Herobrine's void-white pupils contracted—irisless, yet unmistakably *focusing*—as Eli's sticky fingers clutched the miniaturized Netherite sword. The blade's enchantments pulsed in time with the toddler's heartbeat, casting violet fractals across his jam-smeared cheeks.
Roz's arthritic grip tightened around Eli's waist. "*Give... give that back,*" she wheezed, her bun now tangled with oak saplings that sprouted fresh acorns with each panicked breath. One acorn plopped onto Herobrine's shoulder, dissolving into pixels before hitting the ground.
Salvatore limped closer, his wounded thigh leaking blocky blood droplets. "*Bambino,* that's *pericoloso*—" He reached for the sword; Eli swung it with the unpredictable ferocity of a two-year-old. The blade *shinked* through Salvatore's wristwatch, splitting it into two perfect halves that hovered momentarily before vanishing.
"*Mannaggia!*" Salvatore clutched his wrist. The cut wasn't bleeding—just *absent*, like a chunk erased from reality.
Tony's repulsors whined as he hovered inches above the cracked pavement. "*Friday, analyze that sword's molecular—*"
"*Already tried, boss,*" the AI responded through his earpiece. "*Readings suggest it's composed of cubic atoms arranged in a non-Euclidean lattice.*"
Peter's web-shooters twitched. "*Uh. Translation?*"
"*It's fucking Minecraft logic,*" Tony snapped.
Eli giggled, kicking his sandals against Roz's ribs. "*Sword go* whoosh!*" The blade left trailing purple particles in the humid air, each sparkle humming with the exact pitch of a Note Block tuned to F-sharp.
From the alleyway, Marcus Greene staggered forward, his burning philosophy textbooks forgotten. His NYU hoodie sleeve brushed against a transforming fire hydrant—now half-polished copper, half-Minecraft iron block. "*This violates Hume's principle of—of* causality!*" His voice cracked. "*Digital objects can't* interact *with—*"
Herobrine's head rotated 180 degrees to stare at Marcus. The college student's words died in his throat, replaced by a whimper as his phone screen displayed:
`[ACHIEVEMENT: WHAT A DEAL!]`
The Warden's distant roar vibrated sewer grates. A manhole cover *pinged* off a traffic light—now pixelated into redstone-lamp cubes—and embedded itself in a taxicab's hood. Manny Rodriguez screamed something in Spanglish as his rear axle morphed into powered rails.
Peter's mask lenses narrowed. "*Mr. Stark, the baby's* leveling up.*"
Indeed, glowing purple numerals flickered above Eli's head: `[Lvl 3]`. The toddler babbled happily, swinging the sword in erratic arcs. Each motion spawned phantom damage particles—tiny red cubes that dissipated against Roz's cardigan.
Tony's faceplate retracted. "*Okay,* new *plan—*"
Salvatore interrupted, waving his bat at the encroaching mobs. "*Plan?!*" A zombie's pixelated arm flopped onto his shoulder. He smashed it with a wet *crunch*. "*We're* dead, *paisano!*"
Roz's knees gave out. She collapsed against the stroller—now half-transformed into a minecart—still clutching Eli. The toddler giggled as his XP level ticked to `[Lvl 4]`.
A new sound cut through the chaos: the *thrum* of helicopter blades. Maria Hill's voice crackled over a megaphone. "*Stark! We've got civilians six blocks east—*"
"*Busy!*" Tony shot a repulsor blast at a creeper slinking toward Margaret O'Leary's window. The explosion left a perfect 3x3 crater in the sidewalk.
Herobrine stepped closer to Eli. His joints *clicked* with each movement—not bone, not sinew, but something approximating collision meshes. Roz flinched as his white fingers hovered inches from the toddler's face.
"*No!*" She shielded Eli with her body, oak leaves shedding from her hair like brittle confetti. "*Whatever you are, you* don't *touch—*"
Eli sneezed again.
Herobrine froze.
