The Threads
Hiccup, Toothless, and Moonbeam walked together across the slope toward the conspicuous and apparently lone Fury staring out into the distance.
Hiccup recalled certain lessons his father had given him for that inevitable day when he took over as Chief. One of those lessons had to do with a necessary duty that followed the raids: that of meeting with the survivors, usually a mother and her children, to console them and reassure them about their place in the tribe. His father had said that it was sometimes necessary to let the grief-stricken survivors take out their pain however they needed to, even if that involved letting them hurl curses at him or even punch him. That was acceptable as long as no one would be permanently hurt by it, of course.
While the lesson was relevant when comforting human survivors, he doubted that the same principle would work with dragon survivors. He certainly couldn't allow them to do anything violent.
He had no idea what to expect.
They stopped behind Dreamcatcher and saw that Tail-Hunter was beside her. The cub was laying on her belly with her head under her tailfins, likely still asleep. Dreamcatcher stared into the distance without otherwise reacting.
"Dreamcatcher?" Toothless softly hummed.
Dreamcatcher slowly glanced back over her shoulder at them. Her eyes were almost narrowed but also empty of any overt anger, pain, or anything else. Her tail was still, and she looked weary as she stared at them. She also looked very thin, as though she had not been eating well.
"You are back," she evenly said, pointing out the obvious.
"We flew in last night, us and our kin. Wing-Of-Ice, Eyes-That-Shimmer, and their kin will be here in a pawful of days," he said.
"Good."
"Has the pack been here for you both?" Toothless gently asked.
"Why do you care?"
"Because you are my packmate. You and Tail-Hunter. And because we want to help you be warmer."
She looked away from them and stared out into the distance.
"There is nothing you can do. Do not bother."
Hiccup frowned and stepped toward her. He knew well that what he had to say sounded trite, but it was still true. It was what someone who had lost much had to hear and believe. Nothing else would help.
"That's not true. Everyone can eventually move on and be happy. You are no different. We are here for you."
She looked back at him, fixing him with an empty gaze.
"You... what do you know? Have you ever lost someone who is your kin?"
He started to reply with how his mother was taken when he was only a baby, but that was... not something he remembered. He had been too young when that happened. That event had not truly hurt him, except through his not having a mother as he grew up.
"I... no... I haven't."
"You cannot know what I feel."
"Just... try to tell us. We are here to listen."
"I feel nothing. Nothing. Do you know what the last thing he said to me was?"
"What did he say?" he whispered.
She stared at her paws.
"I told him that we did not need to fly to the fighting and that he should stay here with me and Tail-Hunter. He said that he needed to fly with the pack... and that he trusted in you."
He looked away, stricken. That oppressive responsibility and guilt, hidden in the shadows and which all his family had done so much to try to help with, was still there in his heart.
Growls-At-His-Shadow trusted him... and died because of it. That was the simple truth of what happened.
Moonbeam stepped toward her and lay down beside her, stretching a white wing over her back.
"Hiccup has not been hurt by life like you have, but I have been. We have talked about... what happened before. I know how it feels to lose someone, two people you love."
He briefly wondered what Moonbeam was referring to when he remembered that Dreamcatcher had also lost a brother to humans.
It was not the best time to be asking such questions, but learning more about the truth of what had happened might help. That was his hope, at least. It was the best that anyone could do, even if it hurt some. The realization that she was not responsible was what helped Moonbeam move on from her problems stemming from her parents' deaths.
Something similar might be necessary for Dreamcatcher, and that meant confronting the painful past.
"What happened to your brother? What went wrong? Only if you want to talk about it," he asked.
Dreamcatcher did not whine or shy away from the question, which was very encouraging. She just stared into the distance across the plain.
"We had flown the nest together to search for other dark wings. We found... Growls-At-His-Shadow... and we all became friends who hunted and ranged together. I was older and knew more about the world. My brother had the most twisted ideas about humans. He thought that you were not prey and that we could try to share a range, so he tried to get humans to trust him. I saw him trying to bond with a human even after I told him about the danger. One day he did not come back. I went to find him, and I saw what they had done to him. His head was hanging from one of their dens."
"I'm... so sorry about that," he whispered.
She blinked and stared at him.
"Do not say what you do not mean."
Toothless and Moonbeam grumbled at that.
"And you should not blame him for what he did not do. He did not hurt your mate or any of us in the pack," Moonbeam explained.
"He has always wanted a better life for us all: a life where we and the humans can live in peace. Life will be better for Tail-Hunter and all our young," Toothless added with a gentle purr.
A long silence followed before Dreamcatcher weakly spoke, her voice trembling.
"You think that. I do not. Two times now those I loved have been killed because they trusted humans. What is next? Who else do I have to lose?"
Hiccup wiped away the tears with his sleeve. He had not known until that moment that he had been weeping.
"Nothing and no one. You won't lose any more. The war is over."
Dreamcatcher looked away from him and to Tail-Hunter, who was still apparently asleep. It was odd that she was still asleep. Cubs usually had a lot of energy and were up and about by this time in the day. Tail-Hunter was an especially lively and playful cub, but she might just be grieving by sleeping a lot.
"We were not in the fighting until you brought us into it! You killed him! You... did this! I blame you!" Dreamcatcher suddenly shouted after spinning on him.
Toothless stared at her in open shock while Moonbeam similarly was frozen at her side.
Hiccup looked away from Dreamcatcher, too hurt to properly answer her in that instant. She was just angry, in pain, distraught, and wanting to lash out at someone she could blame. That someone was him.
And, in a way, she was not completely wrong. He had played a significant part in getting the pack to come down out of hiding and safety. There had been a risk in what he had done.
