Watching Gideon's silhouette fade into the horizon shattered something in me. It almost felt like a breakup—unfinished, unresolved, heavy with words left unsaid. I wanted him to stay, but would that be fair to the others? Eriu's all-or-nothing mentality messed me up badly. I couldn't even tell which emotions were mine anymore and which belonged to her. It felt like standing in front of a buffet filled with everything I loved, unable to choose—so I tried to take everything at once and ended up choking on it.
I sank to the ground and cried.
This war inside my heart was harder than fighting the bats, the hyenas—harder even than facing Vera. Where do you draw the line when there is no line? I was drowning in infinite love, happiness, grief, longing—every emotion multiplied until it blurred together. I was terrified that one day I would feel nothing at all. The virtues etched into my body, my values, and my self-control were the only things anchoring me, keeping me from being completely consumed by Eriu.
I didn't even notice Aspen kneeling beside me until he awkwardly shifted, clearly unsure how to help.
"Hey, Shelley… is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" he asked softly. "I know it hurts when the people you love leave. If it helps at all, I promise I'll listen better from now on."
His words surprised me. They worked.
If there was any consolation in all this, it was knowing that my actions mattered. Juno's trees were thriving again. Mariner's Bay had learned restraint. Avion—well, Talon's perseverance and selflessness counted for something, too. These were the things I was supposed to focus on. These were my steps toward going home.
I smiled at Aspen and gently ruffled his hair. "Thank you, Your Highness. That actually helped."
He blushed and quickly looked away. "You don't have to thank me. I just don't want to see your pathetic, sad face around me!"
I laughed. "Alright, enough of that. Where were we? Oh—right. Maybe we should clean up the burned areas. You never actually said thank you for saving your kingdom."
"I did!" he protested. "Just… differently!"
Our days settled into this rhythm—light teasing, small lessons, quiet growth. And slowly, I saw Aspen change. Gratitude came naturally to him now. He thought before acting. He helped without being asked. Watching him grow into a thoughtful leader told me everything I needed to know. The word Gratitude etched and added in the back of my hand.
My time in Velaris was over.
I said my goodbyes to Varkas and the elks. As I left, Aspen waved enthusiastically and shouted, "When I grow up, I'm going to make you my queen!"
I shook my head, laughing. I wasn't queen material. I was just Sienna—an ordinary librarian lost in a strange world, trying to convince a goddess to let her go home.
On my way back to my refuge, I noticed more birds circling overhead. Maybe Talon had something to do with it. Either way, having eyes in the sky wasn't a bad idea. I stopped by Pele to pay my respects to Barok one last time, warned them about the hyenas, and urged them to support the elks. I reminded them that Barok was watching over them still.
I also visited the foxes. I suggested they relocate to Pele for safety and told them I had already spoken on their behalf. Hanna and Huntz thanked me repeatedly. As I turned to leave, Nori came running after me.
"Shelley! Please—can I come with you?" she asked breathlessly. "My parents gave their blessing. They said if it's you, it's okay. I promise I won't be a burden. I just want to stay with you."
I hesitated. I didn't want to put anyone else in danger. I wanted to carry my burdens alone. But Nori believed in me—and I had told her to find her own path. If this was what she wanted, who was I to stop her?
"Alright," I said firmly. "But if you misbehave, I'll send you straight back to your parents. And I will punish you. Understood?"
She nodded eagerly. "I promise. I'll learn. I'll follow. Nothing else."
We walked together through the forest until my refuge came into view. Nori gasped, eyes wide, as she took it all in—the brook, the waterfall, the fields of flowers.
"You found this place all by yourself?" she asked in awe. "And made it yours?"
"Well… sort of," I said, smiling. "Remember what I told you? You don't need anyone else to go where you want in life."
She spotted a shady oak near the brook and rushed toward it. "Can I stay here?" she asked, dropping down happily beneath its branches.
I nodded. Maybe having company was better than being alone with my thoughts.
I checked on the ginza next. It was growing beautifully. I sat beside it and talked quietly—about Nori, about Pele, Velaris, and the kings. About seeing them again.
Then my mind went still.
What now?
Where should I go next? The savanna? The desert? Another forest I hadn't seen yet? Traveling that far on foot would take time. Manifesting would be faster—but now I had Nori to consider. I needed to plan carefully.
Then it hit me.
I had promised the kings I would visit.
Why not start there?
It made sense. It honored my word. And if I disappeared again afterward, no one could say I vanished without warning.
My gaze settled on a name.
Bolivé.
The only kingdom I hadn't seen.
And I was certain Aron would be happy—knowing he was the first one I chose.