Sensei sits across from us at Ellie's kitchen table like some kind of judgment day has finally arrived.
It's been a few days since I came home from the Baxter Building. Hiding in this apartment while the world keeps spinning outside. I haven't set foot on campus. Haven't checked my phone for class emails. Haven't done anything except exist in this bubble Ellie's created for me.
She's practically merged with me at this point, her arms wrapped around my torso from behind, her chin resting on my shoulder. The symbiote pulses beneath her skin where it touches mine, a constant reminder that I'm not alone. That I'm protected.
I straighten up slightly and bow my head toward Masters. "Sensei, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."
She sighs, and I catch the ghost of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. It's the kind of expression that's equal parts amusement and exhaustion.
"Shane," she says, her voice carrying that clipped military precision I've come to associate with her, "you've been through it the past year, haven't you?"
The understatement of the century hits me like a physical blow. I let out a shaky breath.
"Yes..."
Her brown eyes study me with unsettling intensity, like she's cataloging every micro-expression, every tell. "How are you feeling after..." She trails off, letting the unspoken words hang between us.
"Last time I felt depressed with the whole Norma thing," I say slowly, trying to articulate something I'm still processing myself. "I think this time I just feel angry."
Masters nods once, sharp and understanding. Her gaze shifts to Ellie behind me.
"Has Parker tried to contact him?"
"Yeah. She came by, but I shooed her away." There's a pause, and when she continues, her voice carries a note of surprise. "She had a broken arm. Black eye. She'll heal fast, but I was surprised."
A groan escapes me before I can stop it.
"I broke Spider-Woman? Fuck," I breathe out, shame washing over me in waves. "I should apologize, shouldn't I?"
"She came here to apologize to you," Ellie says, her arms tightening around me. "But I wasn't about to let her anywhere near you after what that psycho did wearing her body."
Masters waves a dismissive hand. "Let the spider figure her own shit out for a while," she says bluntly. "She'll survive a broken arm. You need space from her."
"Yeah," I agree, feeling some of the tension drain from my shoulders. The guilt's still there, gnawing at me a little, but she's probably right.
I sigh, looking down at my hands on the table. "Sensei, think you can help me with school again?"
Her expression shifts, something calculated sliding behind those analytical eyes. "That's part of the reason I'm here."
She reaches into the tactical bag beside her chair and pulls out a crisp white piece of paper, sliding it across the table toward me. The header catches my eye immediately: EMPIRE STATE UNIVERSITY WITHDRAWAL FORM.
My stomach drops. "What's this?"
Ellie leans forward, her voice sharp with confusion. "What the fuck? I thought you said you'd help?"
Masters holds up one hand, her expression calm but serious. "Hold on... let's take a moment and think, okay?" She shifts her focus to me, those analytical brown eyes boring into mine. "Shane, what is it you see yourself doing after college?"
"Uhhhhh..." My mind blanks for a second, caught off guard by the directness of the question. I glance down at the withdrawal form, then back up at her. "Well, being a superhero for sure."
"Still?" Ellie's voice cuts in from behind me, tinged with disbelief. "After Norma, you were iffy I wasn't sure how you'd be after…"
I turn slightly in my seat, reaching back to touch her arm. "Ellie, I have super strength now." The words come out more firmly than I expected. "Sure, I keep getting knocked down, and I feel a lot of different emotions right now, but..." I pause, trying to articulate something that's been crystallizing in my mind over these past few days. "I feel like it's my duty to be a hero now more than ever."
Ellie's hands fly to her face, and I hear her take a deep, shuddering breath. "Alright, alright, I know..." Her voice is muffled through her fingers. "I know this is good for him, I get it..."
She's clearly talking to the symbiote, having one of those internal conversations they have. The black substance ripples across her visible skin, responding to whatever argument they're having in there.
She looks almost nervous when she drops her hands. "Alright, fine, yeah."
Masters' gaze still fixed on me. "And you're currently a graphic design major, right?"
"Yeah..." I say slowly, not sure where she's going with this.
"Can you even draw?"
The bluntness of the question makes me wince. "No, not really."
Masters taps the withdrawal form with one finger. "I'll cover your life, alright? For a while, until you find your way, okay?" Her voice carries that same matter-of-fact tone she uses when discussing combat techniques. "So just let go of school. It's pointless for you."
"Doesn't that feel like bad advice?" Ellie interjects. "Telling someone to just drop out?"
Masters shakes her head. "If you're worried he's not making enough friends, I think he'll be fine. The spider likes him. You like him. He even won me over for Christ's sake." She pauses, and something shifts in her expression, like the words are costing her something to say. "For me, you two are practically the closest thing I have to family…"
The confession hangs in the air between us, raw and vulnerable in a way I've never heard from her before. I feel my throat tighten with unexpected emotion.
Ellie goes completely still behind me. When I glance back, her eyes are wide, glistening slightly. She blinks rapidly, and I realize with shock that she's fighting back tears.
Ellie clears her throat suddenly, the sound rough and forced. "Yeah, well," she says, her voice deliberately casual, "that's... good to know."
She's trying so hard to play it off, but I can hear the emotion she's desperately trying to swallow back down. The symbiote pulses more rapidly against my skin, responding to feelings she won't let herself fully express.
Masters shifts in her seat, her shoulders tensing slightly. "Anyway. Point is, you've got people. You don't need college to validate your existence."
"Sensei," I say, my voice steady despite the emotion welling up in my chest. "You've helped me so much. I'll always be loyal to you," I continue, the communication coming far easier to me than to these two. "You know that, right? I see you as family too."
"Yeah, well," she mutters, not quite meeting my eyes anymore. "Let's not get all sappy."
Ellie shifts behind me, and when she speaks, her voice is thick. "We're lucky to have you, Masters."
Masters closes her eyes, annoyance flashing across her features for just a moment before they open again. "Yes, alright, we all agree we're all lucky," she says, her tone clipped. "God, I feel like I'm a boy with his little boyfriends."
I crack a smile. "Sensei, only cowards are emotionless."
Her eyebrow arches slightly. "Yeah, that's true."
I look down at the withdrawal form again, really letting it sink in. "So I get to drop out..." A sudden realization hits me, and genuine excitement floods through my chest. "Wait, this fucks! That means I don't have to do that stupid soufflé course anymore!"
No more pretending to care about design principles I'll never use. No more forcing myself to sit through lectures while my mind's elsewhere.
"This will give me all the time in the world now to go be a hero during the day," I say, the possibilities already spinning through my mind.
"No."
The single word from Ellie cuts through my excitement like a blade. I twist in my seat to look at her, confusion written all over my face.
"What do you mean, no?"
Her blue eyes are hard, determined. The symbiote ripples across her shoulders, echoing her resolve. "I mean no going out without me for a little while."
"I gotta practice though!" I protest, gesturing vaguely toward the window and the city beyond. "I need to figure out this new strength, learn how to control it better..."
"I don't care how strong you are," Ellie interrupts. "You're not going out there alone."
I open my mouth to argue, then close it again. The truth is, I expected this. I'd feel the same way if our positions were reversed.
"Yeah, that's fine," I say, settling back against her. The fight drains out of me as quickly as it came.
Masters watches our exchange with that analytical gaze, her fingers drumming once against the table before she stands. "Good. That's settled then. Shane, get that form filled out and sent in by the end of the week. I'll handle the financial side of things."
I bow again. "Thank you, Sensei."