Under the moonlight, you sit frozen. In front of you, Henri sits with slumped shoulders, his breath heavy as if carrying the world's burden. He slowly lifts his face, his heavy eyelids staring at you in silence.
"What do you think?" you ask him.
He stares blankly for a few seconds, as if piecing together his scattered consciousness. His head tilts slightly, his lips open without sound, then he rubs his face full of sweat mixed with dust.
"What's up suddenly?" He pauses for a moment. "What do you mean?"
You stare into his eyes. "Do you think she hates me?" you say, your voice soft, fragile like thin glass.
"What makes you think that?" He blinks quickly, not understanding your question. Then he bows his head, his gaze falling to the glass in his hand, his fingers circling the rim of the glass, turning it slowly. The golden liquid inside sways slightly, the foam on its edge starting to deflate, similar to your hopes right now.
"Her attitude, I mean my invitation was rejected," you say, your voice gradually getting smaller, drowning in the roar of the night wind.
Hearing that, he sighs long, staring at you with a tired but sharp gaze. "That's really unreasonable. Why do you think you're hated because she rejected your dinner invitation. Perhaps she already promised her office friends. So she doesn't think about accepting anyone's invitation."
He lifts the glass slowly, holding it toward the sky, letting the moonlight get trapped and vibrate inside the golden liquid.
"You're overreacting to something. Remember, I once said that she has rejected someone's invitation besides you, someone who tried to approach her and wanted to pursue a relationship. Then, after knowing this, why do you consider yourself special, different from those people? The effort you gave her isn't different either."
His words sting, but Henri isn't done. "If you want to be considered special, then you have to take actions that truly benefit her. This is what will make you special in someone's eyes, especially someone like Miss Ganyu. She's at the top level."
"If the value you give isn't much, you won't have a chance and end up like the people she rejected. Die in loneliness. You're not the protagonist who has a story portion in everyone's life. Even in my life, you're not the protagonist, but I am."
Then he pauses briefly, drinking the beer in the glass, letting that bitter reality seep into your mind.
"However, even though you're not the protagonist, you can still enter other people's lives, perhaps you want to enter Miss Ganyu's life, you have to take an important role for her, benefit her, depending on your choice, that role will be remembered then forgotten, of course don't expect too much like that role will last a lifetime. Be realistic, that's impossible."
He puts the glass back on the table, landing with a dull sound. His head sways slightly, blinking long. Then his eyes glance sideways. You follow his gaze.
There, a bit far away, two pairs of people sit close together, their laughter rising and falling softly, their silhouettes overlapping with the large moon hanging brightly in the night sky, perfectly round like a stage light for mortal life drama.
Henri and you stare at them in silence. Then Henri speaks again.
"Your races are different. You are human. And you might die when your age reaches a hundred years, but not her. Miss Ganyu is an Adeptus, half Qilin, her age can last hundreds or even thousands of years. While you die, she will live alone. Maybe someone will try to approach her again, maybe not, and she will live alone for the rest of her life."
He pauses. This time he stares at you. You stare back at him.
"Can you accept such an outcome?"
You stay silent for a few minutes, leaving Henri in silence. During that time, he waits for your answer while sipping his drink, while your brain spins trying to digest that unreasonable time scale.
After a time that feels so long, you say, "I didn't expect that to come out of your mouth."
"Something normal." He shrugs. "You don't know me yet."
"You said she's an Adeptus, what is that actually?" you tilt your head.
"Emmm?" He stares at your face for so long, then rubs his chin gently. "Don't they know the term Adeptus in your place?"
Henri taps his foot repeatedly, his fingers clenching on the table. Then he bows his head slightly. "Simply put, Adeptus is an animal, a god, who has a long life, and protects Liyue throughout its life. They protect Liyue from demon attacks and evil gods."
You tilt your head, your eyes narrowing. "Does that mean they have fought, protected Liyue, hundreds or even thousands of years ago?"
"That's it," he says straightforwardly.
Bruh, your mind wild, does that mean I'm forced by the system to pursue a relationship with a grandma?
This is too much, isn't it?
Well, I understand she's beautiful... but seriously?
Adults are more attractive, they are far more experienced, but I didn't expect her age to be more than hundreds of years...
Maybe that's excessive because I see it from a human perspective, whose life is short like a dragonfly.