The sword in Eli's grip *flickered*—diamond, then iron, then gold, cycling through every Minecraft material at 30fps. With each change, corresponding ores *winked* into existence along the street:
- Diamond blocks crusted the bodega's awning.
- Iron ingots rained from a transforming traffic light.
herobrine looks at the appearing blocks than back at eliei and seems to come to a decision becuase he pciks up elie tucks him under one arm makes another netherwrite sword and walks deeper into the chaos
Ten seconds after Herobrine tucked Eli under his arm like a stray kitten, three things became immediately apparent:
1) The toddler's giggles echoed with unnatural reverb, as if his vocal cords were being processed through a cheap microphone.
2) The Netherite sword in Herobrine's free hand emitted a low *hum* that vibrated dental fillings within a twenty-foot radius.
3) Roz's scream hit a frequency that shattered the bodega's remaining windows—now 80% glass panes, 20% Minecraft glass blocks—into jagged shards that hovered midair before dissolving into item drops.
Salvatore lunged forward, his bat splintering against Herobrine's pixelated calf. "*Ridammi quel bambino!*" The weapon shattered into wooden planks that arranged themselves into a crafting table on the asphalt.
Tony's repulsors flared. "*Friday—prioritize civilian extraction!*"
"*Already on it, boss,*" the AI responded just as Maria Hill's Quinjet banked overhead. Ropes dropped, and four SHIELD agents rappelled down—though Agent Kowalski's harness glitched halfway, leaving him dangling in a T-pose like an unrendered NPC.
Eli wriggled in Herobrine's grip, swinging his mini sword at a zombie that lurched too close. The blade *phased* through the mob's skull, leaving a perfectly cubic hole. The zombie kept walking.
Peter's web *thwipped* past Herobrine's ear. "*Dude!*" He landed in a crouch on a transforming mailbox—now alternating between polished steel and birch planks. "*That's a* human child, *not a fucking loot drop!*"
Herobrine's head tilted. Eli's XP counter ticked to `[Lvl 5]`.
From the alley, Marcus Greene suddenly screamed—not in fear, but in academic outrage. "*THAT'S NOT HOW ENTROPY WORKS!*" He pointed at a creeper mid-detonation, its explosion freezing into a perfect cubic fireball hovering motionless in the air.
Tony's HUD flashed warnings. "*Oh come* on—*now time's glitching?!*"
Roz clawed at Herobrine's forearm, her arthritic fingers scraping against what felt like polished quartz. "*Please,*" she sobbed, oak leaves sprouting from her tear ducts. "*He's* allergic *to peanuts!*"
The Warden's roar shook the street. Pavement buckled into a staircase-like formation—each step precisely one block high. A stray dog (now 50% wolf model) yelped as it tumbled down the sudden incline.
Eli sneezed again.
Herobrine's sword flickered to diamond. Simultaneously:
- Every diamond block within three blocks *popped* into Eli's inventory with a *plink* sound.
- Margaret O'Leary's wedding ring dematerialized from her finger.
- A De Beers billboard across the street now read `[DIAMONDS: 1 EMERALD]`.
The diamond sword's *shing* as Herobrine cleaved through a spider jockey coincided exactly with Eli's seventh sneeze—this one accompanied by a puff of pixelated spores that drifted lazily toward a SHIELD medic attempting to stabilize Salvatore. The medic's gloved hand passed through the spores, and instantly his hazmat suit retextured into diamond armor, complete with jingling equip sounds.
