A 'squib' would be the opposite of a muggleborn, it means a non-magic person born into a magical family. At the top of the pole you would have 'purebloods', those are people who are born in a magical family and have at least two sets of magical grandparents. I, on the other hand, am a half-blood. My father and his family were magical but my mother was a muggleborn, we could have lived happily ever after if not for the war."
"I know I am probably not going to like the answer but 'the war'?"
"A large amount of purebloods had it into their heads that they needed to either kill or enslave the non-purebloods and then rule the world in their own image. Which was obviously evil and wrong and stupid when you consider problems such as population and jobs but never mind that. Anyway, there was this half-blood, a powerful one, he had everyone convinced that he was a pureblood and would lead the purebloods into a new world where they were on top."
"Kind of like Hitler then?"
"Uglier." Harry nodded. "My parents were in school during the first war, they had me and they died right at the end of the war, I was sent to my non-magical relatives who hated me for my magic, it was an 'enjoyable' experience. I rejoined the magical world when I was eleven, I thought it was an escape from my problems, I look back now and I realize that it was just the start. I suffered a lot, I killed the first time that year." Harry said, his grey eyes locked on her green ones. "A dark wizard was trying to kill me, I burnt him to ashes. it was self defense and nobody apart from a few knew about it so I didn't have any legal problems with that. But as time went by everything went worse. The leader of the 'dark side', came back when I was fourteen, the government spent an entire year denying his return and slandering me when I tried to tell everyone he was back. When they finally were willing to admit he was back he had already had a full year head start on the idiots. Eventually war started, a lot of lives were lost."
"You lost friend and family." She said, her words were not phrased as question.
"I lost a lot," Harry said, his voice never leaving the calm and bland tone he had taken. "there's only so much a person can take before snapping, I snapped eventually. Nobody on my side of the war was doing anything extremely helpful, when I was fifteen I took it on myself to go and get the job done."
"You went after them alone?! At fifteen?!" She blurted out.
"At nights I would go after a target and sneak back in, great thing about wand based magic is everyone has a fighting chance since we all had the same weapon. The first time I caught a target I let him go, I didn't kill him, I just dropped him off to the aurors with evidence of his crime."
"Aurors?"
"Sort of 'magical policemen' if you will." Harry replied. "Anyway a few days later he was back out after some bribes and a couple of days later he takes part in a raid on a muggle orphanage, burnt it to the ground. It was one of many reasons but eventually I realized that in a war, people needed to die. I killed more on their side while they killed more on my side, during a time when it was a full on war I was brought to trial for all those I killed. It didn't help my case that a great many people at the trial, including the judge, were pureblood sympathizers.
I escaped and ended up with a two front war, eventually the war spilled out of just the wizarding world and the muggles got involved. The longer it lasted the more people got involved and the more people dead. As for me, when I wasn't killing someone I was planning and training. I trained with the British army, I learnt whatever magic I could learn. I killed a lot of them, it was easy for me, too easy. I've been called a lot of things, one of the things that stuck out, that I always remember, is 'army killer' and I was earning that title. I have literally lost count of how many men and women I killed.
I survived that war, I lived on for a few more years. I died when I was a 121 years old. Then I was reborn on this world, new body but still every bit as broken, I still have nightmares from that time you know. I still hear the voices of those people that died, friends and enemy's, saying things they've said before or saying whatever my mind can think up ."
"Why are you telling me all this?" Natasha asked, her voice soft and quiet.
"Because you scare me." Harry replied, surprising her once more. "You scare me more than giant robots and wars, because I like you. I like our talks and I like our time together. You are hope, it's what you give me, and I can't have anymore of that, I don't want that, I don't want to lose someone again. You can do better than me Nat, and me… well I don't want to care for another person just to have them die in my arms."
"That won't happen," Natasha said, she tried to reach her hand across the table and touch his but he pulled his hand out of her reach. "Harry, I…"
"Are you immortal?" Harry cut her off. "Can you die?" Harry paused, waiting for her answer. "Yeah, that's what I thought." Harry said when she didn't answer, "If you don't mind, I am going to go home now," he stood up and left some money on the table. "food's on me." Harry said before he walked off, not looking back for a moment.
.....
"Ickle, wickle, lonely little Potter. All alone, don't worry, Aunty Bellatrix will play with you. Come on Harry, let's play, let's play!" The voice screeched in his ear and Harry's eyes snapped open, it took a few steady breaths but he was eventually able to calm down enough to remember where he was. Harry sat up, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before he sat up and began stretching. A quick stop to the bathroom followed before Harry was in the kitchen, preparing breakfast.
He had sat down and began eating breakfast after he placed some food down for Padfoot, Padfoot slowly ate at the food, nowhere near his usual speed.
"Woof?" Padfoot barked softly.
"I don't know Padfoot." Harry sighed, Natasha had not come to visit for a week and Padfoot didn't seem to like that. It had been a couple of weeks since the last time Harry and Natasha had talked, she hadn't tried to contact him since and he didn't try to contact her either. Padfoot let out a whine, clearly not happy with his answer. "Go fucking find her then if you are so worried." Harry said before he could stop himself, perhaps slightly more harsh and snappish than he intended. Padfoot gave him a small glare before he stood up and left the room.
....
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