Her shout woke up Tail-Hunter, who then flew to her paws and looked around in alarm.
"Dam! What is..."
Tail-Hunter saw everyone gathered nearby and then went silent, staring at her paws. Her now being awake changed the entire confrontation.
"Dam, what is happening?" Tail-Hunter whined.
Deathcatcher said nothing, whether because she was unable to think or unsure what to say. Someone had to say or do something.
However, he had no time to do anything before Flame-In-The-Night glided down the slope. Far-Flight and Sky-Dancer similarly approached behind him. They had probably all heard Dreamcatcher's shout a few seconds ago.
"What is the problem?" Flame-In-The-Night asked after landing before them.
"We do not agree on where the blame falls... for what happened," Toothless grumbled.
Flame-In-The-Night huffed and looked to Dreamcatcher.
"It is on the Alphas... on me and Snowfall. We are responsible for all in the pack. This is not your fault. Do not blame yourself."
Dreamcatcher closed her eyes and hung her head, going completely still. When she looked up again, she appeared far more composed and calm than she had been before.
"True. I do blame myself. This is my fault."
Sky-Dancer, looking rather worried, calmly approached and nuzzled Tail-Hunter.
Far Flight softly growled.
"Maybe you all should talk about this... away from here."
Flame-In-The-Night purred in agreement.
"Tail-Hunter, I will talk to your dam now. She will be right back."
"Okay..."
"Dreamcatcher..."
Dreamcatcher glanced at Tail-Hunter and then reluctantly got up. She followed Flame-In-The-Night down the slope, her tail dragging behind her.
"We should go with them," Toothless whispered.
Hiccup agreed without needing to say anything, leaving Tail-Hunter with Sky-Dancer and Far-Flight for the moment. The cub was fine with their parents, but Dreamcatcher needed reassurance, help, or... something. Moonbeam followed him and Toothless the short distance down the slope.
"... being twisted. You could not know!" Flame-In-The-Night hissed.
Dreamcatcher weakly sighed, "If I had protested... more against the fight... if I had not let him fly... humans killed him too!"
"No! Humans did not kill him! False-empty shadow-life killed him! That shadow-life was fighting the humans! It would have fought us there or here!"
The Alpha paused and noticed him, Toothless, and Moonbeam. Flame-In-The-Night looked very weary and discouraged.
"Hiccup, Burning-Star, Moonbeam, maybe you can help us..."
Hiccup stepped forward while also keeping his distance from her. He had no idea what to say that she might accept. It was possible that her grief was too much right now, but she needed to hear some reassurance.
"I know this might be hard for you to believe, but I promised that I would help you both... however I can."
She looked away from him, slightly shaking.
"You... you cannot help... me. All you care for lived. You do not... understand, cannot feel, will not... or care! You think this is funny, yes? You are happy this happened! You... you wanted him dead!"
He slumped and stepped closer to her while Toothless stayed at his side.
"No, of course not. I cared for him as I do for the whole pack. I'm so sorry you don't see that. I want to help and..."
It happened so fast.
She spun, raised a paw, and swatted at him. A blur jumped and knocked into him, pushing him over onto his side and sending him tumbling several lengths down the slope until he crashed against a boulder. His stump burned with pain and his shoulder was surely bruised, but he doubted that was why the tears flowed freely. That she had just tried to attack him didn't matter.
What was the chaotic noise downing out everything else? It was difficult to tell over the shock of the moment.
Toothless's muzzle found him seconds or minutes later.
"Brother, are you well?"
"I'm fine. Didn't break anything. What just happened?"
Toothless helped him get up so he could see the terrible sight. Flame-In-The-Night, Far-Flight, and Moonbeam were holding Dreamcatcher down while Sky-Dancer was with Tail-Hunter, trying to keep her from seeing it all happening. She could not stop her from hearing her mother's frantic, incoherent shouting and bellowing as she struggled.
He and Toothless wordlessly agreed to go to Tail-Hunter, slipping around Sky-Dancer's extended wings. Tail-Hunter was staring at her paws while shaking.
"What is... wrong... with dam?"
Sky-Dancer licked her neck and nuzzled her.
"Little one, your dam's thinking is twisted by sadness and chill."
"I... want dam warm," Tail-Hunter whined.
"We all do," Hiccup whispered, kneeling at her side.
No one moved until Far-Flight eventually bounded over to them. Flame-In-The-Night and Moonbeam didn't move from Dreamcatcher's side. The shouting had stopped, leaving silence instead.
"Father, how is she?" Hiccup asked.
"She is asleep now. We forced her into sleep for her own good. We must stay here to watch her and keep her safe from the... anything worse than sleep."
That did not sound good at all, but he knew it was not a good time to ask any questions, not while Tail-Hunter was right there with them.
"How about you take Tail-Hunter and have some food. She must be hungry, right... little one?" Far-Flight forced a purr.
"A little... where is dam?" Tail-Hunter warbled.
"Sleeping. We will stay with her and help her be warm. You go with our kin to get food."
Moonbeam got to her paws and gently nudged Tail-Hunter.
"Come little one, we should hunt for food up at the golden-hall-den!"
"Okay..."
Hiccup and Toothless followed after her, though with a few glances back down the slope. More of their packmates were assembling around their parents, Flame-In-The-Night, and Dreamcatcher.
"That happened. Do you want to talk about it?" Toothless sighed.
Hiccup wiped his cheek dry.
"No. Not really. There's nothing to say."
Toothless huffed, "Yes, there is. She was wrong... what she said about you. You believe me, right?"
Hiccup stopped walking, finding it difficult to keep up with Moonbeam, given his peg.
"I... don't know," he mumbled.
"About what?"
"Did we do that to her... to them? Tail-Hunter would still have her father, and her mother would not be... so heartbroken if not for us."
