Vera
"It has been quite a pleasure for me" He says with a smile and I can't help but feel nauseous. Without wasting another moment I take out my sword and drive it through him. He looks at me with an expression of disbelief as if he didn't expect something so outrageous from a lady like me.
Now that's the fun part, they never expect a lady like me to.....well drive a sword through their heart. I pull out my sword and do it again and again and again until my rage is gone. After stabbing his body I drop it in the lake for the fishes and alligators to eat.
I walk away from the lake and spot a tree at a distance. I walk towards the tree and and sit down there and pull out a book that I haven't finished yet. The details are a little blurry and I can't really make out the words so it's pointless to try to read right now. I'll be reading it later when my mind is at a right place. For now I just wish to sit below this tree and enjoy the scenery. This is the place I am happiest at but not to my surprise my peace doesn't last long as I hear my name being shouted like I have committed a murder.
"Vera you must get up right this moment" I hear my sister's voice calling out my name and waking me up from my sweet dream. "What happened Cecelia?" I ask my sister who has been shouting my name like the house is on fire. "Mother is outraged because you have not woken up yet and Lord Donnelly is about to arrive. she expects him to ask for your hand in marriage today"
I almost throw up at that thought. "let her stay outraged because he can marry an actual cow for all I care" I say and lie back down on my bed again but Cecelia takes my blanket away. "Do not talk like that Vera. He is a fine gentlemen and will keep you happy. Not to mention he is extremely wealthy and will take care of us" She says and I roll my eyes. She notices and starts lecturing me yet again "Vera why must you be so hard. Can you not see how we are suffering financially? We both must get married to a good family so our family does not have to suffer anymore"
She says trying to blackmail me emotionally but to her disappointment it does not work on me. I get up and take her hand in mine "Cecelia look at me and have some faith." I point my finger towards my latest novel that I have been writing for over 4 months. "Once I become a famous author I can indeed support our family financially and both of us will not have to get married for money" I say enthusiastically but she looks at me like I'm a fool. Maybe I am for dreaming of something like that but it isn't impossible. Cecelia takes away her hand and looks at me like I'm a pitiful creature. "Vera it's good to have dreams but you also have to be realistic. You can not support us financially as a woman. I admit you have a great imagination but the world we live in does not allow women like us to afford luxury of having dreams" She says and she isn't completely wrong. I understand where she is coming from but I can not give up on my dreams so easily and I am most certainly not marrying an old lord just so my family can survive.
"Listen I have almost finished writing that Novel and once it's done, I will get it published under a penname. No one would know it's written by woman and perhaps it would sell better" I say trying to get a positive reaction out of her but not so surprisingly I fail to get so.
She carcasses my cheek with her hand and says "Vera you must think of us before your dreams. We are your family" I am speechless and not have a word to say to her. When I don't say anything she gets up and tells me to get ready and look presentable. As she's about to leave our youngest sister Ellie walks in. Despite being only 7 she is quite smart and can read a lot already. I have high hopes for her future. I won't let her suffer or get married off for money like so many Young ladies nowdays.
"Hey Vera what did you do in your dream tonight? You said last time you-" I cover her mouth before she can say anything further. Cecelia looks at us suspiciously but lets it go. "You two and your weird conversations" She says shaking her head and leaves the room. "did we not talk about my dreams being a secret last time?" I ask Ellie still covering her mouth and she nods. "Do you promise to watch what you say from now on?" I ask her and she nods again so I let go of her. "Vera is it really true that you are aware in your dreams and can do whatever you want in it?" She asks me yet again even though I have told her multiple times that yes I can do that. "Yes Ellie I can do that flawlessly" I say pinching her nose and getting up to get ready...Not for Lord Donelley but because I have to get ready anyway. "Can you teach me how I can do it too? I want to learn it and eat a mountain of pies in my dreams" She says and I chuckle. "It's not a skill that I can teach Ellie, it just happened to me one day" I say and she pouts again.
"Young lady you better be ready in a few moments. Lord Donnelly has arrived and we can not have him waiting for too long" I hear my mother shout from outside the Door and I roll my eyes. I put on my worst gown and get ready to head downstairs. "She'll be mad if you wear that" Ellie says and I chuckle. "I know" I say smiling at her. "He is so ugly do not marry him Vera" Ellie says while pulling the material of my gown. "Don't worry I won't. Now let's get going before I hear her shout again" I say and we head downstairs and as I appear in my mother's view her expression is noteworthy.
