Kiana's story fit her drawn keyword perfectly, but bearing in mind Elysia's earlier hint, the group only awarded her a score of 3.
"Damn it, damn it! Just you wait, this young lady is going to beat you all up later!"
Reluctantly, the girl raised her cup and downed the flowing, milky-white viscous liquid—the Beast Milk Wine—in one gulp.
With a sweep of her tongue, she licked the residue from her lips. She became dizzy on the spot, her body swaying as her little head slumped onto Fuli's shoulder, giggling foolishly.
"Ah Li~ Hic~ Hug me~"
"Shoo! Occupancy is full here!"
Cat-Kallen swatted Kiana's reaching hand away with her tail.
Next up was Bronya.
The keyword she drew was [Reversal]. So, with a poker face, she told the following story:
"I am a cat. A very smart cat who understands human nature."
"I always believed this, until one day, a group of people in uniforms kicked open the door to my house."
"They untied the collar from my neck and asked me: 'Miss, are you okay?'"
Whoosh—
A cold wind blew across the beach. Let alone Theresa and the others, even the dizzy Kiana was frozen sober.
"Excellent story. It has caused a relapse of my Oripathy, the Storm, ELID, Abstraction, the Harrowing, Cyberpsychosis, Homesickness, Urban Plague, Distortion, Slow Shock, Mania, Honkai Sickness, Beyonder loss of control, Hypothermia, Haphephobia, Mara-Struck, the Corpse Cycle, and Pneumoconiosis."
"Fail! Fail!"
"Drink the milk! Drink the milk!"
"Tsk!"
Bronya glared at this group of people abusing their power for personal vendettas, picked up the milk bottle, and took a small sip.
"Ugh!"
Two bright, alluring blushes stained her cheeks. Her intoxicated look was heavy-lidded and seductive, and her tongue began to tie in knots as she spoke.
Crucially, her passively activated Slavic bloodline made her words and actions uninhibited.
"Rai... Raiden Mei!"
Bronya swayed and roared, "Don't... don't say Bronya always causes you trouble. Here's your birth... birthday present! Hic!"
As she spoke, she forcefully shoved a USB drive into Mei's hand, then sat plunk into Fuli's lap, hugging the milk bottle while vivid, drunk bubbles seemed to float up from her head.
Kallen, who had been squeezed aside by the sneak attack, was furious. "Good grief! I was so busy guarding against Kiana I forgot about you!"
Elysia swung her legs, watching the scene with a beaming smile.
When people lose control, they subconsciously seek out the person they rely on most in their hearts. Even if she constantly bickered with Fuli, in Bronya's heart, there was absolutely nowhere in the world safer than her brother's embrace.
"Thank you."
Mei accepted the birthday gift with a slight nod, then asked, "May I open it and take a look?"
"Go right ahead!"
Bronya waved her small hand. "Inside are covers of Ren'ai Circulation sung by every girlfriend my brother has ever dated. You will definitely like it!"
Fuli, currently eating a melon: !!!
"Hehe."
With a smile that didn't reach her eyes, Mei pressed the play button without a word.
The projected screen displayed a beautiful green-haired girl—Sengoku Nadeko from Bakemonogatari, the original singer of Ren'ai Circulation.
She opened her mouth to sing: "—"
Three minutes quietly passed.
After the playback ended, Theresa was full of doubts. "Strange, why didn't that song have a single lyric? Was there a problem with the recording?"
"LMAO. Why else?"
Himeko, who instantly understood, rolled on the ground laughing. "This just proves that our cute and handsome Baby Li hasn't formally dated a single girlfriend from birth until now!"
"Damn you!"
Gritting his teeth, Fuli reached out and tickled his sister's armpits mercilessly.
Keeping his promise to that Kiana, how could he agree to anyone else's request to date? If it weren't for a certain Baal-spawn, his virginity would still be perfectly intact!
"Bro! Bro, I was wrong!"
Bronya, her soft spots under attack, let out hysterical laughter. She tried to escape, only to find her hands grabbed from both sides by Kallen and Kiana.
"This is our combination technique, boiling with grandmother-granddaughter hot blood!"
