Unfortunately, no one got to witness the spectacle of a billionaire relieving himself in public.
Another suit of Iron Man armor appeared on the scene.
"The party's over. Everyone out!"
The newcomer was Colonel Rhodes, Tony's close friend.
He had suited up to forcibly end the chaos.
But Daniel saw through it immediately.
This was obviously Tony deliberately letting Rhodes wear the armor.
Otherwise, how could someone without authorization get inside an Iron Man suit? Did they think JARVIS, an ultra-intelligent AI, didn't exist?
"Boring."
Daniel shook his head. Natasha, watching his "let-the-world-burn" attitude, could only feel exasperated.
She regretted everything.
Sending this guy to talk Tony down? She was afraid Tony wouldn't even last 72 hours.
Natasha said quickly, "Watch Tony here. I'm going to report to the Director."
With that, she turned and left.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
By now, the two Iron Man suits were already trading steel fists, beating each other senseless.
They brawled from the main hall to the gym, from the second floor to the first.
Within minutes, the entire mansion was covered with traces of Tony and Rhodes's "passionate" struggle.
In the end, both men grew desperate, charging up their repulsor blasts and firing straight at each other.
BOOM!!
The two beams collided violently, erupting into a powerful shockwave that blasted outward.
Thankfully, everyone inside had been evacuated beforehand—otherwise Tony and Rhodes would've accidentally racked up several dozen kills on their résumé.
When the dust settled, Rhodes—still in the silver Mark II—flew away without looking back, leaving Tony lying alone in the wreckage.
Daniel kicked away a broken piece of paneling and walked over. He tapped on Tony's faceplate.
"Hey, dead yet?"
"Not yet."
The faceplate opened, revealing Tony's utterly exhausted expression.
Dark, circuit-like streaks of blackened veins crept visibly along his neck.
[NPC: Tony Stark]
[Alias: Iron Man]
[Affection: 70]
[Notes: The representative of 'rich rely on tech, poor rely on mutation.' Tony Sh*t-Stark, Marvel's Kryptonian.]
[Status: Palladium Poisoning]
Good grief—two representatives of "rich rely on tech, poor rely on mutation" obtained within one day.
Daniel looked at Tony's miserable state and asked curiously, "You were fine earlier. How did you suddenly end up like this?"
Tony was silent for a few seconds before speaking slowly: "It's the arc reactor. Its power core is palladium. Every time a palladium plate is consumed, a bit of the element seeps into my bloodstream and gradually destroys my circulatory system."
"But didn't you say a single plate could power the reactor for decades?"
"That's at minimum power. The moment I wear the suit, energy consumption skyrockets. I've been searching for a replacement for palladium—tested every possible combination of every known element. Nothing worked."
Maybe because he had been holding it in for too long, Tony poured everything out at once.
Daniel frowned. "Then why don't you just mount the arc reactor directly onto the armor? That way the palladium won't leak into your body."
Tony: "…"
Right.
Why didn't he think of that!?
Tony gave a hopeless look. "Too late. It's already beyond saving."
There was basically no treatment for palladium poisoning.
After all, no one in history had embedded a miniature nuclear reactor into their own chest. Tony was the first. They could name the disease after him and it still wouldn't be an exaggeration.
"It's just a poison debuff. No need to act like you're dying."
As Daniel spoke, he pulled out a sinister-looking green potion from his inventory.
[Item: Detoxification Potion (Removes all poisoning effects. Ingredients include venom glands, seaweed, and coral.)]
Before Tony could ask anything, Daniel uncapped the bottle, pried open Tony's mouth, and poured it in.
"Mmph—!"
Tony was far too weak to resist, forced to swallow the viscous green liquid.
"What the hell did you just make me drink?" Tony felt the weird taste shoot straight up his sinuses.
"A detox potion. See for yourself."
Daniel pulled out a small mirror and held it up to Tony.
Through the reflection, Tony was shocked to discover the black veins on his neck had completely vanished!
A wave of long-lost lightness washed over him, as though a thousand-pound weight had been lifted.
"Sir, palladium levels in your bloodstream have dropped below one percent. Palladium poisoning symptoms eliminated," JARVIS reported at the perfect moment.
It was gone.
Not alleviated—gone.
Completely cured.
Tony could hardly believe it.
A life-threatening condition considered incurable had been solved by a bottle of mysterious green goo?
"You saved my life again."
Tony looked at Daniel with a complicated expression.
Counting this one, Daniel had saved him three times now.
Daniel waved it off. "A small favor. Think of it as compensation for all the entertainment you gave me tonight."
He pulled out his phone, opened his album, and played a clip.
It was Tony drinking his own urine earlier.
"When I'm short on cash someday, I'll release this and make a fortune. I've already got the title: 'Shocking! Iron Man Drinks Urine in Public!'"
Tony: "…"
Death might have been kinder.
Not long after, S.H.I.E.L.D. agents arrived.
Leading them was Director Nick Fury, who had finally left his office.
Behind him was Natasha, now dressed in a sleek black combat suit.
Seeing her outfit, Tony's eyes widened. "So you're a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent too? Didn't expect you to be hiding this deep!"
Daniel sighed beside him. "Sorry, Tony. I'm an undercover agent too. I've been posing as your bodyguard all this time. You probably didn't see that coming either, right?"
Tony's eye twitched. "…"
No.
Anyone with functioning eyes could tell you were an undercover agent.
Nick Fury dismissed the other agents from the second-floor hall—he wanted a private talk with Tony.
Daniel and Natasha went down to the first floor.
While Natasha stared at him helplessly, Daniel casually opened a bottle of wine from the cabinet and tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling.
"What are you looking at?"
Natasha noticed he had been staring at the ceiling for quite a while.
"The subtitles."
Daniel took a sip of the wine, his expression lighting up with discovery. "Didn't expect Tony's dad to be one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s founders. That's level-8 classified intel. Did you know that?"
Natasha: "…"
I'm only level-7.
I know nothing.
I heard nothing.