Eating too many snacks had its price. Ian could only stand on the sidelines, watching his classmates devour hot dogs slathered with ketchup and mustard. Mark Hughes, the quietest of them all, made a point of waving his hotdog under Ian's nose. Twice.
"Smells good," Ian said wistfully, sniffing the air and rubbing his stomach.
Anthony informed him he still had sandwiches from the Hogwarts kitchens in his bag. If Ian got hungry later, he could choose between salmon or chicken. Ian glanced miserably at Cedric's hotdog—perfectly topped, bun slightly crispy, juices glistening at the bite mark—and nodded.
People streamed past them. It was prime lunch hour. Whether emerging from the walking enclosures or just arriving at the zoo, every visitor seemed to be carrying some form of fast food or street snack. The ground was slick, the tiled steps smeared with muddy footprints, the white-painted benches still damp.
They walked and ate as they went. The students had no interest in feeding the parrots ("Like feeding owls," Roger said, rubbing his ear, "and so much louder."), but they gathered for a long time around a slumbering, grumpy-looking creature perched on a branch.
"It's weird," Angelina murmured, tilting her head. "What is it? From some angles, its face looks like a dog's. From others, not at all. And those ears. Round and pointy."
"Looks like a bear," Ian declared. "Look at its nose! Its paws!"
"Do bears have tails?" Roger asked cautiously, pointing to the thick, black, furry coil wrapped around the tree trunk behind the creature. "That's a tail, right?"
Annie also tilted her head. "Probably. Is it a monkey?"
"Professor?" Cedric turned. "Professor Anthony? What is it?"
"A binturong," Anthony said, reading from the sign beside them. "Long, shaggy fur, tufted ears, a long, bushy tail. Usually black, with some white hairs." He looked up, comparing the description to the dozing animal, and nodded. "That's it."
Angelina glanced at the sign and cried, "That's cheating, Professor Anthony!"
"Merlin, we're standing here guessing like a bunch of illiterates," Roger said, crowding beside him. He squinted at the sign. "A member of the Viver… Viverridae family, a cat-like omnivore…"
"What's the 'Viverridae family'?" Annie questioned.
"What's an 'omnivore'?" Cedric asked.
"Viverridae," Anthony explained. "I hope I'm pronouncing that right. It's a system people use to classify living things, but we don't typically use it in daily life. Outside of specialists, you'll basically never hear anyone use these terms, except for 'feline' and 'canine'."
"I know feline," Angelina said. "Feline means cat-like animals. Lions, tigers, cheetahs."
"And cats themselves," Anthony added with a nod and a smile. "An omnivore means they aren't vegetarians, but they also eat things like fruits and vegetables. In contrast, you have herbivores—animals that really like plants, like the zebras we just saw, or horses, which we're all familiar with—"
Ian whispered something to Cedric, who snorted and tried to suppress a laugh. When Roger leaned in curiously, Cedric whispered to him as well, making him grin.
"—and carnivores," Anthony finished, noticing their expressions. "Animals that really like meat, like the tigers and lions from earlier. What is it?"
Roger motioned for Anthony to lean closer. "Beauxbatons' horses are whiskeyvores, Professor," he said in a very low voice.
"What?" Anthony asked, confused, then realized his student had just coined a new term.
"It's true, Professor Anthony," Ian confirmed. "I have a pen pal there." He also leaned in, whispering, "Those horses only drink single malt. Students sometimes sneak into the stables to steal it."
Anthony whispered back, "Considering single malt whiskey is technically vegan, I maintain those horses are still herbivores."
"What about salamanders?" Annie joined the huddle, curious. "What kind of 'vore' are they?"
"If you must categorize them… pyrovores, I suppose," Anthony said. "The fire they live in needs wood to burn."
Six teenagers and one adult huddled in a circle, whispering intently, dressed in a strange mix of clothes, next to a snoring binturong. It was an odd sight. Angelina was the first to notice the sidelong glances from passing visitors.
At her warning, they quickly moved to the next enclosure, pretending to admire the trees and a box in the corner. Anthony pointed to a sign, explaining that bears used to live here but had been relocated.
After the binturong, the creature that surprised them most was the anteater. At first, the students stared at the long-snouted, bushy-tailed beast, unable to even locate its head.
"Blimey, what is that?" Ian gaped at the shaggy anteater. "That's an animal?"
"An anteater," Anthony said. "As the name implies, it eats ants."
"I don't like the name. Tough life for ants, eh?" Ian said, unable to look away. "If I were an ant, I'd die of fright the second this thing showed up."
Roger read the sign. "They use their claws to tear open insect nests, then capture prey with their long, sticky tongues…"
"That's worse," Ian muttered. "Makes it sound even more like a Death Eater."
…
Emerging from the reptile house, everyone was exhausted. Anthony bought each of them a stick of candyfloss and got Ian a portion of chips.
The wooden tables and chairs in the grassy area were still wet. The wind whistled, shaking the trees overhead. Wet leaves pattered down onto their table with loud plops. Anthony pulled out some spare rain cloaks for them to sit on, but before he could warn them, several students had already leaned back against the wet chair backs, dampening their clothes.
It was nearly impossible to eat candyfloss without getting sticky. The students buried their faces in the fluffy, colourful clouds, getting sugar on their chins, noses, and in their hair, laughing at each other's mess. Annie, with her long hair, tilted her head back, making a complete mess of it. Angelina watched for a moment, then tossed her twin braids over her shoulders, rummaged in her bag, and loaned Annie a hair tie.