You stay silent a few seconds longer than usual. Your jaw tenses briefly, then you draw a breath and force your face back flat, looking as normal as possible. "If I may know, how old is Miss Ganyu?"
Hearing that question, Henri narrows his eyes. "Better not ask this question to the person directly. That's very rude."
When saying this, Henri shifts his gaze back to the couple. You follow his gaze direction.
Under the moon-bathed sky, the two of them hold their breath, close their eyes. And slowly, let their lips slide slowly closer. You stay silent, your breath held briefly, staring at the distance between their lips getting closer, and slowly disappear. At that time, the night seems to stop as the two sink deeper into each other.
You don't try to look away, your eyes just fixed on them.
"Sorry," you say softly, briefly, feeling guilty being a spectator of that intimate moment.
Then Henri shifts his gaze from the couple and sighs. "I don't know for sure, maybe thousands of years."
At first you freeze, tilting your head doubtfully, confused, then your breath held when that reality hits, your heart suddenly beats hard. In an instant you shake your head, left and right, while drawing a deep breath.
"What's with your reaction." He narrows his eyes, suspicious. "Don't tell me you feel disappointed because of that."
"Don't tell me you want to pursue a relationship without thinking about all that. Are you just playing around?" he asks firmly. "Then you're not worthy of a serious relationship. You shouldn't play with someone's feelings. You don't show respect to your potential partner."
"What do you think I should do?"
He shrugs. "Perhaps find out the reason why you want to date her?"
You mean because forced by the system?
But I think that's not what he means... besides he doesn't know I'm forced by this bastard system. What he means is perhaps another reason.
The reason why I approach her, not others.
Henri glances again at the couple. You observe his reaction, so you know, now he shows a shocked face—widening eyes briefly with held breath, but a second later his shoulders drop slowly.
You observe this, and follow his gaze direction again.
There, your gaze catches a girl, who seems your age, standing with trembling body, her tears falling, staring at the couple.
The man, who perhaps just kissed his partner, shocked when his eyes meet the girl—his eyes widen briefly, shoulders tense, and his body suddenly trembles. He tries to stand from his seat, tries to approach the crying girl.
His partner, a beautiful girl who looks more mature, stares at the man. Her gaze fixed briefly, and blinks quickly, then her brows rise sharply, she straightens her posture. She stays silent in place with hands clenched tight.
And you hear him say, I can explain this! Listen to me!
But the girl, whose tears still flow, stares at the man getting closer, her eyes, somehow seem glowing red, or perhaps that's just your feeling. Then she swings her hand, quickly, and hits the man in an instant, without doubt.
Plak!
Time seems to stop so long, the dry sound from that slap still so attached to the night air. Before the man can speak, the girl, who cries turns. She runs away with all her might, trying to wipe her tears roughly.
You glance at Henri who still looks shocked at that very short incident, then he stares at you and shrugs.
Hey, you just witnessed infidelity, don't act as if you didn't see it!
Henri, who still stares at you, closes his eyes and clears his throat, ignoring the human drama beside him as if it's just passing wind.
"I think you just need to be yourself. Do what you think is right. If she doesn't like it, perhaps there's something in you that doesn't match her, perhaps need to be changed so it can be tolerated, could be your attitude, or whatever."
"Everything needs sacrifice. Romance is no exception. And you need to remember one thing. You must respect her choice. If she really doesn't want to be with you, even if you've tried your hardest and sacrificed many things, including time, then you must give up. There are still many girls out there, buddy."
He really ignored what just happened in front of his eyes... truly a terrifying man!
After hearing that, you say, "I understand, thank you for listening to my story." You pause briefly, then continue, "I didn't expect telling stories would give me insight."
He props his chin. "Let me guess, this is the first time you've told someone." then he straightens his back. "You must not have had friends before."
You're not wrong... I indeed don't have friends. If I were good at socializing, I would have dated someone long ago.
"By the way, you seem to like reading novels..." you say in a soft voice, preparing to leave.
"Occasionally in free time."
Because you feel your business here is done, you sigh and stand up.
"So. Then see you."
He stares at you shocked.
"Is that all? Don't tell me you came here just to convey your complaints because your dinner invitation was rejected?" he asks, perhaps a bit unexpected, or perhaps that's just his mask.
"Is it not allowed?" you stare at him and smile.
