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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 20
Chapter Title: Side Effects (2)
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That night.
As always, I was scribbling in my journal by the light of a lantern in one corner of the room.
— Damn it. I kept making excuses about side effects to the old man, but for it to start already.
I wrote down the frustrations of the day for a bit.
Then I stopped my brush and fell into thought.
'My handwriting… it's not to my liking.'
Trying to write in Hangul with a brush made the characters look crooked and uneven somehow. It felt like I had to tear up the paper I was using right now and start the journal over.
— Damn side effects. No, since when did I even care about my handwriting?
Come to think of it, whether I wrote with a brush or a pencil, my handwriting had always been terrible.
— It's not like I'm showing it to anyone. It's just a journal for venting alone—what does the handwriting matter!
— This handwriting is weird too. I want to tear it all up right now.
— 은랬다ㅣ린ㄷㄹㅡㅍㅏㅣ읖
Toward the end of the journal, meaningless strokes filled with rage continued.
After struggling with my handwriting in the journal and venting for a while like that.
"Huh?"
A sudden thought struck me.
'Do I really need to stress myself out ignoring the side effects on purpose?'
Honestly, the current side effect was just something that 'caused irritation.'
It was at a level I could easily ignore if I wanted. That's why, even while getting annoyed, I was still writing in the journal.
But.
— Anyway, won't it get much worse once my realm advances further?
If it was just irritation now, then once the Soul-Stealing Heartless Sword realm advanced, obsessive symptoms would probably start for sure.
That said, I couldn't stop practicing the demonic art at this point. If I failed to enter the Demonic Path Academy, I'd die.
But setting that aside.
— Becoming a perfectionist… that doesn't sound so bad, does it?
I was only stressed now because I perceived it as a 'side effect.'
If I just surrendered to this side effect and became a perfect human in everything…
"Not bad at all?"
Having thought that far, I nodded to myself.
"Yeah. The problem is thinking of it as a side effect. Positive thinking. Right. Positive is the best."
Repeating that to myself, I tore up the journal just like that.
The parts I had newly written today, the ones whose handwriting I didn't like.
And then, as if a craftsman were stitching a garment with utmost care stitch by stitch.
I carefully embedded each consonant and vowel, pouring my heart into writing a new journal entry.
Perhaps because I was so focused, even though it was just writing a journal, beads of sweat formed on my forehead.
"Phew. That was close."
I hurriedly wiped the sweat from my forehead and muttered. If the sweat dripped down and smeared the fresh ink I'd worked so hard on, I'd have to start the journal over.
Having averted the crisis, I once again poured my heart into the journal. Like that, without realizing how much time had passed, I focused on the journal for a long while.
"Phew."
Finally, having written everything I wanted in handwriting that satisfied me, I let out a deep sigh.
Having sat tense for so long, my back and shoulders ached.
"Time to get some sleep."
But strangely, my mind felt much more at ease.
How long had it been after I dragged my weary body to the bed?
"Mm."
Suddenly struck by the urge to urinate, I ended up opening my eyes in the middle of the night.
"Sigh. Midnight trips to the outhouse suck."
Even after over a year since waking up in this place, this was the one thing I still couldn't get used to.
As I recalled that complaint and got up, I unwittingly froze.
The dark night sky. Moonlight peeking through the clouds cast a faint glow into the room through the paper-covered window.
But in one spot. The darkness was swallowing that faint moonlight.
A person's shadow.
While I froze upon discovering the identity-unknown guest who had come in the dead of night.
The man, whose face was hidden in shadow, looked at me with his only visible eyes.
"You saw me?"
"...."
It was the voice of my third senior brother, Seo Wan-pyeong.
'…He's finally come to kill me.'
Cold sweat trickled down my spine.
* * *
I was momentarily speechless, but I hurriedly opened my mouth.
They say even if you're dragged into a tiger's den, you can survive if you keep your wits.
Right now, it was the tiger barging into my house, but doing something was better than staying still.
"What brings you here in the dead of night, Senior Brother?"
"It seems my visit doesn't please you."
At the negative tone, I tried to hide my startled feelings and calmly replied.
"How could that be? I'm overjoyed that my most respected senior brother has come to visit. I was just puzzled since you came in the dead of night instead of during the day."
Even as alarms blared in the back of my mind about the threat to my life, lies flowed smoothly from my mouth.
'If this is an occupational disease, then it's an occupational disease.'
It was thanks to having gotten used to dealing politely with unreasonable complainers.
I could curse inwardly while smiling on the outside.
And whether my flattery worked, teeth appeared in the face of my third senior brother, visible only through his eyes.
It meant he was smiling. A somewhat twisted smile, though.
"It was to avoid the escorts."
"…Did I have escorts?"
Was he referring to Jin Ha-yeon?
I had that question, but his answer was unexpected.
"Not your escorts, but mine."
"…You mean you came in the dead of night to approach while avoiding your own escorts, Senior Brother?"
What kind of nonsense is this?
While I swallowed the latter half inwardly. The mad assassin senior brother resolved my doubt.
"Indeed. My escorts aren't to protect me, but to protect others from me."
"...."
So, coming while avoiding those escorts meant he came to kill me, right?
Cold sweat now poured down my spine like a storm.
'Should I scream?'
Jin Ha-yeon might come to save me… but my head would be chopped off before that?
'If I draw my sword, can I hold out until Jin Ha-yeon joins?'