"The Kaslana super-strength was born for this moment!"
"Hahahahaha!"
The girl, laughing so hard she couldn't catch her breath, had no strength left to retort.
"Hehe."
Mei covered her lips and laughed charmingly, casting a look of teasing and delight at her crush, who was currently taking his anger out on his little sister.
The girl meticulously put away the USB drive and said solemnly, "Bronya Zaychik, I like your birthday present very much!"
Fuli's First Blood—she, Raiden Mei, was determined to take it!
Even Durandal couldn't stop her, she said so!
"Speaking of birthday gifts, this Academy Principal has also prepared something."
Theresa waved the bitter melon skewer in her hand. "Though it's not a tangible object."
Her gift was the mission interface between the Hyperion and Schicksal's Far East Branch.
Simply put, from now on, Fuli and the others could use the Far East Branch's guarantee to accept various missions issued by Schicksal. In return, they could exchange points at relatively low prices for precious treasures, combat techniques, and scientific technologies in the Schicksal Mall—items that had no market price and only circulated within the organization.
Theresa viciously bit into the bitter melon, complaining with her mouth full, "You guys better be grateful to me. To convince those old stubborn fools in the High Council, this Academy Principal burned through a considerable number of brain cells!"
"I can attest to this."
Himeko raised her hand. "She even made a special trip back to HQ for it. During that time, all of St. Freya's work was dumped on me to handle—yes, the kind without overtime pay!"
By the end of her sentence, she was practically gnashing her teeth.
"Such a quota is very precious!"
Elysia raised her index finger. "In the future, if Little Li and everyone cause trouble, Little Theresa will also face censure from Headquarters."
Kiana ran over to whisper to Kallen, "Why does it sound like the Hyperion is practically becoming subordinate to Auntie?"
Kallen calmly replied, "I could hear the beads on that little midget's abacus clicking all the way from my main body on the Hyperion."
Theresa had never hidden her ambition to annex the Nagazora Four, and she dreamed of adding a Captain who commanded the Hyperion to St. Freya's roster.
"Thank you for the gift, Academy Principal."
Mei accepted it calmly.
If Kiana could realize something was off, she could certainly detect Theresa's little scheme. She had long sensed that the Hyperion was getting too close to the Far East Branch.
But it didn't matter. As long as they balanced it out with another equal power, their independence as an organization could be maintained.
For example, the Anti-Entropy Conservatives—specifically, a certain Raiden Ryoma who wished to remain anonymous.
Looking at it this way, the current Hyperion could truly be described as "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon."
Thinking about it carefully, even the Schicksal Council of Elders only dared to move against this makeshift team—established less than two months ago—with a unanimous vote. They were clearly wary of the intricate web of relationships behind these girls.
"Super rich second-generation kids on a field trip"—this description really wasn't wrong.
"Alright, alright, time for the next person to tell a story!"
The Faerie smiled beautifully. "Whose turn is it?"
Fuli, who was currently fighting Bronya for the milk bottle to stop the little alcoholic from refilling her cup, raised his hand. "Here."
"Uh-huh!"
Elysia leaned in holding the box. The boy drew a slip casually.
[True Wild History?]
He instinctively looked at Kiana, the Fictionologist.
"Hmm? Mmhmm mmhmm!"
The girl pointed at herself, then shook her head like a rattle drum.
She had already drawn the one she wrote.
"Fine."
Having successfully reclaimed the milk bottle, Fuli handed it to Himeko, who had leaned in eagerly. After thinking for a moment, he straightened the Cat-Kallen bouncing on his head.
"I'll tell a story about the Three Kingdoms."
He cleared his throat. "Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei were starving and couldn't take it anymore. So Zhuge Liang gave them an idea: the three brothers should go to the fields to steal corn."
"The three brothers did as told, but they were caught by the farmers."
"Guan Yu and Zhang Fei ran fast, leaving only Uncle Liu (Liu Bei) to get caught."
"Helpless, Prime Minister Cao Cao had to borrow money from Sun Quan to bail him out from the police station."
Hearing this, Kiana giggled and gave a thumbs-up. "That history... is wild enough!"
