Chapter 188: Goddamn Yossi, No God Tonight
At half-time, the LED screen at the stadium displayed the first-half match statistics.
Although the scoreline had Barcelona trailing 1–3, Barcelona actually edged Arsenal in many statistical categories.
Possession: Barcelona 57%, slightly better than Arsenal.
Shots: Barcelona 10, Arsenal 8 — Barcelona again ahead. Don't be fooled by Arsenal's three goals; Barcelona still had more total shots.
It was just that Barcelona's shot conversion rate was poor — ten shots for one goal.
Interceptions, pass accuracy and other technical metrics: Barcelona were superior there too.
In fact, from the Dream Team era up through the MSN years, whether Barcelona won or lost they usually dominated the match in play; only in the post-Messi era did they lose pitch control.
When those numbers were laid out at halftime for the "data emperors," Messi worshippers around the world immediately felt vindicated and invigorated.
After Lionel Messi's four Ballon d'Ors, he has a huge global following; they treat Messi like a "god" on the pitch!
In the first half, after Barcelona conceded three goals to Arsenal led by Xia Qi, those thoughtless Messi fans quieted down.
But once the half-time stats came out, they found their zeal again and started defending Messi across social platforms. They believed the only way Barca could break the deficit was through a star-driven tactic,
and Lionel Messi was unquestionably Barca's top star and sharpest spearhead.
Those Messi worshippers were certain that with more of the ball, Messi would grind down Arsenal's defense inch by inch and defeat Xia Qi.
In fact, they were half right.
Luis Enrique did make tactical adjustments for the second half.
He did put more burden on Lionel Messi — his idea was simple: overwork Messi — but he didn't know exactly how to complement him.
Like later, when he went to Paris and tried to "overwork" Kylian Mbappé and Ousmane Dembélé without figuring out the right support, Paris ended up fearing the weak and avoiding the strong…
But that's another story.
After the break, the teams switched ends and resumed play.
When Lionel Messi replaced Andrés Iniesta as the team's front-line orchestrator, Barcelona began to look different.
Their number of backwards passes in the final third dropped noticeably, while incisive dribbles increased, especially short-space penetrating passes.
Lionel Messi became the brightest star at Camp Nou!
The cheers at Camp Nou rose and fell; Barcelona fans' voices never rested after the restart — many were hoarse yet still shouting with all they had.
When Messi cut in from the flank and slipped past two defenders—
those Messi worshippers would lavish praise across platforms: "Messi's dribbling is art; defenders know what he's about but still can't stop him."
"Yeah! Xia Qi's dribbling is just an imitation of the great Messi, but no matter how well he copies, it lacks soul…"
After beating defenders, Messi would lift his foot to shoot.
"Shot—oh, so close. Messi's shot is perfect, Arsenal defenders are unfair, they had little grabs…"
Once, Messi even blasted a shot from distance with no one near him, and those worshippers claimed the Camp Nou turf was too slippery…
Anyway, Messi is perfect and invincible; if he hadn't scored yet, he was just storing energy — dawn would break soon…
What infuriated Xia Qi's supporters was that many of those mindless Messi worshippers were Chinese, spamming taunts and mockery of Xia Qi in the Tencent livestream comments,
eagerly waiting for their "god" to roar in the second half and lead Barcelona to a comeback.
Messi didn't make his supporters wait long.
In the 55th minute, Lionel Messi received a pass from Andrés Iniesta on the edge of Arsenal's box.
Facing Santi Cazorla's pressing, Messi simply used a "Messi shoulder drop" to glide past him.
Amid the crowd's roar, Messi faced Per Mertesacker, charging at speed; he suddenly stopped, decelerated, and changed direction laterally.
Mertesacker defended well and didn't let Messi beat him on the first move, and he followed Messi's change of direction.
That gave Cazorla a chance to recover, and Gustavo from the other side also came over to help.
The three formed a triangle and surrounded Messi in its center.
Facing the four-time Ballon d'Or winner, it wasn't shameful for three men to go one-on-one.
In many people's eyes that was an impenetrable, ironclad defensive enclosure,
and surrender seemed the only way out.
But Messi twitched and spun inside that triangle…
When Gustavo pressed first, Messi made a pass-fake motion,
Gustavo was momentarily deceived and hesitated,
and Messi seized that hesitation, pushed the ball aside, ghosted past the now-stiff Gustavo, and surged toward the edge of the penalty area.