"*Jesus H. Christ—*" The medic's voice modulator now emitted Minecraft villager *hrrm*s. Beside him, Agent Kowalski—still T-posing midair—suddenly sprouted bat wings and a tail. "*WHAT AM I?!*"
"*Netherborn,*" muttered Peter, webbing up a zombie that had gotten too close to Roz. The elderly woman clutched her chest, her cardigan buttons transmuting into emerald blocks. "*Mr. Stark, we gotta—wait, why is the sun a square?!*"
Tony didn't answer. His repulsors stuttered as his HUD glitched into 8-bit. "*Friday, reboot systems in—*" A creeper detonated against his boot jets. The explosion rendered in perfect cubes, flinging him backward into a streetlamp that *dinged* like an anvil. "*—goddamn creative mode.*"
Eli giggled, swinging his sword at a floating XP orb. The purple motes swirled into his nostrils, his level counter ticking to `[Lvl 6]`. His onesie's stitching rearranged itself into pixelated leather armor.
From the alley, Marcus Greene had transitioned from panic to academic fervor. "*FASCINATING!*" He scribbled notes in a book that kept flipping between lined paper and birch planks. "*The toddler's acting as a *conduit*—every interaction with Herobrine accelerates reality's conversion to game logic!*"
Salvatore, now sporting a health bar above his head (`❤️❤️❤️`), limped toward Roz. "*Rosalina,*" he hissed, "*the baby's* changing *things!*" He gestured wildly at her oak-leaf hair, now sprouting apples with telltale *pop* sounds.
Roz trembled, her fingers digging into the transforming stroller handles. "*I don't care if he turns the whole borough into* Legoland—" She lunged for Eli, her arthritic joints cracking like breaking blocks. "*—that's my* grandson!*"
Herobrine's head swiveled toward her. The void-white eyes *pulsed*, and suddenly Roz froze mid-motion—not paralyzed, but trapped in a visible hitbox outline, her body flickering like a stalled video buffer.
"*NO!*" Salvatore swung his splintered bat. It passed through Herobrine's shoulder harmlessly, the damage numbers (`❌ 0`) floating uselessly upward.
Eli blinked up at Herobrine. The sword in his tiny hand morphed into a golden carrot, which he promptly gummed. Drool dripped onto the Netherite greaves below, each droplet *plinking* like a water bucket placement.
Then—distinctly, horrifyingly—the Warden *spoke*.
Not in growls.
In *Galactic Alphabet*.
`[BOSS MUSIC: WARDEN THEME.PLAY]` scrolled across the street in glowing purple text. The ground beneath them *warped*, the asphalt peeling back to reveal deepslate blocks veined with sculk. A hundred blocky shriekers erupted from the pavement, their tendrils lashing toward—
"*MAMA!*" Eli wailed, dropping the carrot.
Herobrine *flinched*.
The reaction lasted exactly 0.3 seconds—but in that span:
1) Every mob within a 50-block radius froze.
2) The Warden's health bar (`????????`) flickered to `[❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️]`.
3) Herobrine's sword arm twitched toward Eli's back in what could almost be mistaken for... *comfort*?
Tony's repulsors sputtered back online. "*Did... did the eldritch block demon just* console *the baby?*"
Peter's mask lenses dilated. "*I think he* imprinted. *Like a duck.*"
Maria Hill's voice crackled over comms. "*Stark, we've got civilians reporting* bedrock disintegration *beneath Flushing Meadows—*"
Herobrine's head snapped toward the Queensboro Bridge—now half-transformed into netherrack. Eli hiccuped, and three endermen *vwooped* into existence atop a stranded ice cream truck, their purple eyes fixed on the toddler.
The transfer happened faster than Stark's neural processors could track—one moment Herobrine's bony fingers clutched Eli's onesie, the next the toddler was airborne in a parabola that should've shattered his ribs, except Tony's repulsors flared automatically to cushion the impact. Eli landed in the armor's crook with a *poof* of golden apple-scented particles, giggling as his tiny fists grabbed the faceplate.
"*Jesus—*" Tony's voice modulator crackled under Eli's sticky fingers. The kid's XP counter ticked to `[Lvl 7]`, and abruptly the HUD displayed:
`[ACHIEVEMENT: BABYSITTER GET!]`
Herobrine didn't wait for acknowledgments. His claws—no, *fingers*, they were definitely fingernails now, sharpened to obsidian points—snapped upward. Sixteen pieces of Netherite armor *plinked* into existence midair, assembling around his frame with the precision of an autoloading schematic. The chestplate's ridges glowed with Soul Speed III runes, their violet light throwing blocky shadows across the shattered bodega windows.