Toothless sat down before beside him and very gently hit his head with a paw.
"I knew it. We did not mean for that to happen."
"But it did. We knew someone could get hurt. We are... a little responsible."
"No. Say that we did not bring the pack to the fight. Sauron wins the battle, uses his Night Furies, and finds the Ring. Then it would be our fault for not bringing the pack to the fighting. We all fought to defend ourselves."
"True, but still..."
"How we got here does not matter. All we have to decide is what we will do next. At least, that is what we must say and think."
Hiccup did not smile at that echo of Gandalf's words. He knew that Toothless's advice was fair and was probably the best that anyone could do in such a terrible situation. But none of that made it hurt any less.
He noticed that Moonbeam and Tail-Hunter had paused up ahead, so he started after them. One awkward step at a time.
"Do you need me to help you walk?" Toothless asked.
"Let me try this without any help. I've got to learn how to walk on my own."
Toothless huffed and rolled his eyes.
"Cub-brother..."
The Golden Hall was almost as Hiccup remembered it on the outside. The major difference on the inside was how it was much emptier with most of the people of Edoras and almost all the leadership away. Further, there were no guards standing around on duty, and there was no smoke rising from the chimney.
However, it was not completely empty. There were a couple people standing beside the main table near the head of the Hall.
Also, two of the cubs, Free-Flight and Storm-Chaser, were sitting on their haunches while staring up at the tapestries. They looked like they were lazing about after a meal. He was very pleased that they felt comfortable enough being left alone in the Hall, and that their parents were comfortable leaving them there alone.
"There you are!" he shouted.
Their ears lifted as the two cubs spun around and dashed for him.
"Hiccup, you are..." Free-Flight stopped in place, staring at his peg.
"Your leg-paw!" Storm-Chaser shouted as she ran up next to him and sniffed at the peg.
"What happened?" Free-Flight whined.
Hiccup lay a palm on their foreheads.
"I lost it in fighting. I will be fine though."
"Can you still walk?" Free-Flight warbled.
Storm-Chaser whipped Free-Flight with her tail.
"Silly! He walked to us!"
Hiccup noticed one of the elderly men walking toward him from the head of the Hall. He recognized the man as Eogar, one of Theoden's attendants who usually managed supplies in Edoras.
The cubs kept nudging his side, which made him wonder what to do about them. They didn't know what had just happened with Dreamcatcher and Tail-Hunter or how close that had come to grief. Toothless, Moonbeam, and Tail-Hunter were settling down near one of the burning fireplaces.
"Free-Flight, Storm-Chaser, how about you go to Burning-Star, Moonbeam, and Tail-Hunter. You could make a sleeping-pile with them or maybe play."
"Okay, we can play with them!" Free-Flight hummed.
"After a food-nap!" Storm-Chaser added.
They nodded in agreement and turned tail, bounding over to Toothless, Moonbeam, and Tail-Hunter. Satisfied that they were occupied, he went over to Eogar. The elderly man had a long white beard and a very wrinkled face.
"Master Haddock, are you well?" Eogar asked with a gesture to his leg.
"I'll be fine. Just have to learn how to walk again."
"Have you news from the war?"
"Yes, it is over, and we won. King Theoden will be away for a while, maybe a few months. Most of the Rohirrim should be coming back soon though."
Eogar stroked his white beard and nodded.
"Very good. We had feared after not having news for many days. Is Lady Eowyn well?"
"Well enough. She killed one of the Nazgul, one of the black riders."
Eogar's eyes went very wide.
"She rode to war also, in defiance of her King's wish. She gave secret orders that I would maintain the Halls in her stead. On that account I must speak to you about the dragons."
"What is going on? Is there a problem?"
Eogar nodded toward the table and bid him follow him over there, so he did. Eogar helped himself into a chair, and he did so as well.
"It started after almost everyone else rode off to war. We had to keep enough people here to watch and protect the flocks, but some of the herds were attacked by wolves or rogues. The dragons who stayed here were very helpful. However, even before we rode to war, we were wondering about how much food the dragons must eat. The pack is now even larger with the new families that are living here. I do not see how we can provision for all of them. Not unless they start eating grass or the common human foods."
So the problem was one he had already been told about: the practical limitations of available food.
Dragons definitely did not eat grass. As for human foods, such as breads, grains, fruits, and vegetables, he did not know if the Furies could eat those. It was unlikely that they would though. Creatures that lived primarily on fish, blubber, and meats probably couldn't live on grains or other diets.
Fortunately, there was an easy solution that was already being worked towards.
"You'll be glad to hear that the pack will be given an entire island to be theirs. Some of them might fly to live there. That should help a lot since their natural food is fish."
"When will you know if any of them will depart?" Eogar asked.
"Probably a week. That is when Snowfall should get back and be able to tell us about the place."
Eogar nodded.
"Very well. We can make do until then. They've been doing more fishing and hunting in the wild anyway. They might have needed to take a few wild horses too, which we were none too happy about."
Hiccup glanced toward the nearest table.
"Speaking of food. Do we have any I could help myself to?"
"I've got hardtack and porridge."
"Those are my favorites."
"And some soup. I learned Eowyn's secret recipe," Eogar added.
"I can't wait! Oh, do we have anything for one of the cubs? She should get something to eat while she's here with us."
Eogar nodded.
"We have some jerky I could have brought."
"That should work. Anything would be great right now."
Hiccup left the Golden Hall after eating a bland but filling breakfast and spending some time keeping the cubs busy. The soup had tasted a little off, but after many years of eating the gruel on Berk, he was not sure if he was the best judge of taste. At least the variety beat having nothing except dried fruit and flamed fish for every meal.
