got a Petrova vajayjay—it's basically a curse. Hot guys are drawn to doppelgängers like moths to a flame. And they all end up screwed. Amara was cursed into stone for two thousand years. Tatia got killed by a lover. Katherine was hunted for five centuries and died. Elena ends up in a coma. It's a bloodline thing."
"What?" Caroline asked, confused.
"Future references. You'll get them eventually," I said, finishing my coffee. "I'm going to the ladies' room."
When I returned, Caroline was all smiles.
"What's up, Care?" I asked, grabbing my jacket and keys. I needed my bed after all this drama.
"This hot dude just smiled at me," she said, clapping happily.
"Tall, dark, handsome? Blue eyes? Leather jacket?" I asked, scanning the Grill.
"Yeah, how did you know?" she asked, curious.
"That's Damon Salvatore. Stefan's vampire brother. I did mention he's unstable right now?"
"Well, no wonder you said he was hot," she sighed dreamily. "I might be kinky enough to have sexy time with a bloodsucker if they all look like that."
"Just remember—drink your vervain, and drop my name. Make it clear I'll fry his brain until he jumps into the sun without his ring if he hurts you." I said seriously, pulling her toward the car.
"Now let's go home. Tomorrow, more drama awaits."
I sighed inwardly. I really needed a vacation from this hellhole.