What Is the essence of life?
Many at times I wondered whether society was a gift of the universe or a curse. At least from where I stood, they all looked like ants to me. On top of my academy building, I thought of all these things in an attempt to justify what I was about to do.
Deep down, I felt like there was something off about what I was about to do. But, my depression simply quelled the thought. With a piece of paper bearing my will on the ledge, I stood up, facing the world below and decided to finally end it.
I dived off. What happened next, was the most terrifying experience of my life.
As my body closed in on hard ground with incredible speeds, time froze.
And no, it wasn't in my head, it wasn't the feeling of life flashing before my eyes. It simply, stopped moving. It was as if the universe had held it's breath. Now in the midst of frozen time, I remained stuck in the air. I looked over my shoulders and the rest of the world seemed still. Which was an unlikely event in Japan. I cursed at the universe for denying that one escape from all the torment of bullying and loneliness of orphanhood.
And as if the universe decided to answer my taunts, a sudden shift in the atmosphere sent a chill down my spine. Looking down, all I could see was a female hand. The hand was large enough to pluck a giant tree like it was a twig. From sheer panick, I screamed for help, as if expecting a universal force to come to my aid.
The hand slowly rose to my level and closed in around me, but not crushingly so. In the next second, the reality I knew shifted.
From the hustle and bustle of City streets, to the sudden quiet of darkness. A pitch black void. I cried out for the hand to show itself, puzzled as to whether this was death or I hadn't even died.
I Pinched myself and felt pain, dissolving the notion that I had somehow died. I was still on edge wondering where I was. As to how I got here, it was the giant hand's doing. What I saw next did not help me relax in the slightest. In the pitch black void, a pair of golden eyes stared at me intently. A stare so intense I felt naked in my own skin. The pair of eyes suddenly vanished and a loud female voice declared,
" Let there be luminous!!".
The cold void suddenly felt, warmer. A single source of light exploded, revealing a dimension far more marvelous than what I could imagine. Infinite stars, countless planets and endlessly spreading clusters of Nebula filled the space. I found myself on a bed nothing but clouds. They were somehow supporting my weight. They were neither too soft nor too hard. In fact, it felt like I was in flight. As if there was nothing more to marvel about, clusters of constellations suddenly gathered and form a giant female figure. The figure moved, much to my shock. Gathering several more stars, she formed a robe around her form. The figure then shifted from a contour state to a more realistic appearance. Although she was still quite large.
She gave a sly smile and commented; " it would seem you are quite confused. You happened to meet the requirements for my reincarnation matrix".
What she said made no sense. I was still bewildered. Slowly calming my mind, I came to a the realization in thought. She said, " reincarnation matrix?!".
I was simply annoyed at that point. Insisting her matrix was flawed, I stressed on the fact that she found me in the process of a nice and painful exit from existence. I demanded she send me back so I can at least die properly.
My request was met with a stark look of discontent. She was firm in her belief that her matrix makes no mistake. Looking at me more intently, I felt as if a force had penetrated my body, going as far as my soul. She looked away and let out a mocking laugh.
Refusing to be belittled, I pointed a finger at her, warning her to stop laughing and send me back immediately. She was not deterred and proceeded to laugh more vigorously, which only fueled my rage. I asked impatiently, her reason for laughing in such a mocking tone.
She the proceeded to explain her reason for laughing in such a mocking tone;
" You were so convinced that death was the only release from your so called suffering. When in fact, what you wanted to do and what your spirit wanted was in such a contrast. It amuses me that you don't even notice how relieved you are that you hadn't died.
You humans have shut off your ability to sense your emotions and as a result, you make impulsive decisions. How, pathetic."
Those words broke me. I felt as if my entire belief system had been shattered. I fell to my knees. I was shocked. I slumped into the darkest corner of my mind and the only words that came out of my mouth were,
" What am I here for?".
The heavenly being was surprised since mostly it took more time to convince those who came before me. She lifted up my head with her index finger. Looking into my eyes, she expressed her joy for finding a being with such untapped potential.