That feint not only bypassed Gustavo but also used Gustavo's body to block Cazorla.
Messi ended up on Gustavo's left while Cazorla was on Gustavo's right — they were separated by Gustavo.
This was a smart, looping breakthrough — a sidestep, not a crude rush straight into the teeth of the defense.
Mertesacker, standing at the mouth of the area, couldn't let Messi have space near the six-yard line even if he couldn't meet Messi head-on.
Helpless, he lunged at Messi,
and that lunged move broke the three-man trap.
Messi beat Mertesacker's attempt to pounce and dribbled into Arsenal's penalty area.
Arsenal's defensive line was breached; Messi's small-space maneuvering was exquisite.
The stadium and the internet filled with praise.
Bursting into the box, Messi glanced at Arsenal's goal and saw Samuel Umtiti and goalkeeper David Martínez covering angles in a way that left no clear shooting lane.
Messi had to look to the far corner and nudge the ball to create a gap.
But just as he nudged the ball, a yellow figure suddenly slotted between him and the ball.
Messi saw the number he least wanted to see — 9.
Arsenal's No. 9, Xia Qi, had sprinted back from the front. At the most dangerous moment for the team, he executed a drifting slide in and opened his arms, positioning himself between Messi and the goal.
"Beautiful!"
"Perfect positioning!"
The Tencent livestream exploded.
Those mindless Messi worshippers had sung Messi's praises earlier; now Xia Qi fans were equally ecstatic.
God my ass!
Tonight's god-slaying match!
"This is football — how can you not love it? Just as Messi was about to penetrate to the end, Xia Qi returned in time — a perfect and flawless diagonal block. Facing the goal with his back to Messi, he extinguished the crisis."
On the pitch, Xia Qi timed his block exactly as Messi nudged the ball; Messi crashed into Xia Qi's back,
the ball was separated from Messi and fell into goalkeeper David Martínez's hands.
Arsenal's gate was safe!
Boom!
Camp Nou erupted in fury, a sonic blast!
More than eighty thousand Barcelona fans unleashed volcanic jeers toward Xia Qi.
Xia Qi seemed "startled" and turned and ran.
At the same time, Martínez quickly launched the ball to Luke Shaw.
"Arsenal's quick counter!"
"Martínez quick release, Xia Qi sprints through the middle…"
While Barcelona fans were angry that Xia Qi had ruined Messi's near-certain goal,
Xia Qi was already sprinting forward!!!
He wasn't fleeing — he was counterattacking!
On the flank, Luke Shaw immediately understood!!!
They seemed telepathic!
Luke Shaw didn't hesitate; he passed instantly. Although he wanted to break through for Arsenal himself, there was no time to dawdle.
So a diagonal pass — to Mario Balotelli!
The ball skimmed the turf and sped into Balotelli's front area, giving him precisely the kind of weighted lead he loves.
In the center, Arsenal had one player positioned even ahead of Xia Qi — that man stood in front of Barcelona's defenders.
That man was Mario Balotelli!
Attack is the best form of defense. Top teams usually leave a "nail" up front when defending — that nail is typically the center forward.
Arsenal did the same.
At the instant Luke Shaw passed, Balotelli launched like a cheetah,
arriving ahead of Gerard Piqué and Javier Mascherano to get the ball.
Facing two defenders,
Balotelli cushioned the ball as if to flick it left then yank it across — it looked like he would try to force a one-on-two breakthrough.
But those were all feints. As he received it, he counted silently.
Three seconds!
In three seconds Xia Qi would be there!
That was the tacit understanding between him and Xia Qi!!!
It was also a testament to trust in Xia Qi's ability!!!
Although tonight Xia Qi wasn't the cold-faced, omnipotent version, when Barcelona fans were shouting racist slurs like "yellow monkey," Balotelli knew tonight would be bloody.
Three seconds — gone in a blink.
Balotelli shifted the angle and slid the ball behind Mascherano.
"Arsenal two-on-two!!"
"Xia Qi has run past Piqué!"
On the pitch Xia Qi sprinted past Piqué and cut in behind Mascherano.
When Mascherano first saw Xia Qi, Xia Qi was still slightly in front of him.
