The smell of spring, the sound of birds, the feeling of grass on his bare feet…
He opened his eyes; two naked boys were pulling his hand as they walked to a plum tree. No, he didn't open his eyes, they were already open. What opened was his consciousness.
"Who are you?"
The two boys turned towards him. One had blond hair that shone under the sunlight; the other had purple hair like lavender.
"Big brother Durand, did you finally come to your senses?" the purple-haired boy said.
"No, he is like in a half-awake state."
"Big brother Durand, you are our big brother, though not from the same mother or father still."
"The state you are in right now happens often. You said it happens when you are trying to remember your past life memories with your magic, so with only your soul, you travel somewhere for it but when you travel, your body remains mindless. We make you eat stuff so you don't remain hungry. And when you come back like this, we tell you who you are, so you wake up faster. You are Durand; our big brother."
"We three are half-nymph children and this place is the Nymph Realm, ."
The purple-haired boy said and pointed around the forest. Each tree and bush around the forest was filled with fruits and berries.
"We nymphs are like humans but have weird colored hair and we talk differently, but big brother taught us how to talk like humans thanks to the memories you gained back so far. Not just that, the Nymph Realm is far away from civilization, but you taught us various things and told us tales."
The two children were enthusiastic about telling every little detail so he could remember who he was faster. He wanted to answer their efforts; what they told him felt so familiar to his soul, so he touched that familiarity, and like a bubble bursting, his memories flooded his mind.
"Thank you, Yel, Lav. I remember now."
The two boys smiled brightly.
"We are so good at this."
"He didn't remain confused even for a minute."
"Hehe, as a reward, let's go swimming in the sea," the blond boy, Yel, said, and Lav nodded. They dashed and raced, leaving Durand behind.
"Wait… Please wait…"
Durand's weak voice couldn't stop them. His body and mind was still in dissonance, he couldn't move as he wanted. He took a few steps towards them and tripped.
"Please don't leave me alone, not now. I don't want to be alone now."
Normally Durand wanted them to leave him alone for a bit because of his headache, but this time he needed them, there was something he didn't want to focus on, something he wanted to ignore.
Durand was cursed. Not by anyone, nor by something real, yet his mind was breaking apart because of that curse.
It had been with him for as long as he could remember. Whenever he encountered something new, it felt less like learning and more like recalling. A shadowy presence whispered that he had lived these moments before.
When he had first tasted an apple, that jarring feeling was there; when he had first smelt lavender, that jarring feeling was there; it had sullied his discovery of the world as a child. It was more annoying than if a bug were to crawl under his skin or if a fly were to live in his ear for years. Those were more tangible.
The source of that feeling was from before his birth; he had known nothing about it but known the shadow of his memories was there in his mind.
So he had tried to remember it, and so he had succeeded. He had his magic, which was a gift from his past life, to help him.
His magic had become his map, then his torch, then his key; it had guided him to his memories. In his past life, he had been an executioner in a small town, a young man struggling with isolation.
He had learned seventeen years of that life, and today he had learned of his last day. It wasn't his death, just a normal day, but his instinct told him he wouldn't be able to learn what lay in the next day. The light of his magic wouldn't reach further; he already saw beyond the last lock his magic could open.
'Why does it feel so excruciatingly painful? I learned so much, yet why do I feel worse than before…? Knowing something is there but not knowing what it is. Living under the shadow of that thing when I can't even pretend to know what it is...'
Why was hell described as under the earth while heaven was above the sky? Because the sky was all open to the eye to see, yet on earth, one could dig and dig and would eventually reach a layer of rock. What lay beyond that? Eternal torment had been the answer of the priest.
Durand, too, dug into his past to reach a wall, and for some reason, he wanted to cry and scream in pain. What lay beyond the wall was him of the past, and he could only imagine himself suffering.
Why did these stupid feelings drown him so much? They didn't stand on logic and the past was past, it had nothing to do with him anymore. Nevertheless, those feelings clung to his throat.