"Hey, what do you think of me as?" he narrows his eyes. Then he laughs. "See you. Good luck."
You walk home alone, your steps echoing on the empty streets. Information about Ganyu's immortality and your mortality spins in your head like a storm.
That night, on the hard lodging mattress, you have a nightmare. You dream of seeing Ganyu standing in a field of never-wilting flowers, while you run toward her, your body aging, wrinkling, and finally crumbling into dust before your hand can touch her shoulder.
She remains young, remains beautiful, and remains alone.
…
You wake up this morning with racing breath, the remnants of the nightmare about immortal Ganyu and you becoming dust still clinging like spider webs on your face. Cold sweat soaks your back.
You force yourself to prepare for work. You wash your face, put on your clothes, and step out.
You go through your daily routine as usual, or at least you try to act normal.
You stand beside Uncle Zhang, shouting merchandise prices, smiling at customers, and wrapping wooden toys.
But behind that smile, your mind floats far, lost between yesterday's rejection and fear of the future.
After finishing work, the sun starts leaning west, painting the sky with copper color.
You help old man Zhang take his cart home, the wooden wheels creaking in rhythm with your sore back.
Now your task is done. Your obligation paid.
Then in the afternoon, you go home to your lodging.
You drop your body on the hard lodging mattress, staring at the wooden ceiling full of water stains with the back of your hand on your forehead. The bustling sound outside sounds faint, as if from another world.
"Euh, I feel lazy to meet Miss Ganyu..." you mutter to the dust floating in the room air.
"I always tell myself that she might be busy, so distancing myself is the right choice."
You sigh long, exhaling the frustration clumping in your chest.
That's a logical reason, right? She's the Qixing Secretary. She's busy.
You're just a nuisance. Distancing is a noble action. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself to wrap the wound of your ego scratched by yesterday's rejection.
But is this the right thing?
That question hangs in the air, refusing to go.
Are you distancing because respecting her time, or because you're afraid of getting hurt again? Are you being wise, or are you being a coward?
For me, the answer is the latter.
"I think this is just a futile delay," you whisper, honestly admitting your own weakness. "But even if futile, I want to appreciate it. I want to appreciate this safe feeling for a moment."
But then, the echo of Henri's voice in last night's tavern rings back in your ears. His sharp but realistic words pierce the self-pity bubble you built.
"You're not the protagonist in everyone's life... If you want to be considered special, you have to take a role."
And his advice about being yourself. About effort. About how regret is far worse than rejection.
You sigh once more, this time harder, as if wanting to expel the doubt ghost from your lungs.
Staying silent in this cramped room will only make me crazy.
These walls seem getting closer, squeezing you with negative thoughts.
"Better I go for a walk."
You rise, tidy your wrinkled clothes, and leave the room. You descend the creaking wooden stairs, pass the empty lodging lobby, and push the front door.
You have no goal.
You just want the night wind to slap your face and wake you up.
You step out of the lodging. Liyue's night air greets you, cold and smelling of salt and burning incense. The street in front of your lodging not too crowded, only a few pedestrians passing.
Your mind still churns about scenarios in your head.
What if I never meet her again?
What if she forgets me?
And then, the universe answers your question in the most direct way.
What if when you meet Ganyu as she exits the lodging? Not in imagination, but in reality.
Right when you step onto the stone street, your eyes catch a silhouette you know very well.
There, only a few meters from your lodging entrance, stands she.
That cerulean blue hair glistens softly under the street lantern light. Those black-red horns curve gracefully, the unmistakable sign of Adeptus nobility.
She stands there, perhaps passing on her way home, or perhaps checking a bulletin board nearby.
That's Ganyu.
What if you and Ganyu meet face to face and she is shocked seeing you?
That scenario happens in seconds. You stop suddenly. She turns because hearing the door open sound.
Your eyes meet.
Time seems frozen. The bustling harbor sound in the distance vanishes. Only you and her on that narrow street.
Her heterochromia eyes round. She's shocked seeing you, just like you're shocked seeing her. Her mouth slightly open, as if there's a word held there, but no sound comes out.
Seeing her staring at you in silence, you feel extraordinary awkwardness. Blood rushes up to your face. Your heart pounds ribs, wanting to jump out.
Why do I feel embarrassed seeing her...
Is it because my invitation was rejected yesterday? Do I look pathetic in her eyes now?