By the time Mascherano turned, all he could see was Xia Qi's nape!
Fuck…
Mascherano suddenly realized why so many players were shutting down and why Xia Qi was the first to get back — Messi and Neymar were merely ordinary nags compared to Xia Qi.
Maybe they have bursts of speed, but they certainly don't have Xia Qi's diligence; Mascherano saw in his peripheral vision that Lionel Messi and Neymar had already given up the chase.
Mascherano had no time to vent his frustration about being let down by teammates; he could only grit his teeth and chase Xia Qi.
"No offside!"
"Xia Qi's through!!"
Zhan Jun in the livestream roared. He'd thought Balotelli would be the finisher — who expected it to be Xia Qi sprinting in from deep?
All Xia Qi's fans were thrilled and wished they could be at the stadium.
"I swear I'll go to the next match in person."
"Charge!!!"
"I'm here at the ground already — you won't believe how fast Xia Qi is. In my sight I can only see a string of afterimages. Messi and Neymar chased a few steps and gave up. Imagine how despairing that must feel."
On the pitch,
Xia Qi's feet seemed to have wind-and-fire wheels, but he wasn't satisfied and kept accelerating,
accelerating again,
and accelerating even more…
Mascherano and his Argentine compatriots gave up; watching Xia Qi's retreating back grow ever smaller, they finally understood Messi — and they had no more complaints.
Giving up might be the best move.
Save the energy for the next phase!
In front of Barcelona's goal, Marc-André ter Stegen calculated Xia Qi's stride frequency and step length.
He wanted to rush out the moment Xia Qi reached the edge of the penalty area.
Too early and Xia Qi would chip it; too late and Xia Qi would essentially have a penalty — unacceptable.
Watching, ter Stegen couldn't help admiring Xia Qi's touches: the carry distance, the weight of each touch, the timing and strike point — textbook-quality.
Ter Stegen believed La Masia would someday include Xia Qi's dribbling segment in its teaching material, just as they had with Kaká's long strides.
Who would have thought Manchester City's youth training would improve so much? Germany is in trouble.
Although ter Stegen's mind ran a thousand thoughts, he still launched himself full of intent at Xia Qi.
Xia Qi, as in the first half, chose to round the keeper.
As ter Stegen committed his weight down, Xia Qi moved his weight left and, during his high-speed dribble, initiated a change of direction.
Then, the left-leaning center of gravity rose and both legs drove — the body flew like an arrow out of a bow, streaking past ter Stegen's outstretched fingertips.
Ter Stegen emitted a despairing roar — a lion's roar!!!
Screwed again!!!!!!
Xia Qi's acceleration pushed him out of ter Stegen's reach, and the goal yawningly opened for him.
Xia Qi chose the most secure tap-in!
Another tap-in into an empty net!!!
"Xia Qi!!!!"
"Empty net!!!"
"Tap-in!"
"Goal!!!"
"Hat-trick!!! Xia Qi has gone mad — stopping Messi's certain goal at the back and then sprinting seventy, eighty meters to score; this is the true B2B."
"1–4! After half-time, Barcelona not only failed to recover, they let Arsenal extend the lead. If they don't make changes and Arsenal continue like this, maybe there won't be a second-leg after all…"
"How many times has Camp Nou been silenced? Barca fans must understand some people are not to be trifled with. Verbal venting feels great for a moment, but when the boomerang comes back, the pain matches the previous pleasure."
Online,
"Zhang Lu said it well — you Messi-lickers who praised him before, come out and show yourselves. You called Xia Qi a copy of Messi — well, show yourselves."
"Xia Qi's positioning, Xia Qi's dribbling, Xia Qi's match spirit — how is that copying Messi??? Why does the copy score a hat-trick while the original only has one? Why is the copy leading?"
"Messi's dribbling is art, sure — but what about Xia Qi's long dribble? Messi's shot is art, but Xia Qi rounded the keeper and tapped into an empty net. If you can't answer that, compare Xia Qi's three-hundred-mile recovery and blocking position with Messi's abandonment of the chase. Don't say he can't keep up — I believe Xia Qi himself didn't even know he'd get into that spot when he tracked back."
"I admit Lionel Messi is tremendously strong — the four Ballon d'Ors prove that — but don't think yourselves worthless. Talents will always rise; look to the present for the true heroes."
(END CHAPTER)
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