4
And thus the night grows late at the
Hikigaya household.
The cold wind of midwinter blasted against the windows, loudly
rattling the glass in the living room. I pushed myself up from where I
was sprawled in the kotatsu to get a look outside. The night had
gotten quite late, and all that lay among the pitch-black were the
scattered lights of streetlamps.
Our parents had told us they had some issues to deal with at work
coming up to the end of the fiscal year, so they would be coming
home at late o'clock. It was just me and Komachi in the house. I
hadn't had the time to talk face-to-face with her lately, either. There
wasn't much time left until the day of her tests. That night, as usual,
she was cooped up in her room, doubtlessly studying hard for her
entrance exams.
The cold wind was whooshing again. Though the heat was on low in
the living room where I was, the cold air radiated from the window.
Oh, I wonder if Komachi feels cold…, I thought, looking over to the
wall adjoining her room, but I couldn't hear any sounds from over
there. It was late. She'd be asleep ar Page | 180
Guess I'll go to bed soon, too, I thought, but unable to resist the
comfort of the kotatsu, I collapsed again and rolled over. I must have
kicked the cat in the process, as there was some restless stirring, and
then the family cat, Kamakura, crawled out. He shot me a grumpy
look.
Oh, s-sorry…, I silently apologized.
Kamakura snorted, then started grooming himself with his tongue.
Once he was done, his ears stuck straight up, and his face turned to
the door.
Then there was a rattle as the door slid open, and Komachi, wearing
my hand-me-down tracksuit, lumbered in.
"What's up. You're still awake?" I asked.
"I nodded off at a weird time, and now I'm super-awake…," she said,
looking at me with her big round eyes.
Ahhh, I know that feeling. That thing where you come home and
collapse on the sofa or in the kotatsu, and then you pass out, and
then you can't sleep at night.
Sometimes those naps will be effective, but the time of year is what
it is. The period before an exam will inevitably destroy your lifestyle
rhythm.
"Even if you're not sleepy, go to bed," I told her. "Or you'll have a
bad time tomorrow."
"Yeah. Komachi's hungry, so once I've eaten something." Komachi
rotated her shoulders, then headed off into the kitchen.
Once there, she let out a tiny cry of distress. What could it be? I
wondered, and when I wiggled out of the kotatsu to take a peek, she
was gazing at the fridge vacantly.
…Ahhh, crap. That reminds me—Mom asked me to go shopping just
a while ago. She'd called me on the phone so randomly, I'd Page | 181
wondered what the heck was going on. And then I'd been so busy
with the production of the free magazine, I'd completely forgotten
about shopping. And I'd just thrown together whatever for
myself…so I got the feeling we didn't have much left in the way of
ingredients. Komachi was moaning as she gazed at the empty fridge.
I'm sorry, Big Bro forgot to go shopping… Oh no, at this rate,
Komachi will starve because of me!
"…I've got no choice. I'll make something for you," I said, tapping
Komachi's shoulder.
But she turned around and shook her head. "Huh…? It's fine."
"Hey, no need to be polite."
"No, it really is fine. I mean, like, seriously don't, please. Komachi
doesn't want to get sick," she rattled off quickly as she waved her
hands aggressively.
She didn't even have the decency to play it off as a joke… But when I
do cook, she does basically eat it. What a kind girl she is! But she
should be careful how she talks!
"I'm kind of hungry, too. I'm cooking anyway. So it won't be out of
my way, really." Prodding at her back, I went to stand at the kitchen
counter.
Komachi nodded reluctantly. "Well, if you insist…," she said, but she
seemed uneasy about what I would do, restlessly following me
around as I fished through the cupboards and fridge, almost
monitoring me.
I found eggs, milk and chikuwa in the fridge, then dug up some
instant ramen and canned corned beef from the shelf. This'd be
enough. Page | 182
When I lined these ingredients up in a proud array on the counter,
Komachi popped her face out from behind me. "If I eat something
like that at this hour, Komachi'll get fat…"
"It's all right, it's all right! Any Komachi is cute."
"Eugh. You should think before you speak…"
While Komachi was busy grumbling, I filled a pot with water and set
it on the stove. The trick here is to make the amount of water about
70 percent of what it normally would be. I started frying up the
corned beef and the chikuwa.
Komachi came up to my side, closely examining each of these
ingredients. "…Wait, Bro, you've been eating stuff besides this,
right?"
"When Mom cooks, I eat normal food. Though I forgot to shop today,
so, well, this is more or less what I made."
"There's no vegetables…"
"Dude cooking doesn't come with nutrition. The cow eats
vegetables. It's fine."
"The cow probably eats nothing but grains… You're hopeless…"
Komachi trailed off, and then she opened up a shelf, stretching as
hard as she could to reach to the back. "We do have some seaweed.
And then we could rehydrate this wakame… Guess I'll open a can of
corn, too."
"Ohhh, that's pretty fancy…" I watched Komachi, impressed, as she
briskly arranged some toppings, before I reached out to the carton of
milk.
When Komachi noticed that, she grabbed my hand in a claw. Her
expression was weirdly serious. "Bro, what are you doing with the
milk? I don't know what you're thinking, but it's scaring me, so stop." Page | 183
"You don't? This makes it pseudo-tonkotsu-style," I said, tipping the
milk into the pot.
