We don't talk anymore, we don't sleep together anymore, I don't feel your hugs anymore, there are no more caresses, there are no more chats until dawn, there are no more dinners with wine, your aroma is not invading my nose, your face is not there when I wake up, there are no laughter until our stomach hurts, your honey-colored eyes are no longer looking at me with that brightness. Simply, you're no longer...
I still can't get used to the fact that you're not here, I don't get used to seeing you and not being able to hug you.
It's as if I had you a few centimeters away from me but there is an invisible wall that won't let me through, I hit it with all my strength, I scream your name but you don't listen to me, you're on the other side laughing, talking, it's as if my absence won't affect you at all.
I don't know if you pretend or what but you're more smiling, you talk more, you're nicer and good with people who at the time got between us. I say pretending because it gives me the feeling that that happiness you show is not real, but a shield of the world so that they do not see how you really feel. That you feel lonely, sad, anxious, that sometimes you cry alone in your room, that you feel fear many times, that's why I don't believe your current "happiness".
I talk about all this because it's costing me horrors to let you go, it's hard for me not to feel you anymore and especially to hug you... your arms were a place where my mind felt at peace, a refuge to which I could go when the world got ugly or heavy. They gave me that warmth and protection that I hadn't had for years and sorry if I became addicted to that part of you but it was the only thing from the heart that you gave me...
At that moment we were only one, there was no outside noise, there were no doubts, there were no fears, the one they will say, the one if I or you really loved me, we were only one at that moment