"What!!!"
Keqing's scream nearly tore off the roof of the Yuehai Pavilion, and the documents in her hand scattered all over the floor with a rustle.
Uncle Tian, who was holding a teacup nearby, trembled violently, spilling hot tea all over himself. Yet, he seemed oblivious, his mouth wide open, his beard quivering.
"Are you saying! That lawless group of Honorary Knights! Brought the Dendro Archon from Sumeru! That God of wisdom, Lesser Lord Kusanali! To Liyue?!!"
Keqing's voice rose several octaves due to extreme shock, her purple eyes wide and round, as if she had just heard news of Teyvat's imminent destruction.
"Yes..."
Ningguang responded weakly, the Tianquan who was usually poised, elegant, and strategic, now slumped ungracefully over her expensive sandalwood desk, her face buried deep in her arms, emitting a muffled, despairing sound.
"They... they just now, so brazenly and openly, brought that seemingly happy little Dendro Archon, boarded my Jade Chamber, and told me personally... then asked if I wanted to go to Wanmin Restaurant for a meal..."
She lifted her head, revealing dark circles under her eyes that looked like heavy smoky makeup, her gaze hollow, as if she had experienced the greatest ups and downs of life.
"I'm just glad now that those idiots from the Sumeru Akademiya don't seem to have realized their God is missing yet... At least communications haven't exploded."
Keqing clutched her forehead, feeling her blood pressure surge. She painstakingly squeezed out the question from between her teeth: "Where... are... they... now...?"
Ningguang didn't answer immediately. Instead, with a trembling hand, she silently pulled out a colored photograph from a pile of urgent documents, and handed it to Keqing with extreme solemnity, as if it were a hot potato.
Keqing took the photo, and with just one glance, her vision went black, nearly following in Uncle Tian's footsteps (spilling tea on herself).
The background of the photo was clearly the bustling, lively streets of Cihua Rock.
But the main subjects of the picture were incredibly bizarre, enough to give any Liyue official who saw it a heart attack:
Center: The cool and exquisitely beautiful adeptus disciple Shenhe, still maintaining her iconic, mountain-shaking, world-conquering princess carry pose, steadily holding Liyue's top intelligence officer—Yelan!
And Yelan, the always mysterious and elegant Queen of the Night, was now facing the camera, forced to raise one hand, making an incredibly stiff 'peace sign' filled with despair and a sense of public execution, her face a forced smile on the verge of tears.
Clearly, this 'intimate photo' was not taken willingly.
Beside them: The smiling Sumeru Dendro Archon, Nahida, was standing on tiptoe, happily holding hands with another little loli of similar height.
That little loli had long brown hair, with faint dragon-horn-like decorations visible in her hair, and her eyes held a mix of curiosity and disdain—it was none other than Azhdaha, who had previously been loli-fied in a strange way by Elliot!
The two 'God-tier' lolis seemed to be sharing a candied hawthorn skewer, the scene so 'harmonious' it sent shivers down one's spine.
Background: Jesse, Elliot, Zane in Hilichurl form, along with the giant Matt (who had to bend over), and Lumine and Paimon, each holding several Liyue snacks—sugar paintings, roasted Cihua fish, Mora meat, lotus seed and bird's egg soup... eating with oily mouths and satisfied expressions, completely like a tourist group.
The Wolf King elegantly followed at the very end, holding a cup of milk tea, as if serving as the tour group's butler and bodyguard.
And in the most tragic corner, at the very edge of the photo: The Fatui Eleventh Harbinger, Childe Tartaglia, was deeply embedded in the bluestone pavement of the street, head down, feet up, in a headstand, with only his two legs still twitching unconsciously.
He even maintained his Foul Legacy transformation, his handsome purple armor now covered in mud, looking utterly disheveled. Beside him, an arrow made of small stones pointed at him, with text (in very Hilichurl-like handwriting) that read: "Challenger · Defeated · Buried Here."
No need to guess, it must have been his heart, keen on challenging the strong, that couldn't be restrained, leading him to provoke the quartet, only to be instantly defeated by them in some absurd way and turned into a street decoration.
Keqing's hand holding the photo began to tremble uncontrollably.
Uncle Tian leaned over for a look, immediately gasped, and retreated backward, clutching his heart: "Nonsense! Utter nonsense! What an outrage! What an outrage!"
Ningguang buried her face in her arms again, letting out a desperate groan: "I just hope they don't cause any more trouble... Also, Yelan's bonus and confidentiality allowance for this month must be tripled! Mental distress compensation!"