Okay, what's next on the list? Probably get supplies for a new prosthetic. Gotta visit Adney soon, definitely not putting that off for long.
He started in surprise when Flame-In-The-Night dashed up the slope toward him. Far down below he could see several packmates gathered together precisely where Dreamcatcher was probably asleep.
A sneaking suspicion whispered that this was bad news.
"Flame-In-The-Night?"
The Fury settled down before him and gazed with heavy grief in his blue eyes. He also looked very weary, even more so than he had been before.
"This is bad."
"What happened?" he warily whispered.
"She is awake again, but she is not well or herself."
"I don't understand."
"Nor do we. She does not know us anymore. Her thinking is very rotted."
He just stared in shock, unsure how that was even possible. Could grief make someone lose their mind, whatever that meant?
Maybe it could.
"What?" he gasped.
"Come see but stay behind me."
Flame-In-The-Night gestured down the slope, and he reluctantly followed him as fast as he could. He saw nothing except the figure of a prone Night Fury surrounded by her packmates who stepped aside for him.
Flame-In-The-Night walked in front of her, and he stopped beside the Fury's shoulder.
Dreamcatcher was mumbling indistinctly and didn't seem to see anything clearly.
"Lost... fault... gone flying... trust him... pack best... mine... lost lost..."
"Dreamcatcher..." Hiccup whispered.
She did not react at all to him. She just kept mumbling, staring at the ground before her paws.
He couldn't stand to see or hear any more of that. He stumbled over to the nearest boulder, sat down in the long grass, leaned back against the rock, stared up at the sky, and felt numb.
It was not the first time he had heard of such a terrible thing happening. The occasional Viking on Berk would go crazy or very strange after losing family in a raid or an accident.
There was so much blame that could be thrown around. He and Toothless had argued for the pack to involve itself, the Alphas had agreed with the plan, individuals in the pack volunteered to fight, and Mordor obviously had been the aggressors who had to be fought against.
That grief should follow now, after the war was over, and back at home in the place where everyone felt safe and secure was like a knife in the heart. Was no place safe anymore?
And Tail-Hunter... to lose both of her parents, though in different ways. What was going to happen with her?
He heard someone pad over to his side and saw that it was Flame-In-The-Night. The Alpha collapsed at his side without initially saying anything.
"I, uh, don't know what to say."
"There is nothing to say."
"What will happen with Tail-Hunter?" he whispered.
"We will wait until the rest of the pack is here. Then a pair will... adopt her as theirs."
"Any idea who will do that?"
"Not me and Snowfall. Free-Flight is almost her age, and raising them like brother and sister could be a problem much later. Probably not your sire and dam, or Burning-Star and Moonbeam, since those pairs might have new cubs of their own soon. Any other pair could raise her. She might want to be with one pair more than others."
Flame-In-The-Night gently nudged his shoulder.
"I will talk with her about why she cannot be Dreamcatcher's cub anymore. That is not a talk for you to have. It is not your responsibility."
Hiccup nodded, seeing the sense in that. Still, he had made a promise.
"Fine, but I will be there for her however I can help."
"I would expect nothing less from you."
"Can I and my family take care of her until the pack decides who will adopt her? I'm sure that Far-Flight, Sky-Dancer, Burning-Star, and Moonbeam would offer that."
Flame-In-The-Night thought about it and then purred in approval.
"Yes, she knows Moonbeam as a cub-watcher. I allow it."
"Is... can Dreamcatcher get better?"
Flame-In-The-Night stared at his paws.
"I do not know. She is well in body, but it is not... her. Is her soul-fire dead? Maybe yes, maybe no. Only time will let us know."
"Is there anything we can do for her?"
"Probably just see to her needs... food, water, a clean den, and packmates around her. One of the barn-dens might help if you could have one given to her. I do not know what else we can do."
He nodded, not knowing what else could be done in such a terrible situation. But her condition was a problem he had to consider from another perspective. A crazy dragon could be a danger to everyone at Edoras.
"Is she a danger to anyone... like me or other humans here?"
Flame-In-The-Night looked very wary of that question.
"Maybe, but I can help with that."
"What?"
"Do not speak of this to anyone else, but I and Snowfall can help her as Alphas. Being Alphas and having our power-light can help us keep peace in a way I cannot explain well. We can help her not become... violent to any of the humans. We will also make sure she is watched."
He wasn't sure what to make of that, but it was reassuring that they could help Dreamcatcher not become a serious problem to anyone else.
"Good. When will you tell Tail-Hunter?"
"Soon. She deserves to know. Is she in the Golden-Hall-den?"
"With Burning-Star, Moonbeam, Storm-Chaser, and Free-Flight, yes."
Flame-In-The-Night then sat down on his haunches and stared across the plain. His ears fell as he hung his head. He appeared understandably discouraged.
"My and Snowfall's time as Alphas has not been good. We lost many of the pack to the shadow-life who took them away, we lived long in the cold wild with not enough prey, we have now lost a pair, and Wing-Of-Ice is grounded. Maybe the pack would have been better without us as Alphas."
Hiccup stared out with him toward the horizon. It was surprising that the brave, confident Alpha suddenly sounded so frail and uncertain.
He understood that feeling of inadequacy.
"I doubt it. Would you... tell me the truth? Do you blame me at all for any of this?"
Flame-In-The-Night grumbled.
"No, not at all. Blaming others does not help hurts to heal, even if the blame is correct, which it is not here."
"How do you stay strong?"
"By holding close those who are kin. By telling yourself that you did the best you could with what you knew then. By learning from past mistakes and changing your behavior. Mostly... by helping others who were hurt more than you were."
Hiccup idly nodded and wiped another tear from his cheek.
