Chapter 168: You See, God Is Dead
"Hidan, speaking of which… have you ever actually seen a god?" Kenichi asked, glancing at him while stuffing a piece of grilled meat into his mouth.
After leaving the underground sacrificial site, Kenichi treated Hidan to barbecue in Yugakure. Hidan was in a great mood. The only problem was that he would not stop praising the gods and listing miracle after miracle until Kenichi's ears felt like they were being roasted too.
"Huh? Of course I've seen him!" Hidan said, his face full of worship. "God even bestowed an unparalleled blessing on me!"
This guy really was a fanatic.
"A blessing?" Kenichi's interest sharpened immediately. So Hidan already had his immortal body?
Kenichi's gaze turned dangerous for a moment. He genuinely wanted to draw a vial of blood and study it.
What exactly did Hidan's body look like now? Were there hidden changes?
"Yes! God granted me the power of immortality!" Hidan's eyes burned with devotion.
Kenichi watched him carefully. With this level of obsession, dragging Hidan back into normal society would be difficult. Still, Kenichi knew plenty of ways to reshape a mind. In his previous life, "brainwashing" had been used so often it almost became a household term. There were even times when certain nations suspected others had mastered some kind of psychological technology, and ridiculous conspiracy theories got popular enough to become entertainment.
"God… if that's true," Kenichi said, deliberately leaning into the enthusiasm, "can I receive such a gift too?"
He knew exactly how to deal with people like this. You did not argue first. You fed their desire.
Hidan looked pleased by Kenichi's attitude, but the moment the blessing came up, he turned serious.
"This kind of grace isn't easy to obtain." Hidan spoke with absolute certainty. "I pray every day. I dedicate everything to God. I even offer my soul to him. That's how I earned God's attention."
Then he immediately demonstrated the daily prayer ritual he performed.
It could only be described as having a strong postmodern art vibe.
In simpler terms, it was incomprehensible and painfully cringe. It reminded Kenichi of watching an Olympic opening ceremony from a certain island nation in his previous life, where the organizers clearly believed confusion counted as depth.
"Then who led you to receive God's grace?" Kenichi frowned slightly. "Don't tell me just praying like that every day is enough. If it were, this church would be expanding faster than weeds after rain."
"Of course it was the High Priest!" Hidan answered without hesitation. "He led me through God's trials. It was extremely painful, so he had to bind me. But it was because of that pain that I could see God. God isn't someone you can meet casually!"
Kenichi stared at the sizzling pork belly on the hot plate.
A trial. Pain. Restraint.
That sounded less like a blessing and more like a very unorthodox procedure.
Still, Kenichi understood the key point. Hidan's "grace" came through the High Priest. That meant rituals, or experiments, or both.
"This is really interesting." Kenichi smiled faintly.
He had not expected a discovery like this in a small place like the Land of Rivers. The shinobi world really did hide strange talents in the corners, from Shin to these minor heretics.
In the original stories, these people were usually just a few lines of background. Meeting them in person made everything feel much more… vivid.
"Hidan." Kenichi set down his chopsticks and looked at him. "You said your god is omniscient and omnipotent, right?"
"Yes." Hidan's voice grew reverent again. "God is supreme. Omniscient, omnipotent, the one true god of the shinobi world. Without equal!"
Hidan did not notice the playfulness in Kenichi's tone at all.
There was no saving him. None. This was the kind of fanatic who would probably do anything if his god ordered it.
"So let me ask you something." Kenichi smiled. "Can your god create a stone so heavy that he cannot lift it?"
It was an old paradox from Kenichi's previous life. If a god was truly omnipotent, then he should be able to create such a stone. But if he could not lift it, he was not omnipotent. If he could not create it, he was not omnipotent either.
Kenichi had once used it to shut down a classmate who kept trying to drag him into a church.
"Of course!" Hidan answered with absolute confidence.
Kenichi's smile widened. "If even God cannot lift it, doesn't that prove he isn't omnipotent?"
"This…" Hidan froze.
His brain clearly was not built for this kind of question. He had spent his life clinging to a simple belief, and Kenichi's words cracked the frame.
Kenichi ate another piece of grilled meat, stood up, and walked toward the door.
When he passed Hidan, he patted his shoulder and leaned close to his ear, voice low and almost gentle.
"If your god cannot create a stone he cannot lift, then he isn't omniscient and omnipotent, right?"
He sounded like a devil whispering to a believer.
This trick would not work on seasoned, educated faiths that had debated this question for centuries and built neat answers around it.
But in the shinobi world, it was fresh poison.
Kenichi could tell from Hidan's expression that no one had ever asked him anything like this, and Hidan had no idea how to respond.
Kenichi paid the bill, leaving Hidan sitting there in a stiff daze, and headed straight for the High Priest's house.