Salvatore choked on his own spit. "*Santo cielo—*"
The dual swords manifested with twin *shings* that made every canine within six blocks whimper. Their edges thrummed with Sharpness V particles, each crimson mote tracing perfect 16-bit arcs as Herobrine assumed a stance no human spine could mimic—torso rotated 45 degrees left, legs staggered at pixel-perfect right angles.
The Warden responded in kind. Its health bar (`❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️`) pulsed as it *unfolded* from the subway grate, vertebrae extending block by block until its horns scraped the transforming traffic lights. Sculk tendrils lashed out, embedding themselves in the pavement—now 60% cobblestone texture—with wet *thunks*.
Maria Hill's Quinjet banked hard. "*All units,* pull *back!*" Her command dissolved into static as the Warden's shriek (`SOUND FILE: WARDEN_ROAR.OGG`) corrupted every frequency below 10kHz.
Peter's spider-sense overloaded. "*Move!*" He webbed Roz and Salvatore clear milliseconds before the Warden's fist cratered the street in a perfect 3x3x3 cube. Chunks of asphalt hovered midair, their edges visibly pixellating.
Herobrine moved. Not with human acceleration—his form *teleported* eight blocks north in a shower of purple particles, swords crossing in an X-shaped strike that sheared through the Warden's ribcage. Damage numbers (`⚔️ 18!`) bloomed crimson.
The Warden retaliated with a sonic boom that shattered every remaining glass surface for two blocks. Marcus Greene's notebook disintegrated into paper scraps that rearranged themselves into—
`[ITEM: PAPER x64]`
Eli squealed in Stark's arms, his drool splattering the armor's forearm. Where spittle hit metal, the repulsor ports flickered between high-tech nozzles and Minecraft dispenser blocks.
Tony's voice was pure strained caffeine. "*Friday, tell me you're getting—*"
"*Boss, the Warden's vibrating at 48Hz—that's* bedrock resonance.*" The AI's normally crisp tone now carried a faint 8-bit distortion. "*Recommend immediate—*"
Herobrine interrupted with a horizontal slash that bisected a parked Prius (`VEHICLE ENTITY: DESTROYED`). The upper half phased through the Warden's torso, dealing `⚔️ 22!` as it vanished into the entity's hitbox.
Peter webbed up to a lamppost—now fully transformed into a jungle log—just as three endermen *vwooped* into the battlefield. Their gangly limbs twitched toward Eli, who giggled and waved his carrot. One reached for him—
Herobrine *snarled*. The sound ripped through the airwaves as literal corrupt data (`ERROR: CHUNK_LOAD_FAILURE`), making every electronic device within 100 yards bluescreen. The offending enderman (`MOB_ID: 01001101`) disintegrated mid-teleport, dropping three rotten flesh blocks that splattered against Kowalski's new Netherborn wings.
"*Did he just—*" Peter's mask lenses flickered. "*Mr. Stark, he's* agro-locked *on anything that looks at the baby!*"
Tony barely dodged a sculk tendril. "*No shit, Spider-Boy! Now* contain *the—*"
The Warden's counterattack came in a 270-degree shockwave that liquefied pavement into `[BLOCK_TYPE: DEEPSLATE]herobrine blocks with his swords and speed 9 parrticals and steenght 10 particals dance around his body
Herobrine's swords became blurs of violet and obsidian, their enchanted edges splitting photons into discrete 16-bit particles. Speed IX manifested as afterimages—not the smooth motion blur of human kinetics, but staggered frames that flickered at 30fps. Each footstep *plinked* against the transforming asphalt (`BLOCK UPDATE: COBBLESTONE → NETHERITE`), sending up perfect cubes of dust that hung midair like unrendered chunks.