"Yeah, I guess so. How can anyone do more than that?"
All the Furies, not including the new families, present in Edoras gathered together on the slope after Flame-In-The-Night summoned them. The cubs sat with their present parents or with those they knew the best.
Hiccup steadied himself against Sky-Dancer's shoulder as they watched the terrible news being delivered. Tail-Hunter sat motionless throughout, listening as Flame-In-The-Night told her that her mother was not well enough now to be her caregiver. He assured her that someone else, another pair, would take her under their wings if that was needed, and that the pack would be there for her.
Dreamcatcher lay nearby all throughout, glancing around and indistinctly mumbling. She did not appear aware of what was happening around her.
Not even when Tail-Hunter bounded to her and called for her while furiously nudging her shoulder. Dreamcatcher just stared without showing any sign of recognizing her own cub.
Flame-In-The-Night and Moonbeam had to drag Tail-Hunter, whining and trembling, away from Dreamcatcher. Hiccup immediately went to the distraught cub and knelt before her.
"Tail-Hunter, do you want a hug?" Hiccup whispered.
She wordlessly stepped toward him and lay her chin on his shoulder while softly whining. He held her neck and head and let her quietly mourn until she stilled.
"Did I... do something... bad?" she whined.
"No, no. Why do you think that?" he whispered.
"Because sire... went away... and dam is... so sad..." she gasped.
He held her again, holding her head to his chest. It did not matter that she was a dragon. All that mattered was that she was a hurt child who desperately needed reassurance that she was wanted and that others cared for her.
He knew so well how terrible it was to feel unwanted.
"No, you did nothing wrong. Your sire was so brave and strong, just... as he wants you to be. Be strong."
He gently held her muzzle.
"Tail-Hunter, look at me."
She did. Her eyes, a mix of deep blue and grey, were wide and filled with sorrow and tears.
"We will never turn tail on you. Do you want to stay with us for now?"
Far-Flight, Sky-Dancer, Toothless, and Moonbeam stepped closer and nuzzled her, purring with reassurance and comfort.
Tail-Hunter's ears lifted slightly as she barely purred.
"Okay..."
"Good. Thanks."
Other present packmates similarly nuzzled or licked her in comfort.
He glanced again at Dreamcatcher and saw that she was still staring aimlessly, listlessly, at nothing in particular. Then he looked away.
The scars from this day wouldn't fade immediately or, what was more likely, ever. But this was a start.
Hiccup was stuck, idly pacing back and forth in the Edoras square to kill time and distract himself from everything else that happened, when he noticed a Fury approaching him on paw.
It was Jumps-At-Fire.
"Hiccup!" she bounded toward him.
Surprisingly, she gave him a gentle headbutt and nuzzle before hopping back from him.
"Hey, Jumps-At-Fire, how are you?"
"Better than you. You lost a leg-paw."
She glanced at his peg.
He sighed in exasperation. While her concern for him was thoughtful, it was also getting frustrating that his wound was the first thing that people wanted to talk about.
"I'll be fine. Other people lost far more."
She winced and looked down the slope toward where those of the pack who were here were resting.
"I heard what happened with Dreamcatcher and that she... has problems now."
He nodded.
"She wasn't thinking well at all before, and she lost two people she loved. All we can do is try to help her, and be there for Tail-Hunter in her place."
"I agree. What is the pack doing for Dreamcatcher?"
"I said I would find a barn she could stay in... almost like how Lightning had one for a few months. Other than that, we will provide for her however we can."
He neglected to add that he didn't know of anything that could help improve her condition. Maybe time would do that.
"And Tail-Hunter?"
"A pair will adopt her, but she's staying with me and my family for now."
Jumps-At-Fire sighed and stared at her paws after glancing around. Her ears and tail twitched, which was a giveaway that she was nervous.
"What is it?"
"You and Burning-Star are family. You probably talk about much. Did he tell you about the past... me and him?"
He crossed his arms on his chest after checking that there was no one else who could overhear them.
"Yes, he told me about everything you were doing. Why do you ask?"
She looked up at him and met his even gaze.
"Because I have had much time to think about why I was with him. Burning-Star told me after we stopped... that I should trust the pack more or try to know a human as kin to me."
He didn't feel awkward talking to her. She was opening up to him, sharing something she must have thought was important.
"Did you? Did you make a friend?" he asked.
"Not a friend like you and Burning-Star are or Snowflame and Eowyn are, but there is one I feel some warmth for. She has a cub of her own, but she is still... free in her soul-fire. More important, I understand why I was using Burning-Star."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
He was sure that she did, since she would not have brought this up otherwise.
She took a breath.
"I wanted to pretend that my dead mate was still with me but not have any responsibility. I also blamed myself for... a very bad mistake I made long ago to... someone who did nothing wrong."
He wasn't entirely sure what she meant by that, but she had clearly given this a lot of thought, so it must make sense to her.
"Why are you telling me this?" he softly asked.
"Because I... do not truly want to live in the past. I want more."
He frowned, realizing something that she was implying.
"You do know that Burning-Star will not have you. He is with Moonbeam. They love each other."
She barked in alarm and shook her head.
"I was not saying I would try to break them apart. No, that would be wrong and twisted of me. I have been outside the pack much, and I understand what that feels like. How alone that is."
He wasn't sure what she meant by that, and she was not adding anything else. At least it was reassuring that she openly said that she had no hidden desire to break apart Toothless and Moonbeam. Despite her having many issues that he knew of, being an outright liar was not one of them.
"Well, that's good to hear that you won't try anything with them. I'm not sure if you know, but they've been trying to get a cub. Obviously they would want that since they are mates."
She blinked and hummed.
"I hope they do. They will be a good sire and... dam."