She admitted defeat!
"But this really happened, you know!"
Elysia, who also grew up in Shenzhou, clearly knew this meme.
Regrettably, bound by the earlier consensus, the old, middle, and young generations once again collectively gave the story a low score.
Three rounds of wine, five flavors of food.
Watching the stock of Ancient Beast Milk Wine dwindle, the group finally started to get drunk.
The first person to black out was Fuli. He let out a "Wah" and burst into tears.
Tossing the cumbersome Bronya aside, he hugged Kallen and began to wail, "Second Sister, I still can't forget him! The moment the suona blows, I feel like the one leaving is him!"
"Ouch!"
Kiana, who was dancing wildly by the bonfire, stumbled after being hit by a sudden flying steel bunny. She grabbed the sleepy Bronya and tried to stuff her up her skirt.
"Smelly Ah Li, what are you doing! Can't you see this young lady is performing a dance for Mei? Hey, what is this thing? Why won't it fit?"
Obviously, it wouldn't fit. Not even a genuine 4D Pocket skirt would fit, let alone the fact that she was wearing a swimsuit.
"Bullshit! You call that a dance? You're just training your disobedient limbs!"
Fuli, who was wailing just a second ago, turned his head to curse, leaving Kallen—who had just wanted to comfort him—caught between laughter and tears.
"Put those things aside for now."
Suddenly, both their wrists were grabbed by the same person.
Miss Mei's eyes were burning with intensity. "Let's become sworn siblings!"
Kiana looked ecstatic. "Okay, Big Brother! No problem, Big Brother! I've wanted to become sworn siblings with Big Brother for a long time!"
"Is 'Big Brother' appropriate?"
Fuli slammed the table in anger.
"Oh, I get it. Big Daddy!"
"That's more like it!"
The boy nodded in satisfaction. He turned around and hugged a nearby trash can, speaking to it with deep affection: "Kiana, this guy, has a glitch in her brain. It happens occasionally, every now and then. My brother, please don't take it to heart. From today on, you and I are sworn brothers. You be the son, I'll be the father. We shall ascend Mount Liang together, rebel against the Qing to restore the Tang! We'll turn Hangzhou into Bianzhou! We dare to call Huang Chao not a true man!"
"Cyka Blyat!"
Bronya, having finally escaped from under Kiana's skirt, immediately spewed profanity.
She kicked the innocent trash can flying, then turned back to advise earnestly, "How can Big Brother listen to that black-stockinged woman's few words and abandon Little Sister? Can love at first sight compare to the two hundred days and nights we spent sleeping in each other's arms?"
At this moment, Kiana pulled a statue of Guan Yu and an incense burner out from under her skirt.
She snapped her fingers. The statue floated in mid-air without wind, and lit incense inserted itself into the burner, smoke curling upward.
The four exchanged glances, raising wine cups mixed with each other's blood (metaphorically... or literally, given the chaos).
Mei: "Second Brother! Third Sister! Fourth Sister!"
Fuli: "Third Sister! Fifth Sister! Sixth Sister!"
Kiana: "Second Sister! Third Sister! Fourth Sister!"
Bronya: "Dad!"
This bow, spring breeze meets the old friend, peach blossoms smile upon the altar;
This bow, ambitions to serve the country generous, heroic talents displayed to establish merit;
This bow, loyal hearts and righteous gall, sharing hardships, swearing never to part;
This bow, life and death unchanged, heaven, earth, sun, and moon strengthen my sentiments!
The four looked at each other again and drained the beast milk in their cups!
"Refreshing!" x4.
Simultaneously smashing their cups: "Hahahahaha!"
Kallen: These people are insane!
She hurriedly ran over to Himeko, trying to get these theoretically mature and reliable adults to help clean up the wreckage caused by the four siblings.
"Himeko, Himeko! Hurry!"
"Do not make noise."
Glancing sideways at the bouncing Cat-Kallen, Himeko raised her wine glass high amidst the cheering on the other side.
In this moment, as if possessed by something, she loudly sang a magnificent yet lonely aria:
"I am the bone of my wine!"
