"Oi, kid, I can tell just by looking at you—you don't know the latest gossip going around the ninja world."
Jiraiya slung an arm around Kenichi Amemiya's shoulder like they were old buddies, grinning from ear to ear.
"Oh?"
Kenichi glanced sideways at him, calmly checking for any killing intent or genjutsu. Nothing. So he just waited to see what kind of nonsense the old pervert was about to spout.
"I'll tell you something big," Jiraiya lowered his voice mysteriously. "According to reliable intel… the Sannin Orochimaru—the one with the same name as me—is actually a woman."
Kenichi's expression froze for a second, then showed just the right amount of shock and disbelief.
That wasn't acting.
He was genuinely stunned.
…How the hell did that rumor get out?
Sure, ever since leaving Konoha, Orochimaru had used Living Corpse Reincarnation and taken over Yuki's body. From a strict biological perspective, yeah—currently a girl.
But on the surface, Orochimaru still used his original face. Same voice, same cold aura, same "I will dissect you" energy. Very few people even knew his real body had been swapped, and Kenichi had no idea where that old shell had ended up—preserved or recycled into experiments, most likely.
He had definitely mentioned the truth to Sasori.
Nagato also knew.
But those two were absolutely not the "run around gossiping" type.
So how did this "Orochimaru is a woman" leak… and get all the way to Jiraiya's ears?
Seeing the shock in Kenichi's eyes, Jiraiya's grin grew even prouder.
He hadn't believed it at first either. But the rumor spread wider and wider. Eventually, he'd dug a little deeper and found the source—a bounty-nin.
That guy claimed he'd been on the Konoha–Kumo battlefield and personally seen "Heaven's Demon" blow apart Orochimaru's face-skin with some unknown technique, revealing a stunning beauty underneath—golden hair, flawless features.
The bounty-nin was an old-timer, known in that circle for not talking nonsense. With him backing it, lots of people started to take the rumor seriously.
"As expected of my rival, huh? Even your rumors are dramatic," Jiraiya muttered in his heart.
He himself hadn't really bought it…
Until one rainy night, a bit drunk, he started wondering:
What if it's true?
What if Orochimaru really is a woman now?
And then… inspiration struck.
Fueled by alcohol and curiosity, his pen flew across the paper. By the time he sobered up the next morning and looked at the stack of pages he'd written, Jiraiya himself was stunned.
But since it was already written…
Might as well see if it could sell, right?
"So then, you…" Kenichi's expression twisted slightly.
He seriously thought this man's courage was too big for his own good.
If Orochimaru ever saw that manuscript, Kenichi was 99% sure his teacher would absolutely explode. Orochimaru had been pretty calm recently, but that was now—not a permanent personality trait. Given what Kenichi knew of him, Jiraiya's "creative freedom" was the fastest way to trigger a true rampage.
"Ahem. Pure artistic expression," Jiraiya coughed, looking off to the side.
He'd basically already decided what to write next, too.
And the more he thought about it… the more plausible it seemed that Orochimaru really could be a woman now. That guy was always creepy, always messing with dangerous experiments. Turning himself into a woman at some point? Not exactly impossible.
Jiraiya obviously didn't realize that his wild guess was already brushing right up against the truth. Orochimaru had developed a forbidden technique and was, in fact, living in this world under a completely new identity.
"Then Jiraiya-sama, you really are impressive," Kenichi said with a very serious face.
Why wouldn't he praise him?
Jiraiya wrote it, not Kenichi.
If Orochimaru ever saw it, he'd go for Jiraiya's throat first, not his disciple's.
And if teacher went to hunt Jiraiya down…
Didn't that mean Kenichi could enjoy a long, quiet period of uninterrupted research?
Honestly, it sounded great.
After that, Kenichi politely handed the manuscript back. He had zero intention of keeping a copy. If Orochimaru ever found that thing in his room, there'd be no explaining it. The joke would stop being funny very quickly.
Jiraiya didn't insist either. He happily took his pages and strutted toward the black market entrance, already imagining future readers gasping, blushing, and maybe throwing money at him.
Kenichi finally relaxed.
He'd really been worried Jiraiya would suddenly turn sharp and notice something off about him. For all his playful nonsense, the man was still one of the Legendary Sannin—battle instincts and ninja IQ both very real.
Sure, in the original timeline he died in his student Nagato's hands…
But even then, he'd pried out a mountain of intel before going down.
A real monster of a ninja.
"…Hopefully that book never actually ends up on a store shelf," Kenichi muttered, rubbing his temple. "Although, sensei doesn't really read casual books, so maybe I'm safe."
Just imagining Orochimaru opening a book titled "The Story Between Me and Lady Orochi" made his scalp go numb.
If Jiraiya ever dared to hold a signing event for that thing, there was a non-zero chance that the next day's headline across the ninja world would be:
"The Three Legendary Sannin Clash in Public – Village Destroyed in Crossfire!"
Kenichi used to think that guys with big tattoos and flashy hair were the real menaces. Growing up, he'd watched his fair share of gangster movies—punks with dyed hair and knives always causing chaos.
Then, in his previous life, the quiet baozi-seller uncle from his neighborhood finally snapped once.
After that…
Kenichi understood.
The ones who look honest and mild are the scariest when they do lose it.
"Sensei?"
Kenichi dragged the unconscious man all the way back to the hidden base entrance… and immediately saw a familiar figure standing there, back turned, facing the rock wall.
Orochimaru.
"So it's you, Kenichi," Orochimaru glanced back at him, golden hair swaying slightly as she moved.
Her eyes briefly swept over the "cargo" he was dragging. She didn't ask. It was obviously a new test subject.
Kenichi, on the other hand, suddenly felt very complicated.
He'd just spent the last while reading a smutty draft where "Lady Orochi" was described in agonizing detail—every curve, every movement, every expression carefully sensual, charming, impossible to forget.
Including one scene where "Lady Orochi" bent over to pick up a key.
Jiraiya's descriptive power in that passage…
Yeah. It was something.
So now, standing here, watching his teacher perform facial recognition at the entrance—golden hair, fine features, that naturally cold aura—Kenichi couldn't help but feel his nose itch.
He honestly couldn't tell if he should confess:
"Sensei, I just finished reading your… uh… doujin."
He wisely chose silence.
Some things were better left buried in his heart.
Note: Want to see what happens long before anyone else? Read up to Chapter 159+ on patreon.com/nakai01 and support the story with a Power Stone.