"Is being a dam something you truly want? Be honest."
She blinked and exhaled.
"I see no bad in it... not anymore. Yes, I want that, but I do not know if it can happen."
"What do you mean? You aren't hurt or anything, are you?"
Her ears fell.
"No, it is not that. I do not know if I can be wanted by any male in the pack after all the mistakes I made and the reputation I must have with them."
He felt sympathetic toward her problem. At the least he understood how frustrating having a bad reputation must be. Once others thought about someone in a given way, it was almost impossible to change that reputation.
"Well, if you try... the right way. Dark-Fire has no mate, and the new fledgling will be grown in a few years."
Hmm, wouldn't that be ironic if she and Dark-Fire got together... if he can change.
She hummed and stared out into the distance toward the mountains.
"Yes, I have been talking with Dark-Fire. He has problems with anger still, though I do not know what he is angry about. He does not want to talk much about anything very important."
Hiccup frowned, remembering the cruel things that Dark-Fire had said when in captivity.
"Yeah, I know why he is so angry."
She blinked in surprise and imploringly stared at him.
"Why?"
He wasn't sure whether to tell her. It was possible that she would try to use this information against Dark-Fire, or maybe she would not.
"His sire was killed by humans, and his dam might have been abused by another male, but I'm not sure about that part."
She looked away from him and stared at the mountains, as if she was shocked or had just realized something.
"That explains much, truly. Thank you, Hiccup."
"You are welcome, Jumps-At-Fire."
"I will be in the mountains if anyone needs to find me."
She then flew off, leaving him alone with his fraying nerves and questions about what she intended. She must have some type of interest in Dark-Fire.
But there was no putting this off forever. He had to talk to Adney, even if for no other reason than to assure her that he was alive and that her father was safe, so he started for her house.
Beyond giving her that good news, he had no idea what would happen.
Toothless flew out over the golden fields in search of the new families: Dances-In-Shadows, Sun-Spark, their two young, Dancing-Flame and Hidden-Star; and also Ashen-Whisper, Tempest-Cloud, and Cloud-Whisper. The lone fledgling, Bagronk, was bonding with Breath-Of-Sky and Mystery. He was willing to be in Edoras and around humans.
But these families stayed more on their own and did not look interested in being around the pack or humans. They had even asked for a packmate to bring them the food which Rohan was willing to provide.
He eventually saw the families resting together in a valley with a creek they had probably been drinking from. He flew toward them, announced himself with a roar, and touched down on the slope. Then he calmly strode up to them.
"Do you remember me? I am Burning-Star."
Dances-In-Shadows grunted once.
"Yes, we remember you as the dark wing with the human brother."
He purred, pleased that they knew that.
"True. Hiccup is my kin. My sire and dam have named him as their cub. Why are you all not with the pack?"
The two pairs of adults glanced at each other and then looked away from him.
"The pack is... living much with humans here. We do not know if we can trust the humans as the pack does," Dances-In-Shadows said.
Sun-Spark hesitantly spoke, as if she was unsure if she should speak at all.
"We flew to be with our kin. Not to be around the humans."
"Why do you think that these humans should not have our trust? They have only been good to us."
Dances-In-Shadows huffed and stared off toward Edoras.
"To you and the pack, yes, but not to us. We were flying for their enemy."
"Only because you did not know better. You stopped flying for their enemy because you wanted to be free. You can live in peace with us and them now."
Dances-In-Shadows stepped over to Sun-Spark's side and nuzzled her neck.
"We only want to be alone with our cubs."
Ashen-Whisper and Tempest-Cloud purred in agreement.
He thought about their situation. Forcing together those who did not want it would not help. It was enough for him that they wanted to be on their own and in peace.
"There might be a place that you could go where there are no humans. One of the human Alphas who won the fighting will give the pack an island to be ours only, no humans can go there. The place should have good fishing."
"We would like that," Sun-Spark hummed.
"When will we know if we can go there?" Ashen-Whisper eagerly asked.
"Snowfall is flying there now. She will see the island and let us know if it is good. We should know in a pawful of days."
He stepped back from them and stretched his wings.
"There will be more humans coming back to this range soon. None of them will mean to do you any bad, but you might stay closer to the pack once they get here. Or you can stay up in the mountains."
Dances-In-Shadows grunted in acknowledgment.
"We will do that."
Toothless then bent down and hummed with encouragement to Hidden-Star.
"Little one, we both have star in our names."
"Bright star!" she hummed.
"Yes, very bright. If only you got to see my precious," he chuckled.
Then he jumped for the sky and turned his flight back towards Edoras.
He did not fault them at all for wanting to be on their own. They had lived in Mordor and been something like thought-thralls, if he understood correctly. While he would prefer that they want to stay in peace with the humans here, that peaceful life could not be forced into being. Nothing was bad with wanting to be on their own.
His flight was calm and peaceful as he stretched his wings. It was relieving to fly freely again without any great urgency or need to fly anywhere.
But then he was surprised by someone else rising from the ground to fly toward him.
It was Jumps-At-Fire.
She calmly flew toward him and settled into a glide at his side.
"Can we talk?" she asked.
He was not sure what she would want to talk about. Hopefully she was not trying to make problems. He had already made his intentions very clear to her, even apart from the unchanging truth that he and Moonbeam were life-mates.
No, Jumps-At-Fire was not going to talk to him about that or their past. Somehow, he was sure that she was not going to try to tempt him. This had to be about something else.
"Yes," he answered and dove for the ground.
They touched down together on a grassy hill outside of Edoras. She pranced over and sat down a length from him, curling her tail around her front paws.
"How are you?" he asked.
"I am well enough. Life has been quiet here, even though we had to hunt more for food. I heard that you got hurt?"