"It isn't those feelings but something else will lead to your death."
Durand turned towards the voice and saw a nymph.
"Why can you talk like humans?"
The nymphs communicated with meaningless murmurs and touching, not through words. Was she a human? No, that beauty was undeniably that of nymphs.
She was a slim woman but had a motherly presence to her and had a sense of incompleteness, that was hard to describe.
"I can talk, and I can know. It is unimportant for you to know the reasons for those. The only thing you need to know is your own nature. Your soul is too weak; without a purpose holding it together, it is bound to break, leading to your death."
Durand chose not to focus on the fact she was talking like a human, instead focusing on the thing she said, which made him only confused. Did that nymph read his mind?
"How do you know those things?"
"I have been watching."
"...Is my soul weak because my travels to my past weakened it?"
The nymph knew something that might be useful to him so he didn't stop himself from asking important questions regardless of how weird the sittuation was.
"No, it's been weak from its creation, and now you are losing your purpose of remembering your memories. It shows how truly weak it is."
"What am I supposed to do then?"
"To know the heaviness of your death is a start."
The nymph touched Durand's shoulder, and Durand found himself in a different place. He stood on top of the sea, but the sea didn't continue in front of them. There was no land, no sea, no clouds, no sky. It was nothing, something, anything, everything, one, many, other, other, other other otherotherothetOTHEROTHEROTHEROTHEROTHER.
The nymph touched Durand's shoulder again and they returned to the Nymph Realm.
"...What was that?"
Durand asked beneath his ragged breaths.
"The answer to an ancient question. What would happen if the First Throne were to be bored by the world."
"First Throne?"
"The great god, the one who stands above the other, lesser Thrones of Heaven. And the reason for this world's existence. The world is there for Their entertainment, and when They become bored of it, it shall be discarded. What you have seen is the end that is approaching from the corners of this world."
"When? Can't anyone save us?"
Durand let out a panicked gust of air that he reshaped into a word at the last moment.
"It can happen at any moment. The lesser Thrones tried and failed to save the world and they don't have the strength to try again... Three of them sealed, two of them broken, one of them dead, and one of them in a state worse than dead."
"Sarrahm (Connection) the one and only god I worshipped in my past life... Is He the First Throne?"
"He is the lesser god who is in a state worse than dead."
Durand fell to his knees covering his face.
"Why are you telling me all of this? Who are you?"
"I want you to know and take good care of yourself because you are the center of the whole existence."
Durand raised his head, confused.
"Is this some kind of poetry?"
"Know this, I am only telling you the truth."
Durand felt the nymph's words resonated with the world itself. Her words contained weight that he could feel in his soul.
"This is a divine proclamation. As long as I speak the truth you will not be able to deny it. The First Throne, for the first time in thousands of years, cast Their gaze onto the world, onto you. Your magic is closely related to Them and that drew Their gaze to you. That gaze is dulled by boredom to the point They can no longer see the world through Their own eyes but only through yours.
So, you become the eyes of heaven, that long lost Their sight. You become the storyteller of a tale that should never end. Your voice might entertain Them or bore Them, all on your shoulders. If you live a boring life, the world will end. If you not accomplish feats, the world will end. And if you die, the world will end. And when you accomplish feats, your magic shall break its limits, get stronger and you will learn more of your past life."
Durand's eyes shook as his body froze. He raised his hand to hold on to the nymph or anything that could help him.
"It is too much, it is too much for me. I am not fit for this. What do you mean feats? Like those in legends? I am not a hero! Can't you help me, please."
"You are not a hero, you are more than that and I can't help you. I am only but a fleeting will, drifted away from a broken god. I don't have a body or a mind, I am just a message coming from Her miraculous and momentary clearness."
The nymph slowly lost its form, turning to mist drifting away with the wind.
"Now that I fulfilled my purpose, my end has come, and in my last crumb of consciousness, I wish you the same fate as I had. A life that fulfilled its purpose."
"You called me weak, then left the world's weight onto me? What am I supposed to do?!"