"Child, what brings you here?" The High Priest welcomed him warmly. He was still shirtless. He even invited Kenichi to remove his clothes as well.
Kenichi refused.
He was not a pervert.
"High Priest, I'd like to ask you something." Kenichi repeated the paradox, curious how the old man would respond.
The High Priest smiled smoothly. "Child, God is omniscient and omnipotent. Under such a premise, creating a stone that even he cannot lift is an unreasonable condition."
Kenichi nodded.
See? This was professionalism.
No one had ever asked this question before, yet the High Priest produced a neat answer instantly. The old conman really was skilled.
No wonder he had climbed to the position of High Priest.
"Then I have another question." Kenichi's smile did not change, but lightning seemed to flicker at the corners of his eyes. "Did you record the procedures you performed on Hidan? I'm curious how he obtained that special body."
The High Priest's expression darkened.
Before he could say anything, two kunai pressed to his throat and his heart.
"Get to the point," Kenichi said lightly. "I'm not that idiot Hidan."
The High Priest smiled instead. "God is watching me."
In the next instant, an immense force burst from him. Kenichi's two shadow clones were blasted backward, crashing heavily to the ground.
"I am the incarnation of God walking among men."
The High Priest took a step.
And in the next moment, he was already in front of Kenichi.
It was not teleportation, but it was even faster than most teleportation techniques.
"God is omnipotent."
The High Priest's eyes turned red. His muscles swelled grotesquely, veins bulging, bones pressing against skin. Then he threw a punch.
Kenichi's Sharingan spun.
He could clearly see the air split, the shockwave surging straight toward his skull.
It was somewhat similar to Might Guy's Evening Elephant, though nowhere near that terrifying.
"Wow." Kenichi jumped back and dropped into a crouch at the doorway, staring at him. "You're a melee priest?"
So this old man was not just a con artist.
That was a surprise.
"God's gaze can traverse the stars," the High Priest declared.
He appeared again.
At that moment, the house collapsed, and people outside screamed in horror as the structure gave way.
"God loves the world!"
The High Priest opened his mouth and spat out a stream of fireballs.
Kenichi raised a hand and casually blocked them with a water barrier.
Good grief. Was his version of love turning people into roasted meat?
"Is your god the god of barbecue?" Kenichi asked with amusement.
For the first time, the High Priest showed real anger.
Kenichi's curiosity only deepened. The old man had no obvious chakra gathering around his body. Kenichi still could not tell what kind of shinobi he was. So how was he doing this?
Divine magic?
If it were truly that powerful, why hide in a hole like this? Why not take over Yugakure outright?
"You blasphemous heretic!" the High Priest roared, charging.
"Interesting." Kenichi vanished.
In the next instant, he stood atop the tallest building in Yugakure, looking down at the High Priest racing toward him. His hands moved quickly through seals.
The sky erupted.
Countless fire dragons formed in midair, dense enough to blanket the heavens. The heat twisted the air, blurring Kenichi's silhouette.
"Run!"
Chaos exploded below. Villagers screamed and fled, their terrified eyes reflecting the distorted figure above.
"Roar!"
The fire dragons charged.
The High Priest raged, forced to fight helplessly beneath the overwhelming heat and endless waves.
Kenichi watched, thoughtful.
"What should I call this?" he muttered. "Sage Art: Endless Fire Dragons?"
No. Terrible name.
Almost as bad as the Fourth Hokage.
"I am it!" the High Priest's voice bellowed from within the firelight.
Then it abruptly fell silent.
A charred figure dropped from the sky and slammed into the ground.
Kenichi dispersed the fire dragons.
The old man was not that strong in the end.
Kenichi hummed a tune, then casually pulled a steel bar from the burning wreckage beside him.
The High Priest trembled on the ground. It was obvious he wanted to stand and continue, but his body could not keep up with his mouth.
"Hm. The shape is off." Kenichi looked at the straight bar, shook his head, and bent one end with his bare hands.
Then he pressed a dent into the curved side, thoughtful and precise, until it became a crude crowbar.
"That'll do."
He walked over to the High Priest, who was barely breathing now. His eyes had been burned blind, the eyeballs cooked through by the fire.
"A sprinkle of cumin and this would pass for a deluxe lunch," Kenichi commented calmly.
He squatted beside the High Priest and smiled.
"Now tell me, High Priest. What I asked for."
"God… will not forgive…" the High Priest rasped.
"All this talk about gods is getting annoying." Kenichi's smile sharpened. "Take this. My Holy Sword of Physics."
He drove the crowbar straight into the High Priest's mouth.
The metal sank down into the soil.
The High Priest convulsed once, then went still.
Kenichi wiped the blood off his hands on the High Priest's body, rose, and looked to the side.
Hidan stood there.
He was staring at Kenichi with a complicated expression.
Kenichi smiled and wiped his hands again.
"Look," he said softly. "God is dead."
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