He turned to show off the hurt on his neck. There were new scales growing in already, but he would always have a hurt-mark there.
"I will be fine. Others were hurt worse."
Oddly, she chuffed and rolled her eyes. Then she softly warbled, as if she was ashamed of something.
"Sorry, Hiccup said the same thing about his lost leg-paw. You and him are very much like each other."
"Yes, we are."
She paused and hesitated before continuing.
"I wanted to talk to you about life."
"What about it?"
"First, I will not come between you and Moonbeam. There is another dark wing now, Dark-Fire. He lives in the mountains."
He blinked in surprise at her apparent intention.
"Yes, he was a fighter for the Enemy before I stopped him. Dark-Fire killed humans in the fighting."
She stared off toward the mountains.
"But he is not so filled with fighting-wanting now. I have been talking with him. He is still angry, but much of that anger is at himself," she said.
He had to wonder about her true intentions there. He and she had started with talking also, even though that talking had only been for a small part of the day before they had eagerly rushed into doing far more.
"Talking only, or have you been doing more with him?"
"Only talking. He is still lost in his thinking, and I want to know him more... much more. He needs to not be alone in his life-flight. But he might not want to be my mate or have a cub with me."
He blinked, startled by that implied admission that she might want such a life for herself. This was a very big change from how she had been before.
For a moment, he wondered if she might have changed like this if he had not stopped being with her. If he had kept being with her, she might have come to want him as more than only something to use. But thinking about such possible flights that never happened had no lift at all and would not change anything now. His choice to leave her and stop being with her had been the best one under the circumstances, and he had no regrets about that.
"That is a very big change from how you thought before," he observed.
She hummed.
"Yes, it is. Playing and cub-watching for the pack, seeing the humans with their cubs, seeing all the mate-pairs in the pack and of the humans, and all that you told me... opened my eyes more to what I was not seeing. I want to think that Dark-Fire can cool his anger and be happy with a peaceful life of flying far with me. He is also outside the pack now, and I know how hard that life is."
While true, he still felt very little sympathy for Dark-Fire. It would take a lot for that Night Fury to get any trust from him.
"Do you know that he killed many humans and tried to kill me? One of his flight-mates tried to force-mate Moonbeam!" he snarled and scratched the dirt underpaw.
She gasped and recoiled slightly, visibly stunned as if he had hit her in the face with a paw.
"I... did not know that last part. He said that he fought against humans because the whispering told him to and because he wanted to kill to avenge someone."
He snarled.
"I killed its flight-mate when it was climbing on her and... trying to force her!"
"It did not though, true? You killed it first."
"I did."
She growled and nodded.
"Good. Moonbeam was never angry with me or bad to me, and I would not want her to be hurt. I want to give Dark-Fire a chance to change, but he might not want to. I do not know yet."
Then she stared back at him with a hesitant look in her eyes.
"There is something else I wanted to ask you about," she warily asked.
"Speak."
"If he does not want that with me... would you make a cub with me? Only if you and Moonbeam agree to it."
"What? Why?" he softly growled.
Her tail tapped on the ground, but she did nothing tempting or meant to twist his thinking.
"Because we dark wings are very few. For me to not make a cub when others are helping to grow the pack, I do not think that would be good of me. I would not ask about this if we dark wings were many and filled the ranges of this world."
He turned aside to stare out over the plain while thinking about the question. He had learned the importance of not leaping to conclusions, and she did not seem to be trying to tempt him. She did not display, nudge him, lick him, or do anything to show wanting. Rather, she openly told him what she was thinking and gave him a believable reason why she thought as she did.
True, raising a cub without a single sire-father was not ideal, but it was also true that the pack was smaller than it should be. Having a healthy adult female who never added a cub to the pack was almost a waste or a lost opportunity. The cub could be raised by a group, and this would be an exception only done in special circumstances.
On the other paw, would doing this once create an expectation that it should be done more in the future? Would the pack expect that all females not only can have a cub but instead must contribute a cub? Would the importance of mate-pairs fade away or be seen as greedy and hoarding by those who want a life-mate?
It was a difficult question to pin an answer to.
"I will tell Moonbeam that you asked me about this," he said.
She hummed.
"Please do. I do not want her to think that I am secretly breaking you two apart. It would be cub-making only, no bonding or sharing life-flights."
He grumbled and rolled his eyes.
"That is very twisted, with what we were doing before."
She chuffed, apparently appreciating the irony of the situation.
"Yes, this would not be a problem if I had made a mistake and you gave me a cub back then."
"And you would not have gotten rid of it?" he growled.
"There are none of those plants here. And you would know if we had made a cub. I would have told you," she whispered.
"Have you talked to any others about this plan?"
"I spoke with Flame-In-The-Night. He did not object to my making a cub for the pack, if I could find a male who would do that for me. He also said that he would not do it, and it would not become a pack-custom. I would want you to do that for me... if there is need and if you will do it."
He got to his paws and started pacing back and forth, lost to his thoughts. She patiently sat there, waiting to hear whatever he had to say on the offer.
His soul-fire would always fly with Moonbeam's. There was no need or pull to go to Jumps-At-Fire for anything.
Purely for the good of the pack and for their kind to be more in number was another matter that flew somewhere between right and wrong, good and bad. He could see himself maybe doing that, if Moonbeam did not object. Her approval would be absolutely needed, if this was to happen.
Then he went back to sit before Jumps-At-Fire.
"I will speak only truth, and I will trust that you will only speak truth. You do not need to make a cub to be part of the pack or have a place with us. Do you know that?"
"I do."
His tail tapped on the ground at his side.
"Why do you want to make a cub? Have you truly thought this through?"