"Blood flows like Maotai, and heart is brittle as glass!"
"I have overcome countless drinking sessions undefeated."
"Never once retreating."
"Nor once finding a drinking buddy."
"I stand alone atop a hill of empty kegs, intoxicated by lonely victory."
"However, what remains is only void."
"This life has no meaning."
"This body is definitely... made of infinite booze!"
Finished singing, the wine glass in her hand and the empty beast milk bottle crashed to the ground along with her body.
The Demon King of the Alcohol World, Murata Himeko, calls GG!
Kallen: ???
Kallen: No, wait, sister?
You're an adult! In front of so many juniors, you should at least act a little reliable!
"Fufu, this Himeko is just weak!"
Elysia, who had approached at some point, squatted down. Her slender index finger poked the magnificent peaks that were fully exposed after Himeko passed out.
Boing, boing. Nice texture.
"So, Little Elysia, you're very brave?"
Theresa, hugging the bitter melon juice, said meaningfully. The Oath of Judah (bracelet form) on her wrist was restless.
She had also drunk quite a bit just now; her state was clearly not normal either.
"I'm not that great~"
Elysia furrowed her brows in distress, but then her eyes lit up as she glanced aside. "But Little Li is amazing! Our Little Li can do anything! Our Little Li dares to bang a cactus!"
"That's right!"
Normally, Fuli would absolutely be pulling the little aunt's ear right now, denying he could do such a thing.
But now?
"I dare to POI the Herrscher of Finality!"
Arrogance! Extreme arrogance!
"Oh! Ho? You said that?"
Theresa spat out a rainbow, standing up to confront him tit-for-tat. "To dare make such a bold claim, surely you, brat, possess a considerable 'tool of the crime'?"
The cute baby face revealed a trace of a smile, the Academy Principal eager to try. "That tool you use for crimes... if you have the guts, show everyone! Let us broaden our horizons!"
"Look then!"
The current Fuli wasn't about to spoil her. He immediately leaped up, jumping to the top of the highest tent.
"All eyes on me!"
He shouted loudly, drawing everyone's gaze to himself.
"Today, I'll let you all see the Cinnabar Mark I've treasured for years!"
Riiip! With a tearing sound, the seal was lifted.
Everyone seemed to hear a children's song playing in their ears:
Elephant, Elephant, why is your nose so long?
"Wow!!!"
The girls' blushes outshone everything else.
Everyone observed the veins and patterns on the "Cinnabar Mark" with rapt attention. The bold ones even leaned in to touch it, afraid of missing a single detail.
But it wasn't over yet!
Theresa let out a strange cackle, her petite body actually levitating into the air.
"The scale is not bad, but in this world, strength reigns supreme!"
"In front of this S-rank Valkyrie Academy Principal, you brat are just trash!"
Hovering in mid-air, she opened her arms like a suffering Jesus Christ. Relying on the Kaslana family's monstrous strength, she slammed directly into Fuli, knocking him to the ground.
"Fun!"
"Auntie is so cunning! This young lady wants to play too!"
Like opening Pandora's Box, everyone—already in a drunken stupor—ignored everything else and rushed forward one after another, arms open, starting a game of dogpile.
This immediately enraged Fuli, who was crushed at the very bottom.
He roared:
"Partial Expansion Jutsu! Activate!"
"Multiplier! Five times!"
The Honkai energy in his body rapidly gathered at the expansion site. With a BOOM, everyone piled on top of him was sent flying directly by the Compliant Golden Cudgel* that was approaching Theresa's height in length!
[T/N: The "Compliant Golden Cudgel" (Ruyi Jingu Bang) is the Monkey King Sun Wukong's magical staff that can grow or shrink at will. you know>>]
Seeing the scene turn into scattered chaos with wails everywhere, Fuli put his hands on his hips and laughed maniacally.
"I! I!"
Kallen looked at the heaven-defying scene of "Moonlight Streaking," then looked at the drunkards around her, who were getting up in anger, eyes splitting with rage, ready for Round Two.
"I don't care anymore!"
The fluffy little paws covered her eyes, perfectly embodying: If I can't see it, it doesn't bother me.
...