The silence in Tazuna's dining room was broken only by the rhythmic clack-clack-scrape of chopsticks hitting the bottom of a ceramic bowl.
"Another one, please!" I chirped, holding out my bowl with a grin that felt surprisingly natural on my face.
Tsunami, the kind-hearted daughter of the bridge builder, blinked in astonishment. A stack of six empty bowls already sat next to my elbow. "You... you have quite the appetite, Mr. Shanks."
"It's the sea air," I lied smoothly. "Makes a man hungry."
In reality, my new body was a furnace. I could feel it burning through calories just by existing. Being a Yonko—or whatever I was—apparently required the caloric intake of a small whale.
Across the table, the atmosphere was far less jovial.
Team 7 sat in varying states of disarray. The pink-haired girl, Sakura, was picking at her rice, shooting nervous glances at me every few seconds. The dark-haired boy, Sasuke, was brooding so hard he looked like he was trying to ignite his food with his mind. He kept clutching his chest, likely remembering the sensation of being forced to his knees by my Haki.
And then there was the scarecrow man. Kakashi.
He hadn't touched his food. His single visible eye was fixed on me, unwavering, dissecting every movement I made. He looked exhausted—using that red eye of his seemed to drain his battery fast—but his guard was up so high it was practically scraping the ceiling.
"So," Kakashi began, his voice muffled slightly by his mask. "That was quite a display back there."
I swallowed a mouthful of rice and shrugged, feigning ignorance. "Which part? The part where the guy in the cow-print pajamas ran away, or the part where I got hungry?"
"The part," Kakashi said, his tone hardening just a fraction, "where you incapacitated a Jounin-level assassin and my entire team without lifting a finger. With a technique I have never seen in all my years serving the Hidden Leaf."
I leaned back in my chair, the wood groaning in protest. I rested my single hand on my stomach. I had to tread carefully here. I knew Naruto was about ninjas. I knew they used hand signs and elemental magic. I knew I had none of that.
"It wasn't a technique," I said. "It was just... willpower."
"Willpower," Kakashi repeated, skeptical.
"Intimidation," I clarified. "Look, where I come from, if you stare at someone hard enough and you really mean it, they listen. That guy... Zabuza? He had a weak will. He hesitated. I capitalized on it."
"You knocked Sakura unconscious," Kakashi pointed out.
"Collateral damage," I said, feeling a pang of guilt. I looked at the girl. "Sorry about that, kid. I haven't... uh... flexed that muscle in a while. A bit rusty."
Sakura squeaked and hid behind her bowl.
"Awesome..."
The whisper came from my left.
I turned to look. The blond kid, Naruto, was staring at me. His blue eyes were wide, practically sparkling. He had forgotten his ramen—which I assumed was a sin for him—and was leaning so far over the table he was almost in my lap.
"That was awesome!" Naruto shouted, slamming his hands on the table. "You just went ZOOM and hit that guy! And then you went WOOSH with the red lightning! And the bad guy was all shaking like a scared puppy! Who are you?! Are you a Kage? Are you a Sage?"
"Naruto, sit down," Kakashi ordered wearily.
"But Kakashi-sensei! Did you see him? He has one arm and he's huge! He's way cooler than you!"
I couldn't help it. A laugh bubbled up from my chest—a deep, resonant sound. "Dahahaha! I like this kid. He's got spirit."
I reached out and ruffled Naruto's spiky blond hair. It was surprisingly soft. The kid froze, blushing slightly at the praise, but he leaned into the touch. It struck me then—this kid was starved for positive attention. I remembered vaguely from the internet that Naruto was an orphan and an outcast.
"I'm not a Kage or a Sage," I told him, retracting my hand. "I'm a pirate."
"A pirate?" Naruto tilted his head. "Like... stealing gold and stuff?"
"Sometimes," I mused, trying to channel what little I knew of the character I now inhabited. Shanks wasn't a bad guy, right? "But mostly, being a pirate is about freedom. It's about sailing the seas, having parties, and doing whatever the hell you want. No rules. No ninja villages telling you what to do."
Naruto's mouth formed a perfect 'O'. The concept seemed to blow his mind. "Freedom..."