Three blocks east, Detective Maria Rodriguez—kneeling behind an overturned hot dog cart (`ENTITY: FOOD_VENDOR`)—choked on the sudden scent of overworld grass. Her Glock's sights wavered as Herobrine's form *teleported* through the Warden's sonic blast (`DAMAGE: ❌ IMMUNE`), the particles of his passing imprinting temporary chunk errors in reality.
"*Madre de Dios—*" Her partner, a sweaty rookie named Kowalski (unrelated to the now-winged SHIELD agent), gaped at his suddenly pixelated watch. "*Sarge, my* Rolex *just turned into a goddamn clock item!*"
The Warden's counterstrike came as a vertical slam that should've pancaked Herobrine into a red smear. Instead, his Strength X particles flared crimson—
—and he *blocked*.
Not with a parry. Not with a dodge.
By holding both swords parallel to the ground like a Minecraft player spam-clicking. The impact registered as a rapid-fire string of `(⚔️ BLOCKED!)` notifications, each collision sending out concentric shockwaves that:
1) Shattered every car window along 34th Street into perfectly square shards
2) Forced Peter Parker to web-sling backward as his spider-sense *glitched* (`WARNING: ENTITY_HITBOX_INCONSISTENT`)
3) Made Eli clap his chubby hands, his XP counter jumping to `[LVL 8]`
Tony's armor boots skidded on blocks of suddenly soul sand. "*Friday! Damage report!*"
The AI responded through increasing static: `[BOSS HEALTH: 82%] [AREA CORRUPTION: 63%] [WARNING: LOCALIZED GRAVITY—`
Herobrine didn't wait. He *shifted*—not stepped, but literally altered his world coordinates—three blocks west to appear atop a transforming bus stop. The glass roof groaned under his weight, its textures flickering between tempered glass and Minecraft panes.
"*¡Mira!*" shouted a bodega cashier named Luisa, pointing at Herobrine's feet. Where his Netherite greaves touched the surface, faint green numbers flickered:
`[X: -203.47] [Y: 64.00] [Z: 891.22]`
The Warden *charged*, its massive arms swinging in an overhead arc that warped the air into visible hitboxes. Herobrine's response was inhumanly precise—
He *jumped*.
Not a superhero leap. A Minecraft jump.
Exactly 1.252 blocks high.
The Warden's fists cratered the bus stop (`BLOCK_DESTROYED: GLASS x6`), but Herobrine was already descending with dual downward strikes (`CRITICAL HIT! ⚔️ 34!`). The swords carved through the Warden's shoulder tendrils, which dissolved into sculk catalysts that *plopped* onto the street like malignant melons.
From a fire escape, twelve-year-old gamer Miguel (different Miguel) screamed into his livestream: "*HE'S* STACKING *CRITS! LOOK AT HIS HOTBAR!*" His phone displayed Herobrine's floating inventory—nine slots cycling between swords, golden apples, and suspiciously glowing potions.
Detective Rodriguez's radio crackled. "*All units,*" dispatch announced with eerie calm, "*we have multiple 911 calls reporting... bedrock fissures beneath Central Park.*"
Eli sneezed again.
Herobrine's head snapped toward the sound—just as the Warden exploited the distraction. A sculk-covered fist connected with his ribcage (`DAMAGE: ❤️ 12`), sending him skidding backward through:
1) A hot dog stand (`ENTITY_DESTROYED: FOOD_VENDOR`)
2) A hydrant (`BLOCK_UPDATE: WATER x1000`)
3) Miguel's left sneaker (`ITEM_DROPPED: NIKE_AIR x1`)
Tony's repulsors whined. "*Kid, we need to—*"
herobrine stands back up jump boost 5 partials floating around him and his HP triples Admin Rights
Herobrine's limbs spasmed midair—not from pain, but with the jittery motion of an entity glitching through terrain. Jump Boost V particles erupted from his boots in concentric cyan rings, each pulse rewriting local gravity constants. The Warden's follow-up strike passed through his flickering hitbox (`PHASE: 1.8%`) as commercial neon signs along Broadway stuttered into blocky `[GLOWSTONE]` variants.