She starts glaring at me and I can already hear the lecture I am going to get after this meeting. "Ms. Vera it's a pleasure to see you again" Lord Donnelly looks me up and down and kisses my hand. I already feel nauseous. There is nothing wrong with this Man. He is nice and has been a gentleman so far but I don't trust most men and he is in his 40s now so it is hard to see him as a candidate for my husband. "The pleasure is mine Lord Donnelly" I say with gritted teeth and my mother gives the maids and my sisters a look as if to leave us alone. I look at Cecelia with pleading eyes giving her a telepathic message to not to leave me alone but the traitor does that anyway. I didn't expect much from her but it still hurt.
After they left we had small chat about his work. Correction....he kept talking about his work which bored me to death and in the end, the moment I had feared arrived. He took something out of his pocket and bent down on one knee. Doesn't his knee hurt because of his age? "Ms. Vera Rose Frost, would you give me the honor of marrying you?" He says looking at me with hopeful eyes and I even feel bad for moment for declining his offer but I have to. This isn't the life I want for myself or my sisters.
"Lord Donnelly" I take his hand and help him get up. He looks at me rather disappointed that I didn't immediately say yes. "I appreciate you and your efforts a lot. You have been a wonderful company to have but as much as I respect you and value your feelings, I must regrettably decline" I say and he stumbles back a few steps, I try to catch him but he refuses. "I .... See" He says and goes quiet for the next few moments. "Lord Donnelly are you fine?" I ask but he turns around abruptly and walks towards the exit door. "I will remember this insult Ms. Vera " He says and finally walks out of our house. Not a second later My Mother and sisters flood in. Mother extremely furious and shouting at me.
"Have you lost your mind Vera? Do you know how much of a good candidate he was. He has enough wealth and respect in society that we never would have had to worry about money?" She says furiously. "Mother he couldn't even get down on one knee properly. I could tell his knees were hurting. You want me to marry a man who could almost be my father's age?" I shout back at my Mother which just adds fuel to the fire. She doesn't say anything for a while and glares at me.
What happens in the next few moments startles me. Mother starts walking towards my room in rage and I am not sure what she is after until something comes to my mind. I run after her immediately. "Mother what are you doing?" She enters my room and starts looking for something while throwing my things here and there. I do not understand what she's planning to do at first but horror fills my eyes as she picks up my almost finished Novel which I have been working on for 4 months.
"This is the reason you have gone astray" She says and I shout "No Mother it is the reason we can have a different life. Our lives can change Mother. Once my Novel gets published-" Before I can finish my sentence she puts it all into the fire under the teapot. I immediately try to save it and put my hands into the fire to bring it out but Cecelia stops me.
"I'm sorry Vera but Mother is right. Writing has made you into a completely mad person. It was adorable as a hobby first but you have unfathomable dreams because of it now and we can not afford to have you go astray while you're nearing 20. You must get these ideas out of your head and get married " Cecelia says and I am left dumbfounded. I sit down at the floor and watch months of my work burn down to ashes as both of them leave my room I didn't even realise I had been crying until Ellie came to wipe my tears. "It's okay Vera you can write it again" She says trying to cheer me up but there is absolutely nothing that can cheer me up right now. I hug Ellie while crying as Cecilia's words repeat in my head.
I always thought Cecelia was harsh on the outside but in her heart she always believed in me and supported me but she clearly proved me wrong today.
As I walk through the park I spot a group of men having fun shooting targets. The sight sickens me. Not because men are playing and having fun but because there is not a woman in sight shooting with them.
The women are sitting and watching from aside while I can see in the eyes of two young women that wish to shoot with them but of course they are not allowed to while some men have been passing misogynistic comments about women extremely openly. Even if women are allowed to shoot with the men, they are told to tone themselves down or not to shoot too well for a lady which sickens me more.
Hold on a moment this scenario has happened before. This is from last month when my family went out with Lord Donnelly. Lord heavens I am in a dream again. When did I fall asleep?
However It's a good thing I did because nothing noteworthy awaits me in the reality.
As soon as I become aware that it is a dream I pull out my own shotgun and start shooting. It's just my target aren't the birds like others but the same men who were passing misogynistic comments a few moments earlier. Now of course I can not do something like this in reality hence I fulfill my desires in my own world. I'm sure there are many young ladies who wish to do the same in reality everytime they hear something misogynistic but they can not hence I am here taking out my rage.
It sounds so childish that I am letting out my rage in a dream this way but this is all I have and all I can do to make myself feel better.
As I am about to shoot another one of them, I find myself getting extremely rudely interrupted by a male voice.
"You missed that one" My eyes follow the voice only to land on a Man standing next to a tree while crossing his arms as if he has been watching it all in amusement. He isn't dressed for shooting so I suppose he isn't one of them. Perhaps it's an extra character my mind decided to throw in the dream?
