Part 1
It's usually hard to tell whether he's joking or not because of his carefree tone of voice, but his voice sounded entirely sincere here.
"What? That's a terrible jo-"
Before I could finish my sentence, I felt a contortion in my stomach while simultaneously flying backwards.
"Guh!"
If it weren't for the railing, I would've fallen off the roof, but some of its hinges fell off and it began hanging off the ledge, creaking as I hugged my belly trying to subdue the pain.
There's a pulsing pain in my lower back and neck, and any oxygen I once had was now gone. As I fought for air, Remus began walking towards me.
"I can't even distinguish the you now versus the you I met in the alley." Because of the ringing in my ears, I can barely make out what he's saying.
He raises me into the air by my collar, my nosebleed drooping from the side of my cheek is now dripping off my chin. He opens his eyelids, his eyes roll until red pupils glare into my very own eyes.
"You will come to understand that your life here isn't a given, it's a privilege. Your privilege's existence will only continue to exist as long as you obey me."
I try squirming out of his grasp.
Despite my countless wiggles, I make no progress, his arms and posture remain unmoved.
I know that beyond Remus being an asshole, something about him seemed weird- like his reptile eyes that he conceals and his inhuman regeneration. And although I've only known him for a week, and most of our conversations were just butting heads, he reminded me of my old high school friends who'd jokingly pick on me.
So why would he go this far?
"Wh-"
"Why?" He intercepted me, squinting his eyes at my unfinished question.
His grip would loosen, and so would his visible frustration on his face.
He's laughing at me…
"Why would I go this far? I thought we were friends!" He mocks, his voice matching my own. He drops his voice into something far more serious before saying, "in this world, there are no friends. There are only exchanges."
He points to kids below chasing each other with his other hand.
"Those kids only chase each other all day because it's entertaining for them both."
He closes his fist, tight enough to see his veins protruding in his wrists.
"If I were to snap one of those kid's legs, do you think the rest of the group would stop for them? Do you think they'd rather spend time looking after the cripple instead of continuing to play with those who could still run?"
He drops me to the ground, standing above me while looking out into the city.
"Humans have a tendency to sugarcoat things to make their lives seem more meaningful than they already are…"
He pauses, considering something before finally looking down at me. Tilting his head caused shadows to overcast his eyes.
"When I hunt packs of animals, if I capture one, the rest flee without hesitation. They know that even if they saved the injured, they'd be more a nuisance than resourceful. That's not cowardice. Cowardice is hiding behind the truth."
He crouches down, painfully digging his finger into the fabric of my tunic, right on my chest, surely leaving a red mark underneath.
"Friendship is just an exchange of benefits for both parties. Do you understand, or are you too much of an idiot?"
Everything he's saying feels completely wrong, but he makes it sound logically correct.
I've never had friends long enough to really understand what it meant to have a real friend. Who am I to say that he's wrong?
But does that mean every conversation or stupid argument I had with Remus was just a transaction for Remus himself?
I feel something rising in my throat, and I can't push it down.
What I want to know is, am I just a resource? Is that why he never asked for my name?
Remus sighs before digging his pointer finger into my forehead.
"Let me make it simpler for you to understand since you seem to really struggle with understanding your purpose. You are a resource."
Did my stomach just drop? Although I barely know him, his words carry a lot of weight in my heart.
Is this the world's way consequencing me for my sins?
The truth is that I abandoned all my friends after I graduated high school. I wanted to grow up, and I thought they would get in my way, so I blocked all of them and got new contact information.
Maybe I thought that the reason I did things with my friends was to have fun together, when in reality it was only to have fun for myself?
I rolled my head over, my cheeks resting on the cold ground. From the looks of it, Remus seems to understand my realization.
"I'm going to count down from 60 seconds now. If you don't gain any numen by the end of it, your eyes won't even register my foot crushing your skull."
Remus begins counting down.
I never had anything to offer anyone, not even my own mother. Does that make me a bad friend?
If anything, I am selfish. I'd never want a friend who's selfish. Does that mean they were toying with me the whole time?
Just then, I realized something.
I had nothing to offer. But here in this new world, I have something that Remus deems beneficial.
That means that for the first time in my life, I'm of value to someone. Otherwise, Remus would've killed me way back in the alley.
"Hey, Remus. Am I… beneficial to you?"
Remus looks at me, his face remaining the same making it hard for me to guess his thinking.
"After all I've said you couldn't figure it out yourself?" He sighs before finishing with, "Yes."
My nerves are firing off, telling me that this logic is flawed, but part of me feels like I've accomplished something for the first time.
So, despite the pain and soreness running through my body, I can't help but smile.
I finally made a friend.
Part 2
I successfully gathered numen on the roof.
The pain felt even worse than my first time, but in the end, I've gathered twice the amount of numen I originally had.
Remus theorized that since numen enhances physical attributes, my body had to adjust to my new strength.
To best describe it, it's like intense weightlifting training at the gym. My muscles are broken down, but they heal and become stronger.
So during recovery, I'd eat lots and sleep a ton.
The process was slow and hard, but 4 weeks had passed and when Remus reassessed my numen, he clasped his hands and said, "Good."
Currently I'm laying in the garden despite the night's extremely cold temperature. The sight of the stars makes the cold's aching worth it.
I thought that because this was a new world, the night sky would look much different than my home world, but everything looked the same.
I hear footsteps approaching me to my right, but I don't bother to move.
"Oi, I've gotta write your application for Valery Page Academy." It's Remus' stupid, carefree voice.
"So?"
"I need to know your name."
I heave myself upwards, turning almost mechanically to Remus.
I don't know any common names in this world, and the only two people I know are Captain Valen and Remus himself.
Additionally, I told Remus I have no memory of my life before being saved from Piza village.
Wait, I wasn't necessarily saved since the old woman tried selling my body…
"You don't remember your name, huh?" Remus asks rhetorically.
From the looks of his demeanor, and even his eyes, I can tell he's belittling me in my thoughts. I hope he catches a cold on his birthday.
"Then I'll give you one, since lower-class people like yourself don't really have birth certificates."
Remus ponders for a moment before his face lights up.
"Cassius!" His stupid grin grows wider.
"Why Cassius?"
"Because…" he pauses dramatically before answering with "it sounds cool!"
I wish he'd give my name some more consideration considering I'll be stuck with it forever in this new world, but…
I guess it does sound cool.