"But," Sasuke spoke up for the first time, his voice sharp and edged with frustration. "You're strong. Ridiculously strong."
I looked at the Uchiha boy. He was gripping his chopsticks so hard they snapped.
"How?" Sasuke demanded, glaring at me. "You have no chakra. Kakashi-sensei said so. I can't sense any coming from you either. You're just... empty. But you move faster than the eye can see. How did you get that power?"
The table went quiet. Everyone wanted to know the answer. Even Tazuna stopped drinking his tea.
How did I get this power? I didn't. I died in a car crash and woke up in the body of an anime character who did a bajillion pushups or something. But I couldn't say that.
I looked at Sasuke, seeing the desperation in his eyes. This kid wanted power for revenge. I recalled that much.
"Training," I said simply.
"What kind of training?" Sasuke pressed.
I tapped my temple. "The mind. And the body. You guys rely on this... chakra... for everything, right? Walking on water, breathing fire. It's a crutch."
Kakashi's eye widened slightly.
"When you take away the magic," I continued, improvising wildly, "all you have is flesh and bone. I honed my flesh and bone. I trained my spirit until my presence alone was heavier than a mountain. You want to be strong, kid? Stop relying on tricks. Learn to hit hard. Learn to take a hit. And learn to drink a lot of milk. Helps the bones."
Sasuke looked unsatisfied, but also thoughtful. He looked down at his own hands.
"Mr. Shanks," Kakashi interrupted, his tone shifting from interrogator to diplomat. "While your philosophy is... interesting... I need to know who you are. Truly. You claim to be a pirate, but the Land of Waves is a small island nation. We know all the local captains. You aren't one of them."
He pulled out a small book from his flak jacket—not the orange smut book, but a notebook.
"Red hair. Single arm. Western-style sword. Three scars on the eye. There is no bounty for you in the Bingo Book. Not in the Mist, not in the Leaf, nowhere in the Elemental Nations."
Kakashi leaned forward. "Where are you really from?"
This was the danger zone. If I said a place that didn't exist, they'd think I was a spy. If I said a place that did exist, they'd check.
"I'm from the West," I said vaguely.
"West of the Land of Earth?" Kakashi asked.
"Further," I said. "Much further. Across the Great Sea. Places you ninja don't go. The Grand Line."
"The Grand Line?" Kakashi tested the name. "I've never heard of it."
"It's a treacherous stretch of ocean," I said, my voice dropping. I was pulling memories from the few clips I'd seen. "Monsters the size of islands. Storms that can crush steel. Men who can split the sky with a swing of their blade. I drifted here. Got caught in a storm... woke up on your beach this morning."
It was the perfect lie because it was technically true to the character, even if I wasn't the original owner.
Kakashi studied me for a long, agonizing minute. He was weighing the likelihood of my story against the threat I posed. Finally, he seemed to relax, though I knew it was a facade.
"Well," Kakashi said, "regardless of where you're from, you saved my client. For that, the Leaf is grateful. But..."
He narrowed his eye. "If you turn on us, or if you threaten these kids, I will kill you. Even if it costs me my life."
The killing intent flared from him. It was sharp, focused, and cold. It was different from Haki. Haki was like a sledgehammer; this was like a scalpel.
I didn't flinch. I smiled.
"Don't worry, Scarecrow," I said, pouring myself a cup of water (sadly, not sake). "I'm just a guest. I'll stick around until I figure out where I am. Besides..." I gestured to the window, where the dark outline of the unbuilt bridge was visible. "I don't like bullies. This Gato guy sounds like a pain in the ass. I might stick around just to see him get what's coming to him."
"Yay!" Naruto cheered. "The Pirate Guy is staying!"
"Shanks," I corrected him. "Just Shanks."
"Shanks-nii-chan!" Naruto decided.
I winced. "Just Shanks is fine."
"So, Shanks-sensei," Naruto continued, ignoring me completely. "Can you teach me that scary eye thing? Please? If I learn that, Sasuke will stop calling me a loser!"
"I'm not teaching you anything," I said, standing up. My head was brushing the wooden beams of the ceiling. I really was too tall for this world. "I'm going to find a place to sleep. And maybe find something stronger to drink than tea."
