Cold, trembling.
Natsuki Subaru opened his eyes. Reflected in his gaze was a cheerful, energetic-looking girl, who was staring at him with a worried expression.
"Excuse me, are you alright?"
"Your expression looked really awful just now. Are you feeling unwell somewhere?"
Natsuki Subaru's pupils constricted as he looked at the familiar yet strange school uniform the girl was wearing.
He didn't say much, instead silently shifting his gaze to survey his surroundings.
A bus that, aside from its color, perfectly matched the one in his memory. It was the past he had dreamed of returning to.
'Is this an illusion?'
'Or maybe...'
Natsuki Subaru began to think.
Ever since Rem's death had led to Ram relentlessly hunting him down, Natsuki Subaru's way of handling such situations had always been a simple and direct self-termination. A quick restart.
Thinking of this, Natsuki Subaru subconsciously touched his neck.
The scar that once seemed impossible to erase was gone. The skin Natsuki Subaru touched had no scars at all, just like... just like when he had first stepped out of the convenience store and been transported to another world.
'Should I end it myself?'
'If I'm going to, I should do it quickly. If I delay and the save point updates to a very disadvantageous time, things will get troublesome.'
From a wretched, fleeing wanderer to the world-shaking Purge King, Natsuki Subaru had experienced countless desperate situations.
Situations where delaying too long made his return point incredibly awkward were not unheard of, so whenever Natsuki Subaru encountered a problem he couldn't understand or solve in a short time, he would prioritize self-termination.
And most importantly, Natsuki Subaru could not accept living in a place full of lies and deception.
Reinhard was not as dazzlingly brilliant as he had imagined, showing pity and regret for a sinner as heinous as himself.
Emilia was the same, not as spotless as he had thought. The foundation of their relationship was still built on deceit, which he simply could not accept.
Only Ram, and the now-deceased Beatrice, remained real. They were the absolute, genuine article.
At this thought, Natsuki Subaru no longer hesitated. Before the terrified eyes of the girl in front of him, he twisted his own neck. Amidst the chaos and screams on the bus, he gradually lost consciousness.
...
'Looks like it's the worst possible outcome.'
'The return point has updated. There's no way to go back to an earlier time anymore.'
Natsuki Subaru leaned slightly against the bus window, looking at the girl standing before him with a concerned expression.
"Sorry... I just had a nightmare," Natsuki Subaru said softly to the girl.
After a moment's hesitation, perhaps spurred by a sudden impulse from the depths of his heart, Natsuki Subaru continued, asking the girl, "Excuse me, I forgot to bring my phone. Could I borrow yours to make a call to my family?"
Now, Return by Death was useless, and the many powerful individuals who once served under him were gone. Natsuki Subaru had no way to deal with this clearly abnormal world he was in.
The world before him was familiar, yet it felt even more alien to Natsuki Subaru.
After being transported to another world, Natsuki Subaru had gone through countless loops. The memories of his dozen or so years before that had long been pushed into a corner, occupying a negligible part of his mind.
If you were to add up all the time from his loops, Natsuki Subaru had already lived for decades, even centuries.
But even so, Natsuki Subaru found it increasingly difficult to suppress the feeling in his heart.
If, besides Ram and the deceased Beatrice, there was anyone else who could be a 'genuine article' to Natsuki Subaru, it would have to be them.
'If it's them...'
A faint, almost imperceptible glint of light suddenly flashed in Natsuki Subaru's eyes, which had long been devoid of life.
"O-Of course you can."
"After all, it seems we won't be able to contact the outside world once we get to the school, so it's only right to talk to your family one last time."
After hearing Natsuki Subaru's words, the girl hesitated for a moment but still smiled and agreed to his request, taking out her phone and handing it to him.
After what happened in middle school, the girl no longer trusted anything online.
Her phone certainly didn't contain anything that she wouldn't want others to see.
"Thank you very much."
Natsuki Subaru noticed the girl's insincerity, but he didn't care.
The world was inherently full of lies and deception; the girl's insincerity was perfectly normal.
With a tremor in his hands unnoticeable to the average person, Natsuki Subaru took the phone the girl offered and, with a mix of familiarity and strangeness, dialed a series of numbers long buried deep in his heart.
Behind that number were the people Natsuki Subaru truly wanted to rely on.
"Beep... beep..."
The number was out of service.
Natsuki Subaru returned the phone to the girl, his face expressionless.
"Maybe they're busy with something."
"It's okay. We'll only be at the school for three years, and I hear the facilities are very complete."
Seeing that Natsuki Subaru's call didn't go through, the girl quickly tried to comfort him, saying, "By the way, what's your name? My name is Kikyo Kushida."
"Once we get to the school, we'll have to turn in our phones. It seems they'll issue us special ones for use on campus."
"Let's add each other as friends then. My dream is to be friends with everyone."
Kikyo Kushida grinned as she sent a pre-emptive friend request to Natsuki Subaru.
From just that brief initial contact, Kikyo Kushida sensed that Natsuki Subaru must have some interesting secret. She wanted to become friends with him and learn the secret hidden deep within his heart.
'What kind of secret could it be?'
'Is it something conventional, like family problems, or something else?'
'Making a call right before getting to school, not having a phone, and the number being out of service... It must be a family-related secret after all.'
"Natsuki Subaru. Perhaps."
Natsuki Subaru simply nodded at Kikyo Kushida's words, not paying them much mind.
Compared to the somewhat overly-eager Kikyo Kushida, Natsuki Subaru was more focused on a boy sitting in the last row.
'There's something... off about that guy's eyes.'
The moment their eyes met, both Natsuki Subaru and the boy in the back row came to the same conclusion.
___
🔥 New stories are available now! 🔥
New Story: COTE: Collect All the CGs
✅ Access up to 40 advanced chapters of ALL stories!
✅ Receive exclusive content and updates!
Help us hit our community goals:
🎯 100 Powerstones = +1 Bonus Chapter for everyone
🚀 140 MEMBERS = +5 extra chapters of ALL STORIES!
👻 P - Walnutchan