I turn my gun towards him and he surrenders by putting both of his hands up in the air. "M'lady I suggest you put that down" This is new. Most of the time the people in my dreams listen to me and I do whatever I want with them.
"What are you doing?" I ask him and he shrugs while his hands are still up in the air. "what am I doing? What are you doing young lady?" He asks while getting closer holding the tip of my shotgun and putting it down .
"I mean why are you talking back?" I ask again but he just chuckles. "You mean why am I not letting you shoot me?" He says as if it's the most ridiculous question ever. "Yes" And he laughs again. "Do you realise how incredibly audacious that sounds young lady?" He says and I do realise how it sounds "what I mean is this is my dream and all these people are figments of my imagination so they all listen to me but you right now are not which has never happened before so yes I am asking you why are you not letting me shoot you?"
I ask with more elaboration this time. "Ohh that....." He says like it's a mundane matter. "Yes I demand an explaination" I say more firmly this time while pointing my gun at him. "How about we get rid of that little guy since you and I both know that it can't actually do any harm to me considering this is all your dream like you said young lady"
He makes a good point so I put down my gun and wait for him to give me an explaination but before he can start talking I suddenly hear Ellie's voice trying to wake me up. I look at him glaring and he just smiles "Next time for sure M'lady" He says bowing down politely. I glare at him before finally waking up "What happened Ellie?" I ask in sleepy voice.
"Father has finally returned from his business trip" I finally get a surge of happiness hearing that Father has returned. I rush downstairs while smiling and almost tripping but as soon as I reach downstairs my smile falters again as I see my mother. I give Father a hug and he kisses my forehead.
"How has my little girl been? Did you all miss me?" He says and I nod along with Ellie. "She is not so little anymore. She'll be 20 next month and still haven't secured a good match yet." Mother says while bringing snacks and tea while my Father just chuckles "what's the rush? There are plenty of good matches in London right now. I'm sure my beautiful daughter will have no shortage of proposals" Father says while sipping his tea.
"Now That's the issue is it not, She keeps rejecting all the proposals. Today she rejected Lord Donnelly." Mother says and father stops his tea midway to his mouth and for a moment I thought he is going to be mad at me but instead his reaction is exactly what I expected. "Thank goodness because that man looked even older than me even though I'm 13 years older than him" Father says and that makes me chuckle. He's the best. The only man I love whole heartedly.
"You have spoiled her with your love and given her so much freedom. The worst thing you ever did was teach her how to read and write. She entertains preposterous ideas like becoming an author and supporting us financially" She says and I'm reminded of what happened this morning again.
"Well you have made sure I can't do that now haven't you?" I say bitterly. And she glares at me once again. "Do not give me that attitude Miss. Do you know what you have lost today?" She says trying to suppress her anger. "An old Nincopoomp?" Ellie says making me and father burst out laughing but once my father stopped he asks me on a serious note "Vera What did you mean that your mother has made sure you can't do that anymore?" I look at my mother bitterly yet again but instead of responding I get up "why don't you ask her yourself" and start walking towards my room.
I close my room's door and look at the ashes of the Novel I spent months writing. I feel this unexplainable feeling of hurt inside my chest. I don't know how long I look at the ashes before I hear a gentle knock at my door. I know it's father.
"Come in" I say He enters the room and sits next to me silently. "Vera, I'm so sorry for what your mother did, if only I came here a bit early I wouldn't have let this happen" He says in an apologetic tone. "You don't have to be sorry Father. She is the one who should be apologizing not you" I say with the same bitter tone while thinking of what she did.
"I hate her so much sometimes" I say with a suppressing rage "but I also understand her. I understand why she does that and that she doesn't want us to suffer and just wishes a good and comfortable life for us and the fact that I understand is what hurts me even more" I say with tears starting to flow down my cheeks. "Do not mourn what's already lost my child, you'll find yourself sinking deeper into the grief, instead think of this as an opportunity to write an even better Novel" Father says while giving me a lot of new paper and ink along with a quill.
I immediately smile while receiving it and give him a warm hug. "Please don't make me marry for money" I say while crying and he gently pats my back. "I love you Father" I say with every emotion I am feeling right now. "I love you too my child" He says and I let go of him.
"Now write a story that makes people question if someone's imagination can actually be that good" He encourages me and I smile. "I will" I say while looking at the supplies he got me. He leaves my room after a few moments and I look at the supplies but the issue is I currently do not have any ideas. I want this story to be exceptional but I don't know where to begin except having thought of the names of the characters. My last work was exceptionally well ... At least l think it was but I don't remember much of it except for the basic plotline and the character's name.
For now I decide to go back to sleep and hopefully I won't find that weird dunderhead again in my dream.