"For the first ten seconds, I couldn't even blink. I just stared at him, frozen. Meanwhile, he watched me like he was completely calm and confident. When the signal to start was given, he didn't hesitate for a second—he drove his fist into my face. That punch was the only thing that snapped me back. But instead of hitting back, I kept backing away, trying to understand what was happening. He didn't explain. He just kept provoking me. After training me for so long, he knew exactly which buttons to press—and eventually, he succeeded."
I paused briefly.
"From that moment on, everything unraveled fast. My physical condition was already terrible compared to his, thanks to days of fighting, and it didn't even take him a few minutes to put me down. But he was the one still standing—so he had to keep fighting. The other matches were supposed to be one-on-one too, just like ours… but for reasons I couldn't understand, after me, two men stepped up against him at the same time. I'd seen those guys before, and I knew they normally didn't fight. So something was wrong. But by the time I realized it, Tolga was already on the ground."
"When the two of them didn't stop hitting him even after he fell, I understood. They weren't there to fight. They were there for something much worse. I tried everything to get to him, but they blocked me too. And right when I thought it was over—that they were really going to kill him—the police raided the place. They rushed Tolga to the hospital, but he was in such horrific condition that the doctors weren't even sure he'd survive."
I took a deep breath, rubbed my eyes, cleared my throat, and forced myself through the final part.
"While we were waiting at the hospital, I learned the truth from Rüzgar. After Tolga left me that day, unable to convince me, he made a deal with the guy running the fight organization—for me. If Tolga won every match that night, they'd let him leave with me without any trouble. Of course, men like that never honor deals unless it benefits them. So instead of giving up the millions I was making them, they chose to get rid of Tolga. Tolga must've anticipated something like that, because he'd asked Demir to tell his father. But because of another unexpected complication, the police arrived later than they should've."
"A few days later, the doctors said Tolga was improving and could wake up at any moment. But that wasn't the only news for me. The men had used so much violence trying to neutralize him that they'd damaged his spinal cord. So for the rest of his life, he had to be in a wheelchair. In other words, Tolga paid a price to pull me out of that swamp. And for five years, he's been stuck in that damn wheelchair."
In a hoarse voice, she murmured, "Can?"
Understanding what she meant, I sighed.
"Tolga's last name is Karakurt, Duru. Can is his brother."
She sucked in a sharp breath and pulled her hand away from mine. With the heavy weight settling on my chest, I couldn't say anything else. After a few minutes of silence, I finally couldn't take it anymore and swung my legs off the bed to leave the room—only to freeze when her arms wrapped around my neck from behind.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you remember all of that again. I really wish I could say something that would make you feel better, but honestly… I have no idea what to say."
I sighed and held her arms.
"You don't have to say anything, Sunshine. Just being here with me is enough."
"And what about—" She didn't finish the sentence. She pulled back. "Wait a second! Was the reason you didn't want to tell me because you thought I'd judge you for what you did?" When I stayed silent, she stood up, murmuring to herself,
"Oh my God… Did you really think I'd blame you for what happened and leave you?"
She came in front of me and dropped to her knees, placing one hand on my leg as she looked up at me carefully.
"First, let's make one thing clear. It's obvious you blame yourself for what happened to Tolga, and even though I don't agree with you, I understand why you feel that way. I could give you a long, meaningful speech to prove you're wrong, but I know it wouldn't work—because until you forgive yourself, no one can do that for you."
She paused, rising slightly on her knees to be at my level, and took my hands in hers.
"But the other part…" Her expression shifted from gentle to firm.
"Listen to me, Hotshot. You can't let anyone—including me—judge you for things you did years ago. Especially if they didn't live your life. Because even if we claim otherwise, none of us can guarantee we would've done better if we were in your place. Making the wrong choices at that age—especially in that state of mind—is understandable."
Her understanding gaze hardened into determination.
"Most importantly, you're not that boy anymore, Kerem. If you were, you'd still be in the wrong places with the wrong people. But you're here. That means you chose the right path eventually. And if the person in front of you can't understand that, and chooses to blame you and walk away instead of supporting you, believe me—that's their loss, not yours. Want to know why?"
She lifted a hand to my cheek. The tenderness returned as she brushed her fingers over the cut, then looked straight into my eyes.
"Because it means they don't realize what a special man you are now, and how lucky they are to have a place in your life."
I placed my hand over hers and swallowed hard.
"If there's anyone lucky in this room, it's me, Sunshine. I can't believe I was about to throw that luck away with my own hands."
I lifted her hand, kissed her palm, and pressed my forehead to hers.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you, but don't doubt for a second that I'll do everything I can not to lose you."
When my words made her smile, I smiled too.
"Do you want to sleep with me tonight?"
Her smile spread across her entire face.
"I thought you'd never ask."
Laughing, I pulled back and took her hand, lifting her up with me. As she got into bed, I turned off the light and lay down beside her. When I lifted my arm, she rested her head on my chest and started yawning immediately.
"By the way… can we change the bed you bought me?"
"Why? Is it not comfortable?"
"No, the opposite. It's the most comfortable bed I've ever slept on. But the comments Mete makes about its size every chance he gets are driving me insane."
I laughed, pushed her hair back, and replied,
"I'll try to deal with it as soon as I can."
"Good night, Hotshot."
As her eyes drifted shut, I kissed the side of her forehead.
"Good night, Sunshine."