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Translator: uly
Chapter: 9
Chapter Title: Growing on My Own
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<―>
"Suddenly I'm feeling pretty damn shitty. How about I just deck you right here?"
"Even after all these years, your crude speech and manners haven't changed a bit."
"I may have gotten older, but I haven't gotten any wiser.
Truth is, I've done just fine without it.
If you've got a problem with that, why don't you try making me wiser yourself?"
"Honestly, nothing about you has changed at all."
Afraid that something serious—like swords or fists—might actually break out if left alone, Sion lightly tapped the table to draw the two old men's attention to himself.
"Sebastian.
I distinctly told you to cut it out."
He murmured in a slightly cold tone, and Sebastian's eyes twitched upward for a moment before he bowed his head and stepped back.
"...My apologies, Young Lord."
"And Lord Raido.
This is the castle of the Clauzen Count family, after all.
No matter how esteemed a guest you may be, shouldn't you at least observe basic etiquette?"
"What the hell are you yapping about?
You damn brat."
Of course, even as he said it, Raido backed off just the same.
Sion had known for a while that for all their growling, the two men harbored no real blood feud against each other.
If they were truly about to fight, they wouldn't be bickering like this.
Both were hot-tempered old codgers with more than a few screws loose, the type to draw steel or throw punches the instant someone set them off.
"For now, Sebastian.
You were a member of the Royal Secret Guardian Knights, correct?"
"That's right."
"Does my father know about this?"
"Of course.
The Margrave is already aware."
"I see.
Of course he would be.
Hiding your identity from the lord of this territory would be a grave offense."
"...And what do you think, Young Lord?"
"You're asking how I feel about you hiding your identity?"
Tap, tap, tap—.
Sion drummed his fingers on the table, pretending to mull it over for a moment.
In truth, he didn't care at all, but since Sion Clauzen had a reputation for being a petty, whining asshole, it was better to at least feign a bit of offense.
"To be honest, it doesn't sit entirely well with me."
"...I see."
"But well, everyone has their reasons they can't speak of, don't they?
Me included, and you as well.
I have no desire to pry into it, nor any particular curiosity about your past, so I'll let it slide this time."
He waved his hand dismissively, signaling that he was done with the topic.
Thanks to this, Sebastian furrowed his brow slightly, lost in thought.
"Lord Raido.
Everyone saying I shouldn't become your disciple is for your sake."
"What fresh nonsense is that?"
"As you said yourself, I'm just a green kid who hasn't accomplished a damn thing.
Imagine some punk like me suddenly learning martial arts and getting strong.
Wouldn't that raise a few eyebrows?"
"...Well, yeah, it would."
"You came all the way out here to get away from people who keep bothering you.
I can't imagine a man like that giving in to a momentary temptation and exposing his own position."
At those words, Raido smacked his lips with a "tch" and nodded as if he got the point.
The man had ditched his position as court mage for some reason and washed up in this remote borderland.
He was clearly wary of anyone else discovering who he really was.
"Of course I'd love to receive your tutelage, Lord Raido.
But I'm stepping back out of concern that it might cause you unnecessary trouble.
So if that's offended you in any way, please disregard it."
Sion's words flowed as smoothly as if he'd slathered honey not just on his tongue, but between his lips and teeth.
Raido cleared his throat awkwardly and nodded in agreement.
A few well-chosen words could sway a thousand men, not just pay off a thousand-nyang debt, and this was a moment where the fruits of his hard-knock life—honing his silver tongue—shone particularly bright.
'...Fuck.
Still, it's a shame.'
He'd forgotten, but today had made it crystal clear.
In this pathetic body of his, he could never get strong, not even if he died and came back to life.
Unless the heavens split open, he got struck by lightning, or he underwent some total-body transformation like Kim Yoo-hyun, mana blocked him from just about everything.
"But you gonna explain or what?"
Raido's sudden jab made Sion turn to look at him.
"The reason you turned down my offer.
Sure, you say it's for my sake, but that can't be the whole story.
You're no saint, and there's no way you'd make a decision that huge, that fast, just out of concern for someone else."
Should he spill it?
Truth is, I'm a mana cripple.
I can't sense mana at all.
Spare me, Lord Raido!
Tempting as it was, Sion shook his head.
He'd been told never to reveal his weaknesses to anyone—not even family.
It wasn't about trust; there was just no need to hand others his Achilles' heel.
That left one issue.
How to conjure a reason that would blow away both Raido's and Sebastian's curiosity in one shot.
"There's no special reason.
As I said, I'm a guy who's accomplished nothing so far.
Just livestock scraping by because I lucked into good parents."
"Young Lord."
"So, I want to do something on my own.
If I'm going to get strong, I want to do it by myself. If I'm going to grow, I want to find my own path through the pain.
That's why I turned down your offer, Lord Raido."
"...!"
Sion's answer made not just Raido, but even Sebastian standing beside him, falter for a moment.
The spoiled firstborn of the Clauzen family—the one they'd called a thunderbolt-brained fool not even half a step from disaster—had suddenly flipped a switch and declared he wanted to get strong.
He wanted to accomplish things on his own.
It was a massive change.
Or perhaps this was his true self all along, hidden behind layers of masks to keep the world and others from seeing it.
'Sion Clauzen is this kind of guy?'
It was the first time Raido's and Sebastian's thoughts aligned.
Realizing the fool they'd dismissed as an idiot had been meticulously hiding his real self and putting on an act sent a chill creeping up their spines.
To fool powerhouses like them so effortlessly!
"...Young Lord, if it's not too rude, I'll take my leave."