Meanwhile, at the best tea stall on the corner of Cihua Rock street.
Zhongli held a steaming, fragrant cup of top-grade "Qiaoying Village" new tea, his gaze distant as he looked into the distance.
The little Dendro Archon, Nahida, and the equally small Azhdaha, were squatting in front of a sugar painting stall, the two 'little ones' pointing at the dragon-shaped and Aranara-shaped sugar paintings, emitting soft, gentle laughter.
Sunlight spilled on them, making the scene look warm yet... bizarre.
Zhongli watched silently, raised his teacup, elegantly blew on it, and then... "Ah—"
A long, heavy sigh, filled with endless vicissitudes and a hint of relief, slowly escaped his lips.
The lingering sound of this sigh twisted and turned, enough to make even the sparrows on the nearby tree feel the complex emotions.
He subtly, and extremely slowly, shifted a small step to the side, adjusting his standing position.
This angle was just right, perfectly revealing the two other women he had been blocking with his tall figure.
One was Hu Tao, the mischievous and endlessly energetic Director of the Wang Sheng Funeral Parlor.
The other was Guizhong, the God of Dust.
At this moment, these two 'extraordinary women' who had transcended the river of time were conversing happily, one might even say... regretting they hadn't met sooner!
Hu Tao was gesticulating wildly, spitting as she enthusiastically pitched to Guizhong: "...So you see! Our 'Wang Sheng Funeral Parlor Exclusive: Reunion Across a Thousand Years Package'! It's especially suitable for clients like you! Profound in meaning, with extremely high commemorative value! Order now and receive an epitaph personally crafted by me and polished by our consultant! Guaranteed to be brilliantly written and passed down through the ages!"
Guizhong's eyes lit up as she listened. Far from feeling uncomfortable, she clapped her hands excitedly: "Wonderful! Little Director, your idea is truly unique! It embodies 'reunion' within 'passing on,' seemingly opposite, but actually containing the true meaning of reincarnation! Interesting, truly interesting!"
She even pulled out a small notebook (no one knew where it came from) and started taking notes seriously.
"Can I get an extra 'epitaph discount'? I have an old friend named Marchosius; he might need one someday..."
Zhongli: "..."
The hand holding the teacup trembled slightly. He began to seriously ponder whether 'waking up' Guizhong was an absolutely correct decision.
His gaze swept across the scene again:
To his left, the Dendro Archon from Sumeru and the Dragon King of Liyue were gnawing on sugar paintings.
To his right, the current Director of the Wang Sheng Funeral Parlor and an ancient God were enthusiastically discussing funeral service discount packages.
A little further away, there was Yelan, forced into affection by Shenhe, looking utterly despairing.
Even further away, four Hilichurl-shaped visitors from another world were trying to teach Paimon how to blow bubbles with Slime condensate.
And in the photo's background, a Fatui Harbinger was stuck headfirst in the ground.
Chaos and pandemonium, that's what this scene was.
However, facing this chaotic spectacle that would send any nation's leader's blood pressure soaring and scalp tingling, Mr. Zhongli, the former Rex Lapis, after taking another sip of fragrant tea, slowly allowed a subtle, extremely relaxed curve to form on his previously slightly tense lips.
His inner monologue began to furiously scroll: 'It's a bit chaotic... and truly absurd...'
'But...'
'Lesser Lord Kusanali's smile is very genuine, and Azhdaha also seems to be enjoying herself... (though her appearance is a bit hard to look at)'
'Guizhong... Guizhong is smiling very happily, even starting to discuss funeral designs with Hu Tao... (Is this not the main point?)'
'Yelan... well, she looks very 'fulfilled.' (Spiritually)'
'As for Tartaglia... it's good for young people to experience more setbacks. (Being buried in the dirt counts as a form of setback education, right?)'
Finally, all his thoughts converged into a heartfelt exclamation:
He was now very, very, very glad that he had retired!
If the sky falls, Ningguang will hold it up; for divine diplomatic issues, there are those four Hilichurls... er, 'Honorary Knights' to handle it. As for minor neighborhood chaos? Leave it to Keqing and the Millelith.
A retired old man's life is about drinking tea, watching a show, and incidentally appreciating the myriad human experiences (dramas) performed by old friends and new acquaintances.
This life, besides occasionally having to worry about how his own posthumous affairs might be designed, truly... Morax would be so envious he'd retire again.