Instantly, Komachi shrieked. "I told you to stoppp!"
"What? Like, this is what makes it good."
Ignoring Komachi's sniffling, I finished off the meal without a hitch. I
dropped in the eggs, let it boil for a bit, then split the ramen into
bowls. I dumped the fried corned beef and chikuwa in. Then you top
it with the seaweed and corn…and voilà!
Komachi was just standing there motionless with her brow knitted,
so I pushed her along toward the kotatsu. Proudly setting down the
two bowls before us, I handed her chopsticks and a ceramic spoon.
"There."
Komachi timidly brought her chopsticks to her mouth. And then the
tension in her cheeks softened. "…Oh. It's surprisingly good," she
murmured, and after that, blowing on the noodles and soup to cool
it, she slurped it up. Relieved by her surprisingly positive reaction, I
started eating, too.
Since neither of us could take it too hot, we didn't eat that fast. As
we leisurely and slowly enjoyed our meal, Komachi muttered as if
she'd suddenly remembered, "Your cooking is just as bad as always…
It brings me back." She was looking down at her bowl, a gentle smile
on her lips.
Way back, when Komachi was in elementary school, on occasional
days like this when our parents were late coming home, the two of
us had cooked and eaten together. I'd only been able to do dude
cooking like this back then, too, but despite that, Komachi had never
complained… Wait, she had complained. A lot… But nevertheless,
she'd eaten it. The memory was very nostalgic, and also
embarrassing. Page | 184
"Rude. It's way better than last time. I mean, there's been a lot of
progress in instant ramen."
"True. And you haven't made any!" Komachi fired back, then
snickered before she continued, "But you know, you should learn to
make something a bit more legitimate."
"Well, that is an important skill for a househusband, huh?"
"Well, yeah, but I don't think that's ever gonna happen. I mean in
university or when you get a job, you'll eventually leave home, right?
Then you have to cook for yourself!"
"Uh, I don't plan to ever leave home…"
Komachi shot me a cold glare. "Get out."
"O-okay…" Do you hate me? I thought, examining her expression.
But she cleared her throat, sneaking her gaze away, and then with a
blush on her cheeks, glancing up at me, she said in the most
endearing tone, "Well, if you just can't cook no matter what, then
Komachi wouldn't mind veeery occasionally putting on the wife hat
and going to cook for you… Oh, that was worth a lot of points, in
Komachi terms!"
"The assumption that you're kicking me out of the house scores low,
though…"
Our conversation about meaningless things continued until our
ramen dinner was finished.
"Thanks for the meal," Komachi said with a polite bow of her head,
before letting out a sigh of satisfaction and plopping straight down
on her side.
"Yeah, you're welcome. All right, then get back to your room and go
to bed already," I said to her, since it seemed like she'd fall asleep
right there in the kotatsu. Page | 185
Komachi responded with vague groan but then gasped as if
something had just occurred to her, jerking up into a sitting position.
"I wanna eat something sweet!"
"There isn't anything." I couldn't offer her anything besides my
sweet face, my sweet words, and my sweetly naive ideas.
Of course that wasn't enough for her, and Komachi hopped to her
feet. "Then how about we go to the convenience store?"
"A girl shouldn't be going out alone at this hour."
"It's fine if I'm not alone, right?" She slid her hand toward mine.
…Well, I guess I'll be a proper big brother for once.
The stars were beautiful that night. The wind was blowing hard, and
the air was clear. The moon, stars, streetlamps, and the lines of lights
from houses illuminated the nighttime streets.
Nobody was out and about but us, and Komachi's voice rang out into
the quiet. "Yeeeks, it's freezing! Brr! It's so coooold!"
"Yeah, it really is cold…"
As the both of us were shivering at the sudden drop in temperature,
Komachi smacked into my back. Then her hand slid around to take
my arm. "…Yeah. It's warm like this, and it's also worth a lot of
Komachi points," she declared, looking up at my face.
It was hard to walk and embarrassing like this, and I was getting sick
of her attempts at point scoring, so I reached out to her head to peel
her off.
But then Komachi murmured, "There's not much time until
exams…and once that's over, it's graduation… Then a new school,
huh?" Her expression contained none of her earlier glee. She was just
gazing with melancholy at the streetlights that dotted the dark night.
Seeing the anxiety in her eyes, I stopped my efforts to peel her off.
"Komachi."
She looked up. "Hmm? What, Bro?"
I dropped my hand on her head, then scrubbed it around. "I'll be
waiting at high school."
"…Uh-huh." Maybe it was just the weight of my hand, but Komachi's
face turned down. But there was strength in her soft voice.
The city at night was so quiet it was scary. We couldn't be sure of the
ground at our feet, and the wind was cuttingly cold. I couldn't know
when this long winter night would turn to dawn, but the time was
clearly moving onward. Though the sky above was dark, the spring
constellations would come to twinkle there again.
The seasons change, as do the connections between people in
endless flux. Would someone new come to that clubroom, too?
Maybe so, maybe not. And then in less than a year, I would leave it.
If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind? Eventually, I will also have
my final look at this night sky, too.
So then, for the moment, with the warmth at my side…
…I will look up at the starry sky and walk.