"Go ahead, Sebastian.
Rest up, and we'll see you tomorrow."
Sebastian was the first to exit.
Even as he left Sion's room, he glanced back at his young master, convinced that everything he'd seen until now was just one of the bold youth's many masks.
He'd only faced the mask, never the man beneath, and a flicker of anger rose—not at Sion, but at himself.
How long had it been since a powerhouse like him had been so thoroughly played?
'Just yesterday, I was worrying about the Clauzen family's future after Margrave Lichten's death. But not anymore.
Sion Clauzen.
I thought he was some worm, but he's been hiding his real body and just sticking out a single hair to look like one.'
Sebastian walked on, thinking that far more interesting things lay ahead.
Meanwhile, once Sebastian had gone, Raido—who had been sitting silently—finally stood.
"You leaving?"
"Yeah.
I don't wanna look at the face of the punk who shot down my offer so bluntly."
"There were circumstances, as I explained..."
"Shut it."
Raido began sketching a magic formula.
At a glance, it looked like idle finger-wiggling, but dig deeper and it was packed with equations and calculations that would baffle most mages.
"One thing."
"I'm listening."
"How's my daughter?"
"...Pardon?"
Raido's question hit Sion like a 180 km/h fastball to the skull.
Caught off guard, Sion floundered, and Raido's face twisted in a scowl.
"Nothing's more pathetic than a man hesitating when asked about a woman!
Sure, you've got a knack for hiding yourself and fooling others, but that shit ain't useful in every situation, you damn fool!"
"S-Sorry!
My bad!"
It was the bellow of an ordinary old man, but the killing intent packed inside was sharper than any blade.
Sion snapped to attention, apologized first, then scrambled to think.
As his deliberation dragged on, Raido opened his mouth as if to help.
"No answer in five seconds, and I'll tear you limb from limb."
Crazy bastard!
No joke—he looked dead serious about the dismemberment—so Sion just blurted it out raw.
"I don't know."
"...You don't know?"
"It's a stupid answer, but yeah, I really don't.
I don't know how to look at Lady Lucia, or what feelings I should have when I do."
He braced for a torrent of abuse.
Worried a fist might come flying at his face, but mercifully, it didn't.
"Ha, fuck... You're a real piece of work."
Clutching his forehead and muttering more to himself, Raido finished the formula.
Before vanishing somewhere, he looked at Sion and said,
"You don't need to call her 'Lady.'"
"Huh?"
"I'm giving you special permission.
You can call my daughter by her name.
You miserable bastard."
Whoosh!
Mana surged, and Raido vanished from the spot in an instant.
Silence fell like the calm after a typhoon.
Sion numbly scanned his surroundings, then collapsed into a chair as his legs gave out.
"Haha... Fuck, I'm screwed."
His life had already diverged sharply from the original Sion's in the novel.
He'd come face-to-face with Raido—someone he'd never even crossed paths with—and gotten an offer of discipleship, learned Sebastian's secret, and on top of that, earned strange looks from these monsters.
What if he got swept up in events even he couldn't predict?
But he couldn't afford to fret over an uncertain future while ignoring the obvious pit right in front of him.
'I'll stick to the novel's flow as much as possible, but I'll carve my own path to survival.
Sion Clauzen was just a guy living to torment Kim Yoo-hyun anyway, so putting in real effort to live right won't derail the continent's history or the story too much.'
And if his actions somehow altered the plot, Sion would just yell "Fuck off" and pivot to survival mode.
His purpose here wasn't to help the protagonist or anything noble—it was simply to survive in this absurd world. Who had time to care about others?
One misstep and he'd be dead. He was too busy saving his own skin.
"For starters, how do I fix this weak-ass body and mana-blindness... Ha, fuck..."
Inability to handle mana was a fatal flaw.
In the novel, Sion Clauzen never overcame it his whole life.
He'd barely even tried, but people with zero mana sensitivity were seen as having an incurable disease.
'How the hell do I overcome this?
Should I throw myself into mana training starting now?
Maybe even a scrap of change will come?'
Today he'd survived by talking his way out. Tomorrow, he'd have to put his body on the line.
Among all the villains, Sion Clauzen had the worst reputation by far.
Rotten personality, nauseating pettiness and cowardice, pointless jealousy, filthy desires.
No one knew better than him what enemies he'd faced, what ordeals he'd endured, and what end he'd met.
He didn't want to die like that.
He didn't want to live like a loser like that.
He wanted to survive—his way.
'Let's do it.
I'll survive no matter what, and live better than the protagonist.
Fuck you, author.'
―――――――――
Rustle—.
Margrave Lichten was in the middle of reviewing reports and documents on territory affairs.
His eyes suddenly sharpened, and his hand went to the hilt of the sword at his side.
"Stand down.
He's not some creep with shady intentions."
With Raido's arrival, Margrave Lichten sighed, removed his glasses, and stood.
"Lord Raido."
"Long time no see, Lichten.
Feels like a year."
"A year? It's been well over three."
"Huh?
Really?
Fuck... Am I actually getting dementia?"
Margrave Lichten burst out laughing at Raido's mutterings.
Could a senile old man sketch those intricate magic formulas like doodles and teleport into the castle's grand anti-magic barrier without a hitch?
"What brings you here so suddenly?"
"I've got a lot to talk to you about."
When Margrave Lichten offered him a seat, Raido flopped onto the sofa and continued.
"Your son."
"...My eldest?"
"Yeah.
The one from your late first wife.
Sion Clauzen."
"Why bring up my eldest all of a sudden..."
"How much do you think you really know about that kid... no, that boy?"