"There's a guest room upstairs," Tsunami offered kindly. "It's not much, but..."
"It's a palace compared to a ship's deck," I assured her.
As I walked toward the stairs, I felt a small hand tug on my sash. I looked down. It was the little boy in the bucket hat, Inari. He had been silent the whole meal, staring at the table.
"You're going to die," he whispered.
The room went silent.
"Inari!" Tsunami gasped.
"He is!" Inari shouted, tears welling in his eyes. "Gato is going to kill you! Just like he killed Kaiza! You think you're strong because you beat some thugs? Gato has an army! There are no heroes! You're just going to get killed and leave us alone again!"
Naruto looked like he was about to punch the kid. "Hey! Shut up! Shanks-nii is super strong!"
I held up a hand to stop Naruto. I knelt down—which was a long way down—so I was eye-level with the kid.
"You might be right," I said softly.
Inari blinked, surprised. He expected me to argue.
"I might die," I admitted. "People die. It happens. I've lost... friends. I lost this arm." I gestured to my empty sleeve. "The world is a scary place, kid. And Gato sounds like a real piece of work."
I reached out and tapped the brim of his bucket hat.
"But you know what's scarier than dying?"
Inari shook his head, trembling.
"Living your whole life being afraid to do the right thing," I said. "I'd rather die fighting for my friends than live a long life watching them suffer. That's the pirate way."
I stood up, the floorboards creaking. "Goodnight, everyone."
I walked up the stairs, feeling the heavy gazes of three ninja and a family on my back.
Once I was inside the small guest room and the door was clicked shut, the façade dropped. I slumped against the door, sliding down until I hit the floor. My heart was hammering against my ribs like a trapped bird.
"Holy shit," I whispered, putting my head in my hand. "I am completely winging this."
I looked at my hand—the massive, calloused hand of a legendary pirate. I clenched it into a fist.
I had bluffed Kakashi Hatake. I had terrified Zabuza Momochi. And I had accidentally adopted a protagonist.
I needed to figure out this body's limits. I needed to figure out if I could use Haki on command or if it was just an emotional trigger. And most importantly, I needed to figure out how to swim in this political shark tank without getting eaten.
I crawled over to the futon Tsunami had laid out. It was too short for me; my feet hung off the end.
As I stared at the ceiling, listening to the wind howl outside, I thought about what I'd told Kakashi. The Grand Line.
"I wonder," I muttered to the empty room. "If I sail East... will I actually find it? Or am I the only piece of that world here?"
A sense of profound loneliness washed over me. I was a stranger in a strange land, wearing a dead man's face.
But then, I heard laughter downstairs. It was Naruto, shouting something about becoming Hokage, followed by Tazuna telling him to shut up and go to sleep.
A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth.
"Well," I whispered, closing my eyes. "At least the company isn't boring."
Meanwhile, Downstairs
Kakashi sat at the table long after the others had gone to bed. The scroll in front of him was blank. He was trying to write a report to the Hokage, but the words wouldn't come.
Subject: Unknown Variable 'Shanks'.
Threat Level: S-Rank (Potential).
Affiliation: Neutral / Pirate.
He tapped his pen.
"He has no chakra," Kakashi murmured to himself. "Physically impossible speed. Strength that rivals Lady Tsunade. And a projection of killing intent that can paralyze a target physically."
Kakashi touched his left eye, hidden beneath the headband. Even with the Sharingan, he couldn't see how Shanks did it. There was no energy buildup. No muscle tension telegraphing the move. It was just... there.
"And he claims to be a pirate from a land of monsters," Kakashi sighed. "Why does this mission always get complicated?"
He looked at the stairs.
Shanks was dangerous. Incredibly so. But when he looked at Naruto, or Inari... his eyes weren't the eyes of a killer. They were the eyes of a protector.
"I'll watch him," Kakashi decided. "For now."
He blew out the candle, plunging the room into darkness. But in his mind, the image of the red lightning crackling around the one-armed man remained burned bright. The balance of power in the Land of Waves had just shifted violently, and Kakashi had no idea what would happen next.