š Aftermath and Administrative Oversight
Kai stood on the outskirts of the massive, hastily assembled Allied Shinobi camp, watching the colossal dust clouds settle in the distance. His N.S. had stabilized at 50, a small fortune in currency dedicated to disruption.
He had stopped the apocalypse, but the underlying conflictāthe animosity between the Villages, the deep-seated grudges, and the presence of the recovering but still immortal Madara Uchihaāstill guaranteed a spectacular, resource-draining, 400-chapter war.
"Stopping the climax is easy. Stopping the mid-season grind is the real challenge," Kai muttered, rubbing the grime off his hoodie.
His goal: prevent the massive, multi-village final conflict (Designate: 'The Exhausting Climax') by introducing a threat more immediately irritating than mutual annihilation.
"O.N.S., I need to create a threat that cannot be punched, burned, or sealed. Something that bypasses their combat prowess and hits them where they live: their organizational structure."
[Current N.S.: 50. Optimal Strategy: Administrative Warfare.]
[Manifestation Choice: Non-Combat, Inter-Dimensional Regulatory Body (Designate: The I.V.C.E.S.R.M.). Cost: N.S. 40.]
"The Inter-Village Council for Ethical and Sustainable Resource Management (I.V.C.E.S.R.M.). Excellent," Kai affirmed. "We're going to use the classic 'Sudden Appearance of Overbearing, Unskippable Regulation' trope."
He spent the 40 N.S. The System instantly deducted the points, and a brief, silent flash of magenta light illuminated the battlefield.
š¼ Introducing Agent Gary
The joint war council was in emergency session. The leaders of the Five Great Nations were discussing how to rally their troops after the bizarre intervention and the near-success of the enemy. The atmosphere was a volatile mix of panic, exhaustion, and deep, ancestral suspicion.
Suddenly, a localized, slightly tacky burst of lightālike a camera flash in an unlit roomāerupted in the very center of the strategic planning table.
When the light cleared, standing amidst the detailed battle maps and hastily scribbled jutsu notes, was Agent #7, Gary.
Gary was a middle-aged man who looked like he'd been pulled directly from a community college finance department. He wore a too-tight, pale gray polyester suit, sensible black shoes, and carried a laminated ID badge and a clipboard that was alarmingly thick.
"A-hem," Gary announced, adjusting his cheap, clip-on tie. His voice was nasal and utterly devoid of chakra, but somehow commanded immediate, painful attention. "Good morning, gentlemen and ladies. I apologize for the intrusion, but I am here on behalf of the I.V.C.E.S.R.M. We have an immediate regulatory issue concerning your recent operational expenditures."
The highest-ranking Earth-Style Kage slammed his hand on the table. "Who are you? We are at war! This is a secure military command!"
Gary frowned, consulting his clipboard with infuriating diligence. "Yes, I see 'War.' And that's precisely the issue, sir. Your combined Chakra consumption over the last 72 hoursālisted here as 'Apocalyptic Defense Operations'āhas exceeded the Sustainable Resource Threshold (S.R.T.) by exactly 3,421.7%. This is highly irresponsible, not to mention a devastating blow to the regional Chakra ecosystem."
He pulled out an alarmingly detailed, seven-page invoice, printed in a tiny, aggressive font.
"You have incurred a substantial environmental fine," Gary stated, pushing the paperwork toward the leaders. "Furthermore, due to the failure to file the prerequisite Pre-Conflict Environmental Impact Statement (P.C.E.I.S.) form, we are activating the Chakra Blockade (C.B.) protocol, effective immediately."
šø The Chakra Budget
The assembled leadersāmen and women who could summon storms, move mountains, and destroy armiesāsuddenly felt a strange, chilling reduction in their personal power. Their ability to channel massive amounts of energy felt inexplicably restricted, capped at a level suitable only for lighting a candle or boiling a single cup of water.
"My Chakra... it's budgeted!" the Fire-Style Kage gasped, trying and failing to generate a massive fireball. The most he could manage was a small, flickering pilot light.
"Exactly," Gary said, clicking his pen. "Think of it as a mandatory 'Chakra Cooling-Off Period.' No massive, landscape-altering jutsu for 48 hours. You are currently only cleared for Tier 1, Energy-Efficient Techniques. Anything more is a breach of compliance and will incur an additional late fee (L.F. $500,000,000,000,000,000)."
Chaos erupted. The ninja leaders, who thrived on dramatic force and escalating violence, were now paralyzed by the fear of accruing insurmountable debt and regulatory action.
"We can't fight Madara Uchiha with parlor tricks!" the temperamental Kage roared, his voice suddenly squeaky and mild due to the restriction. "This is impossible!"
Kai, observing the delicious panic from a hidden vantage point, used his remaining N.S. to cement the disruption.
[N.S. 10. Activating: Targeted Psychological Suggestion (T.P.S.).]
[Target: Allied Shinobi Forces Leadership. Suggestion: The massive stress of the conflict suggests mandatory, immediate mental health intervention is required.]
Agent Gary, having received the T.P.S. update on his clipboard, adjusted his glasses again.
