PS: this chapter wont effect the story much
The rain in the Land of Rain was usually depressing, but to Ren Uchiha, it tasted like champagne.
He walked between his parents, heading back to their tent. In his hand, he clutched a thick scroll sealed with the Hokage's personal stamp.
It wasn't a mission scroll. It was a Payment Order.
Value: 2,250,000 Ryo.
Ren's thumb stroked the paper lovingly.
'Two and a quarter million,' Ren thought, his mind drifting into a beautiful, gold-plated hallucination. 'Do you know what this buys? It buys independence. It buys a private laboratory. It buys a castle on the highest peak of Konoha where I can look down on the peasants.'
His imagination ran wild.
'I'll install a heated floor. No, heated everything. And the toilet... yes, the Golden Toilet. Solid gold. With a diamond flush handle. A throne worthy of a merchant king. I'll sit on it and read the bingo book while sipping tea made from leaves grown on Mount Myoboku.'
He let out a small, greedy giggle.
'I am rich. I am powerful. I am—'
Swish.
Ren's hand felt light.
He blinked. He looked down. His hand was empty. The scroll was gone.
"Huh?"
Ren froze. Had he been robbed? In the middle of the camp? By a super-speed shinobi? Was it Minato? No, Minato was still a kid in the academy.
Ren whipped his head around, Sharingan activating instinctively to track the thief.
He didn't have to look far.
Walking right next to him, tucking the scroll safely into her own flak jacket, was Kaori Uchiha.
"Mom?" Ren asked, his voice trembling slightly.
Kaori patted the pocket, a look of supreme, righteous responsibility on her face.
"That's a lot of money, Ren-chan," she said, her voice dripping with motherly concern. "It's dangerous for a child to carry that much cash. What if you drop it? What if you get mugged? You're so careless with your things sometimes."
Ren's jaw dropped.
"Careless? Mom, I just negotiated a arms deal with the Hokage and Danzo Shimura! I'm a Jonin! I have a Sharingan! I can track a fly from a mile away, I think I can keep track of my wallet!"
"Hush now," Kaori waved him off, not slowing her walking pace. "You're still my baby. You don't know the value of money yet. You'll just spend it on silly things like... ninja tools or candy."
'Candy?!' Ren screamed internally. 'I was going to buy real estate! I was going to stimulate the local economy!'
"Mom, give it back," Ren pleaded, reaching out. "I need to... invest it."
Kaori dodged his hand with elite Jonin speed.
"No, no," she tutted. "I will keep it safe for you. I'll put it in the Clan's savings account under my name. It will be your 'Future Fund'."
She smiled brightly, the kind of smile that signaled the end of a conversation.
"I'll save it until you get married! Then, on your wedding day, I'll give it all to your wife so she can manage the household finances. You'll thank me later."
Ren stopped walking. He felt like he had been hit by Onoki's Dust Release.
'My wife?'
Ren stared into the void.
'I'm fifteen. I don't have a girlfriend. I don't even have a crush, unless you count money. She's going to hold my fortune hostage for a hypothetical woman I haven't met yet? That's at least five years away! Maybe ten! Inflation will eat my profits!'
The vision of the Golden Toilet shattered. It crumbled into dust, replaced by a vision of a standard porcelain bowl and a very sad Ren.
"Dad!" Ren turned to his father, the last beacon of hope. "Say something! She's robbing me! That's my blood money! Literally!"
Satoshi Uchiha stopped. He looked at his son.
Ren saw it in his father's eyes. It wasn't anger. It wasn't support.
It was pity.
It was the look of a veteran soldier who had lost this exact battle a thousand times before.
Satoshi walked over, placed a heavy hand on Ren's shoulder, and squeezed.
"Ren," Satoshi said solemnly. "Let it go."
"But—"
"It's gone, son," Satoshi whispered, his voice cracking slightly. "It's in the 'Safe Keeping' dimension now. I haven't seen my paycheck since the First Shinobi War."
Ren looked at his father's defeated posture. He looked at his mother's cheerful humming as she patted the 2.25 million Ryo bulging in her vest.
'I've been scammed,' Ren realized with horror. 'The village didn't get me. Danzo didn't get me. My own mother pulled the ultimate heist.'
Ren slumped, his soul leaving his body.
'Goodbye, Golden Toilet. Goodbye, Floating Castle. Hello, allowance.'
They reached the edge of the camp where the Vanguard was assembling. The comedic moment faded as quickly as Ren's wealth.
Satoshi's demeanor shifted instantly from the henpecked husband to the Uchiha Commander.
"Ren," Satoshi said, his voice sharp. "Focus."
Ren shook his head, slapping his cheeks to banish the grief over his lost Ryo.
"I'm focused," Ren said, his eyes hardening.
"Good," Satoshi pointed toward the dunes in the distance. "Because money won't matter if we're dead.
Ren took a deep breath. He checked his equipment. He checked his remaining (unsold) tags.
He looked at his hand, clenching it into a fist.
[Quincy Compatibility: 74%]
The tension of the war, the pressure of the upcoming fight—it all boiled together in his gut.
'Fine,' Ren thought aggressively. 'If I can't be rich, I'll be strong. I'll take out my frustration on the enemy. Someone is going to pay for my lost toilet.'
"Let's go," Ren said.
The Second Great Ninja War was about to reach its climax.