She sighed.
"As I said, I want a cub because it would help the pack and because I... I want to be a dam. I want that good in my life. Best would be if I have a life-mate with me, but I am strong enough that I can live without one if I must."
She did not look like she was being false. And he knew her well enough that he could probably see her signs of deception or hiding, which there were none of right now.
"Are you sure that you would be a good dam? Being one needs much patience with the cub."
"I think I can be a good dam. My dam was not always cold; she only became a twisted dam after... you know. I would not be like other females in the pack, since I have much I still need to unlearn, but I do think I can be a good dam. Best would be if the sire is there with me, if possible."
He grumbled.
"I will talk with Moonbeam about it. But I do not like it. She saved my life and Hiccup's life in the fighting. To do this with another even after I promised my life to her... I would be false."
"That is why I ask if Moonbeam would let you do this for the pack and for me. I will not speak of this again unless Dark-Fire and I cannot be. Hopefully he can see me and want to be with me."
He paused, wondering what her motivation was with Dark-Fire.
"Are you being desperate for a mate now? He probably will not like you trying to change him by using him."
She growled softly and snorted.
"I will not do that. I will not use him for mating and pleasure. He is more like me than you were, and I... see my mistakes I was making with you. You talked to me and said things that no others in the pack did. I want to be there for him and help him feel wanted. We will fly together, hunt together, talk about life, and if we do more... I will only do that for good reasons."
He huffed after thinking about her words. It was possible that she still would not understand what counts as good reasons for that, but that was not for him to be concerned by.
"Your life is yours to live. I will not judge you, but I will say that you should be careful with this flight."
"I will be."
She purred to him and then jumped, flying over Edoras and toward the distant mountains where Dark-Fire probably was in hiding.
He slumped in place as he watched her fly. She definitely seemed to be acting differently now, mostly by being open and honest with her intentions, which also appeared to have changed in important ways. At the same time, there were similarities between who she is and who she was back when they were still together.
Her offer to let him make a cub with her was proof of that. But even that offered twisting of what mating should be for was not truly bad, or at least it did not seem that way to him. She said that she would not pursue that if he or Moonbeam objected. Moonbeam's previous direct threat to kill her if she tried to break them apart probably contributed to that.
But was giving Jumps-At-Fire a cub something he would be willing to do even if Moonbeam did not object?
He wasted no more time and flew in search of Moonbeam to tell her what had happened. Unsurprisingly, he found her resting on the pack's slope along with Storm-Chaser, Tail-Hunter, and Free-Flight, all of whom were resting under her wings.
He landed and pranced over to her, nuzzling her nose once he got to her.
"My dear mate, can we talk now?"
"Yes," she hummed.
"Away from the cubs," he added.
That got her interested, and she followed him a few pounces away so they could speak while still overseeing the cubs.
"What is twisting your tail?" she asked.
He sat down on his rear next to her, wove their tails together, and lay a wing over her.
"I want to tell you something. Please listen until I am finished talking."
She grunted once in acknowledgment.
"Jumps-At-Fire told me that she is trying to know Dark-Fire better. Do you know that one?"
"He is the fighter?"
"Yes, the one that lived. He might not be as rotted as we thought, but I do not know. She said that she wants a mate and a cub."
Moonbeam chuffed in amusement.
"That is a very big change for her. Do you believe her?"
"I do. I believe she truly wants a mate and cub. She said something else."
He clenched her tail.
"She said that if Dark-Fire does not want her and if you do not object, she wants me to give her a cub, to make one with her."
She blinked and silently stared at him, so he continued.
"I would only give her a cub, no bonding or sharing of life. I did not like the idea, but I said I would talk with you about it. I do not think that she is asking for this for... pleasure. She said that she wants to be a dam and that the pack should be made bigger, both of which are good on their own."
"What do you truly think? Would you do it?" she softly asked.
He hummed, laying his chin on her neck.
"If I had to do it for the pack and if you wanted me to do it, I might do it. But a cub not having its sire in its life is not good. I also worry that doing this once would mean that others might do it or think it should be normal. I would not want to make the pack have a twisted ceremony."
He sighed and closed his eyes.
"I am yours as you are mine, my dear Moonbeam. What do you say?"
She grumbled and faintly growled.
"Part of me wants to tear off her wings, bite off her tailfins, and shove her nose into a pile of hot waste! She does not understand how hard it is to be a dam, alone. I do almost."
She stared long into his eyes until her ears fell.
"I would not like to think about you and her doing that, but I could allow it... only for cub-making and for the pack. But it would hurt us, you and me, in a way that no words would ever change after."
He knew beyond doubt. Even if she were to allow it, his joining with Jumps-At-Fire would mean that promises between him and Moonbeam do not mean anything since either of them could turn tail on the promises already made.
Doing it, even for the good of the pack, would hurt his dear Moonbeam's soul-fire. Maybe it was a little greedy of her, but that was not bad of her. She had a right to be a little greedy of him.
The pack was not in so desperate a situation that he could justify to himself hurting her, even unintentionally, in that way. That was all he needed to know to make his decision.
He chuffed and leaned against her shoulder.
"True, it would hurt our pair-trust. Even if you would allow that joining, I will not do it."
She hummed and leaned against him, stroking his tail and saying nothing for a long time.
"I should sit with the cubs," she whispered.
"And I will sit with you."
They walked the short distance over to the sleeping cubs, and she lay down between them, covering them again with her wings. Then she lay her head on her paws. He rested before her so he could stare with warmth at her wings, curled tail, and wide eyes that gazed into his.
It had been over a month since they had been together as mates, but there was no desperation or deep neediness. This was not the time for that part of life. Now was the time for peace, healing, and settling down into normal life.