"*WHAT IN THE ACTUAL—*" Tony's repulsors short-circuited when Eli sneezed again, the toddler's mucus splatter transforming his gauntlet into a `[ITEM: NETHERITE_INGOT]`. The admin aura radiating from Herobrine pulsed in time with distant subway tremors, fracturing reality at 32x32 pixel intervals.
Luisa the bodega cashier crossed herself so vigorously her crucifix left a `[DAMAGE: ❤️ 0.5]` imprint on her chest. "*¡Es el* creative mode *del diablo!*"
Miguel (gamer Miguel) dropped his phone. The screen froze on Herobrine's status bar—now displaying:
`[HEALTH: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️]
[EFFECTS: STRENGTH X, REGEN ∞, ADMIN]`
Detective Rodriguez's Glock spontaneously reloaded with `[ARROW x64]`.
**0m:10s**
The Warden's sonic screech (`SOUND_ID: WARDEN_SCREECH.OGG`) hit Herobrine point-blank... and dissipated against an invisible barrier flashing `[WORLDGUARD: ENABLED]`.
**0m:23s**
Peter's spidey-sense shorted out entirely. "*Mr. Stark—his* hitbox *just went* negative!*"
Tony pried Eli's fingers off his now-partially-transformed faceplate. "*Yeah well his* health bar *looks like a damn* thermonuclear bomb—*"
**0m:37s**
Herobrine *raised* one hand. Not to attack.
To *keypress*.
The air above his palm rendered a glowing, three-dimensional `[ / ]` command prompt.
Miguel (not gamer Miguel) vomited into a suddenly pixelated trash can (`BLOCK: COMPOSTER`). "*NO NO NO HE'S USING* SLASH COMMANDS—*"
**0m:49s**
Herobrine's hollow voice echoed with corrupted data packets:
`/effect @e[type=warden] instant_damage 255`
The Warden's health bar (`❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️`) evaporated in one frame. Its death animation didn't play—it simply *deleted* mid-roar, leaving behind a floating `[ITEM: SCULK_CATALYST x64]` and four teenagers whose jeans had texture-glitched into leather armor.
**1m:02s**
Silence.
Then the bedrock *screamed*.
Not metaphorically—the actual tectonic plates beneath Manhattan emitted a basso profundo shriek as 16-bit fissures spiderwebbed up skyscraper foundations. A delivery truck near Times Square sank three meters into suddenly `[BLOCK_TYPE: SOUL_SAND]` asphalt.
Eli started crying. His tears left `[PARTICLE: WATER_DROP]` effects in the air.
Tony Stark—billionaire, futurist, currently holding a shapeshifting toddler—did the only logical thing.
He threw his hands up. "*Alright! Bedrock-breaking baby-wrangling eldritch block demon! You win!*" His helmet retracted to reveal eyebags deeper than the new subway chasms. "*What's the* endgame *here, Minecraft-man?*"
Herobrine's head rotated 180 degrees without disturbing his shoulders. His mouth unhinged like a chest GUI opening:
`/gamemode creative`
Every lightbulb within half a mile exploded in showers of `[ITEM: GLOWSTONE_DUST]`.
**1m:47s**
Miguel (gamer Miguel) whispered into his dead livestream: "*We're all* dead chunks *now.*"
Detective Rodriguez's Glock transformed fully into a `[ITEM: BOW]`. She fainted.
Peter Parker's spider-sense rebooted with one urgent pulse:
`WARNING: WORLD BORDER DETECTED`
herobrine snaps his fingers and all of the chaos suddenly stops and the world rendering beigns to coexist with the real world