"You? Want to be my bodyguard?"
Tony stared at Daniel like he'd grown a second head.
Daniel nodded. "Exactly. You're short one bodyguard. I'm short one paycheck. Perfect match."
'Too perfect,' Tony thought, rolling his eyes.
"You're the one who put Happy in the hospital, right?"
Daniel's eyes went wide with fake innocence. "Slander! I've never even met the guy."
"…I never said his name was Happy."
Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're S.H.I.E.L.D. Why the hell are you moonlighting as my babysitter?"
Daniel shrugged. "Agent pay sucks. Gotta hustle. Some of my colleagues write web novels on the side. One stopped updating, his readers tracked him down, broke both his legs. We ended up recruiting the reader—guy's a tracking genius."
Tony: "…"
What kind of circus was this?
"I don't need another bodyguard. I already have… twelve others besides Happy."
J.A.R.V.I.S. chimed in politely: "Actually, sir, those twelve were also admitted this afternoon. Same attacker description: black hair, black eyes, pink Hawaiian shirt, beach shorts."
"???"
Tony glared at the angel-faced demon standing in front of him.
'Is this something a human being does?!'
"Artificial intelligence?" Daniel blinked at the ceiling, genuinely impressed.
A.I. existed in his original world (some people even dated them), but this was supposed to be 2008. Real A.I. butlers were sci-fi stuff here.
"Correct, sir. I am J.A.R.V.I.S., Mr. Stark's digital assistant."
Daniel grinned. "Got a sexy female voice mode?"
"I'm afraid not. Mr. Stark has only enabled the distinguished British gentleman setting."
"Boring."
Daniel pouted, now convinced Tony had some very specific fetish.
Tony inhaled sharply. "I don't need protection! I'm Tony freaking Stark!"
Daniel smirked. "Sure about that? The board members outside want to carve you into sashimi. They're way scarier than cave terrorists. Might even turn your little Stark into stock soup."
Tony's face went rigid.
Two seconds of silence.
"…Congratulations. You're hired."
"Excellent, boss."
Los Angeles, Walt Disney Concert Hall. Red carpet. Flashing lights. Screaming paparazzi.
A silver-gray supercar roared in like an angry missile, engine note shaking the street.
Everyone braced for a crash, then the car whipped into a perfect 180° powerslide and stopped exactly on the mark, tires smoking.
"TONY STARK!"
"IT'S REALLY HIM!"
"Forget the B-list celebs—shoot Stark!"
Every camera swung toward the car like it was magnetized.
Tony stepped out, looking stylish but slightly green.
Daniel climbed out of the driver's seat, slammed the door, and shook his head.
"You look pale, boss. Can't handle a little 220 mph?"
'Who drives 220 in downtown LA?!'
Tony swallowed bile, vowing never to let Daniel touch a steering wheel again.
He forced his playboy smile and floated toward the entrance.
There stood Obadiah Stane—bald, broad, fake smile already in place.
"Look who decided to grace us with his presence."
Stane's eyes slid to Daniel.
Daniel had swapped the beach fit for a crisp, pure-white tailored suit.
[Equipment: Charming Suit (Extremely handsome. Charm +50%)]
With the buff active, Daniel's already reader-tier face became blinding. For a moment he outshone even Tony—almost.
(Almost, because billionaire aura is its own cheat code.)
Stane sized him up, suspicious. "And this is…?"
"My new bodyguard."
"?"
Stane's brain blue-screened.
'Bodyguards look like K-pop idols now?'
Tony didn't bother explaining. He gave Stane a lazy nod and dragged Daniel inside.
Spotting Pepper across the hall, Tony tossed Daniel a line—"Relax"—and immediately went full peacock mode, flirting so hard it was basically HR violation footage.
Daniel watched, arms folded. "Playboy skill tree really maxed out, huh."
He sighed. Back home he'd been chronically single despite decent looks. Still didn't know what he was doing wrong.
A stunning blonde in a backless red gown glided over, hips swaying, wine glass in hand.
"Hey there. All alone?"
Daniel glanced down at himself, then back at her with a straight face.
"Alone? Careful—half a person might scare you to death."