Ian had finished his candyfloss but had somehow convinced Roger to try dipping chips in it. They were working together, trying to stick chips into the blue cloud of candyfloss. Anthony had bought himself a corn dog and sat at another table, watching them.
"Face me, foul dragon!" Ian shouted, pointing his empty candyfloss stick at Anthony.
Anthony took a bite of his corn dog. "What do you seek from me, brave warrior?"
Ian pondered. From across the way, Angelina called out, "A passing grade!"
Ian winced, shifting his stick to point at her. "Face me, foul dragon!"
"Ha, bring it on!" Angelina said spiritedly. She finished her candyfloss in a few bites, stood up, and assumed a formal duelling stance—only to be yanked back down by Annie.
"That's for a sword, not a… stick," Annie whispered.
"But look how he's holding it!" Angelina protested. "It's clearly meant to be a—you know what it is."
"Objectively, it's a candyfloss stick," Roger said fairly. He took a bite of his own floss. "Ugh, Ian, do you really think this is good?"
…
"The manor owner also opened his hedge maze. Would you like to see it?" Anthony asked the group of students glued to their chairs.
"What's a hedge maze?" Roger asked.
"I'm not entirely sure," Anthony admitted. "Presumably, hedges are planted in a planned pattern to form walls, creating a maze for visitors to get lost in." He smiled at their expressions. "Very appealing, isn't it?"
"Why would Muggles make something like that?" Roger asked, bewildered. "Aren't we here for the zoo? I thought they'd at least put animals at the dead ends."
"Put lions," Angelina suggested. "Chasing the visitors—no, the challengers—and only reaching the exit counts as victory. Wouldn't that be more fun?"
Cedric pointed out, "That sounds like something we'd do. Though we'd be more creative. Maybe make the hedges move to change the paths."
"Then it loses the point of solving a maze," Annie said. "What's the use of a maze that keeps changing? A poor sod couldn't even find the exit by trial and error."
"Exactly," Mark said suddenly. "That sounds like us. Making completely unreasonable rules, then everyone has to play by them? Brilliant! Think of Quidditch—"
His classmates stared at him. Among them were a Ravenclaw Chaser, a Gryffindor Chaser, and a Hufflepuff Seeker.
"Never mind," Mark muttered and went back to intently eating his candyfloss.
…
Since no one was interested in touring a nobleman's big house, they went back for another look at the animals.
Somehow, someone had smuggled a dog in. A majestic German Shepherd was barking furiously at some unseen creature, while its owner argued with a zoo employee. The students watched, thoroughly entertained, as if it were a demonstration on Muggle confrontations, while Roger tried to offer his candyfloss studded with chips to a tortoise slowly making its way over.
Leaving the zoo, with time to spare, Anthony drove them around aimlessly.
The sun began to set. The harvested wheat fields stretched out, vast and empty. The slanting light gilded the stubble and the earth, but the shaded sides of the low hills already held the evening's chill.
At Angelina's request, they drove further along the country road until the fields were far behind them. After a while, the sun dipped near the horizon, glaring so brightly that Anthony decided to turn back.
"Can we go there, Professor?" Ian asked as the car turned, pointing to a distant hill. "Looks like there's something there."
Anthony squinted. "Something?"
Cedric leaned between the seats, peering. "There is something… Looks like buildings. Probably a village."
"Seatbelt, Mr. Diggory," Anthony drawled. Cedric gave an embarrassed smile and quickly settled back.
"Can we go see the village, Professor?" Ian pressed. "We see city Muggles when we go to Diagon Alley, but I've never really seen village Muggles."
"If I were you, I wouldn't want to go there," Roger said darkly, looking out the window at the surrounding landscape. "I think I know what that is."
"What is it?"
"Malfoy Manor," Roger said. "I've been here once… to find the grandfather who disowned us."
"Oh, right!" Annie said. "Merlin, let's go. I don't want that horrible Malfoy Manor ruining our field trip."
"The Malfoys put their manor next to a Muggle community?" Angelina asked, amused. "That makes them more Muggle-friendly than Hogwarts."
"It's not really next to Muggles," Ian mused. "It's next to hills, wheat fields belonging to Merlin-knows-who ("Malfoy," Annie supplied), lions, tigers, monkeys… and then another manor. I guess they just didn't expect a neighbour to suddenly turn their estate into a zoo and open it to the public."
Roger suddenly snorted.
"What?" Annie asked.
"I was thinking about the zoo owner," Roger said. "Long, long ago, a Wiltshire nobleman wanted to take a walk. So he walked, and walked, and walked…"
Anthony chuckled. Cedric picked up the thread. "Walked right to the foot of a hill. 'What's that up there?' he thought. 'Ah, never mind. I just remembered I have things to do.'"
"And then, as if by magic, he remembered a circus master was coming to visit him that very moment," Annie added.
"I must buy those lions!" Ian boomed in a terrible impersonation. "I absolutely cannot miss out on those lions!"
"And then he sat in his drawing room, face-to-face with the lions," Angelina continued eagerly. "'Put them in the part of the estate farthest from me,' he ordered. 'Then let everyone else come see the lions. Sell tickets. Recoup the cost.'"
"And if any visitors passed by that hill," Mark chimed in, "they'd remember there was a zoo nearby and run over immediately."
Anthony concluded, "And the manor owner lived happily, joyfully, and wealthily ever after."
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