Slowly dying.
The words kept repeating themselves in her head, and she couldn't get them out.
She pushed herself toward the exit, and each step felt harder than the one before. When she walked out of the hospital, the evening wind touched her face, but it didn't make her feel better; it just made everything seem more real. Too real.
Different thoughts came to her all at once.
How could she find that much money?
Who could she possibly ask for help?
What if she failed to get the money in time?
What if… what if her grandmother really died?
The fear made her stomach hurt badly.
Without thinking, she took out her phone and called Bavkgy's number. It rang once. It rang twice. Then it went straight to voicemail. Again.
Her shoulders dropped. Like always.
He hadn't answered her calls for days, and when he did, he sounded far away. Not paying attention. Like he was somewhere else.
She needed someone, anyone right now, and Bavkgy whenever he's needed would never be there. Just like in the past before the outing.
He was never there.
Feeling tears welling up, she quickly wiped her face and called Lina instead.
Lina answered on the second ring. "Guin? What's wrong? You don't sound like yourself."
Guinevere let out a shaky breath. "Lina… it's Grandma. The doctor said… said she's getting sicker. And the money Lina, it's too much. I don't know what to do. What if I'm too late? What if…"
"Hey." Lina's voice became gentle. "Just breathe, okay? Just breathe. Don't think about the worst thing that could happen right now."
"I can't help it," Guinevere said quietly, tears about to fall again.
"I'm so sorry, Guin. I wish I could be there with you. But listen, your grandmother is strong. And you've dealt with worse problems before. You'll find a way to solve this. I know you will."
Guinevere put her hand over her eyes, nodding even though Lina couldn't see her. "I just… I feel like I'm all alone."
"You're not," Lina said strongly. "Not as long as you have me. And Bavkgy too… but honestly, that guy needs to answer his phone."
Guinevere gave a weak laugh. "You're telling me."
"Try calling him again," Lina said softly. "Maybe he's just busy."
But deep down, Guinevere couldn't get rid of the bad feeling that had been bothering her for days. The calls he didn't answer. The weak replies. The excuses he made. The distance between them.
Something was wrong.
When the call ended and everything was quiet again, Guinevere stood still on the sidewalk, knowing what she had to do.
But not the thoughts that lingered in her mind, the thoughts she had once in her mind. But he had cleared it when he took her to the fair.
But she needed to see him in person.
To talk face-to-face.
If not for help… then at least to hear the truth.
She walked quickly toward the bus stop, her legs moving faster than her thoughts. The bus ride to Bavkgy's place felt like it took forever. Every bump in the road, every streetlight she passed made her worry more. By the time she got to his street, it was dark, and the moon was barely visible through the clouds.
She couldn't remember the last time she visited him in his apartment, when he would say something, he would tell her, he wasn't home mostly and the apartment was locked.
She hardly ever went to his apartment unless he says so.
But today she didn't bother for permission. If he wasn't home, then she would wait for as long as she could.
She went up the stairs to his apartment, and she noticed right away that the door was open a little. Her heart jumped. Bavkgy never left his door unlocked. Never.
"Hello?" she said quietly, pushing the door open.
No one answered.
But loud music, a mix of blues and soft rock, filled the air, shaking the walls. It was the type of music Bavkgy only put on when he felt a very… particular way.
Guinevere entered carefully. She smelled pricey cologne mixed with another scent a perfume. A flowery one she didn't know.
Her gaze went straight to the shoes by the door.
A nude pair of heels she knew well.
Lina's heels.
She blinked, unsure of what she was seeing.
No… that could not be real.
Why would Lina be in this place?
Her heart beat fast as she walked further inside the home. The living room had low lighting, but was messier than normal. Money was thrown on the floor and couch, like someone had quickly emptied pockets without care.
Her heart beat even faster.
"Bavkgy?" she said again, her voice very quiet.
No sound came back.
Only the steady beat of the blues music.
She walked around the corner toward the bedroom and everything inside her stopped moving.
Like a deer caught in bright lights, Guinevere froze where she stood.
On the bed, moving, close together, and not knowing she was there was her boyfriend.
And under him…
her closest friend.
Lina.
The world seemed to pause.
The music stopped.
The spinning of the fan on the ceiling.
Even her breathing stopped.
Her mind screamed, but her body would not move. The betrayal hit her hard like a punch, sharp and hard to breathe. It felt fake, like she watched someone else's life fall apart before her.
Her legs shook. Her heart felt stuck in her throat. Her sight blurred, but not enough to not see what was in front of her.
Bavkgy's voice, quiet and loving, for someone he cared about, filled the room, but the words were not for her.
Not anymore.
Guinevere stayed there, unmoving, as the two people she loved the most in the world broke her completely.
And right then, seeing the man she trusted and the girl she called her sister, Guinevere understood something:
She had never felt as lonely as she did at that moment.