[MORNING – SCHOOL GATE]
The School Festival was in full swing.
Students ran around carrying yakisoba. A band was playing off-key in the courtyard.
At the gate, an old man stood adjusting his hat.
He wore a beige cardigan, thick glasses, and walked with a cane. He looked like a harmless grandfather here to see his grandkids.
He was actually General Hargrove, Commander of the National Defense Force.
Mission: Assess the 'Serpent's Nest'. Verify the biological and psychological weaponry reported in Sector 3B.
"Radio check," Hargrove whispered into his collar.
"Loud and clear, General," the van outside replied. "Unit Zero is on standby disguised as the Takoyaki vendors."
"Good. Going in."
[CLASSROOM 3B – THE DEAD MAID CAFE]
The line for Class 3B stretched down the hall.
Hargrove joined the queue. He noticed the students leaving the cafe. They were pale. Shaking. Some were crying.
"Best... experience... ever..." one sobbed.
Hargrove narrowed his eyes. Psychological conditioning confirmed.
He reached the front.
"Welcome, Master," a deep voice rumbled.
Hargrove looked up.
Standing at the door was Daisuke Tanaka. He was wearing a frilly black maid outfit. It was three sizes too small. His biceps were shredding the sleeves. He held a chainsaw.
"Table for one?" Daisuke growled, revving the chainsaw (no chain, but the noise was deafening).
Hargrove didn't flinch. He had stared down tanks.
"One," Hargrove said.
"Right this way. Watch your step. The grave soil is fresh."
[THE TABLE]
Hargrove was seated at a table made from a tombstone.
"Your server will be with you shortly," Daisuke said, slamming a menu down. The menu was written in red ink (blood?).
Hargrove scanned the room.
Coffins lining the walls. Real bones used as centerpieces. The lighting is created by an unstable high-voltage arc.
"This violates every safety code in the Geneva Convention," Hargrove muttered.
"Hello!"
Hargrove looked up.
Noah Sato stood there. He was wearing a butler's vest (and the weighted armor underneath, making his steps heavy and ominous).
"I'm Noah, your Ghost Butler for today," Noah smiled. "Can I get you started with some 'Poison Tea'?"
Hargrove stiffened.
Poison Tea. The biological agent Nana sent.
"I'll try it," Hargrove challenged. "And the 'Severed Finger Sandwiches'."
"Coming right up, Grandpa!"
[THE TASTE TEST]
Noah returned with a tray.
On it was a cup of green sludge (Nana's immunity juice) and sandwiches shaped like fingers (using ketchup for blood).
"Here you go," Noah said cheerfully.
Hargrove picked up the cup. It glowed faintly.
If I drink this, I prove my resilience, Hargrove thought. A General does not fear a child's brew.
He drank it.
IMPACT.
Hargrove's eyes bulged. His internal organs screamed. The taste was like licking a mossy rock covered in battery acid.
He slammed the cup down. He didn't cough. He didn't gag. He forced it down with sheer willpower.
"Robust," Hargrove wheezed, his voice an octave higher.
Noah clapped.
"Wow! You drank the whole thing! Even Lilly couldn't do that without crying."
"I... have... an iron stomach," Hargrove gasped.
"You must be very strong for your age," Noah said. "Do you want to try the Electric Chair? It's good for back pain."
Hargrove looked at the chair sparking in the corner.
"I will pass."
[THE CONFRONTATION]
Noah leaned in close.
"So," Noah whispered. "Are you enjoying the festival... General?"
Hargrove froze. His hand went to his hidden sidearm.
He knows. He saw through the disguise instantly.
"How did you know?" Hargrove asked, his voice low and dangerous.
Noah pointed to Hargrove's shoes.
"You're wearing military-issue combat boots," Noah said. "And you walk like the drill instructor in the movies."
(Noah actually just thought he looked like a cool veteran).
Hargrove relaxed his hand.
"You are observant," Hargrove admitted.
"Thanks! Nana says shoes tell a story."
Noah picked up the empty cup.
"So, did we pass the inspection?" Noah asked.
Hargrove paused.
Inspection? He thinks I'm here officially? He treats the Commander of the Defense Force like a health inspector?
"The... atmosphere is effective," Hargrove said. "The 'tea' is lethal. The staff is... terrifying."
He looked at Daisuke, who was currently threatening a customer into buying a cookie.
"You have created a fortress, Sato."
"It's just a cafe," Noah laughed.
"Of course," Hargrove stood up. His legs were still shaking from the poison tea. "Keep it that way."
He placed a bill on the table. A $100 bill.
"Keep the change," Hargrove said.
"Wow! Thanks!"
[OUTSIDE]
Hargrove stumbled out of the classroom. He leaned against the wall, sweating profusely.
"General!" the Takoyaki vendor (Unit Zero agent) whispered. "Status?"
"Hostile environment confirmed," Hargrove gasped. "He poisoned me. Then he mocked my boots. Then he extorted me for one hundred dollars."
"Should we abort?"
"No," Hargrove straightened his cardigan. "Upgrade his threat level to 'National Asset'. Anyone who can make tea that bad... is a weapon we cannot afford to lose."
[BACK INSIDE]
Noah waved the $100 bill at Lilly.
"Look! That old grandpa gave us a huge tip!"
Lilly looked at the door.
"Noah," she said. "That was General Hargrove."
"Who?"
" The head of the military."
"Oh," Noah said. "Well, he has good taste in tea."
He put the money in the register.
"We're gonna make a killing today, Lilly!"
Lilly sighed.
"Please don't use that phrasing."