That inferiority feeling attacks again. She's an eternal noble creature, and you're just a mortal human who just woke from afternoon sleep with a messy face.
You want to run. You want to turn back inside, close the door, and pretend you're not there.
Ganyu looks hesitant. Her body moves restlessly, her feet shift slightly as if she also doesn't know what to do. She sees you starting to turn your face away, sees your body gesture ready to escape this interaction.
This situation is on the edge. One wrong move, and you'll pass each other like two strangers, and that opportunity might not come again.
How...
What if I run?
No. Henri would laugh at you. The system would mock you, or even kill you. And most importantly, you'd hate yourself forever.
At this moment, you remember Henri's words again, and you feel enlightened.
"Respect her choice. But be yourself."
Being yourself means not running. Being yourself means facing the situation, no matter how awkward.
So, you gather the remnants of your courage scattered on your mental floor. You force your neck to be straight. You dare to stare back at Ganyu.
At least do it gradually, you think, trying to calm your heartbeats. If I don't try then I won't know her response.
When staring into her eyes, you feel a wave of embarrassment hitting again, making your tongue numb. You can't manage to smile wide or greet cheerfully "Hi, Miss Ganyu!" like nothing happened. That's too fake.
So, you choose a simple gesture. A universal language beyond words.
You nod.
A small nod. Brief. Respectful. Acknowledging her presence without demanding further interaction. It's an elegant way to say, "I see you, I respect you, and I won't disturb you."
Ganyu seems not to understand briefly. She blinks, her beautiful eyes blinking confused. But then, seeing the calmness on your face—or at least the calmness you try to display desperately—she slowly understands.
She then nods slowly too. A polite reply.
You feel she seems calm too. Her shoulders that were tense earlier start to relax. The tension in the air melts a bit.
You prepare to step past her, considering today's interaction enough up to there. Just a nod.
That's progress, right? I didn't run, and she didn't turn away. That's a small victory, at least for me.
You start moving your feet to walk in the opposite direction.
"ANO!"
That voice explodes out, loud and sudden, breaking the quiet street silence like firecrackers thrown into a library.
Hearing this the first time makes you immediately shocked, almost jumping out of your own skin. Your foot steps stop midway, as if there's a giant hand holding you.
That's not Ganyu's soft and calm voice like flowing water that you knew yesterday. That's not the Qixing Secretary's authoritative voice.
That's the voice of someone half-dead nervous, who forces herself to speak before her courage evaporates, a voice that comes out without volume control.
You turn your body quickly, staring at her in wonder. Your eyes widen.
Did she just shout? Seriously?
Ganyu stands there, frozen in her position. Her face blushes red, the red hue spreading from cheeks to the tips of her pointed ears, even her neck seems reddening. Her eyes open wide, realizing how loud her voice was just now.
She looks very embarrassed, as if wanting the ground to split and swallow her right then. Her hand squeezes her hem tightly, her knuckles whitening from the strong squeeze. The bells at her waist jingle softly due to her body vibration.
Kling… kling…
However, despite embarrassed, she doesn't retreat. She doesn't run.
She stares at you, then bows slightly staring at the stone street, then stares at you again. Her eyes move wildly, searching for the right words, trying to compose sentences amid her internal panic.
And she looks hesitant, her lips trembling softly, opening and closing several times.
You wait, holding your breath. The world seems to stop spinning.
Finally, she says it. Her voice now back soft, but clear, trembling with a mix of embarrassment and courage. A sentence that brings hope you never expected before.
"I… I can have dinner together, if today."
The night wind blows softly, carrying incense aroma from the harbor.
Your brain stops working briefly. Your logic system crashes. You can only stand there, processing that sentence word by word, trying to convince yourself this isn't hallucination due to hunger or nightmare.
I can have dinner together. If today.
She remembers your invitation. She thought about it. And now, she's the one taking initiative. She reverses the situation. The ice wall you thought eternal turns out to have a door, and she just opened it for you.
"Yeah?"
…
A/N: Writing this somehow makes me embarrassed myself… I can't stand it, damn! BTW sorry I can only update one chapter today. Honestly, the last scenario just popped into my head, not in my previous plan haha. So I'll have trouble continuing the story after this :skull: I forgot to say this. HAPPY NEW YEAR! May your hopes from the previous year, that haven't been achieved, be achieved this year!