Naturally, the Soul-Stealing Ready Sword I'd learned today came to mind. An initial stance specialized for blocking an enemy's surprise attack the moment you draw.
Thanks to the teaching that the sword must always be close, it was right beside the bed.
But.
'Can I block that mad assassin's attack?'
The gap between me, who had just entered the Entering Demon realm, and him, who had reached the Extreme Demon realm, was probably immeasurable.
My head kept ringing negative warnings.
While I racked my brain desperately seeking a way to survive.
For some reason, the mad murderer opened his mouth again.
"It's always been like that. It seems Master doesn't trust me. Well, it's because I'm too lacking to be the Heavenly Demon's disciple. But you're different."
"M-Me, Senior Brother?"
"Indeed. I heard Master recently issued new orders to all the branches. Something about building an academy, I think. And Master boasted that the idea came from you."
"...."
So.
Master bragged about me, and the paranoid senior brother came to kill me out of jealousy.
'What kind of butterfly effect is this!!!!!'
I felt like I could die of injustice.
Right at that moment.
The shadow of the psychotic killer moved.
The shadow where his right arm should be thrust forward.
'He's going to kill me!'
But I couldn't accept death just like that.
I too hurriedly moved my arm to grab the scabbard by the bed, but the murderer extending his right hand forward was much faster than me drawing my sword.
But what do you know.
The psychotic killer's right hand didn't hold a sword.
It held only torn and crumpled scraps of paper.
"???"
While I paused midway through drawing my sword upon seeing the paper scraps. Senior Brother spoke.
"So, I came out of curiosity. To see what the difference is between Master's pride-and-joy youngest disciple and me. If I moved openly, the escorts might report something strange to Master, so I came secretly. I can't disappoint Master again."
"I-Is that so?"
"And when I came in, I saw these papers on the floor. I wondered what the content was that Master's pride-and-joy youngest disciple wrote before sleeping, but it was writing I couldn't read."
Only then did I realize what those paper scraps were.
'The journal I tore up and crumpled!'
I had been so focused on rewriting the journal that I forgot about the torn one.
Since it was still the Entering Demon stage of the Soul-Stealing Heartless Sword, the obsessive symptoms only came when fixated on something specific. It wasn't at the level of compulsively cleaning, so I had left it and gone to sleep.
"Can you tell what's written here?"
At Senior Brother's question, I repeated the same excuse I'd given Jin Ha-yeon.
That it was a cipher I made for studying the doctrines.
"To study the doctrines that way… It's a method I never even thought of. As expected, you're completely different from the likes of me. Well, I suppose I'm the useless one."
It felt like he might kill me if I let it go like this because he didn't like it, so I hurriedly spoke up.
"Useless? What are you saying, Senior Brother! How can the second person I respect most say such a thing!"
"You respect me second?"
"Yes! Excluding our great Heavenly Demon Master, you are the one I respect most among the senior brothers!"
At my answer, teeth appeared again through the shadow. A smile that looked somewhat crooked.
But soon, Senior Brother erased that smile and spoke in a gloomy voice.
"To respect a guy like me. You must be trying to mock me now."
At that tone full of thorns, I thought, as expected.
'The side effect of Shadowless Fourteen Hands has shattered his self-esteem.'
If so, wouldn't filling his self-esteem a bit make him leave without killing me?
It sounded ridiculous, but it was better than giving up without trying anything.
Praise makes even a whale dance, right!
"I heard you entered the Demonic Path Academy as top scholar and graduated as top scholar, Senior Brother. I'm just a deficient guy who's not even sure if I can enter the Demonic Path Academy."
"If Master expects it, you could top the Demonic Path Academy anytime. And the top graduate of the Demonic Path Academy was also done by Eldest Brother and the sixth brother."
"I-I heard from Master! About how much Master trusts you, Third Senior Brother!"
"Master said that?"
The always negative Senior Brother reacted when Master was mentioned.
"He told me not to tell the other senior brothers, but slipped it to me. It seems Master doesn't praise us directly to keep us from getting arrogant. I actually never received praise from Master while learning from him."
Memories of Master's praise immediately came to mind several times, but I said it as if it had never happened.
"The thing Senior Brother mentioned earlier, I heard it for the first time through you. I too worried that I was too lacking compared to Master and the senior brothers."
"Even the clever junior brother had such worries?"
"Clever? I'm always getting scolded by Master. And while scolding me, he always said to model myself after Third Senior Brother."
"…Master said that?"
As he asked back, teeth appeared and hid repeatedly at his mouth.
It meant his lips were twitching.
Certain this was my chance, I kept my mouth moving without pause.
"Yes, Senior Brother! Your Shadowless Fourteen Hands is the world's greatest assassination art. Even the Martial Alliance Leader could be dealt with if you set your mind to it, so Master feels at ease just having you around."
"I'm also insanely envious of Senior Brother's tall stature and handsome looks. I want to grow up to be like you. Hahaha."
Like that, as my brain burned up desperately scraping together praises and babbling nonstop for a while.
"Hahaha. I never imagined Master and the youngest junior brother thought of me that way. I thought you all always looked down on me as a shady guy or something."
"Ahahaha. N-No, it's a misunderstanding, Senior Brother. How could I think that."
Finally, Third Senior Brother burst into laughter with a pleased expression.
Nodding in satisfaction with his laughter, Senior Brother suddenly tilted his head and asked.
"But, little brother."
"Yes, Senior Brother."
"Why are you holding your sword?"
"...."