"I suggest you use this mandated 48-hour pause for Conflict Resolution and Wellness," Gary droned. "The I.V.C.E.S.R.M. strongly recommends mandatory Group Therapy Sessions, guided meditation focused on emotional centering, and inter-village communication that does not involve any threats, personal insults, or projectile weapons."
The idea of the legendary Kage sitting in a circle, sharing their feelings and validating each other's trauma, was so profoundly humiliating that the threat of Madara Uchiha suddenly felt distant and preferable. The entire war effort had been downgraded to a highly awkward corporate retreat.
š The Villain's W.O.P. Revocation
The heroes were neutralized, but Kai needed to ensure Madara couldn't just wait out the 48-hour cooling period.
A separate, very large scroll was delivered to Madara Uchiha's personal lair (a cave, naturally) via a System-generated delivery drone that was surprisingly fast and surprisingly quiet.
The scroll stated:
To: Madara Uchiha (Self-Identified Ancient Warlord, Unincorporated Entity)
Subject: Formal Complaint and Regulatory Notification: Warlord Operating Permit (W.O.P.) Revocation.
Dear Mr. Uchiha,
Following the failure to file your Form 30-B (Post-Mortem Reanimation Disclosure) and multiple violations of Section 4.1-B (Ethical Mind Control), your Warlord Operating Permit (W.O.P.) is being permanently revoked.
Furthermore, you have failed to remit payment for the aforementioned Environmental Fine. Your continued attempts at world domination without a valid permit constitute Unlicensed and Uninsured Catastrophe Creation.
You are required to appear for a mandatory regulatory compliance hearing within 7 days. Failure to comply will result in a Default Judgment and the forced seizure of all Susano'o-related equipment.
Please note: The Chakra Blockade applies equally to rogue entities. We advise spending this time on low-impact hobbies.
Thank you for your mandatory cooperation.
Agent #7, Gary (I.V.C.E.S.R.M.)
Madara Uchiha, the man who had resurrected himself from the dead, felt a powerful, debilitating, administrative headache. The sheer complexity and mundane audacity of the forms were more overwhelming than a thousand exploding tags. He crumpled the paper, but it immediately unfolded, pristine and regulatory.
"This is an insult to villainy! I am the final boss! I don't fill out Form 30-B!" he roared, his voice muffled by the Chakra budget.
He tried to summon the massive, purple Susano'o, but it manifested only as a shimmering, translucent outlineāa mere Tier 1, Energy-Efficient Susano'o Sketch. It looked frail and deeply apologetic.
[Narrative Intervention Success! Villain Strategic Paralysis Achieved by Administrative Overload.]
[Narrative Score (N.S.) Gain: +70! (The W.O.P. Revocation was particularly effective.)]
[Current N.S.: 100! Host has unlocked the next major upgrade: Minor Reality Anchor (M.R.A.).]
šŖ Exit, Stage Left
Kai smiled, checking his N.S. balance. "One hundred points. Enough for an official exit and a proper ride to the next world."
He didn't need to fight. He didn't need to stay. His job here was complete: he had successfully downgraded an epic war into a bureaucratic logjam, ensuring the heroes survived the opening arc and the villain was too busy dealing with regulatory compliance to pursue his endgame.
"O.N.S., I'm activating the new Minor Reality Anchor," Kai commanded. "I need transport to World 12-B: The Endless Sea Saga. Make it waterproof, quick, and visually confusing."
[Minor Reality Anchor (M.R.A.) Activated! Cost: N.S. 10.]
[Manifesting: One (1) Yellow, two-seater, self-inflating, interdimensional life raft. Suitable for oceanic drift.]
A small, folded yellow bundle materialized in his hand.
"A raft," Kai deadpanned. "I disrupt reality with tax forms, and I get a pool toy as an escape vehicle. Right."
He quickly unfolded the raft, which inflated with a fwoomp and settled on the ground. He climbed aboard just as a desperate figure in military gear approached, waving a bright green form.
It was the blonde hero, who had clearly taken the "Mandatory Group Therapy" to heart and was now overly obsessed with following the rules.
"Kai! Wait! Agent Gary says you didn't file your Inter-Village Visitor's Visa (I.V.V.V.) form! That's a minimum $50 fine! You have to come back and fill out the disclosure statement for the pineapple!" the hero yelled, his voice now calm and strangely centered.
Kai grinned, waving casually from the life raft. "Sorry, Compliance! I'm on a tight production schedule! Tell Agent Gary I'll expense the fine in the next world!"
With a subtle surge of System power, the inflatable raft lifted off the ground, ignoring the laws of physics and the screaming demands of the now thoroughly organized and compliant Allied Forces.
As he sailed over the treetops toward the coast, the O.N.S. chimed one last time.
[World Designation: 77-A (The Ninja Chronicle) ā Closure.]
[Final Assessment: Narrative integrity: Compromised. War status: Budgeted. Protagonist readiness: Delayed. Host performance: Excellent.]
[Proceeding to World Designation: 12-B (The Endless Sea Saga). Host is advised to acquire a companion who understands maritime law.]
Kai lay back in the tiny raft, the Pineapple Stress Ball his sole carry-on. "Maritime law, huh? I wonder if pirates pay capital gains tax."
His adventure was just beginning, and the sea was waiting.